


We’re Just Ships Passing in the Night, But I Want You Forever

by Cayenne_Avocado



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Betrayal, Blood and Violence, Eventual Romance, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pirates, Slow Burn, no beta we die like men, pirate stuff the author knows nothing about, shitty situations all around
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:14:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 101,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24024145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cayenne_Avocado/pseuds/Cayenne_Avocado
Summary: A varigo pirate au, inspired by the wonderful song Ship in a Bottle by Steffan Argus.
Relationships: Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel, Hugo/Varian (Disney: Varian and the Seven Kingdoms)
Comments: 261
Kudos: 421





	1. Raid the Rich

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littlemisslol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisslol/gifts).



> Hey!!! I said I wouldn’t do it but here I am with another multi chapter fic!!! This time varigo!!! Updates may be all over the place but I’m going to try to stick to a schedule(I will fail)! Enjoy!!!

Varian tugged at the collar of his shirt. It was almost suffocating, the room stuffed to the brim with nobility from the far reaches of the seven kingdoms, all here to see the princess’s coronation. He shouldn’t be here, he didn’t belong here. He understood why he was, his father was the lord of Old Corona, but it didn’t mean he belonged. He was much more comfortable among the fields of his home, it was much more lax, here amongst the nobility he couldn’t be himself, the stuffy suits and formalities were too much, too fake. His back was beginning to ache from standing so straight, his scalp beginning to itch from whatever goop had been used to slick it back into place. His cheeks were flushed from the heat of the room. He couldn’t wait to get out of here. 

“Stop fidgeting.” Varian dropped his hand to his side, letting out a huff at his father’s words. 

“I wouldn’t be fidgeting if it wasn’t so damn stuffy.” He shot back with a roll of his eyes. Quirin shot him a glare. Varian leaned back against the glass of the window, the coolness of it providing him with some relief. “How much longer?” 

He turned his face to look out the window when Quirin shushed him. The sea was visible from this height, the castle looming high above the rest of the town. He wanted nothing more than to escape this hell for a chance to experience life at sea. He’d never be allowed, his mother had disappeared at sea, since then Quirin had kept him on a short leash. He sighed, earning another sharp glare from his father. The trumpets blared, Varian casting one last glance out the window. His eyes narrowed as he made out the shape of a ship pulling into the dock. That wasn’t right, docks were closed today for Rapunzel’s coronation. “Dad, do you see that?” 

“Enough, Varian.” Quirin snapped, pulling Varian’s arm so he was no longer leaning against the window. 

Varian’s eyes narrowed, yanking his arm out of his grasp. “Dad, if you’d just-“ His words cut off, as the building shook, a sound akin to thunder filling the halls. The sounds of panic followed soon after, people running and pushing to get out the doors. Instead of following them, Varian turned back to the window, eyes going wide as a cannonball soared towards him. The glass shattered as he dropped to the ground, cutting into his skin, his ears ringing harshly. Quirin was in front of him in a second, checking him over, his lips were moving but Varian couldn’t hear a word he was saying. He pulled Varian forward placing a kiss on top of his head before drawing his sword and running off into the crowd. Varian stumbled after him, his balance thrown off with the loss of his hearing. “Dad! Wait!” 

It was too late, he was lost in the crowd, the chaos only growing around him. He fought against the stampede, heading in the opposite direction of the rest of the people. He had been in the castle more than his fair share, he knew all of the secret passageways inside and out. He finally broke free from the crowd, running to the wall behind the throne and pushing on it. A small pathway opened, he forced his way inside, barely able to fit. It closed as soon as he had cleared the entryway, opening up into a larger hallway that he could stand in. The darkness was unusually welcoming, a strange moment of calm washing over him despite the screams that reached his ears with his returning hearing. After taking a moment to gather his thoughts, he discarded his heavy jacket and vest, undoing several buttons on his shirt. He was still unbearably hot, the clothes terribly stiff, but it was an improvement. He slipped a hand into his pocket pulling out a small glass vial and giving it a few shakes, the hallway lighting up in an eerie green color. He knew exactly where to go, the treasure room was the safest, but if this was a pirate attack it was better to avoid it completely. If he made his way to the dungeons it would put him on the path back to Old Corona, he could warn the people from there. He just needed this to go off without a hitch. 

********************* 

Hugo smiled widely, blood coating his sword as he slit the throat of another noble. They collapsed to the ground with a satisfying thump. Hugo stepped around them digging around in their pockets and stripping them of their gold. He quickly pocketed a golden bracelet the man had around his wrist, he’d be keeping it for himself. The mission was too easy. While Donella and the main crew distracted the rest of Corona, him and his much smaller crew would take every last piece of treasure they could find, meeting back up in Equis. He walked around the treasure room, crown on his head as the rest of his crew worked, occasionally disposing of anyone who got too close. He tossed a coin against the far wall, watching as it joined the others in their pile, what he hadn’t expected was a small passageway to open. His smile grew wider. There was bound to be a better treasure lying on the other side. He tossed the crown into the pile, sauntering over to the new opening. “I’ll be back boys, don’t cause too much trouble.” 

With some difficulty he forced himself inside, letting out a slight huff when he was finally able to stand again. His smile returned when he spotted a soft green light in the distance. It seemed he had been right in his assumption that the passageway would lead him to a greater treasure. He followed the light like a moth to the flame, sword at the ready incase he ran into any unwanted trouble. It didn’t take him long to find the source of the light, the young man turning to face him as soon as he heard his steps. He opened his mouth, most likely to scream, but Hugo was on him in a second, clamping his hand over his mouth, sword against his throat as he slammed him into the wall. “Scream and I slit your throat.” 

It was more of a warning than anything, he fully intended to kill the other then and there, but the light from the vial in his hand glinted off the golden bracelet on his wrist. Hugo tilted his head, how had he not seen that before. It looked somewhat familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it, he had seen his fair share of jewelry in his days. He removed his hand from the other’s mouth, expertly undoing the bracelet. A single sapphire lay in the center of it, perhaps if the lighting had been better he’d have realized how wonderfully it matched his eyes. It wasn’t the stone that caught his eye, instead it was the small Coronan seal embedded in the gold. Oh, this was too good, the boy was a Coronan noble, he knew for a fact that King Trevor was in the market for one. He smiled widely once again, it seemed he had found something greater than any gold. 

“Give it back.” Hugo’s eyes snapped up to his captive, his face worked into a scowl, his nose scrunched up in anger. Even in the dim lighting, Hugo could tell he was beautiful, he couldn’t wait to get him into the sunlight and take in all those lovely features. 

Hugo quickly pocketed the bracelet. “Sorry, hon, it’s mine now.” He laughed at the other’s offended look. “Oh, you didn’t think I was going to give it back did you?” 

His scowl dropped, a smirk replacing it. “No, but a distraction is a distraction.” He gave a little shrug of his shoulders, before smashing the vial against Hugo’s head. It wasn’t particularly painful, but it did catch him off guard enough that he stumbled back, clutching his head. He cursed under his breath as the other took off down the hall. Hugo quickly took off after him, once he was close enough he swiped his sword at his legs. He smirked as the other toppled, hand clutching his right leg. Hugo paid him little mind, it wasn’t a deep cut, just enough to stun him. He dug a hand into his pocket pulling out a handful of sleeping powder. “Stay away from me!” 

Hugo laughed, dropping his sword on the ground. “You're funny. Just stay still and I won’t have to hurt you again.” 

“Wha-“ He blew the powder into his face, careful not to inhale any. He watched as his eyes rolled back into his head, taking a moment for himself to take in the boy’s features. The lines of his face were sharp, although they still held some baby fat, it was hard to gauge much else, but what he saw was already promising. He was already prepared for the earful he’d get from Nuru, they were supposed to be getting gold only, but Hugo saw a better opportunity and took it. Now he just faced the problem of getting him out of here. 


	2. Win-Win

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! It’s me ya girl!!! Remember that thing about an update schedule? Yeah me neither!! Anyways here’s a new chapter!! Also go check out @tennzai on tumblr!! They made some super awesome art in general honestly, but also of a scene from this chappie!!! Enjoy!!!

“You can’t be serious.” Nuru hissed, arms crossed over her chest as Hugo set the boy down next to the center mast on their ship. Hugo rolled his eyes, grabbing a spare rope. “Don said no hostages.” 

“I know what she said, but she’ll be thanking me when we sell him to Trevor.” He frowned when he tried to prop him up, only for him to fall back onto his side. “Hold him up, would you?” 

“You cannot sell him to that slim ball.” Hugo didn’t respond, instead he tapped his bottom lip, trying to figure out how to tie him up since Nuru obviously wasn’t helping. She stepped in front of him, creating a barrier between him and his captive. “Hey, idiot, are you listening to me?” 

“I’m listening. I just don’t care.” Hugo took a step to the side only to be stopped by Nuru again. Now he was just getting annoyed. “He’s nobility, what do you care?” 

Nuru took a step forward, a menacing scowl on her face, her yellow eyes practically glowing in their fury. He knew he was screwed as soon as the words left his mouth. He held his hands in front of himself as a last ditch attempt at peace, taking a step back as she moved forward. “Nuru, I didn’t mean it. It’s just his kind of nobility-“ 

Lighting cracked in the sky, clouds starting to block out the sun, it only added to Nuru’s menacing look. “His kind of nobility? I was his kind of nobility, Hugo!” She was jabbing him in the chest now, forcing him to step back as she moved forward. “I was a fucking princess until you and your crew came! You saved me from Don’s wrath! You said I shouldn’t be judged for the sins of my people! You gave me a second chance, despite my status, and now you want to throw him to the wolves just because of his. Well, I’m not letting you.” 

This time Hugo took a step forward, an eyebrow raised in a challenging nature. “That’s not for you to decide.” They were face to face, mere inches from each other, as Hugo stared down at her. Despite Nuru being one of his crew that he valued the most, they often clashed, their morals varying widely. 

“Maybe not, but maybe next time you get your ass into trouble I’ll decide not to save it.” Nuru sneered, turning her nose up as she made her way back to the mast. Hugo huffed, trailing behind her, as she grabbed the rope. “Hold him up will you?” 

Hugo did as he was told, nudging her lightly. “Thanks.” He spoke the word lowly enough for only Nuru to hear, he couldn’t have the rest of his crew thinking he’d gone soft, but it was as close to a truce as he and Nuru got. 

“I’m still against this. Just consider something else, please.” Nuru stood, satisfied with her work on the rope, he wouldn’t be going anywhere soon. Before he could say anything else on the matter she was gone, headed back up the deck to get behind the wheel. 

Hugo stood, casting a sideways glance at his captive, his lips slightly parted as he slept. He intended to take a closer look, the weather having other plans as raindrops started to fall onto the deck. “Alright boys! Let’s move out!” Hugo joined Nuru at the wheel, letting the rain hit his face as they worked to pull out of the dock. He smiled into the rain as he watched the gold disappear below deck. It was going to be a peaceful journey to Equis, until their hostage woke up. 

Hugo let the rain mix with the salty air of the sea, the feeling intoxicating against his skin. The raid on Corona had been more than successful, they had come back with more bounty than he could be bothered to count. It was wonderful, or at least it should be if their hostage wasn’t so annoying. 

“Hey, jackass! I know you can hear me! Let me go right this fucking minute!” Hugo rolled his eyes, handing the wheel over to Nuru before approaching the mast that their captive was tied to. He was a pretty thing, if it weren’t for that mouth he had on him, still he knew he’d fetch them a pretty penny at the auctions, that was if he didn’t decide to sell him to Trevor instead. He was still on the fence about that. 

“I don’t think you're in the position to make demands.” Hugo placed his dagger under his chin, bending down so they were face to face. His breath caught in his throat, he hadn’t seen him this close before, not with the dim lighting of the passageway and his conversation with Nuru taking precedence over his thoughts. The blue of his eyes was absolutely breathtaking, the fire that burned behind them, the way his freckles accentuated them, the way his front teeth stuck out ever so slightly, and that wonderfully unique blue streak in his hair. Yes, he’d definitely fetch them a nice amount of gold, but then again he just might keep him for himself. “My, you are pretty aren’t you?” 

“And your pretty fucking annoying.” He snapped back, eyes narrowing in a way that made them sharper than the dagger at his throat. 

Hugo tilted his head, a laugh bubbling up from between his lips. “You’re pretty feisty for nobility. You got a name, sweet cheeks?” 

“Fuck you.” He spat in Hugo’s face, the other clicking his tongue as he wiped it from his face. Oh, he’d definitely be keeping him, Trevor be damned. 

Hugo pushed himself to his feet, dragging the dagger up forcing him to follow his movements. “Have fun sleeping in the rain, dear. Maybe you’ll be more cooperative in the morning.” 

“You can’t leave me out here!” Hugo smirked as he made his way to the warmth of the captain’s chambers. “Hey!” He ignored his screams and slew of curses as he twirled a gold coin between his fingers. In just a week's time they’d be in Equis, he had until then to decide what he truly wanted to do with the boy. Maybe he could convince him to join the crew, sure he’d be reluctant at first, but Hugo could convince him in more ways than one. And if he couldn't, well then he’d be Trevor’s, it was a win-win in Hugo’s eyes, he just hoped when they met up Donella would feel the same.   
  


***************


	3. Think about what you’ve done, think about what you deserve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update schedule? Don’t know her.

Varian leaned his head against the mast. He had given up trying to get any of these god forsaken pirates to listen to him hours ago. The events of the day leaving him rather exhausted, as much as he wanted to sleep his mind was on high alert, shivering from his rain soaked clothes, the cool night air not helping in the slightest. His leg throbbed from where it had been cut, his body was unbearably stiff from being forced to sit up, his head was still fuzzy from whatever it was that had been used to knock him out, and his throat was sore from all the yelling he had done. It was shaping up to be a hell of a night, at least most of the pirates left him alone, only the occasional sneer when they were passing by. Now it was just him and his thoughts. Most of the crew had turned in for the night, leaving him alone with just the girl at the wheel. Maybe he’d have better luck appealing to her now that she was alone. 

“Hey.” He called, cringing as his voice cracked and he tried to get into a more comfortable position. It was near impossible, the ropes tied tightly around him, he could barely move. He was absolutely miserable, almost even missing the stuffy atmosphere of the throne room. He wondered what happened to his dad, was he worried? Was he looking for him? He doubted it. He wondered if anyone was looking for him, anyone at all. Maybe it was best to stop fighting, resign himself to whatever horrible fate the pirate captain had in store for him. He was Corona’s biggest disappointment, there was no way they’d waste resources on finding him. But then again if he escaped and returned home on his own, maybe he’d finally be accepted, maybe he’d have finally proved his worth. His eyes narrowed in determination, mind made up on the matter. He was getting out of here one way or another. “Hey!” 

It was louder this time, more confident. He could tell that she heard him by the way she stiffened ever so slightly. “That’s not going to work.” Her voice was soft, but it held a weight of authority that few others had. 

Still he couldn’t help but turn up his nose slightly, trying to look as confident and in control as possible. “What’s not going to work?” 

She scoffed, shaking her head as she cast him a glance. “Whatever half-assed, hairbrained scheme you’ve got working up in that head of yours.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Varian huffed. There’s no way she could possibly know that he was already working out various escape routes and diversions for when they finally docked. And they most certainly weren’t half-assed. 

“Oh, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Everyone tries to escape at some point. It’s only natural, honestly I’d be more concerned if you didn’t. Just know regardless of what happens, your life will never be the same.” From the small amount of her face that he could see, she almost looked sad, her voice carrying an almost foreboding tone to it as she spoke those last words. 

“Maybe that’s a good thing.” He didn’t see her concerned glance as he let his head fall against his chest, his damp hair falling into his eyes. The girl was right, nothing would ever be the same. But he didn’t want it to be. He wanted to be accepted, cherished, he wanted to be  _ loved _ , was that too much to ask? His shoulders shook, the reality of his situation hitting full force. This was it, wasn’t it? He was being marched off to his death, or worse, and there was nothing he could do about it. He bit into his lip, trying to save some form of dignity, he wouldn’t cry here, he refused. He didn’t want to think about Corona, it wasn’t home, was it? He didn’t want to think about where he was headed, where he was, what the future had in store. He didn’t want to think about the past, how nothing he did seemed good enough, how he was nothing more than a mistake. He just wanted to disappear, fade away as if he had never existed. 

His emotions swirled together pulling him every which way like the raging sea that pushed him towards his fate. Before he could stop them tears rolled down his cheeks, mixing with whatever dirt and grime had gathered there. Images flashed in front of his eyes, he squeezed them shut tight, refusing to let them take form, he didn’t need that, not right now. It was too much, it was all too much. 

“Hey.” Varian flinched at the girl’s voice, it was too close, too loud. Reluctantly, he raised his head to look at her, anything was better than the shit show that was going on in his mind. She was too close, knelt down in front of him, nothing but concern in her yellow eyes, her eyebrows knitted together, a small frown on her lips. “Are you okay?” 

He turned his face away. It was a dumb question, they both knew he wasn’t, it was just a sad attempt at making him feel better. “I don’t need your pity.” 

“I know you don’t.” He watched as she settled against the mast, picking at the hem of her shirt. “Tell me, do you miss it? Feeling like you’ll never belong? Like you’ll never live up to their impossible standards? The pressure? Did you ever think that maybe there’s something wrong with you? Because that’s how I felt. Everyday I spent in that god forsaken world felt like I was losing just a little bit more of me. You feel the same, I can see it in your eyes.” She laughed, but it held no mirth. “You might be more broken than I was. What did they do to you?” 

How could she possibly know any of that? How could she even dare insinuate that she knew what he went through? What he was going through? What he would endure when he got back? How could she say he was broken? He wasn’t,  _ he wasn’t. _ “I’m not broken.  _ They _ didn’t do anything. You don’t know anything.” He sneered, although it still sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of the words. 

She scoffed, rising from her seat. “You’re right. How could _ I  _ possibly know anything? Piece of advice, don’t let the crew see you like this. They won’t have pity.” 

Varian played the conversation over in his head, eyes fixated on the rising sun in the distance. His head was spinning, he could no longer tell if it was from the conversation, what drug had been used, dehydration, or the fact that he hadn’t really eaten anything since the night before the coronation. He supposed it didn’t really matter, he was stuck here either way. No longer able to fight his exhaustion he let his eyes slip closed as the sun peeked over the horizon, bringing with it a new day and a new crushed hope. 


	4. Heavy is the crown, Heavy is the title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop my hand slipped! Slight warning I guess? There’s a non consensual ass grab that about it!! Enjoy!!

This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen, this wasn’t how she imagined it. The sun was streaming through the gaping hole in the wall. Normally, she’d take the sunlight as a sign of hope, but today it was tainted with the horrors of the night and what could have been. She kneeled before her mother, head bowed as the sword rested on her shoulder, her fiancé at their side, and the royal advisor next to the queen. She let her tears fall to the debris on the ground, darkening the floor. 

“Do you, Rapunzel Amelia Grimm, swear to protect Corona and her people?” She lifted her head, letting her green eyes bore into her mother’s matching ones. 

“I swear it.” She didn’t mind the anger behind her words, the fierce conviction that threatened to end those that had dare hurt her kingdom. 

“Do you swear to fight for the good in the world? To uphold Corona’s beliefs in everything you do?” 

“I swear it.” For her people, for her kingdom, she’d bring those wretched pirates to justice. 

“Do you swear on your life to take these oaths to the grave?” She followed her mother’s glance, their eyes lingering on the corpse of her father, the dead king. 

“I swear it.” She spoke the words for her fallen father, her fallen kingdom, all of her fallen people, for everything they lost, for everything they had yet to gain. She would protect Corona to her last dying breath, she would have no mercy. 

“Then, I crown thee Queen Rapunzel of Corona.” She took the sword that was handed to her, standing as the crown was placed on her head. Her eyes narrowed in determination as she glanced out at the destroyed throne room. She could name every last corpse that had been lined up. They were her friends, her family, she wouldn’t let this go without punishment, she’d avenge them, every last one. 

“Long live the Queen. Long live the Queen.” 

***********************

Hugo tapped his fingers against his desk. This was concerning, hell it was more than concerning, if Donella’s letter was anything to go by they wouldn’t be able to dock in Equis, at least not anytime soon, which messed up all of his plans. 

“I told you a hostage was a bad idea, but did you listen to me? No! Why would you? You never do!” Nuru paced the length of his quarters frantically, frustration evident on her face, not that he could blame her. 

He rolled his eyes, glancing out the window to where the boy was sound asleep, a smile crept onto his lips. Guess that meant he’d get to keep him after all. Sure he wouldn’t get to do anything with all the lovely gold he’d acquired, but he could live with it if he could convince the little spitfire to join his crew. “Bring him here.” 

Nuru stopped suddenly, turning to face him, and slamming her hands down on his desk. “Are you crazy? We need to dump him at the first place we can. You’ve put a giant target on our backs and it’s only a matter of time before we’re hit.” 

Hugo waved off her concern, propping his feet on his desk. “Are you questioning my judgement?” 

Nuru narrowed her eyes slightly, giving a light shrug of her shoulders. “When am I not? You're a goddamn idiot. I love you, but you’re a fucking idiot.” 

“Love you too.” Hugo said with a smug look and a wink as Nuru exited the room. He resumed tapping his fingers on his desk, shoving the note Donella sent into the drawer of his desk. He’d pen a response later, for the moment he had a good impression to make. 

*********************

Varian jolted awake as water was dumped over his head, sending his mind reeling for a second as he regained his bearings. The sun wasn’t much higher than it had been when he fell asleep, meaning he only realistically got a few hours of sleep, great. The girl from last night was standing in front of him, bucket resting on her hip, behind her stood a much taller, much larger pirate. 

“Captain wants to speak with you.” The girl said, leaning forward and undoing the rope. He wanted to run, to try and escape, but he knew there was nowhere to go, they were in the middle of the fucking ocean. It’s not like he knew how to swim either, he was stuck. He didn’t really get a chance anyways, the larger pirate yanking him roughly to his feet. He tripped over his feet as they regained feeling, trying desperately to balance himself as the ship swayed with the waves. It was impossible when he was being dragged around like a misbehaving child, the rest of the crew jeering as he was marched forward, some going as far as to spit at him. 

“Not so high and mighty now are ya?” 

“Look at the little noble slut.” 

“Another plaything for the captain.” 

“Wonder how long this one will last.” 

Varian held his head high through it all, well as high as he could. He had dealt with this his whole life, insults constantly being thrown his way, in one way or another. He knew how to stand his ground, he knew not to let them know how much it bothered him. 

“Make sure to scream, the captain likes ‘em noisy.” 

“Maybe once he’s done he’ll let us have a turn.” Varian’s eyes went wide when a hand grabbed his ass. He quickly yanked his arm out of the pirates grasp, turning as fast as he could and hitting the pirate square in the jaw. The pirate stumbled but didn’t fall, laughing as he massaged his jaw. 

Varian fully intended to hit him again, but he was lifted into the air by the same pirate that had been holding him before. “Touch me again and see what happens, you son of a bitch!” His arms were pinned to his sides, but it didn’t stop him from kicking his legs as the other approached him again. 

It did him no good, the pirate harshly grabbing Varian’s face, despite his thrashing. He leaned in close enough that Varian could smell his rum soaked breath, his nose wrinkling in disgust. “I can do whatever I damn well please.” 

“Andrew, step back, _now_.” The girl sneered, pushing Andrew back slightly. 

“I don’t take orders from you, Nuru.” Andrew snapped back, using his free hand to grab her wrist. Varian took the opportunity to lift his legs, kicking Andrew as hard as he could, granted it wasn’t very hard but it was enough to get him to let go of the both of them, the crowd cheering. His eyes met Nuru’s as she sent him a small nod of thanks. The victory was short lived, Andrew quickly bouncing back, landing his own punch to Varian’s cheek. His world spun as his head snapped to the side, the cheering of the crowd almost deafening in his ears. 

He flinched as a gunshot went off. “That’s enough, Andrew. This is not how we treat our guests. Apologize.” He could tell by the voice alone that it was the captain, his voice just as smug as it had been before. 

“You can’t be serious, the little bastard hit me first.” Andrew protested, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I’m dead serious.” The captain leveled the gun to Andrew’s chest, the sunlight glinting off his glasses. 

They locked gazes for a moment, the crowd now hushed as they awaited a response. Varian found himself entranced as well, eyes darting between the two as they fought silently for dominance. After a heart stopping moment, Andrew broke, rolling his eyes with a huff as he turned to Varian. “I’m sorry.” The words sounded anything but sincere, still it seemed to satisfy the captain as he placed his gun back in its holster. 

He patted Andrew’s cheek as he turned back around, heading back towards his quarter’s. “See that wasn’t so hard. Everyone back to work. Cyrus, let him down, he can walk.” 

Varian stumbled, arms flailing as he fought to find his balance again. He almost fell when a hand reached out and caught him, a thank you lingered on the tip of his tongue, eyes narrowing when they met his savior’s. Andrew’s voice was terribly close again. “Be careful, I _will_ make your life a living hell.” 

Varian didn’t get to respond, Andrew disappearing into the dispersing crowd. “Are you going to keep me waiting all day, dear?” His eyes snapped to where the captain was waiting in the doorway of his quarters. He grit his teeth, as much as he hated it the smug captain was the lesser of the two evils at the moment. Reluctantly he made his way towards the door, oblivious to the eyes that watched his every move. 

“I think it’s time for a change in command, what do you say, boys?”   
  


*********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAA this time art by the lovely ace! They are also hella amazing and talented!


	5. Question Your Decisions, Are They Right or Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we get some hints dropped about Var’s past and a surprise visitor!! Enjoy!!

“How many dead?” Rapunzel asked, pacing around the throne room, one hand tugging at her short brown hair. 

“We are still gathering that information, your majesty. There is one particular item of business that requires your immediate attention.” She turned on her heel, eyes burning with fury, as she stalked towards her advisor. 

“And you think the well being of my people doesn’t? Don’t their families deserve to know if their loved ones will be returning home tonight? Isn’t that something you’d like to know, Nigel?” She knew her tone was biting, but she didn’t care. Sure she had been queen for less than a few hours, but she hated how he still skirted around her as if she were still a child. 

“Yes, your majesty, but this is of utmost importance. Old Corona is now without a leader.” Nigel explained, Rapunzel immediately stopping her forward march, her hand falling uselessly to her side. 

“What of Quirin?” She dreaded the answer. 

“Amongst the dead.” 

“Varian?” She couldn’t help the slight crack of her voice at the name, her eyes filling with tears. 

“Amongst the missing.” This time she ran a hand through her hair, letting out a frustrated sigh. That was certainly not good. “What if he’s with the pirates? Do you think they know what he’s capable of?” 

Rapunzel’s eyes went wide, she hadn’t thought of that, but there was no way they could know anything, there was no way. “They can’t. It was kept under lock and key. Most Coronans don’t even know what happened. It’s impossible.” 

“But what if they do? The boy is dangerous. We can’t risk him turning on us.” Rapunzel was pacing again, he was right, as much as she hated to admit it, Varian was a wildcard, and one they couldn’t afford to have against them. But he was also a friend, her friend, her best friend. They had practically grown up together, him being the closest thing to royalty within visiting distance.

She took a deep breath, letting the tears roll down her cheeks, her crown weighing heavily on her head. “Send Eugene to run Old Corona until we can find a suitable replacement. Have Cassandra lead a platoon to go after the pirates. I want the best of the best on that ship.” 

“And the boy?” 

She squeezed her eyes shut tight, letting the breeze that shouldn’t be there ruffle her hair, it almost tasted like the sea, the salt of her tears only increasing the sensation. She hated the words as they tumbled past her lips, sealing his fate, her first formal command, dooming one of her only real friends. “Bring him back, dead or alive.” 

********************

Varian closed the door behind him, not moving from his position in front of it, watching closely as the captain settled himself behind his desk, an array of food spread out in front of him. He smiled widely as he popped a few grapes into his mouth, before grabbing another handful. 

“Aren’t you hungry? I’ve got a lovely spread here, something’s gotta peak your interest.” Varian narrowed his eyes at the captain, still not moving from the door. 

“I’m not hungry.” His stomach said otherwise, a loud growl echoing through the quiet room. 

The captain laughed then, standing from his seat and making his way towards him. This time Varian moved, stepping away from the door, keeping a reasonable distance between himself and the captain. He stopped tilting his head slightly as he observed Varian, eyes lighting up once he found whatever he had been looking for. “Oh, I see what’s going on here. You don’t feel safe. Was my crew not welcoming enough? Were they too rough with you? I know they're a little rough around the edges, but you’ll warm up to them.” 

“Warm up to them?! I don’t want to get used to them! I want to go home!” Varian yelled, marching forward before he could stop himself, fists clenched at his sides. 

The captain clicked his tongue. “You’re not still mad about that, are you? No matter, you’re stuck here one way or another, I was just trying to be nice. So, you can accept my generous offer or you can go out there and I’ll let them have their way with you. Your choice.” 

Varian floundered, struggling for once in his life to find words. He couldn’t be serious could he? Going back out there was definitely not an option, but staying in here? That was absolutely ridiculous. He didn’t know what waited for him if he stayed with the captain, outside he knew his fate would be less than pleasant. 

“Tick tock, hon, I’ve got things to do.” Varian eyed him wearily, trying to come to a decision. He couldn’t get a read on him and it was driving him insane. Curiosity had and always would be his downfall, so he sat in one of the chairs across from the captain’s, grabbing an apple off a platter. The captain smiled, making his way back around to his chair. “Smart choice. Now, do you want to tell me your name, or should I just call you doll?” 

“Maybe you should tell me your name, or should I just call you jackass?” Varian shot back, taking a bite of the apple, and goddamn an apple never tasted so good. 

“Fair enough.” The captain laughed, pushing his glasses up. “The name’s Hugo, the pleasures all yours.” 

Varian wrinkled his nose in disgust, still it was rude not to respond when one gave their name. “Varian.” He said simply, offering his hand for a shake out of habit. He quickly moved to take it back, but Hugo had already captured it. 

“Varian, an honor to finally be properly introduced.” His ears burned as Hugo pressed his lips to the back of his hand. Hugo may be annoying as hell, but he wasn’t blind. The pirate captain was beautiful. He was cleaner than most of the pirates in his crew, his green eyes sparkling with a certain kind of intelligence that Varian was absolutely drawn to, the sharp lines of his face just as sharp as his wit. He was beautiful, Varian knew he was, _he_ knew he was, and he sure knew the effect he was having on him. Hugo’s eyes bore into his, Varian’s face heating up as the kiss went longer than it should have, than he should have allowed, until he roughly pulled his hand away. He turned away, his face as red as the apple in his hand, suddenly no longer hungry as his stomach flipped, the swaying of the ship not helping in the slightest. 

“So, what’s your plan here? Ransom? I can already tell you, Corona won’t pay a single piece of gold for my return.” He tried not to think of the hurt the words caused, the sting worse than the prickling needles that still ran through his cheek where he’d been hit. Rapunzel was probably the only one that would vouch for him, even then he was grasping at straws. She was a great friend when she was _just_ Rapunzel, now _Princess_ Rapunzel was a different story, he didn’t like her. 

“Oh, no. We took Corona for all she’s worth.” Hugo chuckled, smiling widely as he leaned forward, eyes sparkling with delight, challenging him to figure out his plan. 

Varian’s lips turned upward just the slightest bit, he loved a good challenge. Varian stood, making his way around the room, stopping in front of a map tacked to the wall, his eyes drifting down to the small letter opener on the thin table pushed against the wall. He could feel Hugo’s eyes on him, watching him closely like a lion stalking its prey. He would only have one chance at this, hopefully it would buy him enough time to steal a rowboat or something to escape. If the ship's blueprints were anything to go by there was one not too far from the captain’s chambers. He just needed to play the part a little longer, keep him distracted. His fingers brushed the gold handle, glancing over his shoulder at Hugo. He was grabbing some more grapes, Varian gripping the letter opener and placing it flush against his arm in hopes the other couldn’t see it. “Equis, then? It’s the closest port to Corona, and I know Trevor will have no qualms about taking the gold. But it still doesn’t explain why I’m here.” 

Hugo was crossing the room, that smug look still on his face. “Curious little thing, aren’t you?” 

Varian rolled his eyes, turning to face Hugo. “I’d assume most people would be curious about their fate.” 

“You’d be wrong.” Varian quirked an eyebrow at that. If the other pirates were to be believed he was hardly the first person to be brought on board. Had the other’s not questioned him? What happened to the other’s anyway? He shuddered at the possibilities. “Most just scream and cry and beg for their lives. And yet all you’ve done is make demands, berate my crew, and ask questions. What makes you so different?” 

Varian tried not to make a face as Hugo ran his finger down his cheek, gently hooking it underneath his chin, and lifting it up, his other hand next to his gripping the table. It was a far cry from the rough encounter he had with Andrew, it didn’t make him anymore comfortable, but he had to pretend to be for this to work. He leaned forward, placing the hand that wasn’t holding his impromptu weapon on Hugo’s chest. He felt awkward as hell, never having really flirted before, preferring to spend his time either in the fields or his lab, thankfully his father had yet to bring up the topic of marriage. It seemed to be the right thing, Hugo’s smiling wider and bringing a hand to Varian’s hip. “I could say the same about you. You're definitely not an average pirate.” 

“Oh, and you have so much experience with pirates?” Hugo teased, guiding him closer. 

He let himself be pulled closer, the gap between them almost nonexistent, their lips mere centimeters from each other. “Just legends, stories, warnings,” He brought the letter opener up, slamming it into Hugo’s shoulder before pulling it back out, and pushing Hugo away. He didn’t stick around to see the other’s reaction, his yelp of pain was more than enough, instead he bolted for the door, wasting no time in swinging it open. The sun was almost blinding, it’s harsh glare burning his face. He didn’t let it bother him, bringing his hand up to block it, eyes scanning the ship for the point he’d seen on the blueprints. It didn’t take him long, running to the side of the ship. The rowboat was a ways down, but he didn’t have much of a choice. 

“Don’t just stand there, you idiots! Stop him!” Hugo shouted, his hand clutching his bloody shoulder, and he did not look happy. Varian wasted no time, launching himself over the side of the ship. He landed with a thud, the shock sending unpleasant waves up his legs, he fell to his knees, pushing himself to his feet as quickly as possible. His heart was pounding in his chest as he brought the letter opener up to cut through the ropes. His hands were shaking, this had to work, it had to. He yelped as a gunshot went off, slicing through the rope and ringing in his ears. The rowboat tipped, Varian barely grabbing the edge of it before he went tumbling into the sea. 

“We need him alive! Don’t kill him!” Nuru yelled, he assumed at whoever shot at him. He pulled himself back into the boat, climbing to the other end of the small boat, getting to work on the other rope. He startled when the boat started moving, a few of the crew working to pull up the boat. 

“Shit.” Varian cursed under his breath, his hand shaking worse than before. His own shaking coupled with the jerking motion of the boat causing him to drop the letter opener. He helplessly watched it plummet into the ocean. His heart sank with it. His mind working a mile a minute as he thought of another way to cut the rope, while his fingers worked to untie the knot. He fumbled with it, his time quickly running out as he was pulled back towards the ship. Finally by some miracle the knot came undone, barely giving him time to grab the edges of the rowboat as he plummeted towards the water. It hit the water, taking on a bit of it, but not nearly enough to sink it. 

Varian smiled, laughing to himself as he grabbed the oars, saluting to Hugo as he peered over the edge of the ship. His victory was short lived, a shadow looming over him. He swallowed thickly, smile slipping off his face as he looked behind him. The ship was larger than any he’d seen, an older woman with her white hair tied back into a braid, looking over the edge. She was every bit the menacing pirate he’d heard about in stories. And he was every bit screwed to hell.   
  


********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art from this chapter by the lovely jjgg art! Find them on insta they are amazing!


	6. Let the Guilt Drown You, Let the Past Consume You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Donella is a sassy bitch, Hugo gets his ass chewed out, and var has some problems of his own! Enjoy!!!!

He had fucked up, he had fucked up big time. His shoulder still throbbed from where the letter opener had unceremoniously torn apart his flesh. And yet it was the least of his worries. Donella was pacing the length of her quarters, Hugo looking anywhere but at her. She was so far beyond pissed he was genuinely starting to fear for his life. 

“I give you one _fucking_ job, one job, and somehow you still manage to screw it up! What part of _no hostages_ didn’t you understand?!” Hugo didn’t answer, he didn’t know if he should. She wouldn’t be satisfied with any answer he gave. Plus, he was almost one hundred percent sure it was a rhetorical question. “ _Answer me boy_.” 

Well, goddamn, today was not his day. “I thought-“ 

“That’s right, _you thought!_ I don’t want you to think, I want you to do as you're told! I gave you a crew, because you insisted you were ready. But now I see you’re still that helpless _child_ that stowed away on my ship.” Donella was fuming, but he knew better than to interrupt her, no matter how much he hated being called a child. “And now your little plaything is out on that little rowboat trying to fend off my crew with _a fucking paddle_. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t put a bullet through his pretty little skull?” 

“He’s a Coronan noble, to do so would-“ 

“So we’re half the people that were slain. Try again.” Hugo grit his teeth together. He hated how she berated him, like he wasn’t capable of making a decision. 

“We can sell him at the auctions.” She raised an eyebrow at that. The possibility obviously peaking her interest. “Maybe King Trevor will buy him. I heard he’s in the market for a new Coronan slave.” 

“Now, that’s an idea. But tell me, _boy,_ how do you plan to fend of all of _fucking Corona_ now that you’ve put a target on our backs!” Hugo winced, maybe he should listen to Nuru more often. They were essentially sitting ducks out on the water as they waited until they’d be able to dock at Equis. Any other close ports being Coronan allies. Donella placed her hand on his shoulder, fingers digging into the newly acquired wound. He didn’t flinch, didn’t react no matter how bad he wanted to, if he did it would only be worse. “Here.” 

He took the gun in his hands, turning it over as Donella watched him, her eyes piercing. “What do you want me to do with it?” 

“Use that big brain of yours and _think._ ” She let go of him, moving back to her desk and leaning on it. She watched him closely, waiting for him to make the next move. 

He knew she was baiting him, waiting for him to offer an idea only to shoot it down. He was already in deep shit, so he swallowed his pride, gritting his teeth as he looked her in the eyes. His own burned with resistance, but his words spoke differently. “I will do whatever you ask, _Captain._ ” The word tasted foul on his tongue. Even though he knew his distaste was obvious, he hoped she’d let it slide. They had more pressing matters anyways. 

Donella clicked her tongue in annoyance, but smiled nonetheless. “Good boy. Now go clean up your mess.” 

“You want me to kill him?” He’d certainly killed before, for some reason the notion of killing Varian sent his stomach turning. The boy had a certain spark he really didn’t want to snuff out. He was smart, cunning, he knew weaknesses and how to exploit them. He was the complete opposite of any noble he’d met. Even Nuru hadn’t been like that. Sure she had the potential, but it took time to get it out of her. Even now she was reluctant to do some of the more dirty work, but she was a hell of a navigator. Now Varian, there was something about him that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, and he certainly didn’t want to kill him before he found out what it was. 

Donella laughed, it was somehow worse than any of her biting words. “No, you idiot, I want you to incapacitate him. We’re going to fend off Corona until the gold and the boy are sold. Once he’s in Trevor’s hands there’s nothing they can do without starting a full out war. You make sure he gets there and we get our money’s worth. That _thing_ has been more trouble than it’s worth, I want him out of here as soon as possible, do not fail me.” 

“But-“ 

“ _Do not fail me._ This is your last chance. If you mess up the next bullet will be in _your_ head.” Donella sat back behind her desk, waving her hand to signal him to leave. He was fuming now, more so than when Varian had stabbed him, then at least it had been creative, he had been a fool for thinking he’d change his mind so quickly. That was a mistake he’d own, but this, this was pushing it. Sure he’d been a bit self serving recently, that didn’t mean he deserved this kind of punishment. Donella had made him a captain, and for what? To berate him at every turn, to question his judgement? He was sick of it. He had half a mind to just keep the gold, keep Varian, and leave Donella in the dust. He could do it, _he could_ , but he couldn’t. Not when she had been the only one to give him a chance. Without her he wouldn’t even be here. 

The gun weighed heavily in his hand. He didn’t understand why he was so hesitant to comply with Donella's wishes. He didn’t really know Varian, and yet he was inexplicably drawn to him. Something about him just pulled him to the other. He was curious about him, he _wanted_ him, he just couldn’t sacrifice everything he’d built with Donella for him, not now, _not ever._ He took a deep breath, steeling his nerves as he made his way out onto the dock. True to her word, Varian was still in the little rowboat, paddle in hand, swinging it at any pirate that got too close. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat, his cheeks flushed pink, all in all he looked like he might pass out at any moment. This would be easy, at least it should be, for some reason he felt off about this, it was confusing as hell and he didn’t understand why it was happening. 

Hugo made his way down, using a rope to get into one of the nearby rowboats. He could see Varian shaking, his eyes wild as he struggled to stay upright, he looked like a gust of wind might knock him over. He was a far cry from the confident man he’d seen in his chambers. He couldn’t blame him really, it must’ve been hell to keep the few pirates that were trying to detain him at bay with nothing but a paddle. He’d obviously held his own, as none of the pirates had succeeded, one even holding his head as a sizable bump was already visible on the surface. He couldn’t help the smirk that worked its way onto his face as he stepped into Varian’s boat, the other immediately pointing the paddle at him, he certainly knew how to pick them. 

_“Stay the fuck away from me!”_ Varian swung the paddle, Hugo narrowly avoiding it. 

“So, what’s your plan here?” Hugo’s smirk widened as Varian’s eyes narrowed at his own words being used against him. “You escape and then what? You don’t know where you are, you don’t have food or water. Do you even know how to navigate? Do you really think you could outrun a _ship?_ Just come back onboard and I’ll let this little incident slide.” 

“Oh, how fucking _generous_ of you. Why don’t you let me go, and I’ll get Corona off your backs?” Varian snarled, swinging the paddle again. 

Hugo dodged once again, the small boat rocking dangerously. It was a tempting offer, but it wasn’t what he was told to do and he was on thin ice already. He was getting really tired of this, his patience wasn’t the greatest to begin with and Donella had already worn it thin. “You’re really starting to piss me off. I’m trying to make this easy on you, but you have to be so _goddamn difficult.”_

“Really?! If you wou-“ 

A gunshot cut off his words. Varian dropped the paddle, eyes blown wide with pain as a scream tore from his lips. Hugo lowered the gun, frowning as he watched Varian clutched his thigh, blood flowing freely from it. Something akin to guilt wormed its way into his chest when Varian collapsed to his knees, his face scrunched up in pain, to his credit he didn’t scream again. Hugo knew from experience how terrible a gunshot wound could be, and the distance he’d been shot at certainly didn’t help matters. At least the bullet made a clean exit. He stalked forward, forcing Varian to his feet before throwing him into the other rowboat. He sneered down at him, taking all his anger at Donella out on the boy. “I really didn’t want to do that, but you forced my hand. Consider us even.” 

“ _I hate you. You fucking bastard!”_ Hugo rolled his eyes at the words, he’d heard worse. He gave a tug on the rope waiting for the crew to pull them up. 

“Get in line, babe.” Hugo didn’t spare him another glance, his sole focus on getting this over with as soon as possible. He kept one foot on Varian’s injured thigh, applying just enough pressure that he’d think twice about trying to fight. Still, his eyes burned with fire, the desire to fight evident in those fierce blue eyes, what kept that fight in him? After all that had happened, how could he still want to fight? Hadn’t he been through enough? Didn’t he want to give up and accept his fate? His question from earlier at the forefront of his mind. What made him so different? 

*****************

Varian’s mind was hazy with pain. His leg felt like it was on fire, the pain never ending as it shot up and down the limb. He didn’t know how he was still conscious, he was exhausted both mentally and physically, and yet he was awake, the adrenaline pumping through him refusing to let him drift off. It was almost like that time- He blinked and whatever it was disappeared. What did this remind him of? He’d never known this kind of pain, this kind of exhaustion, but something gnawed at the back of his mind that he did. He shook his head, it must be the pain and adrenaline playing tricks on his mind, it had to be. That was the only way to explain this odd sense of deja vu, _right?_

He didn’t have time to think about it, Hugo pulling him to his feet and forcing him forward. His knees buckled as he gripped Hugo’s arm for support, fresh waves of pain shooting up his leg. The other paid him no mind, practically dragging him around the ship, Varian struggling to keep up. He wanted to fight, but Hugo had been right. What had been his plan? He certainly didn’t grab any food or water, he didn’t know where he was, it had practically been a suicide mission. He may as well have just thrown himself into the water to be eaten by the sharks or drown. It was probably best to just relent to his fate and save himself from more pain. He was so tired. He could feel his steps slowing as Hugo swung open a hatch, leading him down the stairs. His mind was fuzzy, his vision starting to blur, or maybe it was too dark down here, it was hard to tell. After his eyes adjusted it didn’t take him long to realize he was going to be spending his time in a cell. Hugo opened the door and threw him inside, his head spinning once again as he collided harshly with the ground. Dark spots clouded his eyes, the world morphing before him. 

_“Varian, stop this, please! I’m sorry okay?!” Rapunzel looked scared, desperate. She was scared of him, why? He looked down, his hands coated with blood, sticky with the sensation of it._

“Bite down on this.” Varian blinked, Hugo was holding out a piece of what looked to be leather. Varian looked around, he must’ve blacked out. His pant leg was torn around the wound, and Nuru was now there, her back turned holding _something._ “Bite down on this. If you don’t you're going to break your teeth.” 

“What?” The world was still blurry, _Rapunzel smiling next to him._

_“It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” She smiled, it breaking away into a pained cry._

Varian jerked away from her. Hugo seemed unaware of what he was seeing. How did he not see? “We’re going to cauterize the wound, so you don’t get an infection. It’s going to hurt like hell.” 

_Rapunzel nodded her head, giving her consent to listen to him._ Varian took the leather in his mouth, completely missing the odd look Hugo sent his way. He kept his eyes locked on _Rapunzel’s_ as the hot iron connected with his skin and the smell of burning flesh filled his nose. He bit down hard, screaming into the leather, tears spilling down his cheeks. 

_“This is so boring, don’t you think?” Rapunzel’s eyes were sparkling with mischief. He nodded. She smiled as she jumped up on the railing of the balcony, her feet the only things keeping her from falling, and then he pushed her._

“We’re going to do the other side now.” Hugo said, his hands prying Varian’s away from where they’d gripped his shirt. He nodded, letting the other move him as he pleased. The captain and the girl exchanging a concerned look, before pressing the iron against his skin again. 

_“Think we can make it go higher?” Rapunzel asked, leaping onto their makeshift swing. He wanted to say yes, but she wasn’t there anymore, she was twisted cruelly on the ground, her limbs every which way, blood pooling around her head in a morbid crown._

“I think we could try.” He let the pain drown him, the memories fading away in the waves, the pull of the deep ocean beckoning to him, and who was he to deny it. He closed his eyes and let the darkness consume him.   
  


********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art once again by jjgg! Seriously check them out!


	7. Don’t Ask Questions You Don’t Want the Answers To

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a particularly exciting chapter but some new friends and some relationship building and a lot of Hugo introspection! Enjoy!!!!

She relished in the feeling of the wind in her hair, the sun warm on her skin, the salt in the air. Her blood red lips curving into a smile as she started her hunt. It had been far too long since she’d had a good game of cat and mouse. The excitement of the chase settling deep within her bones. She was ready, ready to let her blade cut cleanly across the necks of those filthy pirates. Ready to drag Varian back kicking and screaming if she had to. Ready to avenge the fallen citizens of Corona, ready to avenge her fallen brethren. She  _ craved  _ death. It was an addiction she had yet to quench, a deep thrill that sent her nerves on end. She’d been sent with clear orders, show no mercy, bring Varian back  _ however  _ possible. She was made for this, she  _ thrived _ in this. Her pale green eyes narrowed as they focused on the horizon. Somewhere out there was her destiny, somewhere out there was her target, she was the bringer of fate, whether they were ready for her or not. 

“Cassandra, what are your orders?” Cassandra leapt off the railing, letting go of the rope that had been her lifeline. She smiled at the redheaded woman, her expression matching hers. 

“Give them a head start. We do want to have fun, don’t we, Caine?” Cassandra asked, shooting her a wink. They had plenty of time, The Moonstone was the fastest ship in existence rivaled only by The Sundrop, both of which belonged to Corona. They would catch up in no time. After all, where was the fun in catching your prey if you didn’t play with it first? 

*******************

Hugo drummed his fingers on his desk. His mind elsewhere as Nuru helped clean up his shoulder. He’d expected a bad reaction from Varian, he doubted the other knew any actual pain besides the odd scrape on his knees growing up. But his reaction in the dungeons had still been concerning. He’d been mumbling gibberish, reacting to things that weren’t even there. The logical reason was that he suffered a pain induced hallucination, he was in a great deal of pain, obviously exhausted, probably hungry, and most definitely dehydrated. All of those things combined did not make for a pretty picture. Still, he couldn’t get his mind off it. One word sticking out in particular, or perhaps a name would be a better way to describe it. 

“What do you know about Princess Rapunzel?” Hugo asked, turning in his seat to better face Nuru. She rolled her eyes, moving so she could once again work on stitching him up. He fought back an eye roll of his own. He hated when she ignored his questions. “Or did all your knowledge on Coronan royalty disappear with your manners?” 

He yelped as she stuck him rather harshly with the needle. “Remember who’s holding the needle here, dumbass.” 

“Bitch.” He did roll his eyes this time, his tone light and teasing. 

“Bastard.” Nuru shot back, a smile playing on her lips. 

“Cunt.” 

“Dickwad.” 

“Whore.” 

Nuru laughed, giving Hugo a gentle push so she could continue her work. Her eyes taking on a slightly darker tone, they always did when she talked about her past. “I don’t know much honestly. Corona’s almost as secretive as Arendelle. Some people used to say she was a witch, some said she was born of the sun itself.  _ Everyone  _ says she’s dangerous, but no one’s seen her. I used to hear she’s kept locked up in a tower, Corona’s secret weapon. I suppose it makes sense, her cousin’s a witch.” 

Hugo scoffed. “Sounds like a stupid fairytale.” 

Nuru shrugged. “Maybe, but I like to believe there’s some truth in fairytales.” 

Hugo smiled sadly, sometimes he forgot Nuru was technically still a child. “You’re just a hopeless romantic.” He teased, watching her face flush red for a moment. 

“I may be a hopeless romantic, but you’re the one who put us in this situation because you couldn’t keep it in your pants  _ for five fucking minutes _ .” Nuru reprimanded, punching his shoulder before tying off the last of the stitch. 

Hugo laughed. “I  _ wish _ I’d gotten five minutes. He’s beautiful isn’t he?” 

“I swear to all that’s holy, if I die because you couldn’t control your dick, I’m coming back from the grave just so I can cut it off myself.” Nuru sneered, packing up her little injury kit she’d insisted on putting together. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Hugo laughed, spinning in his chair so he was facing the window, her footsteps retreating behind him. 

“Fuck off.” She called, the door slamming behind her. As soon as it clicked shut, his smile slipped off his face, eyes focused on the water outside his window, as he tried to process this new information. The princess was definitely someone they had to be weary of. Varian has said her name quite a few times during his little hallucination, that meant he most likely knew her,  _ that _ made her a threat. He should warn Donella, he should tell her of all the possible threats coming their way, he didn’t. The bitter part of his heart screamed it’s what she deserved, she didn’t take him or his ideas seriously therefore she deserved whatever hell was coming her way. He would be prepared, he was in the right, he’d accomplish his mission  _ his _ way. And that started with figuring out any holes in their defenses, any way they might be attacked. He needed to know more about this princess. He needed to go straight to source, he needed to talk to Varian, but there was no getting anything out of him today, he’d have to build that trust up. It was a task he wasn’t prepared for, but he’d do it to get the information he desired. 

Hugo sighed, dropping his head into his hands. He was mentally exhausted, his mind swirling with so many conflicting emotions, and thoughts. He grabbed a bottle from his desk, chugging the contents, the liquid burning down his throat, he paid it no mind. It really wasn’t too often that he drank, especially when Donella was still breathing down his neck, but he needed something to ease the rising anger in his chest. How dare she call him a child, didn’t she know all he’d done for her, in her name? Didn’t she trust him, his judgement? Had this all been for show? 

He threw the empty bottle against the wall, letting out a frustrated growl, pulling another one from the cabinet, his own secret supply. He downed it as quickly as the first. He pulled the drawer open, grabbing Donella’s letter, a new wave of frustration hitting him. Did she actually care about him? Or was he just another little treasure to show off? He tore the letter in half, each tear ripping his heart to pieces. She never cared, she couldn’t have, not when she so nonchalantly threatened his life. He was wavering, his resolve crumbling as his emotions leapt from angry, to frustrated, to hurt, to determined. The alcohol not helping in the slightest. He couldn’t keep up with his thoughts, his own mind betraying him. 

He stumbled to his feet, making his way out onto the deck. He ignored his crew, making his way to the dungeons, stopping abruptly in front of Varian’s cell. Varian was curled up on the cold floor, eyes screwed shut tightly, his lips moving ever so slightly as his fingers twitched. Tears stained his face, the flesh on his leg still an angry red. This was the boy he’d been so eager to throw his hard work away for? He was a mess. He was broken, tossed to the side by his own people, by the princess. He said they wouldn’t want him back. Why? What had he done? Was it even worth his time? 

He tilted his head, contemplating his next move. He needed answers, he had too many questions. Just what was his story? How did he know the princess? Why wouldn’t Corona want him back? He seemed as harmless as they came. Sure he had an attitude, but that didn’t mean anything. He stepped closer to the sleeping boy, letting his curiosity guide him, as he sunk to the ground, keeping a hand on the cell bars. Varian looked so out of place here, his soft features not matching the harsh exterior of his surroundings, but something within him said different. Perhaps he did belong here, he just needed to figure out what he was hiding in his past. He wanted answers and he hoped Varian could give them to him. 


	8. The Answers to the Past Lie in the Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we get a peek at what’s going on in Var’s past and Hugo’s conflicted again. Enjoy!!!

_The cold stone walls of the underground of the palace was nothing he was unfamiliar with. The water that constantly dripped from the ceiling, the way it filled the silent halls, it was all so familiar, yet this time it was different. Now, it was more than his and Rapunzel’s footsteps, now the chains around his wrists echoed loudly with each step, his sobs filling the otherwise morbid silence. He looked up to his father, his face unreadable, an unbreakable mask, it was terrifying. He was only like this when he was angry, when he was really really angry._

_“Daddy, I’m sorry. I- I didn’t know-“_

_“Enough, Varian.” Varian clamped his mouth shut. There was no use in arguing, he couldn’t say anything that would change their minds, he couldn’t if he wanted to. He’d promised he’d keep it a secret, it would be much worse if they knew the truth, they’d never look at her the same. But she’d promised nothing bad would happen if he lied for her, and now it was. They needed to know it wasn’t his fault, he shouldn’t be punished, it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t._

_“-of course it’s purely experimental, but it should do the trick.” Varian blinked, he’d been so caught up in his thoughts he’d missed the explanation of his punishment. The room they’d arrived at was simple, the stone was just as bland and bare as the rest of the underground, a menacing chair sat in the middle, straps and wires coming off of it. Varian really wished he’d paid attention to the explanation. The king and queen stood on one side, his father at his back, guards blocking the exit, the royal advisor next to the king, a man he didn’t recognize by a control panel, and Rapunzel. Rapunzel stood in front of him, a soft smile on her lips as she offered him her hand, her head wrapped in pure white bandages. She almost looked like an angel, but he knew better, she was an angel of death._

_“It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” She smiled, and he took her hand. His tears blurred his vision as he was led to the chair, the straps tight around him where the chains had been removed, a horrible crown of metal and wires placed on his head._

_He pulled at the straps, perhaps it was too little too late, he just needed to try one last time. “Rapunzel-“_

_“Ssshhh. It’s okay. I promised it would be okay, didn’t I?” She smoothed back the small bits of hair that stuck out from the metal, giving his hand one last reassuring squeeze before joining her parents. He didn’t get to say anything else, a leather strap shoved between his teeth, his tears leaving tracks on his cheeks. He shot his father one last pleading glance, he turned away. And then his head erupted in pain, his back arching as electricity ran through his veins, a scream tearing from his throat, his mind purged of all memories. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, a moment of peace as the pain subsided. Then it started again._

His eyes shot open. His heart was pounding in his chest, eyes darting around for a sign, anything that proved he wasn’t back- where? Where did he think he was again? He ran his hand along the smooth wood underneath him. That’s right. He was a captive on a pirate ship. Then why did he think he was somewhere else. He could’ve sworn he was somewhere else. It felt like something was hanging on the edge of a memory and a dream, but what? What had he seen? What had he dreamt that gave him this overwhelming sense of deja vu?

“I didn’t think you’d ever wake up.” His eyes snapped up, Hugo sitting on a chair, his head resting on his arms on the back of the chair. He looked bored, twirling a gold coin between his fingers. Varian focused on it, the motion somehow soothing to his frantic mind. His head was pounding, his leg absolutely searing, his body aching from the odd sleeping position. The stupid little coin seemingly the only thing grounding him. “You’ve been out for almost two days. Didn’t think you lost that much blood.”

Varian stared at him, eyes wide as he processed what he had said. Two days? He’d been out for two days? It didn’t make sense, he didn’t even remember falling asleep. His leg served as a harsh reminder of the pain that had knocked him out. “I- two days?” His throat hurt, sore and scratchy from disuse. 

“Yup.” Hugo said, pocketing the coin and standing from his chair. He bent down, leaning as close as possible, just the bars separating them. “You talk in your sleep, you know that?” 

Varian swallowed thickly, he didn’t like this, he didn’t know where this was going, but the last time Hugo’s voice took on that tone he’d been shot. He could only guess he wanted information, but he didn’t have any, not anything useful anyways. “Does it matter? I don’t know anything.”

Hugo laughed. “I think you do. You must, you’re friends with the princess, right?” 

Varian’s breath hitched, he should’ve known it would come to this. But he wasn’t friends with the princess, he was friends with _Rapunzel_ , it wasn’t technically lying if he said no. “I’m not friends with the princess.” 

“Oh, we’re doing word play, how fun!” Hugo smiled, his finger tapping on the bar. “Let’s play a game. You answer my questions and I’ll give you a prize.” 

“I don’t want to play your stupid game.” Varian snapped, crossing his arms over his chest, and turning his face away. If he had more confidence that he wouldn’t fall over the moment he tried to stand, he’d have turned completely around. 

“Glad to see you still have your spunk.” Hugo deadpanned. “But I think you’ll want this prize.” Varian watched as Hugo slid a tray in front of him, it piled with food and a glass of water. He was suddenly hyper aware of how hungry he was and how dry his mouth was. 

After a moment of ogling the tray, he turned away again. He couldn’t starve him, he purposely hadn’t killed him before, so he was fairly certain he needed him alive. “If you wanted me dead you would’ve killed me on that rowboat. You’ll have to give me that tray eventually.” 

To his surprise, Hugo smiled. “Touché.” Varian smiled himself, feeling rather relieved that he wasn’t going to be deprived of the basic necessities at least. Hugo stood opening the cell door and entering with the tray. He set it down next to Varian, sitting in his cot, leaving the door wide open. “Eat up, darling.” 

Varian narrowed his eyes at him. “What’s the catch?” He asked, glancing briefly to the door. 

Hugo shrugged, following his glance to the open door, a smirk on his lips. “No catch. You don’t want to play, I respect that. You’re right I need you alive, I’ve rewarded that. Do what you will.” 

Varian glanced between the tray, Hugo, and the open door. He wanted to run, he so badly wanted to run again, he needed to, he wanted out of here. He cast one last longing look at the open door, grabbing the glass and chugging the water, not caring as it splashed about, spilling down his chin. He tossed the cup aside and worked on the food next, shoveling it in with no regards for manners, if his father could see him now he’d be so disappointed, not that he wasn’t already. Hugo was watching him with that stupid smug grin. “What?” 

“Nothing.” His grin slipped, his eyes narrowing a bit, his head tilting slightly. His expression somehow softer, an almost childlike curiosity behind his eyes. 

Varian was suddenly very self conscious, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment at his behavior. He slowed his movements, placing his spoon back onto the tray. “I- do I have something on my face?” 

Hugo seemed to shake himself out of his trance. “No. I-“ He hesitated, something about it throwing Varian off, but his eyes hardened again, the softness gone as quickly as it came. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow you’ll be answering those questions whether you want to or not.” 

Varian watched, confused at the sudden change, if emotional whiplash was a thing he definitely had it. What had caused the sudden mood change? Both had been rather unexpected. Before he could ask, before he could comment, Hugo was gone, his tray snatched away, the door closed, and he was alone again. His mind was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out his odd dream, _memory?,_ and Hugo’s odd behavior. It was too much right now. Despite just having woken up, he was exhausted. With some difficulty, he pushed himself up, grimacing as pain shot up his leg from the new pressure. He slid into the cot, his eyes feeling heavy already. He wanted to stay awake, he needed to, he needed to figure out how to get out of here, he needed to know where that strange dream came from. He had so many questions and no answers. He wanted to scream, he wanted to sleep, he wanted answers. He wouldn’t find them here, he needed to get back to Corona, but then again Hugo had said they’d taken everything from Corona. Maybe there was a clue to the answers within the treasure. He would need to cooperate and gain Hugo’s trust to get a look at it. He could do that. He’d spent most of his life learning different ques and mannerisms to trick people into trusting him. This was just another form of politics. And he could bullshit with the best of them.   
  


**********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More jjgg art! I am blessed! Y’all are blessed! We all fucking blessed!


	9. More Questions, No Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nuru introspection anyone? Enjoy!!!

The sound of water dripping against the cold stone echoed through the hall. Chills ran up and down her spine with every step her bare feet took. She didn’t regret it though, she needed to do this, she needed to know it was real. This would be her final act as Rapunzel, everything from here on out would be in the name of the queen. Everything she did, everything she said, would be for Corona. Her free will was gone, she was a puppet on strings from here on out. As soon as she took the vow, perhaps before that, she was a pawn in a game she didn’t understand, but she refused to lose. 

She walked, head held high, to the end of the hall, entering the room with no hesitation. This was the room where her secrets died, any chance of having them dug up long gone. And yet, here she stood, forcing them back into the light. She dragged her fingers over the worn wood of the chair, making her way to the back wall. This room had only been used once, once was all that was needed. She didn’t regret it, it had been necessary, she just hoped it wouldn’t be necessary again. She ran her hand along the wall, smiling as her nail caught on a brick. She removed the brick easily, as if she’d done it a thousand times, and she had, but today would be the last. She removed the box from within, sitting primly on the chair, box now on her lap. 

“Hey, Sunshine? I came as soon as I got your message. Everything okay?” Eugene looked concerned as he rounded the corner, she supposed he had every right to, her message had been rather cryptic. 

“Do you remember the day we met?” She asked, eyes focused on something beyond him, like he wasn’t even there. 

“Of course I do. Rapunzel, wha-“ 

“And do you remember that day Varian was found injured outside our borders?” She paid no mind to his answer, it wasn’t what she was interested in. “What if I told you there’s more to the story? What if it was all a lie?” 

Eugene looked confused, scared, concerned. And truthfully he had every right to be. “Rapunzel, what’s going on?” 

Her fingers tightened around the box, finally looking Eugene in the eye. “I think it’s time you knew the truth about Varian.” 

*********************

She always cherished her time behind the wheel of the ship. It was her favorite part of the day, a nice break from the chaos of the rest of the crew. It was just her, the ocean, and the stars. Except tonight wasn’t one of those nights, instead she was on treasure duty. It was a stupid position, she just had to sit with the treasure and make sure no one got sticky fingers. It was against their code to steal from each other, but Hugo was being paranoid. He always was after a conversation with Donella. Their relationship was something she couldn’t quite understand. She knew the basics. Hugo was an orphan, somehow he stowed away on one of Donella’s ships, she decided to raise him from there, then he became a captain of a much smaller crew for her. They never did any of the really dirty work, they were essentially a getaway ship. They took off with the treasure as Donella’s crew caused the diversion. They would meet up later, it was perfect, flawless even, until Corona. 

She’d noticed it sooner, but she’d pushed it aside, filing it away for a conversation for a later time. Oh how she regretted it now. Something was off about Hugo. She’d known him for almost three years now, and he never acted the way he was now. Logically, it was just him growing up, becoming his own person, flourishing away from Donella’s scrutinizing hand. She just couldn’t help but think it was something else going on. He was more rebellious, him taking Varian as a hostage was proof. He seemed antsy, almost as if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Not to mention the nights like tonight, when he would give her some menial task and take over the wheel, his eyes watching the sea with a sense of longing. It was something she was familiar with, she had longed to help her people once. She had felt trapped, trapped in the never ending cycle of conformity and lies. Hugo had freed her, now she wanted to return the favor. But how much more freedom could he possibly have? He was essentially as free as could be. He could go wherever he wanted, explore, take whatever he pleased, the only thing holding him back was Donella. They could easily leave her though, sure they’d have a target on their backs, but all he needed to do was ask and she’d follow. He had saved her life, they were a family now. And she couldn’t bear to see him like this. 

She needed to talk to him, to figure out what was bothering him, whatever it was seemed to increase the longer he spent with Varian. Not that it was much time, he had just woken up today. Still, there seemed to be something that just pulled him to the other, he’d been neglecting his duties as captain to spend time in the dungeon watching him. Maybe it was guilt or maybe her words had gotten through to him and he was going to give him a fighting chance. Whatever it was she hoped they could work through it, she couldn’t take another boring as hell treasure duty. 

She forced herself to stand, pacing the length of the room so she wouldn’t drift off _again._ She was so terribly bored, even her thoughts couldn’t save her from the boredom. She kicked the loose coins around, although that got old pretty quick, so she resorted to sorting the treasure by color. Pure gold in one pile, red jewels in another, blue jewels in another, diamonds in the corner, and silver in the other. It was tedious, she couldn’t complain at least she was doing something now. It was all too soon that the bottom of the pile became visible, the wood of the ship a glaring flat brown compared to the sparkling gold around her. She grabbed another handful, mindlessly tossing the pieces into their respective piles. She leaned down to grab another handful when something white caught her eye. It was towards the bottom of the pile, just barely peeking out from beneath the gold. She rolled her eyes, of course when the crew was told to empty pockets they’d bring trash. She bent down, grabbing the paper and pulling it loose with a sharp tug. Some of the gold fell, polluting her other piles, but she didn’t mind it would give her more time to complete her task. She went to toss the paper aside, something stopping her at the last minute. The paper felt thick between her fingers, the texture more like an official letter than any type of poster or trash might be. Had her former status been lower she probably wouldn’t have recognized it. Alas, it wasn’t and she did. 

She carefully unfolded the paper, now certain that it was in fact a letter. Her golden eyes going wide as she read the words within, her breath catching in her throat. This was something way beyond her pay grade, or it would be if she was actually getting paid. She needed to tell Hugo right away, there was no time to lose. She ran as fast as she could, feet pounding loudly against the wood planks of the quiet ship, the words swirling around in her mind. 

_Varian,_

_There’s so much I want to tell you, unfortunately time is not on my side. So, I will start simply by saying that I love you, I always have, please keep that in mind. You may have already guessed, I am very much alive. I regret everyday leaving you, but the life of a noble was not for me. Had it been my choice you would be here with me. I can only hope that now since you are eighteen you will make the choice to join me on the seas. I know your father will try to keep you from me, I know he means well, he cannot keep you from your fate. You belong out here with me. I know you feel the pull of the ocean, you must. I know you must be confused and hurt, I_ **_promise_ ** _to explain as soon as you’re in my arms once again. Please believe me when I say I never meant to hurt either of you. Meet me where the sun and sky become one. I know you’ll understand, my darling baby boy. I’ll wait as long as I can, please make haste. As I said I don’t have long, my fate is in your hands._

_Love,_

_Your mother, Captain Ulla of the Asterna Damnatione_

_*******************_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Nuru once again by jjgg! I’m crying! She’s perfect!


	10. How Many Letters Does it Take to Spell Mutiny?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens you’ll see!! Enjoy!!

Hugo read the words on the paper, then reread them another five times to ensure what he was seeing was really there. It couldn’t be there was no way,  _ it wasn’t possible.  _ Ulla had been dead for years. Donella made sure of it, she was supposed to be dead. She was supposed to be, and yet here was this letter, her handwriting clear as the sun in the  _ fucking  _ sky. This was Ulla’s no doubt. If anyone were to recognize it, it would be him. He’d spent most of his life pouring over her research, scanning her writings and journals for anything that might prove useful. He didn’t know much about her history with Donella, all he knew was she was dangerous, perhaps the most fearsome pirate to ever live, and now he was finding out that  _ her son _ was captive on  _ his ship. _ If he wasn’t royally screwed before he most certainly was now. 

“I want him off my  _ fucking ship right fucking now!” _ He wasn’t mad per se it wasn’t the idiots fault they couldn’t read, he was just slightly pissed off that they had the son of Donella’s sworn enemy on his ship. Was it mostly his fault? Most likely, but he wasn’t about to take the fall for it. 

“But we’re still a day from Equis.” Nuru protested, falling into step with him as he hurried down the steps. He didn’t even bother to check to see if someone took over the wheel. 

“We don’t need to take him to Equis anymore, we just need to dump him on the nearest rock we can find.” Normally he’d put a bullet in his head and be done. But that was no longer an option, if he was truly Ulla’s son and the tales were true, if he killed Varian he may as well off himself too. 

“Hugo, think for a second. We don’t know he’s her son. Obviously, he doesn’t know, so what if he’s not?” He admired Nuru’s tenacity, really he did, unfortunately her sentimentality always had the terrible habit of showing up at the wrong time. 

He turned sharply on her, he must’ve looked damn menacing because she took half a step back, her eyes widening. “It doesn’t matter whether he is or not. It doesn’t matter if he knows it. The only thing that matters is that  _ she _ fucking thinks he is and will kill every last one of us if she thinks we’ve so much as touched a hair on his  _ fucking head!”  _

He didn’t wait for her to respond, if her startled look was anything to go by she wasn’t going to give one anyways. He crossed the distance to the cell easily, his mind a mess with thoughts. He’d have to find a way to make it up to Donella, she was going to be pissed about having to go through all this trouble and have nothing come out of it. She would understand his choice, she had too. It was better than facing the wrath of Ulla, but wasn’t she also injured? Something wasn’t making sense, something didn’t add up, and he had no time to figure it out. He pulled the cell door open, not bothering to wake Varian up, instead harshly pulling him to his feet. 

“What?” Varian blinked rapidly, eyes still unfocused from being torn from his sleep. Hugo paid him little mind, despite his heart clenching slightly at the rude awakening, perhaps he didn’t have to be so rough, but time was of the essence. 

“Looks like your stay has been cut short, doll. I hate to be a bad host, but unfortunately for you, you’ve become a liability.” He didn’t look back at him, he instead looked towards Nuru, her disappointed stare, the hurt in her eyes. He could understand where it came from, he just couldn’t be Varian’s savior, not like he’d been hers. He couldn’t help, there was no way. 

“ _ Excuse me? _ ” Hugo rolled his eyes, apparently someone was fast to wake up. “I fought tooth and nail to get out of this hellhole, and now you’re just  _ letting me go?! _ ” 

“Exactly, you’re welcome.” Hugo deadpanned, pulling him up the stairs. The little bastard was tougher than he looked, pulling back to get free. If he actually succeeded he’d fall back and crack his skull on the steps, he could just let go, it would be an accident. Somehow he didn’t think Ulla would see it that way, so he kept his grip, pulling him onto the deck and dragging him to the railing. “Equis is a day from here, if you’re going to port. If not, land should be about three hours of rowing. I suggest you work quickly, there’s said to be piranhas in these waters and I hear they get pretty hungry at night.” 

“Wait, a goddamn minute! You can’t-“ 

“I’m the captain, I can do whatever I please, and you’ve got to go. Sorry, sweet cheeks, but it has to be this way.” He was prepared to say more, a quick retort ready on his tongue for when Varian inevitably argued, he never got to use it. 

“About that,” Hugo grit his teeth, Andrew approaching with a smug look on his stupid face. Why Donella ever thought it was a good idea to let him join the crew was beyond him. He was a personified rat. “The crew and I have been talking, and we’re not sure you’re suited for the position anymore.” 

He should’ve seen this coming, honestly, no one had been that happy about his promotion, he just figured they’d get over it. Obviously he was wrong, as if that was a first. “What do we do now?” Hugo stiffened slightly, his eyebrows knitting together as he took in Nuru’s question. There were too many of them to fight, they’d lose before they even had a chance, there was little chance he’d be able to sway them back to his side, the crew already closing in. They’d have to make a decision and fast. He had his answer on the top of his tongue, only to be cut off again. 

“We can’t fight them, that’s for sure. We need to get out.” Varian said, something about it grating on Hugo’s nerves. He couldn’t just steal the words out of his mouth like that,  _ he _ wasn’t the captain. 

“Oh so you’re in charge now?” Hugo sneered. “I thought you would  _ want  _ this.” 

“I don’t see  _ you _ making any decisions. And I’ve been trying to get out of here since you dragged me into this mess.” Varian shot back, his cheeks red, from what he couldn’t tell, but if he had to guess it was anger. 

“Boys,  _ please.”  _ Nuru cut in, pushing closer to them as the crew got closer still, swords at the ready. “Now is  _ not _ the time for this.” 

“Well maybe if your captain was a better  _ fucking captian  _ we wouldn’t be in this mess.” Varian hissed, finally pulling his arm free from Hugo’s grip. 

Hugo was positively furious at this point, couldn’t he get a moment of peace anymore? “Well maybe if you-“ 

_ “Hugo!” _ Nuru’s call pulled him out of his own head for a moment. A crew member a bit too close to her for his liking, he wasn’t going to have her get hurt on account of his own ego. 

“I hope you can swim.” Hugo gave Varian no other warning before pushing him over the railing, his blue eyes going wide with panic. 

“Wait-“ Varian’s protest fading away as he plummeted, Hugo gesturing for Nuru to follow. She wasted no time in flinging herself over the side of the ship. 

He blocked Andrew’s sword with his own as it swung down where Nuru had just been. Andrew just laughed, his lips curling into a smirk. “You always were too soft for this kind of lifestyle.” 

“You always were a prick.” Hugo sneered, sidestepping Andrew’s next attack. He wasted no more time, diving off the ship to join Nuru and Varian. He knew he wouldn’t stand a chance and he had no plans to die today. The warm water a stark contrast to the cool morning air. Hugo easily breached the surface, the cheers of the crew filling his ears, and if that didn’t sting. He shook it off, watching as the note dissolved into the water. 

“Hey! Looks like we’ve still got someone on our side.” Nuru called. Hugo’s head snapped to her, the girl was wet but otherwise in one piece and sitting in a rowboat, pointing towards the ship. Hugo smiled, Cyrus watching them from the railing, he must’ve dropped the boat for them. He swam over to it, Nuru helping him in. “Where’s Varian?” 

“Hell if I know, he went in before you.” Hugo responded, shedding his jacket and giving it a firm shake. 

“Hugo.” The concern in her voice got him to stop his movements, giving her his full attention. “I don’t think he can swim.” 

He laughed. “Of course he can. His mother’s a captain. Don’t be ridiculous.” 

“He grew up in  _ Old Corona. _ ” He shrugged, not quite understanding the message. Nuru huffed, running a hand down her face. “Old Corona is a farming town. Nowhere near the water. If the letter’s right he probably doesn’t even know who his mother is.”

Hugo shrugged. “Ulla problem solved then.” 

“Hugo.” It was more of a warning than anything. Arguing would be pointless, if he didn’t listen Nuru would probably shove him overboard, and that was not something he wanted twice in a day. 

“Fine.” He said with a roll of his eyes, diving back into the water. It didn’t take him long to spot Varian, the other sinking further and further down. He’d probably exhausted himself trying to get to the surface. He tried not to dwell on how his hair floated around him, giving him all these lovely new angles in which to appreciate his features, nor on the way his shirt lifted with the flow of the water, exposing the soft olive skin underneath. Instead he focused on his task of getting him back to the surface, and definitely not on the way he felt pressed against him. His injured shoulder screamed in protest as he pulled them back to the surface, gasping for air as he broke it, Nuru already pulling at Varian to get him into the boat, before helping Hugo in. 

Hugo leaned forward, his lungs screaming from the exertion, watching closely as Nuru turned Varian on his side as best she could. “Come on. Please be okay.” She chanted it over and over. And Hugo couldn’t help but smile at it, no matter what happened she always cared for others, she always wanted to protect people and her own kingdom had shunned her for it. He found himself hoping, purely for her sake and not his own, definitely not his, that Varian would pull through. 

For once fate was on his side. Varian coughed, the water spilling out of his mouth and onto the bottom of their new vessel. “Let it all out. We’re safe for now.” Nuru comforted, patting his back lightly as he spit up the remaining water. 

Varian sucked in his own breaths, leaning back against the edge of the rowboat, his chest rising and falling heavily as his eyes met Hugo’s. “You saved my life. Why?” 

Hugo shrugged. “What good are you to me dead?” He turned away, not wanting to see the softer smile that played on Varian’s lips. His heart beat rapidly in his chest, his stomach flipping, it was just the events of the day catching up with him. He was  _ not  _ going to catch feelings for Varian of all people. “Get rowing. I don’t want to be out here all day.” 

Varian laughed, pushing himself onto the seat and grabbing the oars, Nuru doing the same on her side. “Aye aye captain.” Varian teased, that damn smile still there. He didn’t feel anything,  _ he didn’t.  _ He refused, even if he had to snuff them out himself. 


	11. Freedom is an Illusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Var thinks about freedom. The universe says you thought bitch!!! Enjoy!!

He was once again exhausted. Every muscle in his body aching as he rowed. He didn’t let it bug him, he was almost free. As soon as they were back on land, this makeshift alliance would be over and he could finally go home. Equis wasn’t on the friendliest of terms with Corona, but he was certain he’d be able to find someone that could get him home, at the very least he could get a letter to his dad and wait it out until he’d send someone to get him. He just had to get to shore. Then he was free, then this nightmare would all be over, then he could find answers to these weird visions he’d been having. He couldn’t wait to go back home, see his dad, go back to his lab, he even missed the fieldwork and his stupid etiquette classes. He just had to power through this, he was almost there, he was almost free. He could feel the excitement building in his bones, despite the pain that still radiated from his leg and the soreness of his muscles, even the burn in his lungs couldn’t stop him. He could see the land visible on the horizon. He didn’t want to stop until they reached it. He was so close to freedom he could almost taste it. 

“We should take a break.” Nuru’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“But we’re almost there. Shouldn’t we just, I don’t know, get there?” Even as the words left his mouth he knew it was an argument he’d lose. His body was already exhausted as it was, only the excitement of being free soon kept him from collapsing. He feared if they stopped he would. 

“Okay, I know you’re new to the whole sea thing, but you don’t want to get dehydrated out here when we have no source of drinkable water. Also, if you pass out I’m not dragging your ass out of this boat and I sure as hell know Hugo won’t, so you’re shit out of luck. And most importantly I’m damn tired. Any more questions?” Nuru didn’t wait for a response, leaning back in her seat as she stretched her arms. 

Varian set his oars down, stretching as well before examining the new forming calluses on his hands. “Hope we didn’t ruin your manicure.” Hugo drawled, Varian glaring down at him, where he was stretched out on the bottom of the boat, his head resting on Nuru’s legs and his feet propped on Varian’s seat. 

“I’m from a farming community, I’ve done my fair share of labor, thank you very much.” Varian said with a roll of his eyes, clenching his hands shut. 

“I’m sure.” Hugo deadpanned, with an eye roll of his own. 

“Will you ever not be a jackass?” Varian shot back, turning away to look at the land in the distance. It was so close and yet so far away. He couldn’t wait to be on solid land again. 

“I’m sorry about him. He’s not usually so grumpy.” Nuru teased, nudging Hugo with her foot. 

Varian turned back towards them. They were strange compared to the others, maybe that’s why there had been a mutiny. Nuru was kind, despite her sharp tongue she definitely meant well. She had been the nicest to him since he got here. She was loyal, which he didn’t understand why she would be to Hugo, but he appreciated the trait nonetheless. Then there was Hugo. He had saved his life, but he had been rude, stubborn, he’d  _ fucking  _ shot him, threw him in the dungeons, he was the whole reason he was in this mess, and yet he couldn’t really be mad right now. He was annoyed, sure. He just couldn’t find it in himself to be truly angry anymore. Maybe it was the fact that he’d saved him, then again he’d put him in this situation to begin with. He decided it best not to dwell on it, he was likely just as emotionally drained as he was physically. It wouldn’t matter soon anyways. He would hopefully be on his way home in the morning, all of these thoughts and problems well behind him, never to see Nuru or Hugo again. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Varian mumbled, unclenching his hands and stretching his fingers before grabbing the oars once again. “Let’s just keep going, please.” 

He glanced away again, the homesickness hitting him tenfold, flinching slightly when Nuru placed a hand on his knee. “I know things haven’t been easy, trust me I’ve been there, but keep your head up. Things will work out.” She smiled softly before letting go grabbing her own oars. 

He returned the smile, ignoring Hugo’s irritated groan. “I- thank you. I appreciate it.” It was all he could say, what else was there, she’d been kind when she didn’t need to, offered him comfort, if things were different perhaps they could be friends. Unfortunately they never would be. 

The rest of the way was spent in relative silence, the odd comment exchanged every so often. He learned a bit more about Nuru, she had joined the crew a few years ago, although she never really formed a bond with anyone except Hugo. She didn’t say where she was from, but from her mannerisms and posture he figured she was most likely higher class. He shared some about himself, his love for science, which surprisingly caught Hugo’s attention, how his father disapproved of it and how he only let him indulge in it as a reward for behaving in front of the rest of the town. He didn’t tell them about Rapunzel, or the odd blank space in his memories, or the even stranger dream he had. No, that was all a mystery for him to figure out on his own. They didn’t need to get that personal, they’d be parting ways shortly. 

At least he thought they would. Hugo seemed to have other ideas. As soon as they hit the shore, Varian was out of the boat, his knees buckling under the sudden change from the swaying water he hadn’t even realized he’d gotten used to. He stumbled forward, falling to his knees and into the sand. Hugo laughed behind him, bending down and offering him a hand. “Got a little too used to your sea legs, haven’t you, doll?” 

“That’s an actual thing?!” Varian sputtered, taking Hugo’s hand albeit reluctantly. 

“Of course it’s a thing. Try using that pretty head of yours every once in a while.” Hugo teased, Varian thrown off at the tone of his voice, something about it lighter than usual. 

“And you should try using your heart sometime, or do you not have one?” Varian retorted, it wasn’t supposed to sound as cruel as it came out. It wasn’t his fault he still held some resentment towards the other about putting him in this situation. 

Hugo hummed, not letting go as Varian leaned on him and they walked further from the seashore. “I suppose I don’t.” 

“I don’t believe that. You saved me didn’t you?” He knew his words were contradictory to his previous, but he truly didn’t believe that Hugo had  _ no  _ heart. Perhaps a tiny, shriveled up one that hadn’t been used in far too long, but no heart was pushing it a bit. 

“You literally just said I didn’t have a heart. I- I don’t understand you.” Hugo admitted, his grip tightening ever so slightly on Varian. 

“I know I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I- it’s just-“ He stopped himself. It was kind of harsh to say that, true Hugo hadn’t been kind in the slightest, he just couldn’t help but think there was something else underneath all that cruelty and teasing. Something more to Hugo that he didn’t quite understand yet. He wondered if he’d ever, he doubted it. “I don’t understand you either.” 

“There’s not much to understand. I take what I want and that’s it.” Hugo responded. They had stopped moving, not that he’d noticed, he searched Hugo’s eyes for an answer to his question. Why would he save him when he had nothing to gain? Surely he was no longer of any use now that he had no ship, no crew to back him, nowhere to run. What was his plan? Or better yet what was Varian’s plan? He didn’t know where to go or where the nearest town was. He needed to get to one to send word to Corona that he was alive and needed an escort back. He couldn’t wait for the earful he’d get from his dad at that. He’d be lucky if he was ever allowed to see his lab again. Hugo cleared his throat, snapping Varian out of his thoughts. “We should keep moving.” 

Varian’s face flushed in embarrassment, suddenly realizing he’d been staring intently into Hugo’s eyes the whole time he had his inner battle. He quickly averted his eyes, stepping back a bit and creating a more amicable distance. “Right. I think I’m okay now.” 

“So, what’s the plan now?” Nuru asked, joining them once again. “There’s a town up ahead. We could get supplies there, lay low until we can get a ship or Don can pick us up.” 

That caught Varian’s attention. A town was so close, he was free, he was actually free. He didn’t realize Nuru was still talking, his heart fluttering with excitement and the prospect of all of this being finally truly over. He bounded forward, a wide smile on his face. This was it, it was over, and he was free. He ignored the calls of Nuru and Hugo, he didn’t have to listen to them anymore. He stepped off the beach and into the woods. He was almost there, he just had to get to town, send the letter, and wait until he was escorted back. He was so  _ close. _ And then a twig snapped, a rope tightened around his ankle and he was lifted off the ground, left hanging upside down. His head spun, the blood rushing to his head, spots dancing in his vision. It wasn’t enough to block out Nuru and Hugo as the latter angrily made his way over, knife already poised to cut the rope. 

“Don’t you  _ fucking listen _ ! I told you not to go ahead, we need to be careful this area has had numerous attacks recently. They're a bit paranoid when it comes to-“ Hugo was cut off by the sound of footsteps. 

“ _ Pirates! _ ” A soldier stepped out into the opening, followed by several more, and given their uniforms were maroon and gold, he could easily deduce they were in Equis. “Arrest them!” 

“Wha- wait! I’m not-“ He didn’t get to finish his plea, falling harshly to the ground as he was cut free. His head spun once again, the fall doing nothing but irritate his already aching body. He didn’t get to say anymore, his arms being roughly pulled behind his back and a sack going over his head. He did manage one last glance at Nuru and Hugo, the two of them in similar situations. This was not how this was supposed to go, he was supposed to be on his way home, not dragged into another shitty situation. He groaned as he was forced up and thrown into what he assumed was prison transport. 

“The king’s going to be happy about this. We haven’t had a pirate hanging in so long. We might even get a promotion.” The soldier said, shutting the door and locking it. 

“Fucking hell! Why couldn’t you fucking listen?! Now look at the mess you’ve gotten us into! This is all your fault!” He didn’t need to see Hugo’s face to know he was absolutely furious. He was sure if it wasn’t for the ropes keeping his hands behind his back, he’d have strangled him already. But he wasn’t to blame for this, it wasn’t his fault. 

“You’re one to talk! My life has been hell since I met you.  _ I  _ wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you! But no it wasn’t enough for you to destroy my home, you had to destroy the rest of my life too!” He was fuming, his emotions boiling over as his words echoed off the walls. His life would never be the same, even when he got back home,  _ if  _ he got back home, there would always be something to remind him of this. He hated it, he hated it all. He was supposed to be free. He would never be free, would he? Despite his best efforts a few tears slipped past his eyes, staining the bag. He forced back the rest, refusing to cry, not in front of his captors, not in front of anyone. 

“Don’t worry as soon as we get out of this, you’ll never have to see me again.” He blinked as the bag was removed, Hugo all too close, him and Nuru already out of their bindings. Hugo almost looked sad, or perhaps hurt was a better word. It made him seem more human, and it made Varian feel like shit. 

“I-“ 

“We need to work on a way to get out of here.” Hugo said, effectively cutting off Varian’s words, not that he had any clue as to what he was about to say. 

“Our best bet is to wait until we get to our destination. Jump them when they think we’re still incapacitated. Do you have any sleeping powder on you?” Nuru worked on Varian’s bindings as she talked, throwing the occasional glance over her shoulder at Hugo. 

“No. It’s all on the ship. We don’t have shit.” Hugo responded, dragging a hand over his face. 

“Damn. What now?” Nuru asked, standing up from her position and turning towards Hugo. 

“We could request an audience with the king.” Varian offered, rubbing his sore wrists. He blinked at their confused stares, both of them looking at him like he’d grown a second head. “What? My dad is lord of Old Corona, if we ask for an audience I can explain the situation and they’ll have to let us go.” 

“You mean, they’ll let  _ you  _ go.” Hugo retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“No. They’ll let  _ us  _ go. I owe you that much. But then we’re even, that’s it. A life for a life.” Varian stood holding his hand out for Hugo to shake. This would be it. Hugo got him into this mess, but he had saved him, so he’d get them out of it. Still it felt like he was making a deal with the devil. 

Hugo took his hand, giving it a firm shake. “You’ve got yourself a deal, sweet cheeks.” And just like that Hugo was back to his smug self, and Varian pulled back his hand, any previous guilt disappearing. Hopefully Trevor would listen to him, hopefully they’d all be free soon. 


	12. The King Takes the Rook

Varian groaned as he was thrown into yet another cell. It was becoming quite tiring really. Still, he didn’t have time to waste, he needed to get them out of here if he was going to be done with this. He moved back towards the exit, the cell door slamming in his face as soon as he reached it. “I demand an audience with the king!” He yelled, pressing himself against the bars, Hugo scoffed from behind him, but he paid it little mind. 

The guards laughed, turning back to face him. “A filthy little pirate has no right to demand an audience with the king.” 

Varian was more annoyed than anything at this point. “I tried to tell you fucking dumbasses before, I am  _ not  _ a pirate. I am Varian of Old Corona, son of  _ Lord _ Quirin, so you better be damn sure I get my fucking audience.” He sneered, leaning menacingly close despite the bars that separated him from the guards.

They paled slightly, exchanging a nervous glance before one gathered the courage to speak. “We will speak with the king.” They said nothing more turning and heading out of the dungeons. Varian slumped against the bars as soon as they were out of his line of sight, the exhaustion returning once again. He couldn’t wait for this to be over. To finally return to boring Old Corona, where he was expected to be something he wasn’t, where he was a disappointment to his father, where he wondered if his friends were actually even his friends. Maybe he should just stay away, travel on his own, figure things out for himself. Return home when he was ready on his terms, but he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if someone was actually looking for him. His father deserved to know he was safe, or mostly safe. They could talk about it when he returned home, even if he knew his chances of leaving again were low. 

“Gotta hand it to you, that was pretty ballsy. Making demands like that when you’re about to be hung. Guess you’ve got nothing left to lose though, so why the fuck not?” Hugo drawled, already making himself comfortable on one of the cots, Nuru on the other. 

“I said I’d get us out of here and I will. So I’d appreciate it if you could drop the sarcasm.” Varian huffed, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes. 

“My hero.” Hugo sighed dramatically, with a roll of his eyes. “Don’t worry I’m already working on a backup plan, because there is no way in hel-“

The door swung open, a very irritated guard making their way down to their cell. “King Trevor, the kind and generous ruler he is, has decided to grant your request for an audience.” 

Varian shot a smug grin over his shoulder at Hugo, the other having a look of shock on his face. Varian offered the two in the cell a small wave as he was led away, the interior of the castle becoming brighter the further away they got from the dungeons, until finally they stopped in the throne room, King Trevor already perched upon his throne. He had seen the king maybe once before, he was just as intimidating as then. His thin face making his already gigantic eyes pop out even more. His face was almost completely blonde hair and those bulging eyes, his maroon and gold outfit absolutely swallowing him. He looked like a caricature come to life. 

Varian was forced to his knees as they stopped in front of the throne, the steps leading up to the king’s current position still leaving a great distance between them. Trevor looked down at him, his lips curling in disgust for a second before a smile took its place. The man stood from his seat, making his way down the steps until he finally stopped in front of him. Varian could smell his too sweet cologne, it was almost mind numbing, but he pushed it aside taking the opportunity to finally address the king. “Your majesty-“ 

Trevor held up a hand, clicking his tongue in distaste. “Don’t they teach you anything about manners in Corona. Bunch of savages, the lot of you.  _ You  _ do not speak unless spoken to, is that so hard for you to understand?” 

“I-“ Varian shrunk back, his words cut off when Trevor placed a finger over his lips, shushing him. 

“That was rhetorical! Honestly, all you Coronan’s are so dense. Nonetheless, I need someone to take care of Trevor Jr. seeing as his last caretaker had a rather  _ unfortunate accident,  _ and I will admit you Coronan’s have a way with children. So, lucky for you we will have you fitted for more  _ suitable  _ attire and get you settled in.” Trevor grabbed his chin, moving his head about as he looked him over, before forcing him to stand. “Dirty little thing aren’t you? No matter, we’ll get you a bath as well. Can’t have Trevor Jr. exposed to all those germs. You are dismissed.” 

“What? No, you don’t understand!” Varian called, attempting to dig his heels into the floor as he was dragged back towards the door. 

Trevor gestured for the guards to stop, moving back in front of Varian. “And what exactly is it that I don’t understand,  _ boy? _ Corona is in ashes, those pirates tore her apart brick by brick, Frederic is dead, his daughter is now queen, and from what I hear she’s already breaking under the pressure. What I am offering you here is infinitely better. You are  _ nothing  _ there. I am giving you a chance to live the good life in exchange for your services. Those  _ pirates  _ hang at dawn, I will not risk the same thing happening to my kingdom, but if you insist you are more than welcome to join them.” 

“You can’t do  _ this.  _ I’m the son of Lord Quirin-“ Varian bit his tongue in frustration as Trevor cut him off once again, maybe his dad had been right he was nowhere near ready for court. 

“Ah, yes, my condolences. I am truly sorry about what happened, and I’m sure you must be very upset, with the prin-  _ queen _ giving away your birthright. It is all truly tragic, alas-“ 

This time it was Varian that cut Trevor off, his heart sinking as his mind processed the words. “What do you mean  _ my condolences?  _ What happened to my father?” 

Trevor stepped back, a look of shock crossing his face before a laugh erupted from his lips. “Oh, dear, I suppose you wouldn’t know, would you? After all you’ve been parading around with those pirates this whole time-“ 

Varian surged forward, grabbing Trevor by the front of his shirt as the guards tried to hold him back. “Cut the shit. What happened to my father?” 

Trevor simply laughed. “He died in the raid. One of your little pirate friends slit his throat most likely.” 

Varian froze, an odd numbness filling his body. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think, all he could do was stare in disbelief, denial at the forefront of his mind. “No. No. You’re  _ lying!”  _

Trevor easily removed Varian’s hands from his shirt, wiping the tears that he didn’t even know had started to fall from his cheeks. “And what would I have to gain from that?” Varian froze once again, floundering for words that just wouldn’t come. Trevor gave his cheek one last pat, before turning back to his throne. “Exactly. Take him away to get cleaned up. And do make sure he’s a bit more  _ stable  _ before he’s put to work.” 

Varian didn’t fight this time as he was more or less dragged from the room. There was no point anymore. His dad was gone, he didn’t even have Old Corona to look forward to apparently, Rapunzel already giving it away to the next eligible candidate. He felt empty, lost, like everything he’d been fighting for was for nothing. And maybe it was. What was he without his dad? He was the last piece to, well,  _ anything _ . The last of his family, the last reason he had to return home. If Rapunzel had already given Old Corona away he doubted they were looking for him, they probably assumed he was amongst the dead. Maybe he should be. 

He let himself be moved around like a doll, hardly resisting as he bathed and dressed in a different outfit. The top didn’t consist of much, just two strips of maroon fabric in an X formation across his chest, a strip of gold fabric in the middle to keep them in place. The bottoms were the same as much of the staff wore, the puffy maroon and gold striped pants that stopped just past his knees. They were a little longer than on most of the others, but he’d always been on the shorter side. They slipped a bracelet on each wrist, the gold spiraling up his forearms. They added gold paint around his eyes, his belly button, and just enough to give his lips a certain shine. Finally they placed a final golden cuff around his ankle, leaving him barefoot. Thankfully they didn’t touch his hair aside from running a comb through it. 

“You need to stop crying, dear. You’ll ruin all our hard work.” Varian’s eyes snapped up, focusing on the woman in front of him. She smiled kindly, dabbing a wet cloth over his cheeks to soak up the tears. He quickly dropped his eyes back to the ground, she simply sighed, obviously thinking he was looking at the new cuff around his ankle. “You’ll get used to it, eventually. It does provide a nasty shock if you step outside the palace walls though.” 

Varian blinked, confused as to what she was talking about. “What?” He croaked out, eyes still watering with tears as thoughts of his father refused to leave his mind. 

“The, uh,” She pointed to the cuff around his ankle. “It’s supposed to keep you in line. The King’s a collector and he likes to keep all of his things in place.” 

“Oh.” Varian replied, it was all he could say, any fight in him vaporizing like his hopes of seeing his father again. 

“Come now. I’ll give you a quick tour and get you settled in your new post. Just a bit of a warning, he’s quite a handful, but he does mean well. I’m sure the two of you will get along swimmingly.” She explained, a soft smile on her face as she pulled him up and led him back out into the hall. Varian couldn’t bring himself to respond, he didn’t want this to be real. He wanted to wake up on that goddamn pirate ship and have all of this be a terrible dream. He didn’t want this reality. He just wanted things to go back to the way they were before, adventure be damned. He wanted so badly to sink back into that terrible sense of normalcy of home, never able to grow, never able to do anything he actually liked. It was a terrible fate in itself, but it was comfortable and safe. He just wanted to feel safe again. Why couldn’t he have that much? 

*********************

The sun was getting higher in the sky, and if he had to guess it had been approximately two hours since Varian had been escorted away. From what he heard Trevor was quite chatty, but he failed to see how even he could be talking about this for  _ two hours _ . So that meant that either Varian had gotten free and ditched them, or a much worse fate had befallen him. Regardless, neither options were really in his favor. 

“When the sunsets we initiate plan B.” Hugo said, glancing to where Nuru was pressed against the bars of the cell, looking for any sign of Varian. 

“But we can't just leave him.” She responded, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“We have to if we want to save ourselves. If it makes you feel any better, he probably left us.” Hugo shrugged, a teasing smile on his lips. It dropped the instant Nuru shot him a dirty look. 

“It doesn’t.” She mumbled under her breath, turning back to resume her watch. 

“He has until sundown. I’m sure he’ll be back by then.” Hugo reassured, standing and joining Nuru in her search, a hand on her shoulder. She offered him a small smile, but said nothing more, her eyes narrowed as she focused on some point beyond the bars. Hugo sighed, he really didn’t like to put off his escape plan, but after sundown would be more ideal for an escape. He could wait until then. Varian would have until sundown to join them, if not they were leaving and never looking back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we should have yong y’all!!! Finally our little firecracker will be here!!!


	13. Friends in Unusual Places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the last cliffhanger for a bit!! But we finally have Yong!!!! Enjoy!!!

Varian paid little attention as he was shown around the castle. His tears had since stopped, but the emptiness had settled itself nicely at the bottom of his stomach. He felt lost, what was he supposed to do from here? Was it worth trying to escape? Where would he go if he did? He felt lifeless, useless, like a broken doll. And wasn’t that ironic, Hugo had called him doll numerous times, only now did he get the implications. He had been nothing more than a toy for Coronan politics. Used however the royals saw fit, only to be tossed aside at the smallest crack on the surface. He no longer held any value to them, and yet he wanted to go back, fall back in line begging to be fixed. Because even the terrible dullness of conformity was better than this emptiness and brokenness he felt now. 

“This is it. Your new home.” His guide announced, stopping them in front of a set of large double doors. The words hit harder than they should’ve. He didn’t  _ want  _ this to be his home. He didn’t want  _ any  _ of it. He shuddered at the thought of this becoming _ home.  _ He could feel tears welling in his eyes again as he wrapped his arms around his middle, in a sad attempt at comfort. He hated this, he hated the stupid outfit he felt so exposed and vulnerable. He hated it all. His bottom lip trembled with the threat of oncoming sobs. The woman’s eyes softened as she gently lifted his chin. “Your room is the door right across the hall. If you need anything I’m right next door. Just stick to the schedule I gave you and you’ll do fine. Chin up, dear, it will all be okay.” 

Somehow he found that hard to believe, but he didn’t get to dwell on it, the door they were standing in front of swung open. A small boy stood in the doorway, his eyes wide in shock like he hadn’t expected anyone to be there. He wore an outfit that matched Trevor’s, the clothing absolutely swallowing him more so than it did Trevor. But that was where the similarities stopped. The boy had red eyes and dark hair, looking absolutely nothing like the king. “I, uh, wasn’t expecting anyone so soon.” The boy chuckled, backing up into the room when the woman made a face. “Where’s Mary?” 

His tour guide stepped into the room, gesturing for Varian to follow, a sad look in her eyes at the mention of the other woman. “She went into early retirement.” Varian shuddered at the implication of the words that were thankfully lost on the small boy. “This is her replacement. He’s a little closer to your age, so the two of you will get along great, don’t you think?” 

The boy scrunched up his nose as he looked Varian over. “I  _ guess. _ I still miss Mary though, she was nice.” 

“We all miss her, dear, but I know you’ll adjust quickly, you always do.” The woman said, quickly ruffle his hair as she headed to the door. “I’ll leave the two of you to it. Remember, stick to the schedule.” 

And then she was gone leaving Varian alone with the boy and no clue as to what he was supposed to be doing. He’d never really been around children, he really wished he’d paid more attention, but he wasn’t exactly at fault that his mind had been a bit preoccupied with other things. He did just find out that his father died. It wasn’t a particularly easy thing to bounce back from. On top of that being thrown from situation to situation was not helping his already fragile mental state. He was slowly spiraling, the fabric around his chest feeling unbearably tight. He needed to get more air, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t- 

“Do you talk?” The boy asked, his eyebrows furrowed together slightly. 

“What?” Varian croaked out, his voice rough from his crying, the boy’s question snapping him out of his thoughts. 

“Oh, you’re just kinda standing there, not saying anything so I wasn’t sure. Not that my caretakers usually talk to me anyways.” The boy sounded sad, his own eyes darting to the ground. 

“Sorry. I’m kind of new to this whole thing, I guess.” Varian responded, loosening his grip on his own arms and taking an almost timid step forward like he was scared of spooking the younger, finding it odd that no one would speak to him. “Why don’t they talk to you?” 

The boy shrugged. “Don’t know. Guess they're scared of upsetting Trev- Dad.” He grimaced as the name left his mouth, the boy seemingly very uncomfortable with his situation. 

Varian’s heart went out to the kid. He completely understood being in a situation he wanted no part of, hell he was in one right now. “I’m sorry. I know it’s hard when you feel alone.” 

“Yeah. I just want to go home, but my village burned down. They keep saying I was the only survivor and I’m lucky to be here. I just- I miss my family.” Varian fought the urge to wrap the boy in a hug and sob into his hair. He knew Trevor was a jackass, but this was a whole new level. Who knew if the kid’s family was really dead or not, still he had the right to find out. 

“If you can help me and some  _ friends  _ get out of here, we can take you back to your village, see if we can find your family.” Varian said, making sure to lower his voice in case anyone was eavesdropping. The word ‘friends’ felt odd on his tongue, it wasn’t a word he’d use to describe the pirates, but he had told them he’d get them out of here, so he was going to at least try. What he was going to do from there he wasn’t sure yet. It would be hell to convince Hugo to take them to his village, they’d most likely have to find another way to get there. He would figure it out, maybe helping the boy reunite with his family would make him feel better about losing his. 

“You mean it?” He asked, his red eyes lighting up with hope at the possibility. Varian simply nodded, a tiny smile on his lips. It was all he could manage at the moment, he hoped it would be enough. “I have something I’ve been working on that might help us! I’m not  _ technically  _ allowed to have this stuff, but I manage.” 

The boy moved over to the large bed, sliding under it to grab something. “I’m Yong by the way! That’s not what most people here call me, it’s just what I prefer.” Yong jumped back up, placing a box onto the bed, then placing himself in front of it. “What’s your name?” 

Varian startled, still feeling oddly out of place in the room, as he watched Yong as he rifled through the box. “Varian.” He stepped a bit closer, his curiosity driving his desire to want to see what the other thought could help them. 

“Here we go!” Yong exclaimed, holding up what looked to be a firecracker in his hand. “This should be able to blow a hole in one of the walls. At the very least it’s a distraction.” 

Varian took the item in his hand, his eyebrows knitting together as he examined it. “Where did you get this? This is dynamite.” 

“I know! It’s pretty cool. There’s a whole supply of them down by the dungeons. That’s where I was heading when you arrived. I’m not exactly allowed down there so, yeah.” Yong explained, bouncing on his bed excitedly. 

Varian tapped the stick of dynamite to his chin, his eyes lighting up with an idea. His family may be gone, but that didn’t mean Yong’s was. If he couldn’t have his happy ending someone may as well get theirs. And he’d make sure Yong got his if it was the last thing he ever did. “You wouldn’t be able to show me, would you?” 

Yong smiled, getting up from his seat and handing a pair of goggles to Varian. “I thought you’d never ask.”

*************************

Hugo glanced out the window, the sun starting to dip behind the horizon. It was almost time, he’d spent the majority of the day memorizing the guards patterns as Nuru still looked for Varian. Hugo stood placing a hand on her shoulder. He didn’t want to say it, but they were both thinking it. The boy was likely already hung, with the mouth he had on him, Hugo was almost certain of it. He was almost sad when he thought about it, Varian had been a challenge he wasn’t expecting and most certainly not an unwelcome one at that. Although it was probably best for his mental sanity that the boy was no longer with them, whether he was dead or had ditched them. It was time to move on, and he wasn’t one that often looked back. “It’s time.” 

Nuru took a deep breath, stepping away from the bars. “Okay, let’s do this.” The sadness in her eyes quickly replaced with determination. 

“Shall I do the honors then?” Hugo teased, a sad attempt at lightening the mood. 

“Go right ahead, Captain.” Nuru responded, the smallest of smiles playing at her lips. Hugo simply nodded, pretending the name that used to bring such a swell of pride in him now stung. He’d be lying if he said the mutiny hadn’t hurt, he wasn’t exactly a team player, still it had been rather unexpected. Hugo pushed the thoughts from his mind, he couldn’t focus on that right now, he needed to get himself and Nuru out of here and probably steal a ship. He bent down, grabbing his lock pick from the inside of his boot, waiting for the guard to pass again before reaching around the cell door. It didn’t take long for the familiar click of the lock opening. 

Hugo swung the door open, gesturing for Nuru to lead the way. “After you.” 

Nuru slipped through, keeping her footsteps light as they made their way through the dungeons. It was terribly easy to get through the dungeons, most of the guards oblivious as to what was going on. The real challenge would be when they exited the dungeons. They knew almost nothing of the layout of the castle, they’d have to wing it and hope for the best. Still, it was satisfying as fuck when they burst out of the dungeons, the brightness of the castle halls harsh on their eyes. 

“Which way now?” Nuru asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet, ready to run should they need to. 

“Left.” Hugo decided, sprinting in the chosen direction, Nuru right behind him. He didn’t think as they came to the next fork, picking a random direction, quickly turning the corner and running straight into someone. He was able to stop himself from falling, grabbing the other person around the waist to stop them as well. 

“Hugo?” Varian blinked up at him, the gold around his eyes making the blue of them pop. Hugo was suddenly hyper aware of how close they were, his hand on the bare skin of the small of Varian’s back, Varian’s hands fisted in the fabric of Hugo’s shirt, the slight shine to his lips made him so badly want to close the gap between them and devour him then and there. His heart skipped a beat, he ignored it, instead doing the first thing that came to mind to get out of the situation, immediately dropping Varian. The younger yelping as he hit the ground. “What the  _ fuck, you jackass?!” _

“Nice to see you still have that attitude after obviously trying to leave us behind.” Hugo shot back, pointedly looking anywhere but at Varian and how wonderfully delicious he looked on the floor beneath him, his cheeks flushed red in anger, the outfit he wore showing more skin than was good for his sanity, the slight red to his eyes that looked like he had been crying. Wait, had he been  _ crying?  _ Why had he been crying? He felt the sudden urge to make him feel better, he pushed that feeling away as well, because what the fuck  _ was that? _ “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” Varian bit out, ignoring Hugo’s outstretched hand and getting up on his own. He quickly dusted off his pants, then adjusted the new goggles that were perched on top of his head. “I’ll have you know we were on our way to rescue you.” 

Hugo opened his mouth to respond, a new voice cutting him off. “Oh are these your friends?” 

“Friends?” Nuru repeated, stepping out from behind Hugo. Both of them looking at the small boy next to Varian. 

“For lack of a better word, yes, these are my  _ friends. _ ” Varian answered, although his tone implied anything, but friendly. His eyes narrowed slightly when he glanced at Hugo, and wasn’t that  _ adorable.  _

“Great! I’m Yong!” The boy greeted, sticking his hand out for Hugo and Nuru to shake. 

“The pleasure is all mine, I’m Nuru.” Nuru responded, shaking Yong’s hand, a soft smile on her lips. 

“Hugo.” He answered simply, ignoring Yong’s hand, instead offering a little wave. 

“It’s so nice-“ 

“The prisoners have escaped!” A guard yelled, the group of four startling at the sound. 

“Well, I guess that’s our cue. Time to blow this joint.” Hugo said with a smirk, already preparing to run. 

“Good thing we have something that’ll help with that.” Varian turned Yong around opening the bag on his back, it filled to the brim with explosives. 

Hugo’s eyes lit up as he pulled a stick of dynamite from the pack, a smug smile taking over his features. “Why didn’t you lead with that, Goggles? Let’s bring the place down.”


	14. Shockingly Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I have to say is Rosette gets me!!! Keep being you, babe!!! Enjoy!!

Nuru slid on her knees, rejoining the small group of four on the floor. Hugo immediately pulling her close and covering her head as the first set of explosives went off. The building shook, the guards yelling as they ran towards the noise. They didn’t stick around to find out what they were doing, moving further down the hall as Nuru lit another explosive, repeating the process. 

“Ready to get out of here?” Hugo asked, though he was fairly certain of the answer. 

“Let’s do this!” Yong said, pumping his fist in the air. That was all the answer Hugo needed, lighting the final stick of dynamite and tossing it further down the hall as the group made their way through the second hole. Hugo took a deep breath of the cool night air, he hadn’t even been in the cell a day and he already missed the open air. Even with the dust and the slight smell of explosives in the air, the smell was heavenly. Unfortunately he didn’t have time to relish in it, they still needed to get out. 

“Which way to the docks?” Nuru asked, looking behind them to make sure no one had come their way yet. 

“This way.” Yong answered, pointing to where the sea was visible on their left. 

“Let’s get going then.” Hugo said, Yong and Nuru already running in the direction that Yong had pointed out. Hugo was about to follow them when he noticed that Varian wasn’t with them. He glanced back to where they had burst through the wall, Varian leaned against the wall, his teeth grit together. “You coming, Goggles?” 

Varian nodded, pushing himself away from it and jogging up to Hugo. “Yeah.” Hugo’s eyebrows knitted together in concern, Varian sounded out of breath from just the one word. Something wasn’t right, but he had no time to figure it out, guards burst through the hole in the wall. 

“There they are!” A guard yelled charging towards them. 

“Fuck. We need to go, _now.”_ Hugo grabbed Varian’s wrist, pulling him into a sprint. He ignored the small shock that went up his arm at the contact, Varian letting out a small whimper that was so unlike Varian. He didn’t dwell on it, he couldn't, they didn’t have the luxury and the longer they stayed put the closer the guards got and the further away Yong and Nuru got. It didn’t take long for them to clear the castle grounds, bursting into the streets of the busy marketplace. He was grateful for his lighter clothing, the guards heavy armor making it harder for them to catch up and navigate through the crowds. What he didn’t like was that it was harder to spot the younger ones as people bustled around the marketplace. On top of that Varian was slowing down, his breaths becoming increasingly shallow. Until finally he stopped completely, Hugo quickly shoving him into the nearest alleyway. Varian immediately dropping to his knees, tears painting his cheeks in gold as the makeup ran with them. 

“Hugh… I- I can’t…” Varian’s eyes were glassy, hazy, and unfocused. Hugo’s chest felt heavy, his own eyes filled with worry as he looked over Varian, nothing looked wrong. There was no visible injury on him. 

“Var, what’s the matter? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.” Hugo said, getting down on the ground to be eye level with him. 

“I-“ Varian let out a whimper, his hands covering his own mouth to suppress it from turning into a scream. He fell forward, Hugo catching him before he face planted against the dirt. Varian was breathing heavy against his chest, just the mere contact sending jolts of electricity through Hugo’s veins, and not the good kind. The boy was twitching every so often, tears dampening the front of Hugo’s shirt. “You- you have to leave me. They’re coming. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Rapunzel.” 

Hugo frowned, did he think he was Rapunzel? He pushed the thought away just as quickly, it wasn’t important right now. He needed to get out of here. He’d given him permission to leave. He _told_ him to go. It’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? To be done with Varian, resign him to whatever fate the guards had in store for him, but he couldn’t do it. Instead he found himself looking for the source of the electric shocks. It was fairly easy to spot, the skin around the golden cuff on his ankle a bright red, if he had to guess the skin underneath would be almost black from burns. It was disgusting and just the thought made his stomach turn. He knew Trevor was a sick fuck but this was absolutely horrifying. He was disgusted with _himself_ for even thinking of subjecting Varian to this in the first place. He needed to get it off as soon as possible. Varian was mumbling incoherent thoughts, just like when he’d been shot, when _he_ had shot him. God that felt like eons ago. And yet it felt like yesterday. So much had changed since then, yet so little actually had. All he knew was he needed to get that thing off. He gently lifted his chin, trying to get through the haze of pain Varian was so clearly in. “Hey, I’m going to get this off of you, okay? Then we’ll find the others.” 

“Others? The others don’t know. I- I didn’t tell anyone. I swear I didn’t. Please, please, you have to believe me.” Varian said, desperately gripping the front of Hugo’s shirt, his voice frantic. What had happened to make him say these things? There was truly so little he knew about the other. They would be having quite the talk when Varian recovered. 

“I believe you, okay? I believe you.” Hugo reassured, Varian visibly relaxing until the next wave of electricity went through his body. He pulled the lock pick from his boot, fumbling with it a bit in his haste. Hugo grabbed a hold of the anklet, jerking his hand away when he was shocked. How in the _fucking hell_ had Varian been dealing with that? How _long_ had he been dealing with it? Perhaps he was stronger than he gave him credit because he sure couldn’t deal with this shit, he was barely managing as he held onto the anklet in an attempt to pick the lock. He was positive he wasn’t even getting the brunt of it. After what was too long in Hugo’s opinion the lock came undone. Hugo immediately removing the cursed thing and chucking it against the wall. Varian went limp, falling back against Hugo’s chest, his breathing still far too shallow. “It’s off. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” 

Hugo smoothed back Varian’s hair, the moment all too intimate and personal for his liking. He pushed him back, giving themselves slightly more space. “Are you okay to walk? We need to find the others?” There was no response, Varian’s body spasming as his eyes rolled back in his head. “Fuck.” Hugo mumbled, a bit unsure as to what to do. He supported his head, carefully laying him down when guards turned the corner. 

“Double fuck.” Hugo groaned, scooping Varian into a bridal carry, the other feeling terribly small against him. He needed to get them out of here. He ran as fast as he could, not at all being careful as to how he was jostling the boy around in his arms. He didn’t have time to be gentle as much as he would’ve liked to be, getting out with their heads still attached to their bodies was of more importance at the moment. He broke out back onto the main road, expertly dodging citizens, the extra weight he now carried not hindering him in the slightest. Now if he could only find the fucking docks. 

“Hugo!” He turned sharply at his name being called, Nuru waving to him from a nearby alley. He wasted no time in making his way over to her. The other’s relieved smile fading as soon as she spotted Varian in his arms. “What happened?” 

“Shock anklet. Fucked him up pretty bad.” Hugo huffed out between breaths, his own lungs burning from the exertion of the experience. “Please tell me you have a way out of here.” 

Nuru smiled again, gesturing for Hugo to follow her. “Since you asked so nicely, we _do_ have a way. It seems being the adopted son of a tyrant has its perks. This merchant practically _begged_ for us to take his ship once we explained who Yong was. You know it almost makes me miss being royalty.” 

“Never thought I’d hear you say that.” Hugo teased, a smirk on his lips. It faded as soon as he remembered Varian in his arms, concern taking over once again. 

“I thought you would’ve left him.” Nuru said, her eyes sparkling with curiosity as she glanced between the two. 

Hugo didn’t notice, his eyes solely focused on Varian. He looked like he’d been through hell, and frankly he had. Still, he looked so peaceful when he slept, but Hugo missed his sharp tongue more. Something about his unbreakable spirit absolutely entranced him. He was frustrating as hell, he knew how to get on Hugo’s last nerve, he was a know it all with a spitfire attitude to match, and it was all those reasons that Hugo could feel himself falling for the other. He was intoxicating, a drug he didn’t know he needed, he didn’t want to let him go, he didn’t want to fall for him. He was at war with himself, his heart fighting his head, and he didn’t want to choose. Still he knew deep down, in the part of himself that he’d long since locked away that given the choice he _would_ choose Varian. If Nuru pried he’d blame his exhaustion for the short, almost soft answer. “Me too.” 

Nuru simply hummed in response, Hugo completely missing her curious glance, all the pieces falling into place in her mind as she led them to their new ship. “Here it is.” She announced, pointing to the ship at the dock, Yong excitedly waving from the deck. 

Hugo grimaced, his distaste clear on his face. “That’s it?” He asked hoping beyond hope it was a joke. The tiny ship looked like it was barely staying afloat. It had one sail, the crates onboard stacked higher than they probably should be, and the outside had numerous planks covering patches in the ship. 

“That’s it! Beggars can’t be choosers. So if you’d much rather stay and get hung in the morning be my guest.” Nuru said, a teasing smile on her lips. Hugo glanced at the ship, highly considering just letting the guards take him away again, but Varian shifted in his arms and he knew he couldn’t let anything bad happen to him. He wouldn’t be the cause for anymore pain in Varian’s life. So, he stepped onto the plank, which he half expected to give way under his weight. When it didn’t he continued until they were safely on board, Yong immediately bounding over. 

“What happened?” He asked, eyeing Varian curiously. 

“I’ll explain later, but right now we need to get out of here.” Hugo responded, looking for a comfortable spot to set Varian down. 

“Don’t worry I’m already on it! Yong, I’m going to need your help. Hugo, take care of Varian.” Nuru commanded, already moving around the ship like she owned it. Hugo felt a small prick of jealousy in his chest, perhaps if _she_ had been captain the mutiny would’ve never taken place. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He shot back, his tone too bitter even for his own liking. If Nuru heard it, which he was fairly certain she did, she had the decency not to mention it. He quickly found the captain’s quarters, wanting to remove himself from the situation before he said something he regretted. He ignored the sting in his chest, setting Varian down on the bed. He was still getting him settled when Varian groaned, his eyes fluttering open. 

“Hugo?” His heart skipped a beat at his still dazed expression. 

“We’ve _got_ to stop meeting like this, sweet cheeks.” Hugo responded, painfully aware of how he was still positioned over him. To his surprise Varian provided no snarky comment, his lips didn’t curl in disgust at the nickname. Instead they curled into a soft smile, one that sent butterflies loose in his stomach, his heart beating fast and his cheeks, _his fucking cheeks,_ turning pink in a blush. 

“You didn’t leave.” Varian stated more than asked, moving slightly to prop himself up onto his elbows, unintentionally bringing them closer together. 

“I didn’t.” Hugo confirmed, slowly closing the gap between them. This time Varian didn’t protest or move away, there was no letter opener anywhere nearby. Instead his eyes briefly darted to Hugo’s lips, his eyes alight with something Hugo took as desire. They were so close, he could feel his breath intermingling with his. Then the ship jerked, causing them to hit their heads together instead of kiss, a fucking cockblock if he’d ever seen one. 

“What was that?” Varian asked, moving to stand up, Hugo cursing his luck that whatever spell had befallen them was already broken. He helped Varian up, keeping an arm wrapped around him as he helped him out onto the deck. 

“What’s going on?” Hugo asked, eyes darting between Yong and Nuru’s shocked faces as they turned from where they were looking into the ocean. 

“It’s the navy seals.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I know I said no more cliffhangers for a while but what can I say I’m a fucking liar! Seriously though this chapter was getting long and I need them seals!!! So hopefully after next our babies will get their break!!!


	15. Seals and Seals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y’all for all the kind comments!!! I’m glad y’all are enjoying the story!!! My self confidence isn’t the best so these kind words mean the world to me!! Enjoy!!!

His mind was once again a mess, his body once again in agony, on the brink of exhaustion, and yet his heart told him that everything was fine because he had Hugo with him.  _ Hugo,  _ who was the one who got him into this mess.  _ Hugo,  _ who was irritating and stuck up beyond compare.  _ Hugo _ , who had saved his life multiple times, but was also the one who was constantly putting it in danger.  _ Hugo,  _ who no matter how hard he tried to hate him, he just couldn’t bring himself to. Sure, most of him was annoying and all around terrible, but not all of him could be. Besides the times he’d helped him he caught small glints of something more human, and that was the Hugo he was dying to know,  _ that  _ was the Hugo he almost kissed. Fucking hell, he’d almost  _ kissed Hugo.  _

What would his dad say? He’d be so disappointed that the one time he’d shown interest in, well,  _ anybody,  _ it was a fucking pirate. He could hear the lecture now, see his disappointed stare, he was going to be pissed when he found- oh, he wouldn’t, would he? How could he have forgotten for a second his dad was dead. Killed by a pirate most likely, Trevor had said. He briefly glanced up at Hugo, the other smiling down at him softly as he helped him onto the deck, his arm holding him almost protectively to his side. There was no way it could’ve been Hugo, and he highly doubted it was Nuru. His only logical guess was that fucking prick Andrew. It was the only thing that made sense. He could feel his anger boiling in the pit of his stomach. 

Another attack rocked the boat, Varian stumbling, but Hugo tightening his grip around him, grabbing his arm as well to prevent him from falling over. Varian’s cheeks flushed from embarrassment, their close proximity and Hugo’s hands on his bare skin sending his heart pounding in his chest. Hugo didn’t seem to notice, his eyes narrowing in annoyance. “What the fuck are the navy seals?!” 

“Exactly what the name implies! Their  _ navy seals.”  _ Yong explained, looking over the railing as best he could, pointing to a, well, navy seal in the water. 

“Huh, what do you know.” Hugo said, sounding mildly impressed. And frankly so was Varian, he wasn’t sure what he had been expecting but it was certainly not a literal navy seal. 

“We need to get rid of them,  _ now!” _ Nuru called from where she was at the wheel. “At this rate we’ll be sunk in no time.” 

“We can’t stop them, they won’t stop until they get what they want.” Yong said, fear clear in his voice. 

“And I’m assuming that’s you?” Hugo asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. Yong nodding in response. 

“Well we’re not going to let that happen.” Varian said, his voice wavering slightly, still unsteady from the whole ordeal. He pulled away from Hugo, straightening as best he could. “What are our options?” 

“Um, I’m not sure.” Yong admitted. “I’ve never actually seen them before.” 

“Great.” Hugo frowned, glancing around the ship, before turning to Nuru. “You said this was a merchant ship, what exactly were they selling?” 

There was a collective shrug amongst the group, Hugo rolling his eyes at the response. Varian eyes the boxes around them, making his way over to the nearest stack. “It shouldn’t be hard to find out all we have to do is-“ Varian bit back a scream as pain wracked his body, leaving him barely enough time to stop himself from falling face first into the wood of the ship. His vision went black, his nerves burning like when he still had the anklet on. 

_ “Shouldn’t he have woken up by now?” Came a concerned female voice, he couldn’t see anything but he was fairly certain it was the queen.  _

_ “Yes.” Came another voice, this one he wasn’t sure he recognized at all. “But I did tell your majesty’s this is all very experimental.”  _

_ “What are our options?” Rapunzel, that was without a doubt- _

“Rapunzel?” Suddenly he was no longer in the dark, instead staring at the wooden planks of the ship. 

“No, still just me.” Varian brought his head up, Hugo kneeling down in front of him, his green eyes sparkling in concern. 

“Right.” He said, pushing himself onto shaky legs. “If we open some of these crates we should be able to find something that can help us.” 

The boat shook again, and Varian hated how he fell back into Hugo’s arms. The other still looking at him with that soft concerned look, like he was made of glass and something about it made his blood boil. “ _ You’re  _ not doing anything.  _ We _ are going to get these fucking seals off our asses. You need to rest.” 

_ “No,  _ I don’t. I’m  _ fine.”  _ Varian protested forcing himself out of Hugo’s grip once again, stumbling towards the nearest stacks of crates. 

“Var-“ 

“Stop it! Don’t treat me like a fucking piece of glass. I said I’m fine,  _ I’m fine.”  _ He didn’t look back at Hugo, his fingers digging harshly into the wood of the crate. This time he was able to bite back his scream, his shoulders shaking as another aftershock hit. 

“That’s not at all what-“ 

_ “-I’m implying. Euthanizing the boy would be an extreme measure don’t you think?” The queen again, he was almost positive it was her now.  _

_ “What other choice do we have? He’s not waking up, Quirin is getting suspicious, we can claim he died after the procedure. He did try to murder Rapunzel, it would be fair.” Ah, of course Frederic would say that, but he didn’t know the truth no one did.  _

_ “I’ve forgiven him.” Rapunzel said, he could almost see her twirling a strand of her hair between her fingers. “Are you sure there's-“ _

“-nothing you can do! I’m not trying to be a jackass, but these aftershocks can last a hell of a long time. You need time to recover.” Hugo said, placing a hand on his shoulder. When had he gotten so close? It didn’t matter, he was fine, this was  _ fine.  _ He could rest plenty once they were safe, but they weren’t right now and he needed to make sure that they were. He couldn’t save his father, he couldn’t lose them, he couldn’t lose anyone else. He  _ just couldn’t. _

“I can help. Please let me help.” He hated how desperate he sounded, his voice just loud enough for Hugo to hear. He needed to do this, to show he was more than just a bargaining chip, more than a noble in a stuffy outfit, more than a plaything or a servant. He  _ needed  _ to show his worth. 

“Varian, I can’t-“

_ “-let you do that. We need to find another course of action.” Rapunzel said he could hear her pacing.  _

_ “Then what do you suggest?” Frederic asked, Varian’s nose wrinkling in disgust despite the fact that just like he couldn’t see them, they couldn’t see him.  _

_ “We’ve been looking for a viable reason to cut off trade with Equis. We place him outside the borders, if he wakes up great, if not we blame Trevor. Simple as-“  _

“-that. Varian? Can you hear me?” Hugo was still there, standing in front of him, his hands terribly close to his on the wooden crate. 

“ _ I’m helping.” _ He said simply, his voice holding a tone of finality to it. There was no room for argument, he didn’t want one, he just wanted to help. He didn’t wait for a response, he didn’t know if Hugo was going to give one, instead he tore the top off the crate. He smiled, his confidence returning and his eyes lighting up with excitement when he saw what was inside. The crate filled to the brim with different chemicals. It seemed like luck was finally on their side. Varian reached for a glass vial, only to be stopped by Hugo grabbing his wrist. 

“We need to be careful. We don’t know what these do.” Hugo said, releasing his wrist. Varian rolled his eyes but he couldn’t necessarily argue, the chemicals could be anything. Didn’t people label their stuff anymore? 

“I know what I’m doing.” Varian insisted, picking up one of the vials and moving backwards away from the first stack of crates. “I may have dabbled a bit in alchemy. I’m not an expert or anything but I know my way around-“ Varian tripped, any of his previous confidence disappearing as he landed on his ass, the vial going overboard. It exploded as soon as it hit the water. “I, uh, guess we know what that does now.” 

“Excellent work, Goggles.” Hugo teased, offering a hand to help him up. Varian’s face flushed in embarrassment as he grabbed Hugo’s hand, letting him pull him up. “At least we know how to get rid of the seals.” 

“No!” Yong protested, rummaging through his own crate. “We can’t hurt the seals!” 

“We’re not going to hurt them, just cause a bit of noise to scare them away.” Varian reassured, placing a hand on Yong’s shoulder. 

“Whatever you’re going to do, do it quickly!” Nuru yelled, shooting a glance over her shoulder. Yong sighed, but nodded, giving his consent to continue with the plan. 

“Okay. Everyone pick a side and let’s lose these seals.” Hugo said, handing Yong and Varian some vials, his hand lingering on Varian’s. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine.” Varian reassured, giving Hugo’s hand a quick squeeze before taking his vials to his side of the ship, fixing his newly acquired goggles over his eyes. 

It didn’t take long for him to realize that he was admittedly not fine. Every step became harder, every little spasm that rocked his body was becoming increasingly harder to deal with, his hands shook, his vision blurred, and then there were those terrible visions that popped up every once in a while. He pushed through, stumbling as he launched vial after vial over the edge, pushing the visions away whenever they threatened to take over. It was fucking hell. Still he pushed through, grabbing another vial ready to throw it overboard. He startled, turning sharply when Hugo grabbed his wrist. “It’s over. They're gone for now.” 

Hugo pushed Varian’s goggles up into his hair, Varian lowering his arm but still allowing Hugo to keep a hold of his wrist. “Oh. I was just making sure.” 

“Sure, let’s pretend I believe that.” Hugo glanced to where his hand was around his wrist, moving his thumb over the underside of it. Varian’s face turned bright red when he moved his hand to Varian’s interlinking their fingers. Their eyes meeting as Hugo offered him a lopsided smile that sent Varian’s heart into overdrive. “You look like shit.” 

Varian smiled sheepishly, briefly glancing down at himself and grimacing. He really needed to get out of this stupid outfit. Even so when he responded it held none of the bite it usually did, purely teasing and perhaps something more beneath the surface. “Thanks, so do you.” 

Time seemed to stop. For once in a long time Varian felt at peace, truly happy in the moment, he squashed the feeling immediately, guilt overtaking the feeling of happiness. How dare he be happy when his father was dead? He pulled his hand away, ignoring the confusion and slight hurt on Hugo’s face. “I- I think I’m just, uh, I’ll rest now.” 

He made his way back across the deck, heading straight for the captain’s quarters. He didn’t want to hear Hugo’s protests or see the concerned look in his eyes, he just wanted time to himself, to finally properly grieve. He quickly shut the door, sliding down it and pulling his knees to his chest, sobbing into them as he thought of all the things he’d never get to do with his dad. He certainly had never been the best dad, but he still cherished their time together, and it all just fucking hurt. He wanted it to stop, he wanted to stop hurting, physically and mentally. He needed a break, couldn’t he get a  _ fucking break? _

****************

Ulla frowned glancing between the horizon and her compass, her copper hair blowing in the wind behind her. Time was running out, slowly but surely. The sun glared on her back, a harsh reminder of what she’d never have, never feel again. Did her son even get her letter? She knew Quirin had been pissed when she left, but she never thought he was that petty, to keep him from her. He was old enough to make his own decisions now. She just hoped he’d choose to come. The water lapped against the ship, one of the few reminders that time continued to move without her. The tall rocks on either side of the ship more looming than normal. And then there was the soft iridescent green of the seal that kept her here. Soon, she prayed,  _ soon  _ she’d be  _ free. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I know nothing about medical stuff and I read on the ever reliable internet that after electrocution one can experience aftershocks for up to five days so that’s what’s happening!!! Don’t know how accurate that is but we rollin with it!!!


	16. I need to want you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep forgetting to say this!! But some chapters have art now!!! I’ve gotten many lovely pieces for this fic and it just astounds me!!! Also a bit of a warning for this chapter!! There is a character death!! And it’s a wee bit graphic I guess!! Other than that enjoy!!!

Smoke rose in the air, Cassandra taking in as much of the scent as she could. It was wonderful. Nothing made her day like a job well done. The fire was hot, but she paid it no mind as she moved around the flames to her target. “I’ll give you one last chance, tell me where they went or I’ll  _ skin you alive.”  _ Cassandra hissed, pointing her gun menacingly at the man’s temple. 

“I told you, we threw them overboard. If they didn’t make it to shore they most likely drowned. So, your guess is as good as mine.” He responded with a smirk. 

“There are two rowboats missing. They are alive. How do I know you didn’t help them escape?” Cassandra sneered, leaning in close, her teeth bared. 

“You don’t.” The man shrugged, seemingly too comfortable in this situation. It irritated her to no end. 

“You’re wasting my fucking time.” Cassandra stepped back, her finger moving to the trigger on her gun. 

“Wait.” Cassandra moved her finger away, she may be trigger happy but she wasn’t about to let the chance for information slip through her fingers. “I may have something that might help. Not where they are for sure, but possibly where they are headed.” 

Cassandra moved the gun away, an eyebrow raised as a smug smirk played on his lips. Fucking hell she couldn’t  _ wait _ to slap it off his face. “I’m listening.” 

“Oh, my information doesn’t come for free.” He laughed, leaning back against the mast he had been tied to, the majority of the crew already dead at her feet. She heard a scream not too far off. So Caine was still hunting the stragglers down, may whatever higher power the little rats believed in have mercy on their souls. 

“And what exactly do you want?” Cassandra asked, keeping her posture straight and her expression uninterested. Her instructions were clear, bring Varian back dead or alive, she didn’t really care which she just needed a body to drag back to Corona. 

His smirk twisted into something more sinister, something that even sent a rising sense of nausea in her stomach. “When we find him, I want a night  _ alone  _ with him.” 

She kept her expression neutral despite the fact that she wanted to so badly strangle the sick fuck in front of her. “I can agree to that.” She was not successful in keeping the bite out her tone, but she figured it was okay if she got her information. 

“The ex-captain wanted to take him to Equis, sell him to the king.” 

“Equis?” Cassandra repeated, of course it would have to be Equis of all places, as much as she knew logically that’s where they were most likely to head, she had been hoping to avoid it. This really fucking sucked. If Varian wasn’t already dead when they found him, she might have to do it herself, the kid was more trouble than he was worth. “Very well. Thank you for your cooperation but I don’t tolerate sick bastards such as yourself.” 

She ignored the man’s protests as she leveled the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. She laughed as his brains splattered against the mast, some of his blood creating small droplets across her face. Oh,  _ yes,  _ it had been  _ far  _ too long. She moved away from the scene, grabbing a rope and swinging over back to her ship, Caine already waiting at the wheel. “Blow the bastards to hell, we’re headed to Equis.” 

*******************

_ Varian swung his feet back and forth from his perch on Rapunzel’s bed, busying himself with eating the pastry in front of him as Rapunzel paced the floor. Days like this were always so terribly boring, and Rapunzel always got so terribly antsy. He supposed it was better than being in the court meeting. Rapunzel certainly didn’t think so.  _

_ “I mean I’m eighteen now, don’t you think I should be in these meetings?! But no. Dad says I’m not ready. How am I supposed to be ready when he won’t let me out of this stupid tower?!” Rapunzel grabbed at her hair, twirling a bit of it between her fingers.  _

_ “Why don’t you just sneak out? I do it all the time. Dad hardly notices when I’m gone.” Varian responded, wiping a bit of the leftover powder onto his pants. His dad wouldn’t be happy about that, but when was he ever with anything Varian did.  _

_ Rapunzel’s eyes lit up, as she surged forward grabbing Varian’s shoulders. “Varian! You genius! That’s a wonderful idea!” Of course it was, she never acknowledged when he was venting, choosing instead to pick out the bits that were useful to her. She placed a kiss to the top of his hair. “I’ll sneak out and be back before the meeting’s over! They’ll never know!”  _

_ “How do you plan on doing that?” He asked, although he already had a sneaking suspicion about where this was going.  _

_ “With your help, silly.” Rapunzel laughed, pulling him to his feet. “It was your idea after all!”  _

_ “I don’t know, Rapunzel. I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He admitted. There were too many unknown variables, so many things that could go wrong.  _

_ Rapunzel pouted, placing a hand on her hip and the other on his shoulder. “It’s just this one time, I’ll be back in no time.  _ **_I promise._ ** _ ”  _

_ It wasn’t the only time. He began to dread going to the castle. Rapunzel asking him to help her sneak out nearly every time he visited. It was draining and he was tired of it, but he didn’t want to upset her. She was his only friend after all, he couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t keep doing this though, they would be caught soon, he just knew it. He watched as Rapunzel settled the hood of her cloak on top of her head.  _

_ “Rapunzel, I can’t do this anymore. We’re going to get caught.” Varian said, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.  _

_ “We haven’t so far.” Rapunzel countered, fixing him with a glare as she crossed her arms over her chest.  _

_ “I know, but I think my dad knows something is up. He’s been asking questions on our way home.” Varian explained, looking anywhere but at Rapunzel.  _

_ “And what have you been telling him?!” Rapunzel demanded, shaking him by the shoulders. He winced, stepping back out of her reach.  _

_ “Nothing. I haven’t said anything.” He answered, eyeing her warily.  _

_ Rapunzel let out a sigh, fixing her hair. “Right, sorry. I’m just a bit on edge. Eugene said he has something important to tell me.”  _

_ “That’s great, and I’m really happy for you, but I can’t help you anymore. I’m sorry.” Varian said, inching closer to the door.  _

_ “Wait.” Varian froze, turning to face her, her green eyes sparkling with an idea. He  _ **_hated_ ** _ that look, it always got him in trouble. “I have an idea.” She must’ve sensed his hesitance, because she pulled him away from the door, placing one of her signature smiles on her face. “Everything is going to be okay, just follow my plan exactly, and we’ll be fine.  _ **_I promise.”_ **

_ She was wrong, she always was when she said those words. Still he listened and played his part, holding out hope that her promise would ring true. It didn’t and he had to pay the price, he had to suffer while she got to live her life as if nothing had happened. As if she hadn’t betrayed him, lied to him, taken advantage of his trust. And all he was left with was  _ **_a broken mind and a broken promise._ **

**_And it was all her fault._ **

***********************

Varian’s eyes shot open, his chest heaving up and down as he tried to suck in as much air as he could. His head was spinning, still clouded by the haze of sleep, his eyes puffy from crying himself to sleep, his body sore from falling asleep against the door along with the other abuse it had been through over the past few days. What the  _ fuck  _ was that dream? It was a dream, wasn’t it? Something in the back of his mind whispered it wasn’t. But if it wasn’t, what was it and why didn’t he remember it at all? There were so many questions, he’d have to ask his da- oh, he couldn’t do that anymore either. Why did everything had to fucking suck? He squeezed his eyes shut again, burying his head in his knees, his chest aching from the effort it took to get air into his lungs. He couldn’t breathe and he knew the position wasn’t helping, but he couldn’t move. The room felt terribly small, and it continued to shrink in around him, pushing all the air from his lungs as his fingers dug harshly into his arms. He needed air, but he couldn’t breathe. He needed to get out, but he couldn’t move. He needed to do something,  _ anything _ at this point. Instead he was trapped in the horrible recesses of his mind. He couldn’t stay here. He couldn’t  _ fucking breathe _ . He needed- he needed, he didn’t know what he needed, but it certainly wasn’t this. He just needed- a knock sounded at the door behind him, the vibrations sending waves through his body that reminded him so terribly of the shocks he had experienced. 

“Hey, Goggles, you still in there? I don’t mean to bug you but you’ve kinda got the only room held hostage and Yong is pretty tired, so…” Hugo’s voice came through the other side of the door, trailing off at the end, but Varian could still hear the scuffing of his boots as he shifted from foot to foot. It was enough to pull Varian from his panic. He realized in that moment what he needed, he needed a distraction, he needed  _ Hugo. _

He forced himself to his feet, scrubbing his face in a sad attempt to clear away any signs of his tears. “I’m here.” He called, his voice cracking a bit as he opened the door. “Sorry.” 

Yong wasted no time, running straight for one of the two beds and wiggling beneath the blankets. Varian smiled slightly, ignoring Hugo’s concerned look as he glanced between Varian and the two, well, one made up bed and one previously made up bed. “Di-“ 

Varian held up his hand, cutting Hugo’s words off. “I’m fine. I-I just need a distraction, please.” His words were barely above a whisper, meant for Hugo’s ears only. 

“Okay. Keep me company while I steer then?” Hugo asked, offering his arm for Varian to take. He wasn’t sure why he did, but he felt infinitely more steady with his arm linked in Hugo’s. His heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest, but in a good way as they made their way up the deck and to Nuru. He didn’t pay attention to their conversation, instead slipping back into mind. What would he do from here? Once Yong got back to his family, where would he go? Was home even an option anymore? “You wanna talk about whatever’s eating you?” 

Varian startled slightly, not even realizing when Nuru left or when Hugo had moved behind the wheel. He looked up at the sky, the last of the stars still twinkling with the rising sun. “My dad’s dead. Found out in Equis, from Trevor.” 

Hugo didn’t say anything for a while, he almost thought he wouldn’t. “That sucks.” 

Varian couldn’t help but snort out a laugh at that. “Yeah, it really does.” He brought his eyes down to meet Hugo’s, the other staring at him with an odd expression on his face. “You really suck at comforting.” 

This time Hugo startled, breaking whatever odd trance he’d been in, a soft smile instead taking over. “I never said I was good at it.” Varian laughed again, Hugo’s smile widening. “I did get you something though. Found those in one of the crates, thought you might want a change of clothes.” 

He turned to where Hugo had pointed, his eyes lighting up at the small pile of clothing behind him. “Thank fuck, it’s like you read my mind.” Varian quickly grabbed the clothes, moving behind a crate to get changed. The crates didn’t hide him completely, but they did at least hide the necessities. Still he made quick work of changing, not knowing if Hugo was watching him or not. His face flushed red at the thought of Hugo possibly watching as he changed, a small flutter of excitement in his chest. Once he was done he stepped out of his little hiding space feeling a hell of a lot better. The simple white shirt was about two sizes too big, held in place by a belt around his waist, which in itself had various pouches he could possibly store chemicals in. The pants were once again simple, a brown color, stopping just above his ankles, tucked into calf high black boots. He was still in the process of slipping on the black fingerless gloves that looked near identical to Hugo’s if it weren’t for the extra long fabric that went well past his wrists, when he stopped in front of him. Varian fiddled with them trying to remove the golden bracelets so the gloves would properly fit. 

“You should leave those on.” Hugo said, Varian’s eyes snapping up to meet his. “The bracelets, you should leave them on.” Hugo clarified, reaching out and taking his hand. 

“They don’t fit. At least not with the gloves, and I’d prefer to have the gloves over the- oh.” Varian glanced down, Hugo smiling at his handy work, the golden bracelet fitting perfectly over the extra fabric of the gloves. 

“Perfect.” Hugo remarked, keeping Varian’s hand in his as they stared into each other’s eyes. Varian felt his heart rate pick up again as he stared back into those wonderful green eyes. He could stare at them forever, he  _ wanted  _ to stare into them forever, and wasn’t that a scary thought? A few days ago he’d have never thought he’d be feeling like this for someone he knew near nothing about. And yet, here he was, falling for the pirate who had turned his life upside down. “Dance with me?” 

Varian couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped from his lips. “What?” 

“You said you needed a distraction, so dance with me.” Hugo said, pulling Varian slightly closer until their bodies we’re almost touching. 

“Don’t you have to steer the ship?” Varian asked, keeping his focus on Hugo’s eyes, and not how close they were, and  _ definitely  _ not on how their hands were still linked together. 

“It’ll survive on its own for a few minutes.” Hugo answered, setting his other hand on Varian’s waist and adjusting his grip on the other. Varian nodded, the response late, but it didn’t matter as he placed his free hand on Hugo’s shoulder. There was no music, only them and the rising sun to guide their steps. Hugo was a lot more graceful than he had been expecting, easily guiding them through the dance as Varian consistently tripped over his own feet. One would almost think  _ Hugo  _ was the one with the noble upbringing. “Don’t worry about the steps, just move in accordance with your emotions. They’ll guide you.” 

“It’s hard, okay?” Varian complained, pouting as he looked at their feet, trying to match Hugo’s steps. 

Hugo removed the hand from his waist, gently lifting his chin so they were looking into each other’s eyes again. “Eyes on me then. Tell me about yourself.” 

Varian laughed, throwing his head back. “What do you want to know? I’m not really all that interesting.” 

Hugo smiled softly, that same look from before on his face. “You are to me.” 

Varian blushed, involuntarily looking down once again. He didn’t understand how Hugo could say that after everything they’d been through. Wasn’t he sick of him yet? “How can you say that? I stabbed you.” 

“And I shot you.” Hugo shot back, a small glint of amusement in his eye. 

This didn’t make any sense and yet his heart said otherwise. “You’ve made my life hell.” 

Hugo laughed, pulling him closer still as they stopped their dance. “And you’ve made mine full of life. You don’t find an attitude like yours everyday, sweet cheeks.” 

“I- I don’t know what to say.” Varian removed his hand from Hugo’s, wrapping them instead around his neck. 

Hugo tilted Varian’s chin up, leaning down slightly, his voice barely above a whisper. “Then don’t say anything.” 

Varian’s eyes darted between Hugo’s eyes and lips, debating on what he should do, what he  _ wanted _ to do. He knew the answer, and with no one left to disappoint why should he continue to deny himself what he truly wanted. He closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together in a passionate kiss. He let Hugo devour his lips as Hugo trapped him between himself and the wheel. He tangled his fingers in his hair, losing himself to the new pleasure filled haze, until he finally had to pull away for air. His chest heaving for an entirely different reason than when he’d first gotten up. Hugo placed a softer, more chaste kiss to his swollen lips, moving some of his hair out of his face, a teasing smile on his own lips. “How was that for a distraction?” 

  
Varian smiled up at Hugo, resting his chin on his chest. “It was the best I could’ve asked for.” Hugo claimed his lips once again as Varian relished in the sensation. This was certainly not what he had expected when Corona had been raided, but he now had something he didn’t even know he needed and he wasn’t going to let go anytime soon. Maybe even once Yong was safe back at his home, he’d stay and sail the seas with Hugo. Because in that moment  _ this  _ was all he needed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeee!! We got smooches and Andrew mcdead!!! And a flashback!! I spoiled y’all with this one!!!


	17. Emotions are Tricky Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaa I’m feeling really iffy about this chapter I worked with two characters I never really work with and the chapter after a big event is always rough for me for some reason!! Anyways I hope y’all enjoy!!!!

Hugo smiled against Varian’s lips, he may have imagined this before, but nothing compared to the real thing. He planned to cherish every second he got, knowing that once Varian’s emotions calmed down he’d likely never get another chance to do this. He was simply a distraction for the moment, he was fine with it really, he knew deep down Varian could never fall for someone like him. So he would happily take what he could get. Part of him wished he was still in that servants outfit. He’d give anything to trail kisses down those freckles on his shoulders, down his chest, he wondered if the gold paint around his belly button was still there so he could kiss it off. Hugo pulled away from Varian’s lips, moving to place kisses along his jawline and down his neck. Varian’s hands moved to grip the front of Hugo’s shirt, keeping him from pushing their bodies any closer, but he didn’t push him away so Hugo took it as permission to continue. He moved to his collarbone, smiling as he tugged the sleeve of Varian’s shirt down a bit, exposing more of his freckled skin. He smiled against it when he let out a small whimper, he could imagine his blue eyes rolling back as he lost himself in the pleasure. 

Unfortunately it was not to be, Varian pulled him back up to his lips again, placing softer, less lust filled kisses to his lips. It was almost too sweet, Varian’s lips tasting like an odd mixture of metal, chemicals, and already carrying the salty taste that came with being at sea. It was addicting and intimate in a way that was far beyond his comfort zone. He’d be much more comfortable flipping Varian around and taking him over the wheel of the ship, but whatever was starting to bubble at the bottom of his stomach, these  _ emotions _ , of wanting to keep him forever, to actually put Varian and his needs first, to protect him no matter the cost, for him to be  _ happy  _ above all else, those were things he definitely didn’t want, he didn’t  _ want  _ to feel these things. But Varian didn’t seem to be comfortable with the first thing, and he may be a pirate but he still believed in consent, he wasn’t a fucking savage. So he opted to pull away, pressing their foreheads together, so that he didn’t start devouring him again, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself if he went too far. Varian, however, seemed content. 

“What now?” Varian asked, wrapping his arms around Hugo’s middle. 

“Whatever you want, sweet cheeks.” Hugo answered. He hated how he meant the words, he hated how hard he was falling. He hated how every second he spent in Varian’s company he wanted to become a better person, he wanted to be someone Varian deserved. Not the filthy pirate captain, not the murderer, not the con artist, but something better, something  _ more. _ It was a terrifying feeling he’d never had before, one he wanted to squash. One look into Varian’s eyes told him he was fighting a losing battle. 

Varian smiled, his front teeth sticking out amongst his otherwise perfect teeth, but that little imperfection was what sent his heart fluttering. He didn’t get to stare for long, Varian turning in his grip and grabbing the wheel. “Teach me how to sail?” 

Hugo blinked, of all the things Varian could say he was not expecting that. But then again Varian never did what was expected of him. Hugo took Varian’s hands guiding them to the proper positions on the wheel, keeping his over Varian’s once they were settled. “It’s really easy. You just pick a direction and go. It’s just you and the sea, no expectations, no boundaries. Whatever you want, it’s yours.” 

“Sounds wonderful.” Varian said, leaning back against Hugo, and resting his head back on his shoulder, his eyes starting to flutter closed. 

Hugo placed a kiss to his cheek, leaning down so he could whisper in his ear. “Where do you want to go, sweet cheeks? The world is ours.” 

He frowned when his words did not have their desired effect, Varian stiffening in his grip. He didn’t turn around, Hugo still sensing his hesitation as Varian’s eyes darted to the ground. “Uh, well, I may have prom-  _ told _ Yong that we’d help him find his family.” 

Hugo stiffened this time, anger bubbling in his chest. It was stupid, it was so so stupid, but he was getting really tired of everyone giving orders and demanding things when  _ he  _ was the captain. He turned Varian harshly, regretting it the instant he saw his panicked expression. “You did  _ what?”  _

“I- I just told him we’d help him find his family. He could still have one out there.” Varian explained frantically. 

“And why would you do  _ that?  _ You didn’t even check with us first. Who gave you the authority to make that decision?!” Hugo argued, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. 

“Oh I’m sorry, when exactly was I supposed to ask your gracious one for permission? Huh? Was it somewhere between when I had just found out my dad had  _ died _ and when I was getting  _ electrocuted _ ? Or perhaps when we were attacked by fucking  _ seals? _ Oh, I know.” Varian laughed, the sound harsh and bitter, leaving Hugo feeling like he’d been slapped, guilt settling in his gut. “Was it when you had your fucking tongue shoved down my throat? Was I supposed to ask  _ permission then?!”  _

“Hey, you initiated that kiss!” Hugo shot back despite himself. He hated how it was his default to lash out and argue, hurt briefly flashing across Varian’s face before it was replaced by anger. 

“You’re right, and it was a  _ fucking mistake.”  _ Varian pushed Hugo away, moving out of where he had been trapped by the wheel. “You can drop us off at the next port, then we’ll be out of your way. That’s what you wanted isn’t it? Or did you think you could get a good fuck first, then toss me aside like every other one of your whores?” 

Hugo stepped back, did he really think so poorly of him? He really shouldn’t be surprised, he’d done it before, but somehow it hurt more when Varian said it. He bit his tongue trying not to take the insult personally, Varian had been through a lot and he was likely lashing out. It didn’t make it okay, it didn’t make it hurt less, he was just trying to be more level headed because of it. He didn’t want to push Varian too far, or over the delicate edge his emotions currently teetered on. “Varian, that’s not what this is. That’s not what I meant. I’m-“ No, not sorry, never sorry. Don’t back down, don’t admit defeat. That’s what Donella always told him. “I’ll drop you off at the next port if that’s what you really want.” 

He turned his back to him, grabbing the wheel perhaps a bit too harshly, he just couldn’t look at Varian. He didn’t want to see the hurt, the anger, the sadness, that was all directed at him. He knew Varian had a lot on his plate, but so did he. And just because their problems were different it didn’t make  _ his _ any less important. His own crew had staged a mutiny, tossing him aside like he was nothing, like he was making Varian feel. Shit. He hated how it all circled around to Varian, he was easily becoming the center of his universe. He hadn’t even thought about what Donella would think about all of this. He was so royally  _ fucked. _

He heard Varian shuffling behind him, it took all his willpower not to turn around. “I- if his family is still out there, doesn’t he deserve to be with them.” 

Hugo sighed, his shoulders dropping from their stiff position. Ah, so that’s what this was. He knew from personal experience trying to fill that emptiness that Varian was surely feeling would only lead to heartbreak or worse. “Reuniting him with his family won’t bring back yours.” 

“I know. It’s just- I have to do this, okay?” He turned around this time, Varian was hunched in on himself, looking far too small for his liking. All of his anger gone, leaving just the hurt and sadness. 

Hugo closed the distance between them, pulling Varian into a tight hug. Trying not to let Varian’s stiffness bother him. “Then we’ll do it together.” 

“But-“ 

“I know I said some shitty things and I’m not the best person in the world, but I give you my word, for what it’s worth, I am going to help you find his family. Not because you  _ demanded  _ it, but because I really care for you.” He couldn’t believe the words as they left his mouth, a weight lifting off his shoulders at the verbal confession of his feelings. Varian relaxed in his grip, wrapping his arms around him in return, keeping his head buried in his chest. And despite his desire to kiss him all over again, this felt right and infinitely more intimate. After a few moments he pulled back slightly, gently lifting Varian’s chin so he was looking in his eyes. “And I swear when I find the jackass that killed your dad I’ll slit their throat myself.” 

Varian smiled, his eyes watery with unshed tears. “Thank you. I really care for you too, and it’s fucking terrifying.” 

Hugo moved a few stray strands of hair out of Varian’s face, bringing his hand down to cup his face. “I know, but we’ll figure it out together. I’m not letting you go that easily.” 

“We have a lot of shit to work out.” Varian laughed, slowly closing the space between them. 

“We do, but I’m willing to try if you are.” Hugo felt odd saying the words, he’d never been in an actual relationship before and he already knew it was going to be a hell of a lot of work. They’d just gone from making out to arguing in mere seconds. Part of him wished Varian would say no so he wouldn’t have to do any of the hard work relationships required, but he knew Varian would be worth it. 

“I am.” Varian responded, and it was all the invitation Hugo needed to claim Varian’s lips. The kiss was softer, the two taking their time to appreciate the softness of it. It was strange to Hugo, but he was finding that he actually quite enjoyed it. It was a nice change from the frantic, passion filled, make out sessions he was used to. He didn’t want it to stop, something about the soft intimacy made him feel wanted,  _ truly wanted _ . It was perfect, and sure they had a lot of problems to work through, but that was a problem for future Hugo. He was just content in the moment. 

Eventually Varian pulled away, Hugo running his thumb over his flushed cheeks as he slowly came down from his own pleasure filled high. Hugo pecked his lips one last time, grabbing Varian’s hand and leading him back towards the wheel. “Why don’t I actually teach you to sail?” 

Varian smiled, giving a slight nod. “I’d love that.” 

********************

Donella tapped her fingers against her desk, watching closely as Cyrus explained the situation to her, making sure she caught every little movement of his hands. Once he was done she ran her hands over her face. Of course there had been a mutiny because why the fuck not? All of her hard earned treasure gone, her ship gone, Hugo- who the hell knew where Hugo was. The dumbass hadn’t even sent any form of communication to let her know he was okay. She may be harsh on him, but he wouldn’t learn from coddling. She needed him to be strong, tough, and show no mercy in the face of danger if he was to take over one day. He needed to be a strong captain. At the very least she knew he was safe for the moment, if Cyrus was to be believed, which he was, then Hugo along with Nuru and his recent plaything had escaped unharmed. Thankfully Cyrus had made it back to them before they had to face Corona’s ship. She hoped the crew that dared overthrow Hugo was torn to pieces. 

“Did you see what direction they were headed?” She asked, moving her hands in accordance with the words that left her mouth. Logically she knew they’d probably head to Equis, it’s where he  _ said  _ he was going to sell the boy, but Hugo had a terrible habit of getting attached to things and she’d rather not have to put a bullet in another one of his toy’s heads. 

_ “West, towards Equis.”  _ Cyrus responded, Donella’s frown deepening. It was inconvenient. Corona’s ship was likely headed there as well, but if they could gather intel and stock their ship quickly they should be in and out before the dense Coronans even noticed they were there. 

“Set a course for Equis. We’re going to drag that boy back kicking and screaming if we have to.” Donella ordered, Cyrus giving a slight nod of his head before exiting her chambers. She slumped down in her chair as soon as the door clicked shut. Why couldn’t Hugo just do as he was told? Didn’t he know she had his best interest at heart? No matter, she’d have to have a long talk with him once he was back. Perhaps she had been too harsh when she threatened him, she’d have to make sure he understood that she cared. But just the thought of expressing her emotions through words was enough to set her on edge. She’d have to think of something else, perhaps a new ship would do. That would certainly help take his mind off the loss of his latest toy. She smiled to herself, soon things would be back to normal and Hugo would be safe and happy again, maybe not at first but  _ eventually _ he’d see things her way. 


	18. You Can Run From the Past, But You Can’t Escape the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Var and Hugo get to know a bit about each other’s pasts, Hugo and Nuru plan for the future. This chapter is dedicated to my dearest friends grilled cheezer and Ace for witnessing a most historical event in my life. I love y’all and thanks for being there!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hugo sat on top of a few stacked crates, rummaging through the contents as he watched Varian at the wheel. He looked natural there, like he belonged, it was making him think that maybe Varian really was Ulla’s son. He had caught on to the basics unusually fast, he was a natural, a fast learner, and it was absolutely infuriating. He remembered how long it took for him to get the hang of it, Donella dishing out odd punishments when he couldn’t remember the proper terminology for something, or when he accidentally turned the sails in the wrong directions. Varian seemed to have none of those problems, easily catching on to everything he threw his way. And it left Hugo an odd mix of attracted and jealous. The jealousy faded when he remembered how his current position gave him a lovely view of Varian’s ass. An ass that now belonged to him. He smiled at the thought, Andrew may have gotten the ship with all the gold, but Hugo had made out with the real treasure,  _ literally. _

Varian turned then, his buck toothed smile on full display, it slipped off his face when he noticed what exactly Hugo was staring at. “Were you-“ 

“Yup.” Hugo’s smile turned smug as Varian’s face turned bright red. He adjusted his stance, turning slightly so he was facing Hugo better. Hugo chuckled at the action, it was funny really how easily embarrassed Varian was. 

“So, uh, tell me about yourself?” Hugo laughed louder at the change in topic. Varian’s face still red as he desperately tried to talk about  _ anything  _ else. Although, it could be from the sun, it was a particularly hot day already, and he couldn’t recall the last time any of them had anything to eat or drink. He really hoped he’d find something in the crates. As for now he’d only found more unhelpfully unlabeled chemicals, a few odd trinkets, books, and more clothing. It wasn’t looking good and he really didn’t want to make a stop at a port so soon after their rather explosive escape from Equis. He blew a strand of hair out of his face in frustration. This really fucking sucked. He’d probably have to send a letter or something to Donella soon, and that was something he really didn’t want to do. He didn’t know how she would respond. Should he tell her about Varian? Or was that something he should surprise her with when they inevitably met up? Did they even have to meet up? What if he just never sent word he was okay? He could sail the seas with Varian at his side, free to do what he wanted. But he couldn’t do that, could he? Donella had taken him in, he couldn’t just turn his back on her. It just seemed like problem after problem wouldn’t stop popping up. And then there was still the question of Varian’s parentage. Was he really Ulla’s son? How much would it change things? Should he even tell Varian? Should he even tell  _ Donella? _ There were too many unknown variables and it was driving him insane. 

“Hugh?” Hugo’s heart fluttered a bit at the nickname, Varian bent in front of him, waving a hand in front of his face. “You spaced out for a second, you okay?” 

“Hmm?” Hugo straightened at the concerned look on Varian’s face, right he had asked a question. “Sorry, sweet cheeks, guess I just got lost in your eyes.” Hugo teased, busying himself with rummaging through the crate. 

“That’s believable.” Varian replied sarcasm dripping from his voice as he placed his hands on his hips. Despite his tone and posture, his eyes still shone with concern. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

_ Yes. _ He did, he really fucking did want to talk about it, but he couldn’t at least not with Varian. He’d have to find some time to talk to Nuru alone. They could figure this out together, after she gave him an earful of course. Right now he’d just enjoy the time he had alone with Varian. “I’m good, Goggles. You worry too much.” Hugo wrapped his arms around Varian’s middle, pulling him close. They we’re almost the same height like this, with Hugo seated on the crates and Varian standing in front of him. It was nice. As much as he loved to tower over Varian this was also nice. “What was it you wanted to know?” 

Varian brought his hands up to rest on Hugo’s shoulders. “Just about you, your life.” 

Hugo moved his hands to rest on Varian’s hips, tracing patterns with his index finger, and following the patterns with his eyes so he could avoid Varian’s. “Not much to tell.” Hugo responded with a shrug. 

He stiffened when Varian hooked a finger under his chin, gently lifting his face so he was looking at him. Varian smiled softly, nothing but kindness in his eyes. Hugo couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t deserve it. “I still want to hear about it.” 

Hugo sighed. “Fine, but it’s going to be terribly boring.” 

Varian cupped Hugo’s face, squishing his cheeks ever so slightly, his eyes narrowing.  _ “I still want to hear about it.”  _ Varian reiterated, his eyes hardened in a way Hugo knew he wouldn’t be getting anywhere if he argued. 

“Okay, okay.” Hugo relented, removing Varian’s hands from his face and placing a quick kiss to them before keeping them in his and resuming his pattern drawing on Varian’s palm. “I was abandoned as a baby. Dropped off at the local orphanage the night I was born. Wasn’t really my style, so I left when I was around eight, lived on the streets, stole whatever I needed to survive.” 

“Why didn’t you stay in the orphanage? You could’ve been adopted.” Varian said, tilting his head as Hugo briefly paused his motions. 

“You ever been to Bayangor, Goggles?” Varian shook his head, Hugo continuing his motions. “You don’t want to, its classist as fuck. I didn’t want to stay there, so I stowed away on the first ship I could. Turns out it was a pirate ship.” Hugo chuckled a bit to himself. 

“And that’s how you ended up here?” Varian asked. 

“Pretty much. Don-  _ my  _ captain took me in, showed me the ropes and I’ve been a pirate ever since.” Hugo finished, drawing one last circle before letting Varian’s hand go. Varian let it drop to his side, his eyes shining with something akin to pity, and he  _ hated  _ it. 

“Hugh, I’m-“

_ “Don’t.  _ Just- don’t.” He was thankful that Varian didn’t press it, instead pressing their lips together in an attempt to express his feelings that way. Hugo smiled into it, letting the sadness that came with talking about his past slip away. He pulled away after a minute, tangling his fingers into Varian’s dark locks. “What about you, sweet cheeks? What are you hiding in that past of your?” 

Varian laughed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Uh, nothing really.” 

Hugo gave his hair a slight tug. “Hey, if I have to share so do you.” He teased. 

“That’s fair.” Varian laughed again, placing a quick kiss to Hugo’s lips. “You already know I grew up in Old Corona. It was just me and my dad, mom died when I was a baby. It was always just the two of us.” 

Hugo pulled Varian into a hug, he had forgotten that the loss of his dad was still very fresh. Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed the subject, but this was an opportunity to learn about his mother. “What happened to your mother?” 

Varian took in a deep breath, stiffening in his grip. “I’m not really sure. It wasn’t something that dad really talked about. All I know is she left when I was a baby. She was going on a trip somewhere, her boat never made it back. We always assumed she died at sea. Which is why he never wanted me anywhere near it.” 

Hugo cursed his luck, the more information he gained it seemed that everything was pointing at Varian being Ulla’s son. He filed the information away for later, pushing back a bit of Varian’s fringe so he could properly see his eyes. “And that’s why you never learned how to swim.” 

Varian nodded, turning in his grip so he was settled between Hugo’s legs and staring out to the sea. He looked at it with such longing, the wind blowing through his hair the stray pieces of it tickling Hugo’s nose, his eyes shining in the sunlight. He really looked like he belonged out here, he was as beautiful as the sea itself. And just as stubborn as well. Varian’s voice was softer when he spoke, his hand outstretched to the horizon like he was reaching for it. “I think he was scared that if I got a taste of the sea I’d never come home. I think he thought he’d lose me like we lost her.” Varian dropped his hand, bringing it close to his chest, his head dropping with it. “Instead I lost him.” 

Hugo’s heart twisted painfully as a few tears trailed down Varian’s cheeks. How did he still manage to look so beautiful when he cried? He wiped away the stray tears, Varian offering a shaky smile over his shoulder. “We don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.” Hugo said, his lips ghosting the shell of Varian’s ear as he placed his chin on his shoulder. 

Varian shook his head, using the back of his sleeve to wipe away any remaining tears. “No, I’m fine. There’s not much to tell after that anyways. Just a lot of schooling, etiquette lessons, sometimes visits to the castle, boring things like that.” 

“Not one interesting thing has happened in your life? I fail to believe that.” Hugo teased, placing soft kisses along Varian’s neck. 

Varian hummed in thought, the vibrations sending a lovely sensation through Hugo’s lips. “Well, there is this odd blank space in my memory.” 

Hugo froze, pulling back, his eyebrows knit together. “What?” 

Varian laughed dryly, shifting on his feet. “It’s about a year, just  _ gone. _ My dad said I went missing for about a week. No one knows how or why, I just showed up on the other side of the wall one day, injured, and didn’t remember anything. The doctor said that whatever happened must’ve been pretty traumatizing and my mind blocked it out so I could cope.” 

Hugo frowned, anger bubbling in his gut. “What the  _ fuck? _ And-and you never questioned this? Didn’t anyone look for you? Are you  _ okay? _ ” 

“I’m  _ fine.”  _ Varian said, shrugging off Hugo’s concerns. “It was almost four years ago. Plus I figure if it was that bad, I probably don’t want to remember it anyways.” 

Hugo’s frown deepened, something about this sending alarm bells ringing in his head. Something wasn’t right here. Maybe it had something to do with the odd things Varian had said after he’d been shot and again more recently. “Vari-“ 

“How did I know I’d find you two slacking off?” Nuru teased as she emerged from the captain’s chambers, one of her eyebrows raised at their current position. Thankfully she didn’t comment on it, but Varian still pulled away his cheeks turning bright red as he scurried back to the wheel. Hugo watched him go, a soft smile on his face which quickly turned into a smirk as he cast a last glance at Varian’s ass. He didn’t get to admire it long, Nuru smacking his arm with a deep frown on her face. “You’re disgusting.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Hugo said with a roll of his eyes, before lowering his voice. “We need to talk,  _ alone.”  _

Nuru nodded, her face becoming serious as they moved to the other end of the ship. She leaned back against the railing still facing forward so she could keep an eye on Varian. While Hugo leaned over the railing, staring into the ocean below. “So, what did you want to talk about? And I swear if you dragged me over here to talk about your sexcapades I’m throwing you overboard.” 

“Not this time.” Hugo laughed softly, nudging her slightly. “It’s about Varian’s mother.” 

“You know Varian’s mom?” 

_ “Holy fuck!”  _ Hugo jumped, turning to face Yong. He hadn’t even heard the kid sneak up. Nuru just laughed at Hugo’s terrified expression, Yong just looking up at him innocently. Hugo exhaled, his heart rate settling to a more normal rate once again. “No, I don’t know his mom.” 

“But you just-“ 

“Look if I give you a piece of candy will you leave us alone?” Hugo huffed. He really didn’t want anyone to overhear this conversation, especially a kid who would tell the first person who asked. 

Yong frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not five.” 

He opened his mouth to respond, but Nuru cut him off. “Okay~ why don’t you go get changed? There’s some clothes over by Varian and I’m sure you want out of that stuffy outfit.” 

“Oh, yeah, that sounds good!” Yong agreed, making his way over to where Varian and the opened crates were. Hugo sighed, placing his hand into his pocket, pulling it out slightly when his fingers brushed cool metal. He grabbed the item, a smile tugging at his lips, he was surprised he still had Varian’s bracelet, it seemed like so long ago he had taken it. He should probably give it back. 

“Would it kill you to be nicer?” Nuru huffed. 

“Yeah, probably.” Hugo responded, laughing at Nuru’s irritated look. “So, back to what I was saying before we were rudely interrupted. I think Ulla is his mom. He told me a bit about her and it sounds like a real possibility.” 

Nuru sucked in a deep breath, the sound whistling as it moved past her teeth. “Well, shit. Don’s not going to like this.” 

Hugo sighed. “She definitely won’t.” 

Nuru placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, offering him a small smile. “Hey, whatever you decide I’ll support you. If you want to ditch Don and go off on our own, we can do that. If you want to go back and face the consequences, we’ll face them together. Hell, if you want to take Varian to Ulla yourself I’ll be right there with you!” 

Hugo perked up at that. That wasn’t a bad idea. If they took Varian to Ulla it would help mend whatever wounds had been created when the two women had their falling out,  _ and  _ it would help keep him in Donella’s good graces. It was a win-win all around. “Nuru, you are a fucking  _ genius! _ ” Hugo exclaimed, grabbing her face and placing a kiss on top of her head. 

Nuru pushed him away, a disgusted look on her face. “Yeah, obviously, but you’re going to have to be a little more specific.” 

Hugo rolled his eyes. “ _ We  _ take him to  _ her.  _ She forgives Don, friendships are mended,  _ we  _ get the praise and possibly a reward, Varian gets his mom, and everyone is happy. It’s  _ perfect.” _

Nuru sighed, running a hand down her face. “You do see how this could go terribly wrong, right?” 

Hugo frowned for a second, there were a lot of unknown variables, but they could work around them as they went. This was their best option. So he nodded, wrapping his arm around Nuru’s shoulder. “I do, but I’m opting to ignore that for the moment. How much of that letter do you remember?” 

“I am going to regret this, aren’t I?” Nuru huffed, letting Hugo lead them to the captain’s quarters. 

“Probably.” Hugo said with a shrug of his shoulders. Now they just needed to find some paper and something to write with. Hugo slipped the bracelet back into his pocket, fishing around in his other one, he was fairly certain he had a pencil in there earlier. He frowned when he touched metal again, he carefully pulled out the item, a very familiar bracelet entering his vision. Hadn’t he just put Varian’s bracelet in the other pocket? He reached into his other pocket, pulling out the bracelet. They were a perfect match, Varian’s just being significantly smaller. But that didn’t make sense, he’d gotten it off that nobleman he’d killed- 

_ Oh shit. _


	19. Keep Running in Circles, Don’t Let Your Mistakes Catch You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a wedding, some guilt, and Var learning a thing or two!! Enjoy!!!

It was raining, coming down in sheets. The water easily flooding the streets. Rapunzel paid it no mind as it slammed against the glass of her window. She focused on her reflection, her brown hair done in soft braids, flowers placed amongst them. Her veil placed delicately at the top of her head, blending in nicely with her crown. Her red painted lips standing out amongst her powdered face. She smiled when her mother placed her hands on her shoulders, it looked fake even to her. 

“We don’t have to do this today. It’s awfully dreary for a wedding.” Rapunzel squeezed her mother’s hand. Of course she’d be a bit superstitious, it was bad luck to get married on a rainy day, but it had been a  _ perfect  _ day when Corona was raided. 

“It’s okay. We need to give the people hope.” Rapunzel said, casting one last glance at the mirror before standing. Her dress felt terribly heavy, so unlike her, but it was a small sacrifice to pay to have the one she loved. She followed her mother through the halls, various servants gawking and smiling as she passed by. She kept her smile firmly in place, finally stopping in front of the doors to the throne room. She let her mom lower the veil over her face, linking arms once again as the doors opened. This time her smile was genuine as she spotted Eugene at the end of the aisle. He only gave a small twitch of his lips, only the slightest upturn visible. He had  _ not  _ been happy when she told him about her past, she thought she was going to lose him, and she had lost a part of him. He left for three days, she didn’t think he would return, but he had. He didn’t look at her the same, his eyes didn’t hold the same love, but he agreed to stay, he agreed to marry her. And she could work with that.  _ They would be stronger than ever before.  _

***************************

He could feel the color draining from his face, his heart pounding in his ears as the realization hit. He felt sick, trapped, he had never thought twice about the people he killed, but this was different. His chest felt tight, he couldn’t breathe, he could only look at the bracelets in horror. His throat was terribly dry, closing with every breath he took. He’d killed Varian’s dad,  _ he’d killed Varian’s dad.  _ How could he even begin to process that information? How could he tell  _ Varian? _

“Hugo?” He blinked, quickly closing his hands around the bracelets and stuffing them into his pockets. Nuru stared at him in concern. She reached out, placing the back of her hand to his forehead, he flinched away from the touch. “You okay? You got really pale all of a sudden.” 

Hugo shook his head, taking a small step back from her, a sad attempt at clearing the thoughts from his head. He couldn’t think about this right now, he needed to focus on their task, getting Varian to his mother. After that he could tell Varian, or not. He was the only one that knew, he didn’t have to say  _ anything.  _ All he had to do was live with the rising guilt as he coaxed Varian into his bed, easy, he could do that. He felt sick at the thought, he should just let Varian go, but he’d just gotten him, they were in a  _ good  _ place. It was so fucking selfish, he just couldn’t let him go and he couldn’t tell him the truth. It would be fine, they’d be fine, as long as Varian didn’t find out. 

He shrugged off Nuru’s concern, swallowing thickly as he tried to push the thoughts away. “I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with.” 

Nuru’s frown deepened. “Hugo, you know whatever it is you can tal-“ 

“I said I’m fine!” Hugo snapped, regretting it instantly. “I’m fine, really, just a little dehydrated.” 

Nuru didn’t look like she believed him, her lips pressing into a thin line, but she didn’t press. “I found a crate of food and water. It’s not much but if we ration right it’ll last us two days. We should be far enough from Equis to dock then.” 

“Thank you.” Hugo said, heading to where the crates were and grabbing a water canteen. He’d have to bring something out to Varian, he was probably starving. He grabbed a few apples for good measure. “I’m going to take these out to the other two, you work on the letter. Goggles promised the kid we’d take him back to his town, so we should probably figure out where that is and map a route.” 

Nuru nodded in understanding. “She’s not going to approve.” 

Hugo froze, his hand hovering over the handle. He knew what she was referring to, Donella most certainly would not approve of his relationship with Varian. She hated when he formed attachments, they were weaknesses she said. He’d been lucky that he’d been able to convince her to let Nuru join, he wasn’t sure he’d be so lucky again. “I know.” 

***********************

Varian smiled, the wind blowing in his hair, the rough wood underneath his hands, the salty taste in the air. It was all so wonderfully intoxicating, so freeing. For once things seemed like they were going to be okay. He was  _ happy.  _ He felt like he belonged. He felt like shit because of it. He shouldn’t be feeling this way, not so soon after his father’s death. He shouldn’t have begun a relationship either. But he was just so happy for once,  _ Hugo  _ made him happy. He could be happy and still mourn. He could like someone without undermining his father’s death. He was  _ allowed  _ to feel something else other than sadness for once. That’s what his father would’ve wanted anyways, right? His happiness? 

“Hey, Varian! Nuru said there was some extra clothes over here.” Varian jumped slightly at the sound of Yong’s voice, still turning and offering the boy a smile over his shoulder. 

“Hey, Yong. There’s some right over there.” He watched him run over and pick up the bundle, moving behind a crate to get changed. “Did you sleep well?” 

“Sure did! I can’t wait to be home in my own bed though.” Yong said, stepping out once he was finished changing. 

“Speaking of that, where is your home?” Varian asked, Yong taking Hugo’s old spot and continuing to sort through the crates. 

“Oh, I’m from Koto. A little town called Pyre.” Yong answered, frowning as he tossed things into their respective piles. 

“Koto is quite a ways inland.” Varian jumped again as Hugo’s voice drifted over to them. At this rate he’d have a heart attack at eighteen. He shoved a canteen and apple into Varian’s hands, avoiding eye contact with him. “Take a break, Goggles. I’ll steer for a bit.” Despite the kind words his voice was monotonous, indifferent, and forced.

Varian nodded, leaning forward to peck his cheek as a thank you, but Hugo turned too quickly tossing an apple to Yong. He frowned, trying not to let the action bother him. Hugo couldn’t be avoiding him, could he? Had he said something wrong earlier? He thought they were getting somewhere with opening up about their pasts. Did he figure he had too much baggage? Had he been too clingy? Too needy? Not enough? His throat felt tight as all his insecurities started to rise. He pushed the thoughts away as Yong spoke up again. “The main city is, but Pyre is a dock town. We do most of our trading there. It’s kinda isolated from the rest of Koto, but we make do.” 

“I remember going there once.” Hugo said, tapping his fingers against the wheel. He still hadn’t looked in Varian’s direction and it was really starting to get to him. Was he bored of him already? Was it because he didn’t let him have his way with him? Was he expecting just sex? He didn’t even know what he,  _ himself,  _ was expecting from this. All he knew was he was happy when he was with Hugo and he didn’t want that feeling to stop. Wasn’t that enough? He glanced at Hugo’s turned back, he had barely acknowledged him at all since he returned. Apparently it wasn’t. Maybe he was just overthinking this. Rapunzel always said he overthought everything. That had to be it. He was overthinking and everything was fine. He willed the thoughts away so he could focus on the conversation. If it came down to it he could just talk to Hugo about what he was feeling. “It’s about three days from here, I believe.” 

“That’s good. We’ll have you home in no time!” Varian chimed in, watching Hugo as he joined Yong by the crates, pulling his own over to sort through. Even though his words weren’t meant for Hugo he expected a reaction of some sort, instead Hugo turned to face the sea, once again ignoring him. He took a frustrated bite from his apple. He was slowly becoming more annoyed than upset. Had he said something to upset Hugo? Was he upset that he didn’t stay in his arms when Nuru showed up? He hadn’t meant any offense, he just wasn’t used to being affectionate in front of others. Maybe Hugo did have the right to be upset. He’d have to apologize later. 

“I really hope so. I miss my family.” Yong sighed, tossing a few chemicals into the pile, the glass vials clinking dangerously against one another. 

Varian bit his tongue in an attempt to prevent himself from giving the boy a lecture about safety, and how it’s not the best idea to toss unlabeled chemicals around. Instead he ruffled his hair, offering him a comforting smile. “You’ll be with them soon.” 

“Speaking of…… those.” Hugo cleared his throat, his back stiff as Varian tilted his head. “We  _ might  _ have a lead on where to find yours, Varian.” 

Varian froze, his heart pounding in his chest. What exactly did that mean? His dad was dead, he couldn’t possibly be talking about- no, she was dead. She had to be, if she wasn’t that meant she abandoned them, she abandoned  _ him.  _ “What do you mean?” 

Hugo turned then, his hard expression crumbling as soon as he laid eyes on Varian. He quickly averted his eyes. He opened his mouth only to be cut off by Yong. “So you  _ do  _ know her. You said you didn’t.” 

Hugo rolled his eyes and Varian couldn’t help but feel slightly better at that. The feeling disappeared as soon as it came. Why hadn’t he told him about it before? Is this why Hugo was acting strangely? Why he  _ still  _ didn’t look at him? “I don’t  _ know  _ her. I just know  _ of  _ her. It might not even be her, but everything is pointing towards it being her.” 

“Tell me about her.” Varian whispered, his eyes darting to the ground not quite sure if he even wanted to know the answer. 

“It’s probably not what you’re expecting to hear.” Hugo responded. 

Varian’s fingers dug into the fabric of his pants. How could he expect  _ anything  _ when he knew  _ nothing  _ about her? “Tell me, Hugo, I need to know,  _ please.”  _

He looked back up, begging Hugo silently to tell him. Hugo hadn’t moved from the wheel but he turned now facing Varian, finally looking at him. He looked sad, conflicted, and maybe even a bit guilty. Varian stiffened, preparing himself for the worst. If Hugo was reacting like this it had to be pretty bad, right? Hugo nodded, turning back to face the sea, Varian squeezing his eyes shut. He opened them when Yong placed his hand on his knee, flashing him an encouraging smile. Varian returned it gratefully, it dropping again as Hugo spoke. “She was a pirate. She worked with my captain, Donella, they were unstoppable together. Taking whatever they wanted, doing whatever experiments they wanted, but it wasn’t enough for Ulla. She wanted more. There was a rumor about this place that held infinite knowledge and gold, and they swore to find it together.” 

“But Ulla left halfway through.” Varian jumped,  _ again, _ almost dropping his apple as Nuru approached a piece of paper in her hands. She sat on top of a stack of crates, swinging her legs back and forth. “Said she found meaning elsewhere and she didn’t want to finish the mission. Research kinda came to a halt after that, then she suddenly appeared again. Wanted back in, and Don let her. No one questioned it, they needed her.” 

Varian hated this. He had a terrible feeling about where this was going and he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. But part of him needed to hear it, he knew nothing about her and he craved for any information on her no matter how bad. Maybe this was why his dad didn’t want him involved in science either. How much of his life had been the way it was because of his mother’s mistakes? He shrunk back, eyes once again focused on the ground. Yong on the other hand looked completely enraptured, leaning forward, eyes wide with delight. “Did she betray them?” 

Hugo’s hands tightened around the wheel, the action not going unnoticed by Varian. Varian’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, so this wasn’t what was bothering him? Then what was? He shook the thoughts away, he had too much going on in his head right now to worry about it. Hugo would tell him when he was ready. He had to trust he would. Right now he was grappling with the fact that his mom had apparently left him in the pursuit of wealth and knowledge. On top of that his mom had betrayed her friends. He supposed it made sense for betrayal to run in the family he had betrayed Rapun- wait, when? He didn’t remember that. He could feel himself starting to spiral, his grip on reality, his surroundings slipping away. He couldn’t do this now, not in front of everyone when he was still learning about his mother. 

_ “You promised everything would be okay! You lied, Rapunzel! You lied!” His hands gripped at the bars of the cell, the chains of his cuffs clinking harshly against the bars.  _

_ “Everything is okay.” Rapunzel argued, the white bandages around her head a bright contrast to the darkness of the dungeons.  _

Varian squeezed his eyes shut tight, his fingers trembling as they dug into his legs. He couldn’t do this. It needed to stop, he needed it to stop. Why wouldn’t it stop? 

**_“You’re a liar!_ ** _ You never cared about me! You  _ **_fucking_ ** _ fraud!” Rapunzel turned at the words, quickly closing the distance between them, a snarl clear on her face. Her features twisting into something menacing. He scurried back, tripping on his chains and falling against the hard damp floor. He hated when she was angry. _

_ “I should be the one that’s angry, not you. I should be the one that’s yelling, not you. I’m saving your life. You’re lucky to be alive. If anyone else did what you did they’d be dead by now.  _ **_You_ ** _ pushed me out a window!” Varian could only stare in horror at her frantic expression, her green eyes blown wide in her fury.  _

No, no, no, no. It wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t breathe. It needed to stop. Whatever these terrible visions were he didn’t want them. He didn’t want to remember.  _ He didn’t want to remember.  _

_ He was trembling on the ground, the chains rattling with his movements. He could feel the tears streaming down his face, feel the anger still radiating off her. And yet his lips still moved against his will. “You told me to do it.”  _

_ It was barely audible, but somehow she heard it. Even more anger flashing across her features before it smoothed out into something more unreadable, a neutral mask, her white knuckled grip on the bars slipping away. Somehow the calm demeanor made him more worried. She simply smiled, turning away and heading towards the door, offering one last remark over her shoulder. “And you were the idiot that listened.”  _

“-don’t know what happened really. Don just came back alone and said she was dead, but the letter proves otherwise.” Nuru finished what he assumed to be the letter held in front of her, offering it to him. 

Varian pushed it away, standing abruptly. “I need some air.” 

He barely registered Yong’s words as he walked away. “But we're already outside.” 

His head was spinning, there was too much to process. With the information about his mom, and the impromptu flashbacks, that’s what they were, weren’t they? Memories.  _ Fucking memories _ , because of course they were. He missed the rest of the story because of them.  _ He didn’t want them.  _ His chest felt tight, his eyes watering, but he refused to cry, he’d cried too much lately. He just needed to focus on one problem at a time, he could do that, he could work like that. Just nice and slow, one problem at a time. And while the memories were a painful, jumbled mess, his mother had to come first. The memories wouldn’t be a problem until,  _ if,  _ he decided to return to Corona. He could feel his heart rate slowing down, his breathing returning to normal as he took in deep breath after deep breath. No problem, he had this. 

“You okay? You kinda spaced out a bit over there.” Varian jumped for the umpteenth time that day, his hand flying over his heart. He could feel it beating rapidly underneath his fingertips. There went all his hard work to get it down. 

Varian nodded, casting a sideways glance at Hugo, his eyes focused on the water lapping against the ship. “I’m okay.” 

“I know it’s a lot to take in, but think about it. You don’t have to make a decision right away. We still have to take Yong to Koto anyways.” Hugo said, twiddling his thumbs like he was nervous. 

Varian frowned, so he’d definitely missed something in the conversation and something was still definitely bugging Hugo. “A decision on what?” 

Hugo chuckled, looking at Varian for what seemed to be the first time in a long time. “You really did space out, Goggles.” He reached up, flicking the glass of Varian’s goggles, Varian batting his hand away. The playful moment was gone as soon as it came, Hugo looking away again, a frown etched into his features as he held the letter out for Varian to take. “I’m assuming your dad had this letter from your mom. It was found amongst the treasure. She needs your help, Varian.” 

Varian took the letter this time, scanning over the words quickly. He felt an odd mixture of happiness and anger. How could she claim that she loved him after abandoning him for so long? And now she just wanted help. It seemed unfair somehow. His fist clenched around the parchment, the paper wrinkling and distorting the words. “It’s really from her?” 

Hugo nodded before shaking his head. “Not that one specifically. Nuru found the original the day of the mutiny, but it dissolved when we went overboard. She recreated it as true to what she remembered.” Varian didn’t respond, staring down at the words on the paper, the words that might not even be his mother’s. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to  _ think.  _ “Take as much time as you need. We’ll figure it out, whatever you decide.” 

Hugo started walking away, Varian grabbing his hand just as he was moving out of reach. Before he had the chance to protest Varian pulled him into a hug, burying his face in Hugo’s chest. Hugo felt unbearably stiff, almost like he didn’t know what to do. “Thank you. For being here for me. I know I’m a mess right now, but you’ve been so kind and patient with me. I really appreciate that.” 

Hugo awkwardly brought his arms around him, returning the hug albeit stiffer than the comforting hugs he’d gotten earlier. Still he placed a kiss to the top of his head, and it made Varian feel like everything was going to be okay. “Anytime, Goggles.” 

Varian smiled, despite the new weight of a decision he had yet to make, he knew it was going to be okay. He felt safe. Hugo was here and he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him. 


	20. Run, Run, as Fast as You Can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dearest readers and friends!!!! I come with a small warning for this chapter!!!! Things get a little spicy, hot and heavy, smexy times, whatever your preferred terminology!!! Nothing too explicit but if anyone is uncomfortable please skip the italics section and I will give a brief rundown in notes at the end!!! Thank you much and enjoy!!!

Cassandra’s lips curled in disgust. Equis was as horrendous as she remembered. Except now everyone was running around in a panic, the castle sporting various holes in the walls, Trevor stretched out dramatically across his throne. He jumped up as soon as he saw her, stomping down the steps. “ _ You!  _ You Coronan’s are responsible for this! I kindly let one of your so called nobles into my humble abode and  _ this _ is how I’m repaid! Those  _ monsters _ took my Trevor Jr.!” 

“That’s great and all, but we just need to know what direction they went in. So if you could get on with it that would be much appreciated.” Cassandra drawled, her patience drawing thin as she moved the man’s hand out of her face. 

“You disrespectful little  _ peasant!  _ How dare you speak to me in such a-“ 

Cassandra grabbed his wrist, twisting it painfully behind his back. “Listen here you pathetic excuse for a king, you’re going to tell me what I want to know and if I’m satisfied with the information you’ve provided then,  _ and only then,  _ will I let you continue with your fucked up lifestyle. Now tell me what I want to know.” 

“Okay, okay. Just promise you’ll bring back my precious Trevor Jr.” Trevor whined, thrashing in Cassandra’s grip. 

“Depends on how generous I’m feeling,  _ your majesty.”  _ Cassandra hissed, twisting his arm more. 

“Trevor Jr. is from Koto, one of my servants said she overheard the boy say he was going to take him back. That’s where they're headed, it has to be.” 

Cassandra released him, turning immediately and heading towards the door, her boot crunching on glass as she went. “Corona sends her thanks. If Raps is feeling generous she may even send a gift basket.” 

“Wait.” Cassandra halted, turning her head slightly to face the king. She’d humor him and hear him out. “The boy was traveling with pirates, do us a favor and dispose of them.” 

Cassandra smiled, her lips twitching up at the possibility of another bloodbath. “It would be my pleasure.” 

***********************

Hugo didn’t want to let go. He didn’t deserve this, but he didn’t want to let go. He tightened his grip around the smaller boy, the other melting into the embrace. He felt sick. He should tell Varian what he’d done, and yet he didn’t, he  _ wouldn’t.  _ Because he knew what he’d be giving up if he did, and he just couldn’t do that. He was being selfish, he was being so  _ fucking selfish.  _ He knew it and he still couldn’t bring himself to put Varian first. His arms tightened even more around him, wanting desperately to keep him here, to keep him safe. He just wanted to stay here in this moment forever, where the outside world couldn’t reach them, where the only thing that mattered was him and Varian. Where his past couldn’t affect them. Hugo nuzzled into Varian’s hair, the strands tickling his face, but he paid it no mind. Varian laughed, the sound music to his ears. 

“You can let go now.” Varian said, his voice muffled from his face being buried in Hugo’s chest. 

“I don’t want to.” Hugo whined, moving his face down to burrow into his neck. He didn’t want to move, he just wanted time to stop in this moment. 

“That tickles.” Varian laughed, squirming away from Hugo’s grip, cupping his face before he could bury his face in his neck again. Hugo felt another pang of guilt as Varian smiled softly, his eyes sparkling, looking completely smitten. “You’re amazing, you know that?” 

No, he really wasn’t. If he knew what he’d done he wouldn’t be saying that. If he knew the monster he really was he’d have left already. He struggled to find words, how could he respond to that? He didn’t have to, Varian closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together. Hugo pulled back immediately, regret hitting him as soon as he saw the look on Varian’s face. He looked hurt, confused, and just a tad bit angry and annoyed. He needed to tell him, he couldn’t keep avoiding him like this and he obviously knew something was going on. Hugo took a deep breath, steadying himself for the onslaught of curses and screaming he was bound to get. “Varian, I need to tell you something.” 

Varian tilted his head, now looking more concerned than anything else. “What is it?” Hugo swallowed thickly, knowing that as soon as he told him that concern would be replaced with fury. Varian cupped his cheek again, Hugo leaning into the touch and covering his hand with his own. “Whatever it is you can tell me.” 

His heart was beating rapidly in his chest. He could see the moment it all crumbled away. He’d lose Varian, he wouldn’t stay. He knew he wouldn’t, but he needed him to. He needed him, as much as he hated to admit it Varian was his moral compass, his anchor, keeping him grounded. He couldn’t let him go, so he plastered a smile that felt so terribly fake, so terribly deceiving onto his face, pressing their foreheads together. “I think you’re amazing too.” 

Varian’s face lit up again, his buck teeth showing through his lopsided smile. This time when Varian kissed him, he didn’t pull away, kissing him back instead. He’d never felt so guilty in his life. Varian deserved better, he deserved someone so much better than him. Someone who would put him first, who wouldn’t lie to him. He knew he was being selfish and he still couldn’t let him go. Eventually he had to, at least for the moment, Varian pulled away his chest rising and falling from the kiss. Hugo ran his thumb over Varian’s bottom lip, taking in the beautiful pink flush of his cheeks before placing a softer kiss to his lips. “Let’s get back to the other’s before they really start to worry.” 

“Anything for you,  _ sweet cheeks.”  _ Varian teased, skipping ahead of Hugo in a seemingly better mood than when he’d left to get air. Maybe this would be okay. As soon as he squashed the guilty feeling he would be fine. Varian was happy with him so it wasn’t  _ entirely  _ selfish to hold onto him. It would all work out. Everything would be okay. 

Surprisingly the rest of the day went fairly smoothly. They were able to sort through most of the crates, separating things into keep and sell piles. To Hugo’s dismay there was a strict no stealing rule once they arrived in Koto. If they wanted to get Yong to his family safely they would have to lay low and keep from drawing too much unwanted attention. It was going to be so fucking annoying but Hugo could do it for the short amount of time they were going to be there. He had more pressing matters to worry about at the moment anyways. He needed to find a way to kill the ever present feeling of guilt, which was increasingly hard when all he wanted to do was drown in Varian’s very essence. He was a drug and he couldn’t get enough. He wanted to be the person that he deserved, he was just scared of losing himself if he did. How much would he be willing to give up of himself to make Varian happy? How much would he have to? Was it worth it? To give up everything he was for a boy he barely knew? A boy he could see himself rapidly falling for. He was so fucking screwed. 

  
  


Maybe that’s why he’d spent the majority of the night staring at the ceiling. Nuru had offered to take the first shift at the wheel, Yong opting to keep her company for the time being. He was grateful for that, he wasn’t sure he’d sleep at all if he had to share a bed with Varian. The other had fallen asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, he must’ve been exhausted from everything he’d been through emotionally and physically. Hugo partially wanted to wake him up because making out and feeling guilty was a hell of a lot better than staring at the ceiling and feeling guilty. Instead he opted for rolling onto his side, facing away from Varian and forcing his eyes closed, hoping to catch at least a little bit of sleep. 

_ Hugo sighed, opening his eyes after what felt like only a few minutes. He blinked, the edges of his vision slightly fuzzy. He really needed to get some fucking sleep. He closed his eyes again only to open them immediately when he heard shuffling coming from the other side of the room. “Hugo.”  _

_ His breath caught in his throat at the sound of Varian’s voice. It was lower, breathy and every bit as lust filled as he felt. He rolled over, Varian climbing into the bed as soon as Hugo was on his back, effectively straddling him. “Varian, what-“ His words cut off, dying in his throat as the younger ground his hips down. Hugo’s hands instinctively went to grip his hips, his fingers digging into the soft fabric of Varian’s clothes as he continued his motions, Varian’s hands settling on Hugo’s chest.  _

_ “It’s okay. I want this, don’t you?” Varian’s voice kept the same tone as before, but his eyes seemed to darken slightly, one of his hands moving to the base of Hugo’s neck and applying just enough pressure to make breathing slightly harder.  _

_ “I do.” Hugo responded, his own words becoming breathy. He wished there wasn’t all this fabric between them, wanting nothing more than to flip them over and take charge of the situation, but there was also something completely captivating about Varian being completely in control. His eyes rolled back in pleasure as Varian moved his hips with much more intensity than before, letting out a soft moan of his own. Hugo bucked his own hips up into the movements, certain his fingers were leaving lovely little bruises on Varian’s hips. It was wonderful.  _

_ “You do?” Vairan hummed, applying more pressure to Hugo’s neck as he nodded, breathing becoming increasingly hard. He wiggled underneath Varian, the tightness around his neck uncomfortable, but not enough to get Varian to stop. “Even after everything you’ve done?”  _

_ “Wha-“ He felt his blood run cold, his eyes widening in fear as Varian stopped his movements, wrapping both of his smaller hands around Hugo’s neck and squeezing with all his might. His hands left his hips then, clawing desperately at Varian’s hands to get them off as he thrashed beneath him.  _

_ “How could you think I’d be with someone like you? You killed my father and you still believe I want to fuck you?! You ruined my life, you filthy son of a bitch! You think I could actually  _ **_care_ ** _ about you?! Fucking pathetic! You deserve this, you deserve to  _ **_die.”_ **

_ His eyes watered. He didn’t know if it was from Varian’s words or the fact that he couldn’t fucking breathe. All he knew was that he needed air soon or he was going to die. And wasn’t that poetic as fuck killed by the son of the man he killed. The circle of fucking life he supposed. His vision started to go black, his hands growing weaker in their fight against Varian’s, his lungs burning from lack of air. And yet all he could focus on as the last bits of his vision faded was Varian’s heartbroken, tear stained face.  _

Hugo’s eyes shot open, his hands flying to his neck as his heart hammered in his chest. His breathing coming out far too shallowly, his shirt sticking to his skin with sweat. He chanced a glance over to Varian, the boy still sound asleep only a mess of black and blue hair sticking out from underneath the blankets. Hugo ran a hand through his own hair, taking one last shaky breath before swinging his legs over the side of the bed and slipping his boots on. He may as well take over from Nuru, he wasn’t going to be getting anymore sleep tonight. He quietly left the room, his hand lingering over his neck where he swore he could still feel Varian’s hands. The sound of Varian’s moans and harsh words mixing together to form an odd mixture of guilt and lust in him. The dream (nightmare?) wouldn’t be leaving his mind anytime soon. This was going to be a lot harder than he thought. It was about to be a long fucking night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for those of you that read like I said nothing explicit but I figured best to cover my own ass!! For those of you that didn’t read basically Hugo has a nightmare that Var crawls into his bed and attempts to strangle him while seducing him and yells at him for killing his father!! That’s it!! Hope y’all enjoyed!!!


	21. Your Concerns Are Valid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello!!! It’s been a hot second!!! This one is primarily fluff so I hope y’all enjoy but don’t get used to it!! Probably another chapter or two of fluff before we dive back into that sweet sweet angst!!! Also quick shout out to my dearest friend grilledcheezer for helping me work through a bit of this!!! You’re the best!!! Love y’all!! And enjoy!!!

_ Varian’s feet padded lightly down the stairs, barely making a sound save for the odd creak of the wooden steps. He had just finished his lessons for the day, his tutor requesting to speak with his father before leaving. And Varian was determined to hear the conversation, he needed to know if he was going to be in trouble or not after all.  _

_ “Did Varian do something wrong again?” He bit his lip, pretending the exhaustion in his father’s voice didn’t hurt. Sure he had a tendency to be a little mouthy, but it wasn’t that bad, was it?  _

_ “No.” His tutor hesitated as Varian heard the sounds of rustling paper. His heart pounding in his ears, his toes on the edge of the stair he was standing on, waiting for his tutor to say more. “Not really. Have a look at this, he’s been writing over his notes. You have a very smart boy, my lord.”  _

_ Varian smiled, tipping forward ever so slightly in an attempt to peak into the kitchen the older men sat in. It dropped as soon as he heard his father’s words. “Don’t allow this anymore.”  _

_ “But, Sir-“  _

_ “It’s not what he should be focusing on. It’s pathetic and childish. I need him to be able to  _ **_lead_ ** _ , not whatever this nonsense is.” Varian’s heart sunk. He should’ve expected his dad to find something negative in this. No matter what he did he was never enough for him. It hurt.  _

_ “What are you doing?” Varian jumped at the sound of Rapunzel’s voice, forgetting she was over and waiting for him to finish his lessons, his foot slipping off the edge of the step. He didn’t even have time to scream before Rapunzel grabbed the back of his shirt, keeping him from plummeting down the stairs. It should’ve been reassuring but something about it wasn’t. “Have you thought about what I asked?”  _

_ “Yes.” Varian ground out, his teeth grit together, her grip allowing no room for him to better his balance.  _

_ “And?” Her grip loosened slightly, Varian dropping a bit, his other foot struggling to keep purchase on the step. He glanced at the fall, it would be a nasty one, definitely leaving him bruised for a few days at least,  _ **_if_ ** _ he was lucky.  _

_ “I’ll do it.” Rapunzel smiled, but he felt anything but relieved. “You promise everything will be okay?”  _

_ “I promise.” And then she let go.  _

Varian’s eyes slowly opened, the feeling of falling waking him from his sleep. Strangely he felt okay, the usual unpleasant feeling of falling in a dream not present. Maybe it was because his falls in reality had always been much worse. Maybe it was because it wasn’t a dream. He yawned, stretching his arms over his head before rubbing the sleep from his eyes, the sun streaming through the window. For a blissful moment he thought he’d woken up at home, in his bed with his dad downstairs making breakfast, but as soon as the last remnants of sleep faded away he realized he was still aboard the ship. The rocking of the waves hard to mistake. He sighed, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, his eyes looking briefly to his ankle. It didn’t look good, the flesh where the anklet sat blackened from the shocks, the skin surrounding it red and irritated. His fingers ghosted lightly over it, wincing as he did so. As soon as they got to Koto he’d have to find some kind of ointment for it, and perhaps a journal to keep track of the influx of memories. He took a deep breath, grimacing as he pulled on his boots, glancing around the room. Nuru and Yong were fast asleep in the other bed, Nuru’s arms wrapped protectively around Yong. He smiled at the sight, deciding it best not to wake either. 

It disappeared as soon as he spotted the letter on the nearby desk. He had spent the majority of yesterday staring at it. It was a lot to process, his mind having trouble wrapping itself around the words. He was sure he was going to spend the majority of today staring at it as well. As much as he wanted to just forget about it, it was an ever present nagging in the back of his mind. He almost wished they’d never told him about it. He grabbed the letter as he headed out the door, feeling oddly refreshed despite everything that had happened. Maybe it was the fact that since this whole thing started he’d finally slept in a real bed and with a full stomach. He still had a lot to do, with some very big decisions to make in the near future, but he was feeling overall better about the situation. And while things definitely weren’t going as well as he’d have liked they were going better than before. Things were brightening up, going in the right direction for once. Today was going to be a great day, he could feel it. 

Varian smiled as he stepped out of the room, the sun shining much more pleasantly than it had yesterday, the salty spray from the sea feeling refreshing on his skin. He kept the letter in front of him, bounding up to where Hugo was already at the wheel.

“Good morning.” He called, wrapping his arms around Hugo’s middle as he stood on the tip of his toes to plant a kiss to Hugo’s cheek. 

“It’s afternoon, but morning to you too, sleepyhead.” Hugo teased, moving one of his hands to rest over Varian’s. 

Varian nuzzled his face into Hugo’s back, humming in satisfaction at the comforting warmth. “Still sleepy though.” 

He smiled softly, feeling his eyes starting to slip closed again, Hugo gently removing the letter from his hands. “You’re going to get a headache staring at this thing all day.” 

Varian laughed, releasing Hugo and moving to the side in order to take the letter back from him. “ _ You’re  _ the only thing giving me a headache.” Varian teased snatching the letter out of Hugo’s grasp, staring at the item as he headed over to sit on the crates. He didn’t get far, Hugo lifting him off the ground and spinning around. “Hugh!” 

“Am I annoying you now?” Hugo asked, his voice slightly breathy from spinning them around. Varian’s heart hammered in his chest unnaturally at the sound of it, his cheeks heating up, his laugh drowning out most of Hugo’s words. 

“Definitely.” Varian managed to huff out between laughs. The world blurring together around him until he was finally set back down. “Did- did you have to do that?” 

“I did.” Hugo laughed, grabbing Varian’s hand attempting to spin him around to face him. It didn’t work, Varian still dizzy tripped over his feet, falling to the ground and pulling Hugo with him. Varian dissolved into a fit of giggles, Hugo’s weight almost comforting on top of him. “Shit. Are you okay? I shouldn’t have done that.” 

Varian’s giggles slowed, stopping completely as he became hyper aware of Hugo’s hands running over his body as he checked for injuries. He wiggled underneath him, Hugo’s fingers feeling like fire as they trailed over him, accidentally slipping them underneath the hem of his shirt. Varian stopped him then, locking his hands together at the back of Hugo’s neck. He hadn’t noticed how tired Hugo looked, the dark circles underneath his eyes, the slightly paler tone to his skin, his brows knit together in worry. And Varian just wanted to make him feel better, provide him with a distraction like he’d done for him when he needed it. Varian wiggled again, his fingers brushing over Hugo’s undercut. “Hugo.” This time he stopped, eyes wide as he took in their current position. “Are  _ you  _ okay?” 

Hugo shook his head ever so slightly, squeezing his eyes shut. Varian moved one of his hands to cup his cheek, Hugo immediately nuzzling into the touch. “Are you ready to talk about it?” Varian asked, sucking in a sharp breath as the fingers at his side began to move, teasing the sensitive skin there. 

“No.” Hugo responded opening his eyes, a bit of hurt and guilt shining behind them. Did he think he didn’t deserve him after everything? But that wasn’t right. If anyone had apologizing to do it was definitely Varian, he’d fucked up so many things and was generally a mess. 

“What do you want?” Varian asked, because at this point he’d do anything to make Hugo smile again. 

“To forget.” Varian wanted to argue that forgetting wasn’t the way. The past might be painful but forgetting was so much worse. Hugo’s lips were covering his before he could answer. Varian letting out a shocked gasp that gave Hugo the perfect opportunity to shove his tongue inside his mouth, exploring every inch of it. Varian pulled him closer as Hugo’s hand snaked further up his shirt, the touch sending Varian’s heartbeat racing. He could easily lose himself in the moment as he gave in to the passion. His mind was foggy with the pleasure, Hugo moving onto his neck as he eagerly arched up to expose more of the sensitive flesh. The kisses were a far cry from the loving ones earlier, these seeming more and more rough, possessive even. It was terrifying in the most exciting way. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to go down that path, not like this when they still had so much to work out. He was probably being selfish again, he just couldn’t do this right now. He didn’t need the added pressure of sex on top of everything else. It was too much, everything was suddenly too much, too overwhelming. 

“Hugo.” He hated how needy his voice sounded, Hugo obviously interpreting it as such, biting down on the juncture between his neck and collarbone. Varian let out a small whimper at that, his eyes shutting for a second before snapping back open. His body and mind playing a terrible game of tug of war. He felt sick, he wanted this, he wanted it so  _ bad.  _ But it was all too soon, too soon into their relationship, too soon after becoming on amicable terms, too soon after constantly being at each other’s throats, too soon after learning his father died. Too much, too soon, although he supposed that’s why it was called the honeymoon phase, it was all too easy to get swept up in the passion and excitement of a new relationship, forgetting everything that had brought them here. This time Varian gave Hugo’s chest a light push, trying to make him aware of his discomfort. “Hugo, please.” 

Hugo seemed to take it as an invitation to claim his lips again, Varian pulling away as soon as he made contact. “What’s the matter, Sweet cheeks?” Hugo asked, the genuine concern on his face making him feel immediately guilty. He didn’t want him to think he did anything wrong, it wasn’t  _ wrong _ , in fact it had felt good, just too fast. So Varian pulled him down into a softer, chaste kiss. 

“Too fast.” Varian said, letting his heart rate settle to a more normal rate before moving to place another soft kiss to Hugo’s lips. This time Hugo moved away, Varian pushing away the hurt that came at the action. Maybe he  _ was  _ being too selfish. 

“Right.” Hugo pushed himself up, taking Varian’s hands and pulling him up as well. He frowned glancing down at the letter, his eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to focus on the words and not the stresses of a new relationship. He didn’t get to look for long, Hugo cupping his face and tilting it up, his thumbs running over the freckles on his cheeks. “You think too much.” 

Varian laughed softly as Hugo placed a kiss to the tip of his nose. Maybe he was right, he did think too much. This was all very new and exciting, he couldn’t let himself get caught up in the little things. It was just his insecurities creeping up again. Varian wrapped his hand around Hugo’s forearm, searching his green eyes for an answer to what had made the other lose so much sleep. “Whenever you’re ready to tell me, I’ll listen. We  _ need  _ to talk. Just don’t- don’t keep it bottled up too long, okay?” 

“We’ll talk the moment I’m ready, I  _ promise.”  _ Varian forced a smile at that, he hoped it wasn’t too painfully obvious. He just  _ hated  _ that word so fucking much. It made his gut twist in anger, threatening to pull repressed memories to the forefront of his mind. A trigger that if said too many times would jeopardize all the work the —— had done. If Hugo noticed his inner plight he didn’t say anything, his smile looking just as forced as Varian’s. 

“Okay.” Varian responded simply, no longer able to meet Hugo’s eyes for a reason lost to even himself. Maybe it was because he felt like he was lying to him. As much as he didn’t want to pressure him he was also dying to know what was bugging Hugo so he could fix it. They had agreed to talk and work things out, but all it felt like they were doing was making out or avoiding each other. He just really hoped they’d move past it soon. 

“Good morning!” Yong called, Hugo immediately letting go of Varian at the sound of the young boy’s voice. 

“Good morning!” Varian responded, his voice sounding far more cheery than he’d have liked, borderline fake. 

“It’s afternoon.” Hugo deadpanned moving back to the wheel and resuming his post like he’d never left it, like the moment before never happened. Varian sighed, glancing briefly to Hugo's back before turning his attention to the letter. 

“Are you okay? You look sad.” Yong stated, his sudden appearance at his side making him jump. The kid was extremely sneaky, it was almost terrifying. The question, however, took him more off guard. He hadn’t even realized he looked sad, most of his time was spent worrying about one thing or another so truthfully he shouldn’t be surprised. 

“He’s fine, just took a little spill earlier.” Hugo called before Varian had the chance to answer himself. He was secretly grateful that he didn’t have to come up with an excuse to explain the shitstorm of emotions he was going through recently. 

Yong nodded, accepting that answer with ease. “Is that how you got that bruise?” 

Varian blinked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What?” 

“The bruise on your neck.” Yong elaborated, pointing to the offending abrasion. 

Varian’s heart stopped as his hand flew to his neck, fingers running lightly over the evidence of his and Hugo’s previous activities. He could feel the color draining from his face while his cheeks turned bright red from embarrassment. Hugo on the other hand was laughing, his shoulders shaking as he hunched over the wheel. “No, kid, that’s not a bruise it’s-“ 

“Okay~” Varian interrupted, quickly clamping a hand over Hugo’s mouth before he could say more, an awkward laugh escaping his lips. “We are  _ not  _ having this conversation today.” 

“What conversation?” Yong asked innocently. 

“Nothing! It’s just a bruise, I’m  _ fine!”  _ Varian said, his voice cracking slightly as it rose in its panic. He shot Hugo a glare, the other responding with a smug smirk, before Varian led Yong away. “Let’s see if we can’t find something to make for breakfast. I’m sure Nuru will be hungry when she wakes up and I’m sure you are too.” 

“I’m starving.” Yong said, lightly patting his stomach. Varian laughed at that. There were still so many unknowns but he felt a tad bit better knowing that this little ragtag group was shaping up to be a blessing in disguise. And possibly even more like friends than the ones he’d had back in Corona. His decision in regards to finding his mother still weighed heavily on his mind, but for once he felt like he might not have to face the future alone. 


	22. Time to Think of Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter about Nuru being a badass and making sure Var knows he’d best not break Hugo’s heart!! Enjoy!!

Nuru didn’t know what to think. On one hand Hugo seemed to be in a better place now that he wasn’t trying to actively throw Varian to the wolves, but there seemed to be something more that was troubling him lately. And the stubborn fuck refused to talk about it. Not to her, and if Varian’s occasional pout was anything to go by not to him either. It was starting to grate on her nerves. They’d be having a good time, talking, laughing, just getting to know each other in this strange thrown together group. When Hugo would stop suddenly and gaze off into the distance like some kind of lovesick maiden waiting for their lover to return from war, or a kicked puppy. It was  _ disgusting.  _ And just so terribly out of character. Perhaps he just needed some more time to open up, it had only been a day since this started, but she knew Hugo. So she knew that if he wasn’t confronted he’d keep his feelings locked away tightly until the inevitable blow up. And she absolutely  _ did not  _ want to be on the receiving end of that. Her only option was to get to the bottom of it now, no matter how much Hugo was bound to fight back. Although if she played her cards right she wouldn’t even have to talk to Hugo about this. Perhaps Varian could do all the hard work for her, she just needed to plant the seed. 

She glanced around, Varian was at the wheel, Yong chatting his ear off about the things they could make with all the chemicals that had been in the crates. Hugo sitting on the crates nearest to the wheel, using a knife to carve mindlessly into the wood. Nuru made her way over, nudging Hugo with her elbow. “What’s up?” 

Hugo shrugged, not looking up from his work. “Not much. You?” 

“I was wondering,” Nuru started, Hugo automatically rolling his eyes. “Since you seem to have had a nice little break, if you wouldn’t mind taking over the wheel for a bit. I’d like to borrow Varian.”

Hugo raised an eyebrow at that. “Varian? Why?” 

“Just want to talk.” Nuru said, shrugging her own shoulders this time. 

Hugo looked entirely unconvinced, but nodded, setting his knife down on the crate. “Sure, whatever. Can’t really stop you, I guess.”

“No, you can’t.” Nuru teased, skipping over to Varian. She placed a hand on his shoulder, bringing her presence to his attention. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure.” Varian said, although his tone made it sound more like a question. “What did you want to talk about?” 

Nuru simply gestured with her head for him to follow her, leading them away from Yong and Hugo. Varian trailing behind her, nervously wringing his hands. She almost wanted to laugh, he wasn’t  _ actually  _ scared of  _ her _ , was he? 

“Sorry, again about using too many rations this morning. We just wanted to have a nice meal.” Varian said, laughing awkwardly as he shifted from foot to foot. Oh, she supposed he was. Or at the very least wary. She had given him quite the earful for using a more than necessary amount of their rations. 

Nuru waved him off. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure it out.” 

“Right.” Varian said lamely, shifting again. Nuru narrowed her eyes, the movement annoying her. Couldn’t he sit still for one fucking second? 

She sighed, a sad attempt at distracting herself from his fidgeting and to fill the uncomfortable silence that lingered between them. It was best to cut right to the point she supposed. “So, you and Hugo are courting?” 

“I’m sorry?!” Varian asked, his eyes going hysterically wide. “I- I don’t know if I’d call it  _ that.” _

Nuru nodded, perhaps that was a poor choice of words on her part. Courting did imply the possibility of marriage and she just couldn’t see Hugo agreeing to that. She gave him a once over. His hair and clothing had been oddly rumpled this morning, and the hickey on his neck didn’t get there on its own. There was only one logical conclusion. “You’re fucking then?” 

Varian, of course, had decided to take a sip of water at that moment. Nuru quickly stepped out of the way as Varian promptly spit it out onto the deck.  _ “Excuse me?!”  _

Nuru blinked. “So, you’re not fucking?” Varian looked offended, his face turning red with anger? Embarrassment, maybe? She just didn’t see the problem. Hugo talked about this stuff all the time, hell the  _ whole crew  _ talked about it all the time. It was a natural thing. 

“I- that’s really none of your business. Is that why you brought me over here? To see if Hugo was getting laid?” He paused for a second, Nuru thinking for a blissful moment his little tirade would be over. She was sadly mistaken. “Did  _ Hugo  _ put you up to this?” 

She couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that. She had forgotten how nobles could be such  _ prudes.  _ It was almost cute. “No he didn’t. I just-“ She doubled over, wiping away the tears from her eyes. “Sorry, just give me a minute.” 

Varian grit his teeth, his arms folded over his chest. Oh, he was definitely pissed. “This is fucking ridiculous. I thought we might actually be  _ friends _ -“ 

“ _ Friends?! Fuck,  _ please tell me  _ I  _ wasn’t that oblivious.” Nuru laughed again as she reached forward and grabbed the front of Varian’s shirt, pulling him towards her. She could  _ feel  _ Yong and Hugo’s eyes on her, but she only focused on Varian’s wide blue ones. “ _ No one  _ is your friend. Everyone wants something. They’ll use you and toss you aside as soon as they get what they want. You have to  _ fight  _ for what you want. I thought you’d understand that. Are you willing to fight, Varian?” She brought him closer, lowering her voice so that only he could hear. “Are you willing to fight for  _ Hugo _ ? Lay down your life for him if necessary? Follow his orders  _ without  _ question? Do whatever it takes to carry out his order, no matter the cost to yourself?” 

“ _ Yes _ .” Varian answered, his eyes hardened in determination. She smiled, it was the only response she needed. 

“Then fight.” Nuru said. She pushed Varian back as she swung her sword in the air where he had just been. She quickly tossed her spare sword to him, Varian fumbling to catch it. She didn’t mean any real harm, it was just a fun little tradition they had when someone new joined the crew they would have to fight to prove their worth. And especially now that Varian was more or less Hugo’s lover he had to prove himself even more. She wouldn’t allow just  _ anyone  _ to date Hugo, no matter how much of a pain in the ass he was. She swung again, Varian barely having time to block the attack as he picked himself off the ground from when she had initially pushed him. She didn’t give him any time to counter, swinging her sword down again, the metal clanging in her ears. She typically preferred to use both her swords in battle, but this was merely a fun duel and she  _ did  _ want to give Varian a fighting chance. Although, Varian proving his worth wasn’t her only motivation for taking part in this tradition. She leaned in close again as their swords remained crossed. “He’s hiding something from you.” 

Varian pushed her back, straightening his back as he finally had a chance to right his stance. “What?” 

“Can you trust someone like that?” Nuru said, baiting Varian to attack her. 

It worked. The boy lunged, his sword meeting empty air as Nuru expertly dodged his attack. “I trust him to tell me on his own. I’m not going to force him into telling me something he doesn’t want to.” 

This time she didn’t attack right away, circling Varian as she took in his stance. His back was almost ramrod straight, his feet spread a good distance apart, favoring his left side, his sword held up in a single hand in front of him. She almost scoffed aloud. She should’ve guessed. Fencing  _ was  _ a common activity among nobles,  _ especially  _ noble males. But by the looks of it Varian hadn’t completed the full course, or he just sucked at it. His technique was sloppy and all he had done so far was lunge. Although his attacks were more powerful than his skinny frame led one to believe. She could work with that, underestimation was a big downfall of the majority of her opponents. She swung downward this time, Varian dodging the attack instead of blocking. “That’s a nice sentiment, but do you  _ actually _ believe it?” 

She frowned when he didn’t attack, instead waiting for her to right her stance. Even going as far to lower his sword. A mistake, a big  _ fucking mistake,  _ if she ever saw one. Fencing may be all about good sportsmanship, but there was no time for that when lives were on the line. “I do.” Varian said, the slightest of smiles tugging on his lips. 

Nuru took advantage of the situation, lunging before he had time to put up his guard again. She swung at his right side, Varian angling his body oddly in order to block it. Before he could make a move she dropped down, Varian pitching forward at the loss of contact. She swiped his legs out from underneath him, his sword clanging uselessly against the deck. He looked none too pleased as he shouted. “Hey! That’s-“ 

“Not fair?” She finished with a quirk of her eyebrow as she placed the tip of her sword at the base of his neck. “Fights hardly are when your life's on the line. Always fight like it is. You can never lose that way.” 

Varian nodded, his chest heaving due to the exertion of the brief fight. Nuru removed her sword, offering her hand to Varian to help him up. “Welcome to the crew.” She said with a smile. 

Varian took her hand, returning the smile as she helped him back onto his feet. “Thanks.” 

She kept her smile firmly in place as she pulled him into an awkward hug, their hands still interlocked between their chests. “Break Hugo’s heart and I kill you, okay?” 

Varian swallowed thickly, giving a curt nod of his head. She released him then, not paying him any mind as she sauntered back towards Hugo and Yong. She had nothing against Varian, in fact she was quite fond of him, he seemed to balance Hugo nicely, but he didn’t have to know that. Besides her threat was genuine, Hugo  _ never  _ pursued a relationship outside of sex and if he was putting his heart on the line for once, Varian better not break it. 

“That was awesome!” Yong shouted, excitedly swinging his legs back and forth from where he’d settled on the crate Hugo had previously occupied. Nuru ruffled his hair as she walked past, joining Hugo by the wheel. 

“Did you have to be so rough on him?” Hugo asked, a smirk playing on his lips. 

Nuru snorted. “Of course. You didn’t let me off easy. Why should he get a free pass? You’re not playing favorites now, are you captain?” Nuru teased, placing her hands on her hips. 

“I would  _ never.”  _ Hugo said in mock offense. Nuru simply smiled in response, casting a brief glance back at Varian. She really hoped he would get her hint. As much as she loved Hugo his secrets tended to be his downfall, and he had a very unfortunate habit of dragging everyone down with him. She would still try to get him to open up of course, but she had a feeling that if he was going to open up it was going to be to Varian. She could only pray it happened before it came to bite them in the ass. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all can pry the headcanon that Nuru duel wields swords from my cold dead hands


	23. Everyone’s Got Their Own Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all!!! Sorry updates are gonna be more sporadic I’m working on a lot of exciting projects and unfortunately my work has decided it’s safe to return!! So yeah no more free time for me!! Anyways we have finally arrived in Koto but things don’t go as smoothly as hoped!!! Enjoy!!!

“Feet closer together. You’re leaving yourself too open to attacks with a stance that wide.” Hugo instructed, tapping Varian’s foot with his own in order to get him to move it. 

“This is what I do-“ Varian started, but Hugo cut him off with a wave of his hand. 

“That’s great. But like I’ve said, _this isn’t fencing.”_ Hugo said, smirking a bit at Varian’s pout. He chuckled as Varian attempted to blow his hair out of his face, it didn’t work, the fringe plastered to his forehead with sweat. Hugo smoothed his hair back for him. It was getting rather hot with the sun beating down on them, but they couldn’t stop now, they’d arrive in Koto sometime today and they needed to be ready for anything. Unfortunately for Varian that meant getting him in fighting shape. He wasn’t bad per say, just very _formal._ He attacked in a pattern, probably one that he was taught by an instructor, and Varian was fucking stubborn. It was hell to try and get him to change, the younger was extremely stuck in his ways. It also didn’t help that the leg Hugo had shot Varian in was the same one that had the shock anklet, which caused him to put little to no pressure on that side. It made him terribly off balance. A weakness that any worthy opponent would be able to spot a mile away. Hugo ran a frustrated hand down his face as Varian slipped back into his previous stance. “Varian, seriously?” 

Varian huffed, this time not moving when Hugo tried to help him adjust. Hugo frowned, so he _was_ just being stubborn. “Yes seriously. I want to keep my stance.” Varian said, his eyes narrowed slightly at Hugo. 

“It’s a shit stance. If you want to stand a chance out here you need to be able to fight. I can’t always be there to save your ass.” Hugo teased, smirking at the slight shake of Varian’s form. He’d told him to hold the stance for as long as possible, his arm shaking from where he held the sword outstretched. Hugo remembered when Donella made him stand outside for hours holding his form ‘to toughen him up’ she’d insisted. It was a pain in the ass then, but it had done wonders for his muscle memory and stamina. 

“You’re a jackass.” Varian shot back, glaring more prominently. “I’m keeping the stance.” 

Hugo groaned, his frustration becoming more evident. Couldn’t they agree for one second? Couldn’t Varian see he just wanted what was best for him? He couldn’t keep him safe from everything, he couldn’t even keep Varian safe from _him,_ so he needed to give Varian the tools to do it himself. “Why are you being so insistent about a stupid stance?” 

“This is how my dad taught me.” Varian said, his eyes locking with Hugo’s for a second. Hugo tore his eyes away, guilt bubbling in his gut. 

“Okay. Then let’s make this work. Here.” Hugo said, running his hands over Varian’s body as he adjusted his stance. He made very small, subtle changes, but it was enough to give Varian an advantage instead of holding him back. “Better?” Hugo asked once he was done. 

Varian nodded, giving an experimental bounce on the tips of his toes as he settled into the new stance. “Yeah, thanks.” Varian flashed him a smile, Hugo returning it despite how disgusted he felt with himself. Varian trusted him and he was taking advantage of it, he was leading him along in hopes that once they get to the end of their journey he _might_ still hold a shred of affection for him. He hadn’t even realized his hands were lingering, one on Varian’s hip, the other on his forearm, his body pressed flush against his until Varian spoke up. “Hugh?” 

Varian’s voice was soft, his eyes questioning as he glanced at Hugo over his shoulder. Hugo quickly captured Varian’s lips. Varian eagerly returned the kiss, melting into Hugo’s touch. Hugo broke it, pressing their foreheads together, surprised that Varian had more or less kept his stance. “I’m sorry about your dad, Goggles.” Hugo whispered. Donella would hang him for saying the words, but they did wonders for his guilt. 

“It’s not your fault.” Varian said. Hugo’s stomach sinking once again. If only he knew, Varian wouldn’t look at him with the kindness and understanding he was now. And Hugo had no words that wouldn’t incriminate himself, so he pressed their lips together again, this kiss softer than the last. Varian let his eyes slip closed as they moved their lips against one another, Hugo keeping his open. He wanted to memorize the way Varian relaxed against him, the way he let himself be vulnerable, the way he trusted him completely. The weight of the bracelet felt heavier in his pocket. He would have to ditch it when they got to Koto, if he could he’d sell it, for the very least he needed it gone for his sanity. He pulled away, cupping Varian’s face as his eyes fluttered open. Varian smiled softly at him, and Hugo’s heart skipped a beat in his chest. _Fuck,_ he was already in too deep. The freckled boy was going to be the death of him. 

He smiled for Varian’s sake, letting his hand linger a second more before pulling away completely. “Let’s get back to work.” Hugo said, taking a step back to let Varian readjust his stance. He circled the younger, nodding in satisfaction at the new stance. Varian’s feet were closer together, his back not as straight, and his arm much closer to his body allowing him a better grip on his sword without straining his arm. Soon they’d be able to move on to actual fighting techniques. 

If only he didn’t have Nuru glaring a hole in his back. He’d noticed it a bit before her impromptu duel with Varian, she was watching him. She wasn’t as sneaky as she thought she was. He had heard a few of her words when she was dueling with Varian, although he couldn’t quite catch all of them with Yong’s excited shouts and cheers in his ear. What was she planning? He could feel her eyes on him with every move. Obviously she knew something was going on with him, but she had yet to approach which was odd to him. Usually she had no problems in confronting him. For some reason she had yet to. He knew it would be soon, he could feel it in the way she looked at him. He was ready for a fight, knowing fully well he couldn’t distract her with sweet words and bruising kisses like he could Varian. No, Nuru was a whole other beast. Until she confronted him, however, he’d just have to wait her out. He offered her a small wave, relishing in the way her cheeks flushed in embarrassment, turning away because she knew she’d been caught. If she didn’t want to talk to him, he’d have fun taunting her until she did. It would give him more time to come up with an excuse when she ultimately did confront him. 

He guided Varian’s arm back up into position from where it had fallen, ignoring the way he huffed in annoyance. Instead he caught Nuru casting a glance at Varian, an odd look in her eye. He grit his teeth, so that was her plan, to use Varian to do her dirty work. He should have expected as much, she was still a princess at heart. A manipulative, self serving, princess who couldn’t be bothered to get her hands dirty when there was someone willing to do it for her. And it really, _really, pissed him off._

**********************

Varian ran to the side of the ship despite the ache of his sore muscles. It had been quite the few days, between learning more about sailing, training, and experimenting with the chemicals they had on board. All of which left him with various aches, bruises, and scratches. There may have been an explosion or two, some of which were his own doing some not, that left him with a few scrapes. Overall their little group was fitting together nicely, of course they still had disagreements and Hugo was an annoying know it all when it came to, well _everything._ But whenever they had an argument Hugo more than made up for it with heated make out sessions whenever they had a moment alone. It had been a surprisingly relaxing few days at sea, and now the excitement of a new adventure loomed on the horizon, quite literally. 

Varian leaned over the side, watching as the land rushed by. They were finally approaching Koto. They would be docked within the hour. He couldn’t wait to explore. Yong had been ranting and raving about the luscious landscapes and rolling hills covered in trees and- 

Nothing, there was absolutely _nothing._ No trees covered in leaves, no rolling green hills, no _anything._ What was left of the trees were burnt to a crisp, the branches bare and black, the grass much the same. It was completely lifeless, besides the dust that tumbled through the air. 

“What happened? This- why is it like this?” Yong asked, his voice terribly small as he peaked out at the landscape. 

Varian frowned, he swore he could still smell smoke in the air. “I don’t know, buddy, but we’re still making good on our agreement. We’ll get you home.” Varian said, ruffling Yong’s hair, a reassuring smile on his face. 

Thankfully, Yong’s face lit up. “Yeah!” He exclaimed, a revived skip in his step as he moved away from Varian. Varian let his smile drop immediately. Something bad had happened here, and by the looks of it, it was fairly recent too. He hoped whatever it was, was gone by the time they docked. Although deep down he knew it was wishful thinking. He always had a knack for getting into trouble. 

Varian wrung his hands together nervously as they finally docked. There were hardly any ships at the pier, the streets even more scarce. There weren’t even any real buildings, just tents and the occasional wooden shack. It wasn’t at all what he imagined Koto to be like, and if Yong’s fallen face was anything to go by it wasn’t anything like he remembered either. 

“Well things have certainly changed since the last time I was here.” Hugo said, placing his hand on Varian’s back and leading the group down the gangplank. Varian paid him little mind, focusing on Yong and how the boy had gone unusually quiet, his eyes downcast like he was refusing to accept the reality of the state of his former home. 

“It’s going to be okay. Soon you’ll be back safe with your family, yeah?” Varian said, placing a comforting hand on Yong’s shoulder, bending down slightly so they were eye to eye and offering him a comforting smile. 

This time it didn’t work, Yong shrugging him off as he moved ahead. “I guess.” Yong responded, his eyes returning to the ground. 

Varian frowned, his eyebrows knitting together in concern, his hand still lingering where Yong had been. He wanted everything to be okay for the young boy. Perhaps it was selfish, but he wanted Yong to be able to have his family back especially since _his_ would never be complete again. 

“What happened here anyways?” Nuru asked, her face scrunched up with worry as she took in the scenery. 

“Ha! What _didn’t_ happen here?” Varian’s head snapped to the side at the sound of the gruff new voice. 

“What do you mean?” Varian asked, moving towards the dark skinned man that was perched on a nearby chair. The man laughed, scratching at his greyed beard before pulling a cigar out from somewhere in his pocket. 

“Haven’t been here recently, have you?” The man said, lighting his cigar. Varian shook his head, the man gesturing for him to come closer. Varian took a step forward, his progress stopped when Hugo grabbed his arm giving a slight shake of his head. The man laughed again. “Don’t worry I’m not gonna hurt your boy toy.” 

“And why should we trust you?” Hugo said, narrowing his eyes at the man, his grip still firm on Varian’s arm. Varian tugged his arm free, he didn’t _need_ to be protected at all times. He was perfectly capable of handling himself. 

The man smirked, blowing a plume of smoke into Hugo’s face. Hugo coughed a bit to clear his lungs. “Information is a valuable thing, _boy._ You won’t find just anyone willing to give it out, especially in these times. But if you don’t want it I can’t force you.” The man said with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“Of course we-“ 

“What’s your price?” Nuru asked, her hands planted firmly on her hips, briefly casting an apologetic glance at Varian for interrupting him. 

“That’s a lovely little bracelet you got there. It’s real gold, yes?” The man asked, pointing to the bracelets around Varian’s wrists. 

“Yes, it is.” Varian answered. Already working to remove the item. 

Hugo stopped him once again, placing a hand over Varian’s. “That’s a steep price for a few _measly_ pieces of information.” 

The man shrugged again, leaning so far back in his chair that the front legs lifted off the ground. “Information is priceless, especially if you know what to do with it. If you were smarter you’d understand that.” 

“ _Excuse me?!_ You wanna say that again, you fucking son of a bitch.” Hugo sneered, taking a step forward obviously ready for a fight. Nuru held him back, Varian taking the opportunity to step in between Hugo and the man, his hand resting on Hugo’s chest. 

Varian quickly slipped off one of the bracelets, placing it into the man’s outstretched hand. “Here, now tell us what you know.” 

The man smiled, weighing the bracelet in his hand before setting the chair back down on all fours, leaning in close as he spoke. “Very well. It started about three years ago, a group of pirates came through laid waste to our town and left. King Trevor was kind enough to help us rebuild, the first time anyways. He took some of our people as payment, the twisted bastard. After that the attacks never stopped. As soon as we rebuilt another raid, soon people just lost hope. And now the fucking Coronan soldiers are crawling all over the place. Just as bad as the pirates if you ask me. Those fuckers have been tearing apart our town looking for a bunch of terrorists that escaped from Equis. Don’t know why they’d be bothered with that. They ain’t even allies with Equis. Rumor has it the new queen of Corona is a bit off her rocker. She had her soldiers blow a hole in the Equian castle, she’s burning down our land, all for these terrorists. Doesn’t seem worth it to me. All I’m sayin is be careful, you look at them Coronan’s wrong and they drag you away never to be seen again.” 

Varian paled, so they were looking for him and now he’d put all these innocent lives at risk. But why? What did Rapunzel want with him that she was willing to go to such lengths? “How long has this been going on?” Varian asked, his voice wavering as the information sank in. 

The man pointed to Varian’s other bracelet. Varian quickly removed it and handed it over despite Nuru and Hugo’s groans of protest. “A day or two since the Coronan’s got here. Overheard one of ‘em say they got a lead the group was here and they ain’t stopping until they catch the bastards.” 

“What do they plan on doing with them once they're caught?” Varian asked, dread filling his stomach. 

“Got anymore gold?” The man asked, taking another puff of his cigar. 

“No, but-“ 

“Then I ain’t got anymore information.” The man said, blowing the smoke from his cigar in Varian’s face and gesturing for them to leave. 

Varian lingered for a moment, coughing a bit until Hugo gripped his arm pulling him away. “Let’s go, this jackass isn’t going to help us. This was a waste of time.” Hugo yelled over his shoulder, the man chuckling as he pocketed the gold. As soon as they were out of earshot Hugo turned on Varian, his grip tightening. _“You said no one was looking for you.”_ Hugo hissed. 

“I- I didn’t think they were.” Varian said, instinctively shrinking back. An anger burning in Hugo’s eyes that reminded him of their earlier days, that reminded him of the look his father gave him when he was upset, that reminded him of _Rapunzel’s_ angry green eyes. 

“I can’t believe how fucking _stupid_ you are. We need to leave _now.”_ Hugo continued, oblivious to Varian’s obvious discomfort. 

“But-“ 

“Shut up. Just shut up while I think of a way to get us out of _another_ one of _your_ messes.” Hugo sneered, shaking Varian’s arm as he spoke. Varian’s eyes were wide, his chest aching as he suddenly struggled to breathe, his form shaking. He didn’t see Hugo in front of him, all he saw was the people he’d let down over and over again. His tutors, the people of Old Corona, his father, Rapunzel, all of them he’d failed in one way or another, and now he supposed he could add Hugo to the list. 

“Hey, that’s enough!” Nuru scolded, stepping in between the two boys, her eyes narrowed into slits at Hugo as he finally let go of Varian’s arm. It was terrible, but Varian felt like he could breathe again without the weight of Hugo’s hand on his arm. He could almost pretend he hadn’t let Hugo down. “This is _no one’s_ fault, okay? We need to work together now more than ever. So stop placing the fucking blame like a _five year old.”_

Hugo’s face dropped, guilt overtaking the anger as he finally registered Varian’s distress. He looked like he wanted to say something, anything to try to smooth things over. “Var-“ 

“Not to interrupt, but wasn’t there a small lad with the lot of you?” The man from before said, a wide smile on his face despite the implication of his words. Varian paled once again, his stomach churning unpleasantly at the new information. They’d been so absorbed in themselves they hadn’t even realized Yong left. And it was all Varian’s fault again. 

“Fuck.” Nuru groaned, rolling her shoulders back. “Let’s find him before someone else does.” 

Varian simply nodded in agreement, hoping they’d find him soon. He couldn’t let anything bad happen to Yong on his account. He was supposed to keep him safe, he was supposed to be looking out for him, returning him _home_ , and somehow he’d still managed to make it all about himself. Just like he always did at least according to his father and Rapunzel. 

He didn’t even realize Hugo was at his side until he gently took his hand. “Var, look, about what I said-“ 

Varian shook off his hand, giving a slight shake of his head. “Forget it, we need to find Yong. That’s more important.” 

Hugo nodded, despite the fact that he looked like he had a response on the tip of his tongue. Varian was grateful he didn’t argue, didn’t say anything that might stray them from their current course of action. Everything else could wait until they found Yong, he owed him that much. 


	24. Sometimes Others Know You Better Than You Know Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Yong has a run in with a familiar face and becomes an impromptu therapist, and var has a run in of his own!!! Enjoy!!!!

He really hadn’t meant to be separated from the group, somehow it just happened. He just had a bad feeling about the guy they were talking to so he simply walked away and into one of the nearby shacks. Which had just so happened to be a tavern. It wasn’t busy in the slightest, so he was able to find a table for himself near the door. He had even kept an eye out the window despite his short stature, but when the yelling started he’d ducked down and covered his ears, waiting for it to stop. He could deal with loud noises, heck  _ he  _ was the cause of a lot of loud noises, but yelling was something he could absolutely  _ not  _ deal with. He had dealt with it a lot more than he’d have liked in his young life, and he’d much rather not get involved. Especially not when Hugo sounded so angry, the oldest male already didn’t like him, so he decided it best to stay out of the way. 

“Can I get you something? A glass of milk maybe?” Yong turned his head at the sound of the voice. A young girl standing before him, balancing a tray on her hip, her curly brown hair tied back in a ribbon. She looked pretty young, most likely somewhere between him and Nuru in age. Either way she was much too young to be working in a tavern. 

“I don’t have any money.” Yong said, drumming his fingers against the table. 

The girl shrugged, flashing him a smile. “Don’t worry about it. This ones on the house.” She shot him what he assumed to be a wink, both her eyes scrunching closed and one side of her mouth tilting up, before disappearing into the kitchen. 

Yong turned his attention back to the window, a frown etched into his face when the sound of yelling no longer reached his ears. He leaned forward trying to get a better look outside, but he couldn’t, the glass foggy and scratched from years of abuse. Maybe he should head back out, make sure they were still there. 

He was just about to get up when the girl returned, setting the milk down on the table. “There you go! Best milk on this side of Pyre!” The girl said, the words rolling off her tongue like she said them everyday, and she probably had. 

“We’re in Pyre?” Yong asked, his heart sinking. He knew it was where they were heading, but to hear it out loud that they were truly here, it was heartbreaking. It was nothing like the town he grew up in. He  _ hated  _ it. 

She laughed, nudging him with her elbow as she doubled over. “You’re not from around here are you?” 

“I  _ am.”  _ Yong responded with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest. The girl shot him an unconvinced look. “It’s just been a while is all.” 

“Oh, you were displaced by the pirate attacks.” The girl said, the words more of a statement than a question. Yong simply nodded, taking a sip from his drink. Her face softened, a look of pity crossing her features before it was replaced with a smile. “Well I’m Cate! If you need anything I’ll be more than happy to help out in any way I can. We can’t provide much, but we all help each other out here. Just holler if you need anything!” 

She gave a little salute and with that she was gone, leaving Yong alone again. He took small sips from his drink, not quite sure he was ready to rejoin the group. It’s not that he didn’t want to, he just didn’t want to be in the middle of the fighting. He just needed to take a few deep breaths and pull himself together. By the time he worked up the courage to open the door and head back outside the group was nowhere in sight. He was all alone in a place he barely even recognized anymore, it was terrifying. 

“Varian! Nuru! Where are you guys?” Yong called, dread filling his stomach. They wouldn’t have just left him, right? Now that he was  _ technically  _ home they didn’t have to help. Maybe they thought he didn’t want it since he left without warning. He should’ve said something, but he simply couldn’t. It’s not like he’d be heard anyways, Hugo always pushed him to the side and he  _ was  _ the captain. He didn’t have an actual place amongst the group. It hurt, but maybe it was best he just found his way home alone. He scrubbed at his eyes, wiping the tears away that had gathered there. He needed to figure this out, he needed to get  _ home.  _

“Hey kid!” Yong turned, the man from before approaching. He took an instinctive step back, ready to run if need be. He could always go back to the tavern, Cate said she would help if he needed it, and he just might. “You got your friends pretty worried. What do you say we go find them together, yes?” 

“I’m okay. I can find them on my own.” Yong said, already moving away from the man. 

“Look, kid, I know I was a jerk to your friends, but you really shouldn’t be out here alone. It’s dangerous.” The man said, moving closer. He looked genuinely concerned, but so had Trevor. 

“Dangerous because of people like you!” Yong shouted, his eyes narrowing before turning on his heel, prepared to run. He didn’t get to, instead coming face to face with a woman in gold and red armor, her dull green eyes regarding him with disinterest before a smile plastered itself on her lips. Something about it seemed off,  _ wrong,  _ as she bent down to his level, her white gloves resting on his shoulders. 

“Is everything alright here, dear? This man isn’t bothering you, is he?” She asked, blinking in a way that he supposed was to make her seem more friendly, innocent even. It just unnerved him. 

“N-no. Everything is fine.” Yong stuttered, wanting nothing more than to run back to the tavern and wait for the others to find him, heck, even the man was better than her. He briefly glanced over his shoulder, the man now gone, leaving him completely alone with this woman in the street. 

She stood then, her eyes darting around the streets, akin to an owl stalking its prey in the night. She kept her hands firmly planted on his shoulders, her nails digging in ever so slightly, like she knew he’d run if given the chance. “Where is your family? There’s a lot of dangerous criminals out here. You wouldn’t have happened to see anyone  _ strange  _ around here lately have you?” She asked. Yong shook his head, feeling tears starting to well in his eyes despite himself. She narrowed her eyes at him, obviously not believing his answer if her tightened grip was anything to go by. “No one with an unusual blue streak, right about there?” 

Yong flinched as she ran one of her long nails through his bangs. She was looking for Varian,  _ why  _ was she looking for Varian? He couldn’t answer her, he felt frozen, forced only to stare back into those cold unwavering eyes. 

“Kid, I need you to answer. This man is very dangerous and needs to be brought in  _ immediately.”  _ Her tone was short and clipped. He was wearing on her patience, he knew it,  _ she  _ knew it. He just didn’t want to believe Varian was dangerous, that he’d made the wrong choice in trusting him. Varian had been nothing but nice, even when he had met him and he seemed so sad and broken. He couldn’t believe it, he didn’t want to believe it, but what if she was right? 

“I- uh- well-“ He didn’t know what he was going to say, the words a jumbled mess in his head. 

“Tick tock, kid. I don’t have all day.” She huffed, her nails digging in deeper still. 

“I-“ 

“Ah! There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Yong let out a sigh of relief, he’d never been happier to see Hugo. The blonde pulling him into his side protectively. “What have I told you about wandering off like that? Mom’s going to be so fucking pissed if we’re late for dinner again.” 

“He’s  _ your  _ brother?” The woman asked, not even bothering to hide the disbelief in her voice. Yong didn’t care if she believed them or not, he was just glad to no longer have her sharp nails digging into his shoulders. 

“Yup.” Hugo responded popping the ‘p’. Yong glanced between them, their green eyes clashing with each other as Hugo silently dared her to question him. Thankfully she had enough decorum not to. 

“Just keep in mind what I said. We’re just trying to keep everyone safe.” The woman said, but offered no more resistance as they started to walk away. 

“Oh, golly gee, miss, thank you for keeping us safe from the big scary man.” Hugo called, his voice dripping in sarcasm as he waved over his shoulder, Yong chuckling at his side. 

“He tried to kill the Queen of Corona.” The woman called. Hugo froze, his back stiffening, his jaw clenched, his grip tightening ever so slightly. Yong knew what she was doing, he’d seen it before when he was made to sit in court. She was trying to bait them into saying something. She  _ knew  _ they knew something, it was just a matter of getting them to slip up. 

“Did he?” Hugo asked, keeping his back turned, his free hand moving to rest on the hilt of the sword at his hip. Yong wanted to say something in Varian’s defense, there was no way he was capable of something of that caliber, but anything could give them away. 

“Yup.” The woman said, echoing Hugo’s tone from before. Yong gently tugged Hugo’s shirt, trying to send a silent reminder that it wasn’t safe to talk to her, no amount of information would be worth it. Hugo’s jaw worked as he bit the inside of his cheek, obviously at war with himself. He didn’t want to believe her words, but why would she make it up? 

“Seems like quite the criminal. Best of luck to you, I’m sure you’ll need it.” Hugo ground out, leading them down the road before the woman could say more. They walked in a tense silence, Hugo’s arm still around Yong, his hand still resting on the hilt. It was only then when they were heading away from the pier that Yong noticed the terrifying amount of Coronan soldiers that were present. They were everywhere like ants, crawling around and poking into every nook and cranny. 

“Where are Nuru and Varian?” Yong asked, keeping his voice low enough so only Hugo would hear him. 

“Don’t know. We decided to split up to find you. You’ve got some real nerve running off like that.” Hugo responded, his frown deepening as he glanced down at Yong. His voice was as low as Yong’s had been but he could still hear the anger in his voice. 

Yong narrowed his own eyes, his own anger bubbling in his chest. Sure, he was at fault for running off without warning, but he wouldn’t have done it if Hugo hadn’t been so  _ mean.  _ And it wasn’t just with him, he’d seen him be mean to Varian and Nuru too. He may be small and not very intimidating but he planned to give Hugo a piece of his mind. “Maybe if you weren’t such a jerk I wouldn’t have left!” 

“Oh, boo hoo, just because you didn’t get your fucking candy I’m a jerk. It’s not like I went out of my way to bring you home or any-“ 

“ _ You _ didn’t. You haven’t done anything except be mean to everyone! I heard you yelling at Varian, I heard you snap at Nuru. All you do is bark orders and pick on people. You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever seen. You- you’re an  _ ass!”  _ Yong said, jabbing his finger into Hugo’s chest. He wasn’t expecting a reaction, if anything he just expected Hugo to brush him off, instead he looked almost hurt, like he’d been slapped. 

Hugo swallowed thickly, taking a step back. He almost seemed at a loss for words. It made Yong feel guilty, maybe he shouldn’t have snapped. His eyes darted to the ground, his mouth opening to apologize only to be cut off. “You’re right.” Hugo said, his voice softer than it had been in the whisper, softer than he’d ever heard it. 

“What?” Yong asked, more so for the fact that he didn’t believe what he heard than that he hadn’t heard the words. He never thought him of all people would get Hugo to admit that someone else was right. 

“You’re right. I am selfish, and mean, and an ass, but I’m trying to be better. I’m  _ working  _ on being better. I want to be better. For you, and Nuru, and-“ Hugo’s shoulders shook, and for a second Yong thought he was crying. He wouldn’t know what to do if Hugo was crying. Yong awkwardly patted Hugo’s arm, the older’s head snapping up at the contact, his eyes glassy as if he’d been close to tears. “I want to be better for Varian. Whatever shit he got himself into in the past it doesn’t matter to me. He deserves so much better. I just don’t think he realizes that.” 

Yong shifted from foot to foot, feeling very out of place. This wasn’t a conversation he was supposed to be a part of, it was something more private and intimate. A conversation he should be having with a close friend, or even Varian himself. Either way it felt like he was intruding. Not that he wasn’t glad Hugo was talking to him, it just felt too personal for the moment. Yong wasn’t sure what to do, but he felt he needed to say something. “Um, maybe you should tell that to Varian?” 

“I-“ 

“Oh thank the stars! I’ve been worried  _ sick.”  _ Nuru called, jogging up to the group of two. She quickly wrapped Yong in a hug, oblivious to the awkward atmosphere that had settled around him and Hugo. “I’m so glad you're okay.” 

“Where’s Varian?” Hugo asked, Nuru releasing Yong from the bone crushing hug. 

“Don’t know. We split up,  _ remember?”  _ Nuru said, her hands on her hips, a scowl on her face. Yong frowned, so it wasn’t her idea to split up. She sighed, running her hand down her face. “We’ll just have to go back to the ship and hope Varian shows up in an hour like we discussed.” 

To Yong’s surprise Hugo didn’t argue, simply nodding his head as Nuru led them back the way they came. He really didn’t want to, that woman could still be there, but if Varian was waiting for them at their ship then it would be okay. He wouldn’t know what he’d do if something had happened to Varian because of him. 

**********************

In hindsight splitting up probably wasn’t the best idea. But he wasn’t thinking about that when he suggested it, he didn’t know the streets would be crawling with Coronan soldiers. Granted he probably should have known that too, based on what the man at the dock was saying. It just hadn’t been on his mind, just finding Yong and getting a moment,  _ a second,  _ alone to finally think,  _ breathe.  _ Unfortunately he didn’t even get that as he pressed his back against a nearby wall of the alleyway. The guards passing by without a second glance. He let out a small sigh of relief, only to have to duck around another corner. He needed a fucking break. Just when it seemed like things were going well another thing was added to the list. First the attack that started it all, then the shit show in Equis, learning his father had died, finding out his mom was  _ alive,  _ the memories, and then there was Hugo. Hugo had been a bright spot in it all, despite their arguments. But now he’d fucked up so bad he wasn’t sure if Hugo would be able to look past it. He should’ve known better than to think that he’d be happy for once. His father had punished him for much worse. Rapunzel had as well, hell to most people he was a mistake. To Hugo he had been different, but now Hugo saw him like everyone else did. He’d look so mad, upset,  _ angry.  _ Varian had been  _ scared _ , and he never wanted to feel like that again around Hugo. He didn’t want to feel like that ever again. He was supposed to be past this, he had improved from the obedient boy that cowered in the corner at one wrong glance. He could talk to Hugo after they found Yong. That would give him enough time to calm down and sort through his emotions, it would be-

“Hello, Varian.” Varian turned, stumbling over his feet as he tried to back away from the familiar female voice. He didn’t fall, but had to catch himself on the wall, his injured ankle screaming in protest as it twisted. “Long time no see. Think you were, what, fourteen  _ maybe,  _ the last time I saw you. Still just as scrawny though.” Varian scrambled back, his heart pounding in his chest as the intimidating red head moved forward, Varian barely able to keep up with her pace. 

“Caine, what do you-“ Varian’s breath hitched as his back hit a wall, his eyes scanning the area for an escape route. She plunged her sword into the wall, just centimeters from his face, her hand firmly planted on the other side. 

She leaned in close, her breath ghosting over his face. She dragged her blood red nail down his cheek just enough to leave an angry red mark but not break the skin. “I think it’s time we caught up, what do you say?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaa Yong’s point of view is hard!!!! I hope I did ok!!! And big shout out to my discord daughter for letting me insert her into the story!!!! Love you daughter!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️


	25. Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAA SORRY!! I know it’s been a while!!!! I have no real excuses so please just accept this chapter as an apology!!! Bit of a warning there is a bit of blood mentioned this chapter!! If that bothers you just skip the second set of italics!! Other than that enjoy!!!!

He needed to find a way out and quickly. His eyes darted around as Caine led them out of the alleyway, her hand too tight around his forearm, the limb screaming in protest at its awkward position behind his back. He could even feel the biting cold of her sword pressed against his back. He needed to get back to the ship, they needed to  _ leave.  _ But Yong still needed to be reunited with his family. He wasn’t sure he could escape without risk of being sliced in half. 

“Don’t be so nervous, kid. We’re just going to have a little chat.” Caine said, pulling them to a halt again as another group of guards passed. He had noticed the pattern earlier, she was avoiding the others, but why? He fully expected to be paraded through the streets and thrown into the brig on the Coronan ship. He wondered briefly if that meant Cassie was also here, her and Caine were rarely separated, only sent out on missions of the utmost importance. Why were they sent after him then? He had no value to Corona, not anymore. “I can hear the wheels turning in your head from here. Don’t overthink this.” 

“If it’s just a chat, why don’t you let me go? Is this really necessary?” Varian hissed, Caine twisting his arm a little more. 

“If I release you, you’ll run.” Caine responded, pulling his arm further still. At this point he wouldn’t be surprised if she snapped it clean in half. 

“Why don’t you let me go and we’ll test that theory?” Varian grit out. He really shouldn’t be testing her patience, but he needed to gauge the situation for any opportunities that might allow him to escape. Maybe if he pushed her just far enough she’d let her guard down and he’d be able to escape. 

“You always were a smartass, weren’t you?” Caine sneered, cursing under her breath as she quickly moved them around the corner, slamming Varian into the wall. This time he definitely felt something pop in his arm. She released him for a second, her hand moving to clamp over his mouth instead, her body pressed up against his as she watched the soldiers go by. It was anything but comfortable, his one arm pinned to the wall, his back arched awkwardly in an attempt to keep the blade from digging into his back, his free hand trying to pry Caine’s hand from his mouth. Maybe this was his chance. She turned her head, her focus leaving him as she watched around the corner.

Varian took the opportunity, moving his hand to push her back. It was enough to send her stumbling back, a small misstep sending her tumbling to the ground. Her sword clattered against the dirt, slicing through the fabric of his shirt but leaving Varian unharmed. Caine looked startled for a second before she regained herself. She was on edge then, Caine never would’ve been caught so off guard otherwise. Varian didn’t stick around to find out, turning to run and scooping up the sword as he did so. He wasn’t fast enough, Caine’s hand wrapping around his injured ankle and pulling. The air left his lungs as he collided harshly with the ground, spots dancing in his vision for a brief second as his teeth hit together. 

“You are  _ not  _ getting away that easily. Listen, kid, I-“ Varian didn’t let her finish, swinging his sword through the air as he turned. To Caine’s credit she didn’t scream, didn’t so much as make a noise besides the small tsk that fell from her lips, her hand coming back red with blood when she touched her cheek. She was on him in a second, her foot stomping down on his wrist to get him to let go of the sword and keep him in place. He bit his tongue to suppress a cry as his bones groaned in protest at the new pressure on his wrist. He still tried to push her off, squirming on the ground, his hand clawing at her ankle to get her off. 

“Get the  _ fuck  _ off of me!” Varian said, his fingers just brushing the hilt of the sword. If he could only get a little closer. Caine adjusted her weight, claiming the sword for herself as Varian bit back another scream. He  _ swore  _ he heard something crack in his wrist, pain shooting up and down his arm. 

“Will you shut the  _ fuck up _ for one fucking second?! I don’t want to hurt you anymore, I just want to talk.” Caine shot back, her expression more exasperated than angry, the pressure on his wrist letting up, but the tip of the sword now at the base of his neck was anything but reassuring. 

“Could’ve fooled me.” Varian said, narrowing his eyes as he forced himself into a sitting position, rubbing his already purpling wrist. 

Caine looked angry again. She threw her sword to the side, grabbing the front of Varian’s shirt and pulling him close, her lip curled in a sneer. “Listen here, you little  _ shit,  _ I’m trying to be nice and giving you a chance to choose your fate before that bitch of a queen has you hung as soon as you step foot in Corona.” 

Rapunzel wouldn’t really do that, would she? He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was the victim here, but saying that would condemn Hugo, wouldn’t it? “Why should I trust you?” Varian asked, not backing down from their staring contest. 

“You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t trust anyone but yourself. But this might change your mind.” Caine let him go after another second, Varian frowning when she didn’t point the sword at him again. Instead she dug around in her pocket, pulling out a small glass vial, the purple liquid glinting in the sunlight. 

“No, no, don’t you  _ fucking  _ dare! You get that  _ shit  _ away from me!” Varian shouted, how no one heard them yet was beyond him, but it didn’t matter he just needed to get as far away from  _ that  _ as possible. He made to move again, Caine’s sword coming to rest on his shoulder, one strong swipe would cut his head clean off his shoulders. And he’d prefer not to be beheaded today. 

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Caine said with a roll of her eyes, uncorking the bottle with one hand, the cork bouncing off the ground. She shot Varian a wink as she downed the contents in one go. “Guess you can trust me now.” 

“Why?” Varian asked, his eyes wide in something akin to fear as he eyed the woman. Why would she do that? That  _ stuff,  _ that horrid  _ invention,  _ was not something to be taken so lightly. Was what she had to say really that important? 

Her face scrunched up as the potion took effect. Oh, right, she  _ had  _ to answer. “I told you, I just want to talk.” 

Varian stood then, and while the sword still rested against his neck it felt like  _ he  _ was in charge of the situation as his steely blue eyes clashed with Caine’s brown and purple laced ones. “Ok, let’s talk.” 

*******************************

_ Varian stared down at the purple mixture in the glass beaker. He’d finally done it, the truth serum was complete, and just in time. Rapunzel would be here any second. Then she’d have to tell the truth, she’d have to tell them none of this was his fault. He wasn’t to blame, they’d let him go, they’d let him  _ **_out._ ** _ She promised it would be okay and it wasn’t, so now he was forced to take things into his own hands. He stirred the serum into a nearby glass of water, making sure no tints of purple were present, the chains around his wrists rattling as he did so. He quickly glanced around his cell, straightening things to hide any evidence of what he was working on. He didn’t need a guard to catch him, after all the alchemy supplies was a privilege, bestowed upon him by the ever kind, ever gracious, Princess Rapunzel.  _

_ “Hello, Varian!” Varian jumped around the sound of Rapunzel’s chipper voice, it echoed almost mockingly off the stone walls. “Enjoying your new set up, I see! What are you working on?”  _

_ “Nothing!” Varian assured, stepping out of the way as Rapunzel stepped inside the cell, glancing around like one would admire a new room. It unnerved him, especially with his research haphazardly shoved into the string of the back of his apron. “I don’t really have a lot to work with to do any real experiments.”  _

_ Rapunzel froze, halting her walk around his cell, her back straightening as she slowly turned to face him. “Oh? Are you not satisfied by the things that we’ve provided for you? I didn’t have to give you  _ **_anything_ ** _ you know.”  _

_ “No-no I’m very grateful.” Varian reassured, fumbling to grab the glass of water, his hands shaking as he held it out to her. “See, I got the guards to bring an extra glass in case you were thirsty.”  _

_ Rapunzel eyed it curiously, her hands clasped behind her back, one of her delicate eyebrows arched. “Drink it.”  _

_ “What? I-there’s nothing wrong with it.” Varian stuttered, his hands shaking more prominently.  _

_ “If there’s nothing wrong with it you’ll drink it.” Rapunzel said, her smile firmly in place on her face. She let it drop, one of her hands hovering delicately over her heart, a sign of faux innocence. “There’s not anything wrong with it is there? You didn’t poison it did you?  _ **_Varian?_ ** _ Answer me,  _ **_Varian._ ** _ ”  _

_ The water threatened to spill over the edge of the cup like the tears threatened to spill past his eyelids. “Rapunzel,  _ **_please_ ** _.”  _

_ Rapunzel slammed her fist on the desk, the water and tears now falling to the ground. Rapunzel’s green eyes boring into his blue ones. “Drink it, Varian.  _ **_Drink it._ ** _ ”  _

******************************

“Drink up.” Caine said, sliding a glass of beer over to Varian. Varian eyed it for a moment, the golden contents swirling around inside of the glass. He brought his eyes up, glancing around the small tavern, an empty glass of milk sitting at a lone table by the window, the place empty besides the two of them and the young girl working. The girl looked nervous, her eyes darting between the two of them, her cheeks flushing red whenever she caught Caine’s eyes, before she quickly turned and headed to the back area, allowing them their privacy. She had almost looked guilty, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why she would be. “Well?” 

Varian brought his eyes back to Caine, the woman leaning forward on the table, her glass in her hand. Varian pushed his glass to the side, leaning forward as well. “You said we were going to talk, not drink.” 

“Why can’t we do both?” Caine said, nonchalantly taking a sip from her beverage, looking unusually calm for someone who still had the truth serum running through their veins. 

“I came here to talk and if that’s not what we’re going to do, I’m leaving.” Varian said, standing up from his seat and heading towards the door. He had much more important things to be doing than playing games with Caine. His hour was almost up, he had wasted enough time not looking for Yong he just hoped one of the others had found him. Regardless he needed to head back to the ship. 

“Rumor has it if we don’t return with you in the week, Rapunzel is going to drag you back herself.” Caine called, setting her glass down with an audible  _ thunk.  _

Varian stopped, but he didn’t dare turn around, his heart hammering in his chest. “Let her come. I’m not  _ scared  _ of her anymore.” It was a lie, a blatant lie, but he hoped his voice was strong enough that it wasn’t obvious. 

Caine hummed, a soft laugh escaping from her lips. “You should be.” 

“What do you mean?” Varian asked, turning to face her again as his heart pounded louder. Could she hear it? She must be able to, it filled the deafening silence, it was  _ all  _ he heard. 

“Sit and I’ll tell you.” Caine said, gesturing to his abandoned chair, a smug smile on her face like  _ she  _ was the one in control. 

“I can make you talk.” Varian said, narrowing his eyes at her, taking the smallest step back towards her. 

“You won’t. Not when you know how it feels. To have your most intimate thoughts put on display, picked apart,  _ mocked.  _ Or do you not remember that? How much  _ do  _ you remember, Varian?” Caine leaned back in her seat, that stupid smile still on her face. She won, she  _ knew  _ she won. 

Varian grit his teeth as he made his way back to his seat, plopping down harshly in it, glaring into Caine’s purple tinted eyes. “Talk.” 

“Drink.” Caine shot back, bringing her own drink to her lips and slamming the empty glass back down onto the table. Varian didn’t argue, there was no point, he wouldn’t force her to talk and she wouldn’t unless he drank. He reluctantly brought the glass to his lips and downing the contents in one go, the liquid burning his throat as it made its way down. Caine smiled wider as Varian wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. “Wonderful, now we’re on an even playing field.” 

“What-“ Varian didn’t finish the question, he didn’t need to, his stomach twisted and turned, his mind going hazy, his mouth feeling slightly numb. And he knew if he checked his reflection he’d see that terrible purple tint in his eyes. “You- what did you  _ do?”  _

“I didn’t do anything except ask the girl to add a little something to your drink. You didn’t actually think I’d give you the upper hand, did you?” Caine said, resting her head in her hands. 

Varian bit his tongue, trying not to let the words slip past his lips. It was no use, he  _ knew  _ it was no use, the words were the only things he could think of. A parasite infecting his mind as it fought to get out, let it out, he needed the words  _ out.  _ “Yes.” Varian ground out, his fingers digging into the wood of the table. 

Caine reached across, taking his hand in hers, offering him a small smile of mock comfort. “Don’t fight it, you’re only going to make this harder on yourself.” 

Varian pulled his hand away, glaring in Caine’s direction. “Stop stalling and get to the point already.” Varian hissed, trying to keep his glare as intimidating as possible. It must not have worked if the way Caine chuckled was anything to go by. 

Caine leaned back in her chair, laughing as she gestured to the girl working at the tavern. “Another round please, and keep them coming we’re going to be here for a while.” 

“No, we’re not-“ 

“How much does that pirate boy mean to you?” Caine asked, tilting her head to the side innocently as she relished in the way he squirmed under her stare. 

Varian felt his mouth run dry at the implications of her words. It was a vaguely concealed threat at best. He cringed as he felt the pull of the truth serum, compelling him to answer. “What do you mean?” 

“I think you know exactly what I mean.” Caine said, waiting for the realization to hit Varian. It didn’t take long, he was smart enough to put two and two together. Rapunzel was coming, Cassie and Caine were already here, it was going to be an  _ absolute bloodbath.  _ Varian paled, his stomach churning worse than when he’d taken the truth serum as visions of blood covered streets filled his mind.

“It’s a terrible thing, isn’t it?” Varian’s head snapped up as Caine’s words drifted through his hazy mind. She was standing now, slowly making her way around the table, her fingernails dragging over the wooden table, over his arm, across his shoulders, and finally resting on top of them. Varian swallowed thickly, trying desperately not to shiver at her touch as visions of the possible future still tainted his vision. “You can see it, can’t you? The blood filled streets, the houses burned to the ground, your pirate plaything with his throat slit, his blood on  _ your  _ hands.” 

_ “Rapunzel?” Varian gently pulled the girl into his lap, red pooling around her head in a gory halo, her eyes closed in a possibly eternal sleep. “Rapunzel, please wake up. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t-“  _

_ His voice hitched, a sob echoing through the courtyard, the sounds of the guards shoes hitting the pavement, the shouts, the screams, the looks of horror, Rapunzel being taken away, Varian being dragged away, the blood on his hands,  _ **_the blood on his hands._ **

**“** _ No.”  _ Varian said, turning in her grip and fixing her with a steely glare, his chair falling to the ground. “I won’t let that happen.” 

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Caine smiled, leaning back against a nearby table. “I’m going to offer you a choice that might very well save your boyfriend’s ass.” 

“And what’s that?” Varian asked, crossing his arms over his chest, not letting his glare waver. 

Caine’s look softened, her face falling, and for once she let her guard down, her eyes drifting to the floor. “It was the same choice I was offered. Your people or the one you love. Should be simple, right? But we both know that’s not the case. You choose your people and come home with us, your boyfriend goes away unharmed, but heartbroken. You choose your boyfriend and have to fight your way to freedom. You might not make it out alive,  _ he  _ might not make it out alive. I’ll give you until sundown tomorrow to make your choice, I can hold off Cassandra for that long. Choose wisely, you’ll have to live with that choice for the rest of your life.” 

And with that she was heading towards the door, leaving Varian alone with his thoughts and yet another decision weighing on his mind. And maybe it was still the truth serum that ran through his body that gave him the strength to reach out and grab Caine’s hand, but it didn’t matter he needed to hear what she chose, even if he already knew the answer. “What did you choose?” 

“Love.” Caine answered honestly, a sad smile crossing her face. “And not a single day goes by that I don’t regret standing by and doing nothing as the princess sentenced each and everyone of my men to death.” 

“Caine, I-“ 

_ “Don’t  _ make the same mistake.” Caine said, pulling her hand free. “Don’t forget, tomorrow at sundown, I’ll be waiting.” 

And then she was gone, leaving Varian alone in the tavern with their unfinished drinks. And for the first time Varian sat down and took a drink, and then another, and another, and another. Until the pain of his injuries were numb and his mind was blank, free of any upcoming decisions, free of the pain of the future, free of the pain from the past. 


	26. Why am I always so Blue around you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this chapter is an absolute beast almost 5k but she’s here!!! Not a lot happens I think but yeah!! We’ve also got another chapter or two before a very big chapter I have planned and I’m so excited to share that one with y’all!! Enjoy!!!!!

Hugo paced the deck, stopping occasionally to glance up at the sun now high in the sky. It had been over an hour and Varian still had yet to show up. His stomach was doing flips, his mind a jumbled mess at the new information he’d learned. He wondered if it was true, had Varian really tried to kill the queen? Did he care? Hugo had killed his fair share of nobility, Varian’s dad included. Was he right to judge Varian for his past? He didn’t know. All he knew was that he needed to make sure Varian was safe and they’d figure out the rest later. And wasn’t that something, _he_ was actually _concerned_ about _someone else._ He was screwed, he was so _fucking screwed,_ but it wouldn’t do him any good to dwell on it now, not when his nerves wouldn’t let him think properly. He cast another glance up at the sun, before turning his attention to the rest of the ship. Yong and Nuru were getting anxious too, he could see it in the way Yong wrung his hands and Nuru bit at her bottom lip. Hugo sighed, using his hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he cast another glance up at it. 

“I’m going to go look for him.” Hugo declared, dropping his hand to his side. 

“Is that a good idea?” Yong asked, nervously glancing from Nuru to Hugo and back again, his hands moving more fervently. 

“No, I don’t think it is.” Nuru responded, crossing her arms over her chest as she straightened from her slumped position. 

“We can’t leave him out there. He could be in trouble.” Hugo shot back, his words holding more concern than bite. Nuru’s face softened slightly and Hugo _hated_ the pity that was in her features. 

“He’ll be okay, but we can’t risk going out there again in this large a group. The guards are already suspicious. And we’re _not_ splitting up either.” Nuru said, closing the distance between them and cupping Hugo’s face. He leaned into the touch, his eyebrows furrowing in worry, his mind racing with the possibilities of where Varian could be. As much as he hated to admit it his boyfriend was a magnet for trouble. Is that what they were? Boyfriends? Lovers? No that felt wrong, too demeaning for Varian and they weren’t technically courting to be considered boyfriends. Partners then? Yeah, that sounded right. They were partners, and his _partner_ had a knack for getting into trouble. 

“We need to find him.” Hugo said, pulling away from her touch. 

“And we will, but we need to stick together. We can work out a plan first, we _need_ a plan.” Nuru said, a frown etched into her face. 

“Ok, _fine._ The plan is to find Varian.” Hugo hissed, turning on his heel and storming down the gangplank. He didn’t have time for this, he didn’t have time to waste for all he knew Varian could be being dragged in by the Coronan guards this very instant. He needed to find him and make sure he was safe. He didn’t want their last conversation to be an argument, he didn’t want there to be a last conversation with Varian. He just wanted to hold him tightly in his arms and- 

“Wait!” Hugo stopped at Yong’s call, the boy running to catch up to him, bending forward to catch his breath once he did. “I’m coming with you. It’s my fault you guys had to split up, the least I can do is help you find Varian.” 

Hugo looked down at the boy, Yong’s face set in a determined frown. He hadn’t forgotten about their talk in town, he hadn’t meant to be an asshole. This whole errand was just unexpected and something he’d rather _not_ do, but if it made Varian happy he’d do it. He just hadn’t realized he’d been taking out his annoyance on everyone else. He was trying to be better, he _was,_ he just didn’t think he was this damn selfish. But he could take a step in the right direction. Hugo gave a small nod of his head. “Okay, let’s go.” 

Yong’s face lit up. “Really?!” 

“Yes, really. Now let’s go before I change my mind.” Hugo said, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Yay!” Yong shouted, bouncing with excitement as he fished in his pockets. His smile widened as he waved a stick of dynamite in Hugo’s face. “In case we need a distraction.” Yong said with a wink. 

“No!” Hugo said, snatching the dynamite out of Yong’s hand, his green eyes blown wide in panic. Now was certainly not the time for explosives. _Especially_ not with the Coronan’s crawling around. “We need to be stealthy. We can’t make a scene like in Equis.” 

Yong stuck out his bottom lip in a pout, but ultimately relented, letting Hugo take the dynamite away. And with that out of the way they could go find- 

“You didn’t think you could leave me behind, did you?” Nuru asked, her feet hitting harshly into the deck as she leapt off the boat. 

“I thought you didn’t want to travel in a group right now.” Hugo said, narrowing his eyes at her and crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I don’t, but you two are going regardless and someone has to babysit.” Nuru teased, a smirk on her own lips. 

“Great, you can watch the kid while I look for Varian.” Hugo said, pushing Yong towards Nuru and shoving the dynamite into her hands, not bothering to hide the annoyed look on his face as he stalked ahead. So much for trying to be better. 

“I was talking about _you.”_ Nuru said, Hugo practically feeling the sting of her glare on the back of his neck, her arms almost certainly crossed over her chest, her feet firmly planted on the ground. 

Hugo took a deep breath as he turned to face her, fixing her with his own glare. He bit his tongue to stop himself from saying anything he’d regret. He was trying to be better, _he was trying to be better._ He reminded himself, so he didn’t reach across and strangle her. That didn’t mean he was going to back down from their impromptu staring contest, their battle of wills, she was challenging the captain and she was going to _lose._

“Uhh, maybe we should look for Varian now?” Yong said, sounding uncertain of himself, and obviously wanting out of the situation. 

“We should.” Hugo said simply, not taking his eyes off Nuru until she finally relented, dropping her arms to her sides. 

“Yes, we should.” Nuru agreed, exhaustion evident in her voice as they finally made their way into town. It was as quiet as the first time they went into town, but this time Hugo was all too aware of the clinking of armor in the distance, the soft footfalls of the soldiers lurking around every corner. Hugo walked through town like he normally would, his posture relaxed, but his eyes alert in case they needed to run. They shouldn’t have to, they weren’t after them, just Varian. But once they found Varian they would have to be sneakier. Given that they weren’t already too late that is. Hopefully he would be easy to find, hopefully he was just running a little late and they were going to intercept him, hopefully he hadn’t been caught, hopefully- 

Hugo ran face first into a door, a door that by all means shouldn’t be there, _someone_ had just so happened to open it as he was walking past. Hugo stumbled back holding his now throbbing head. He was lucky his glasses, or worse, his _nose_ didn’t break. Anger was already bubbling in his gut as he prepared to tear this _asshole_ a new one. “Hey, jackass! Watch- Varian?” 

Varian turned to face him, tripping over his feet and dissolving into a fit of giggles as Hugo grabbed his arms to steady him. Varian flashed him a smile, his cheeks flushed red, his eyes glossed over, and his breath absolutely _reeked_ of alcohol. “Hugo! I was jus ‘bout to come find you! Was worried ‘bout you, so worried.” Varian said, his words slurring together as he locked his hands together at the back of Hugo’s neck, leaning heavily on the taller male. 

“Holy shit, Var. How much did you drink?” Hugo asked, his hands easily finding Varians waist to keep him upright. Varian frowned, his eyebrows furrowing together as he thought, before he burst out into another fit of giggles, a small snort escaping every so often. If the situation wasn’t so dire he would’ve found it adorable. The little snort in his laughter, the way he trusted Hugo so readily, the way he still worried about Hugo, even the slight purple he’d never noticed in his eyes before. Had there always been purple in those blue eyes? He didn’t know and he certainly wasn’t going to find out now, there were much more important things to worry about. 

“Hmmm, I don’t know.” Varian’s voice pulled him back to the situation at hand, his half lidded eyes staring up at him. “One, two, maybe ten. Loss track.” 

This time Hugo’s brows furrowed. Varian didn’t seem like the type to sneak off and get wasted, he had been so adamant on finding Yong. What had happened between then and now? Had something bad happened? Was he hurt? He needed to know, he needed to make sure he was okay, because if any of those Coronan _assholes_ touched Varian he’d skin each and every one of them alive. “Varian, are you okay?” 

It was a loaded question he knew, he’d been unable to answer less when he was as wasted as Varian was currently, but still he asked in hopes Varian would be able to answer. Varian laughed, this time the sound borderline hysterical, his eyes watering slightly. “No.” 

_“Fuck.”_ Nuru mumbled under her breath. Her words reflected Hugo’s thoughts as he had a brief moment of panic. Even Yong looked on in concern as Varian started to curl in on himself, on the verge of a breakdown, and now was definitely not the time for a breakdown. 

Thankfully Hugo didn’t have to say anything, Nuru shoving the pair into a nearby alleyway so that they could talk in peace. “We’ll keep watch. You work this out.” Nuru said, offering a reassuring smile before disappearing back around the corner with Yong.

Hugo sent a silent thank you to Nuru before turning his attention back to Varian, the younger leaning against the wall, his face buried in his hands as his shoulders shook. Hugo gently pulled his hands away from his face, Varian allowing him only letting out a small whimper of protest, wincing at Hugo’s touch. Hugo frowned at that, was this about earlier? He had been pretty rough, his words harsh. Had _he_ been the reason Varian was in this state now? Guilt bubbled in his chest as he massaged soothing circles onto Varian’s wrists, until finally Varian pulled his hands away, cradling his right hand to his chest. Hugo cupped Varian’s face still hoping to provide some form of comfort. He used his thumbs to gently wipe the few stray tears from Varian’s cheeks, although there weren’t many, he was probably already dehydrated from the drinking and crying wasn’t going to help matters. He needed to get him water as soon as possible. But first he needed to get Varian to calm down. 

“Hey, it’s okay. What’s going on? Talk to me, Goggles. I need you to talk to me.” Hugo said, his thumbs still stroking Varian’s cheeks, the irony of his words not lost on himself. Yes it was hypocritical of him to ask Varian to talk to him when he refused to talk himself. He just couldn’t yet, the wound was still too fresh, but he would when the time was right, eventually, _maybe._

“I- Hugh, I- it’s too much. All of it, too much. Too many decisions, too many emotions, too many thoughts. It hurts, it all fucking _hurts.”_ Varian said, small hiccups escaping from his lips. 

Hugo smoothed back Varian’s hair, placing soft kiss after soft kiss to his forehead. He knew he was in too deep, falling too far, too fast, his heart aching at that fact that Varian was close to falling apart in his arms, feeling the pain as if it were his own. “What hurts? Tell me what hurts so I can fix it.” 

Hugo cradled Varian close, wrapping his arms around him, Varian’s face buried in his chest, a broken sob escaping from the smaller. And it broke Hugo’s fucking _heart._

“I- I, _everything.”_ Varian’s voice was soft, just loud enough for Hugo to hear it, shaking ever so slightly. Hugo held him closer still, at a loss of what to do. He wasn’t one to give comfort, hell he’d rarely _received_ it, but he needed, _wanted,_ to try for Varian. 

“Okay, I, uh, I need you to be more specific. Can you tell me anything specific?” Hugo asked, rubbing small circles on Varian’s back. Varian’s hiccups filling the small silence that followed. For a moment Hugo feared he wouldn’t answer. Then he let out another whimper, his hands grabbing at the fabric of Hugo’s shirt. 

“N-no. I don’t- stop, please stop. I don’t wanna answer. _Please,_ don’t make me answer.” Hugo’s heart sank further as Varian’s words became frantic, his breathing picking up. 

Hugo continued the circling motions, placing a soft kiss to the top of Varian’s head before tucking his head underneath his chin. “Ssshhh, it’s okay. You don’t have to answer. I won’t ask anymore questions, promise.” 

It was like a flip switched. Varian suddenly pushed out of Hugo’s arms, his fists lightly hitting Hugo’s chest as he shook his head frantically, tears falling freely and staining the dirt below. Varian’s voice was lower, sounding more broken, more _hurt_ , than before. _“Don’t._ Don’t say that _fucking word_ if you don’t mean it. I can’t- not again.” 

Hugo froze, watching as whatever anger had risen quickly disappeared, Varian slumping back against Hugo, his head resting on his shoulder. Hugo’s hands hovered over Varian’s back, not quite sure what his next step should be. What had caused Varian to react like that? He suddenly had a lot more respect for Nuru who had to deal with his drunk ass on more than one occasion. He had no idea what he was doing. Hesitantly he wrapped his arms back around the smaller, awkwardly patting Varian’s back as he cried into Hugo’s shoulder. “I won’t. I won’t say it anymore, okay? I- you have my word.” 

Varian seemed to accept that, his sobs slowing as he nodded. After a few minutes of awkward patting on Hugo’s part, Varian lifted his head, using his sleeves to scrub at his face. “I’m sorry. I-“ 

Unfortunately, the look that then crossed Varian’s face was a look that Hugo was all too familiar with. Varian’s face paling significantly as he doubled over. Hugo barely had enough time to step out of the way as Varian emptied the contents of his stomach onto the street. Hugo grimaced, his face scrunching up in disgust as he moved further out of Varian’s way, waiting from a safe distance until Varian was done. Varian slumped against the wall, sitting on the ground with his head resting back on the wall, his bangs clinging to his forehead with sweat, his face retaking that blotchy red that came with drinking, his eyes drooping.

“Sorry. ‘M sleepy.” Varian murmured as he started to fall forward. Hugo caught him before he ended up face first in his own vomit, hauling him to his feet. Hugo swung Varian’s arm over his shoulder, wrapping his other arm around Varian’s waist to keep him upright. 

“I know,” Hugo grunted, shifting Varian’s weight as he maneuvered them around the puke. “But, you need to stay awake until we get back to the ship. You can sleep there.” 

“‘M’kay.” Varian mumbled, his head lolling against his chest. Hugo had half a mind to just pick him up and carry him, but he did _not_ want to be on the receiving end if Varian needed to throw up again. Hugo led them to where Nuru and Yong were waiting, Yong immediately running up to them and hugging Varian. Varian awkwardly patting Yong’s back. 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry I ran off. I won’t do it again. I prom-“ 

“He’s fine.” Hugo said, cutting Yong off with a ruffle of his hair before he could trigger another breakdown. “Just had a little too much to drink. Once he gets some water and some sleep he’ll be good as new. Got it, short stack?” 

“I’m not that short.” Yong grumbled, releasing Varian and attempting to fix his hair, which arguably made it worse than Hugo’s ruffling did. 

“Sure you’re not.” Hugo teased, laughing at the pout on Yong’s face. It was a nice little distraction from the conversation he had with Varian. There was so much to unpack in those words, he didn’t even know where to begin. He hoped Varian retained some memory of this so he could ask, it would be much easier than trying to figure out another mystery, but then again when were things ever easy for him. 

“Hey, Yong, why don’t you start on ahead and make sure the path is clear for us?” Nuru said, settling on the other side of Varian as Yong gave a little salute and bounded ahead. Hugo gave her a grateful nod as the weight lessened. “So how is he _really?”_

“‘M tired.” Varian mumbled, lifting his head ever so slightly in Nuru’s direction. 

“I know, hun.” Nuru said, patting Varian’s chest as she looked to Hugo for an actual answer. 

“Well,” Hugo sighed. “Could be worse, I guess. He’s very emotional though. I’m worried-“ 

“Not emotional.” Varian grumbled with a small hiccup. 

“That’s better than you. At least he didn’t try to fight anyone.” Nuru teased, flashing Hugo a small smile that he knew to mean they would talk later, which Hugo both looked forward to and dreaded. Still, Hugo laughed, appreciating Nuru’s attempt to lighten the mood at least for the time being. 

“Excuse you, I’m a very polite drunk.” Hugo said, placing a hand over his heart in mock offense. 

“If by polite you mean handsy, then yes.” Nuru shot back, her tone light and playful. Hugo smiled, relishing in the small moment of normalcy, a reply on the tip of his tongue. 

“Guys, we need to turn around!” Yong said, frantically running back to the group as he pointed to their ship. A ship that was crawling with Coronan soldiers. 

_“Fuck me.”_ Hugo ground out, turning around as fast as their little group could. Hugo’s eyes darted every which way, looking for somewhere they could hide until the guards left. A store would be their best bet or even the tavern, if they were lucky, an inn. “Yong, can you check that store for us? Make sure there are no soldiers.” 

“On it!” Yong said, running inside the building Hugo had gestured to as Hugo and Nuru slowly made their way over. 

“Where we going? Wanna sleep.” Varian said, trying to turn back around. Hugo narrowly dodged an elbow to the face. 

“Were going to find somewhere else to sleep, okay? The ship’s not safe.” Hugo said, keeping his arm firmly in place around Varian’s waist as he tried to get free, Nuru stepping back completely, an amused smirk on her face. 

“Was safe this morning.” Varian argued, trying to climb _over_ Hugo’s arm. Hugo hoped he wasn’t that idiotic when he was drunk, but one look at Nuru told him he was. And one elbow to the face told him karma was a fucking bitch. 

“You weren’t _fucking_ wasted this morning.” Hugo said, between grunts. Finally succeeding in just slinging the smaller over his shoulder. 

“Hey! Put me down!” Varian yelled, kicking his legs and pounding his fists against Hugo’s back. It was almost reminiscent of their first meeting all that time ago. He couldn’t help the small smile that worked its way across his lips, an odd look from Nuru causing it to disappear. 

“Yeah, yeah, in a minute.” Hugo drawled, smiling once again as Yong reappeared giving a thumbs up before disappearing into the building once again. Hugo was about to enter the building when he felt Varian go limp, a soft snore coming from the smaller boy. Hugo shook his head fondly, of course Varian would be the type of drunk to go through twenty different emotions then pass the fuck out. Hugo pushed the door open, carefully making his way inside so as to not bump Varian into anything. 

“Oh, and speak of the devil!” Hugo jumped at the sound of the new voice, a plump, short, mid aged woman standing behind a counter, her grey curls tied up in a ribbon. The little shop filled with various teas and herbs, Yong standing by the woman at the counter. “Your little friend here was just telling me all about you, but no matter we can continue the conversation upstairs. I’ve got a tea brewing that will help with the hangover the other one’s bound to have.” 

Hugo raised an eyebrow, casting a curious glance at Nuru, who simply shrugged. “It’s okay. We can trust her. She’s a friend’s mom.” Yong said, taking Hugo’s hand and pulling him towards the stairs. 

“Fine, but the first sign of trouble we’re _gone.”_ Hugo whispered, Yong giving a fervent nod in response. 

“Here we are! It’s not much but it will do for the night. Anything to help Cate’s friends.” The woman said, pushing open the door at the top of the stairs with her hip. Hugo glanced around the small room. There was a small curtain on the far side, hiding a large bed. A kitchen placed opposite, where a kettle was set on the stovetop, mostly likely brewing the tea she had talked about. In the center was a small couch and a coffee table. “You can set him down on the bed. I’ll fetch some extra blankets, but feel free to make yourselves comfortable.” 

“Thank you.” Nuru said, waiting for the door to close before turning on Yong. “Okay, who the _fuck_ is that?! And who’s Cate?” 

“She’s a friend. I met her at the tavern. She said if I needed anything to ask and this so happened to be her mom!” Yong explained, Hugo rolling his eyes as he set Varian down on the bed, propping him on his side. 

“That doesn’t make her a friend. She could be tricking us.” Hugo said, moving back into the main area of the room. 

“I don’t think so.” Yong said, with a soft hum, rocking on his feet. “Besides you said the first sign of trouble we leave, and there’s no trouble.” 

Hugo ran a hand down his face, trying desperately not to argue with a literal _five year old._ “Okay, fine, _whatever.”_ Hugo relented with a sigh of defeat. It was a better arrangement than sleeping on the streets, he would know, he spent most of his childhood doing it. 

“I’m back! We’ve got a few extra blankets and I even managed to scrounge up a pillow or two.” The woman said, placing the items on the couch, before moving about the kitchen and pulling out enough cups for the group. “So, the lot of you got names?” 

“Yeah! Varian’s sleeping, and Nuru’s the girl, and the grumpy one is Hugo, and I’m Yong!” Yong said excitedly, the woman nodding along as she poured the tea, freezing when Yong got to his name. Hugo stiffened, Nuru leaning forward on the balls of her feet, and they waited, waited for a sign that they needed to _run._

“Yong?” The woman repeated, wiping her hands on her apron as she turned to face Yong, her eyes searching his. 

“What’s your name?” Yong asked, oblivious to the tension in the room. 

“Right, sorry. My name is Sonia.” She hurriedly placed the filled cups onto the coffee table, gesturing for the group to sit as she brought a hand to her mouth in thought. “Forgive me, but you wouldn’t happen to be Yong, Mei’s boy?” 

“You know my mom?” Yong asked, cradling his cup of tea close to his chest, Nuru settling on the couch beside him, obviously thinking the situation was safe now. Hugo still wasn’t sure, eyes darting from Sonia to Yong to Varian. 

“Yes.” Sonia laughed, kneeling in front of Yong the biggest smile on her face. “Yes, I do, and she’s been worried sick about you. Oh, dear, she’s going to be so relieved. You know, I told her not to give up hope, _I told her._ Oh, I have to get word to her right away! She’ll be so happy.” 

Sonia was moving around the room now, more or less talking to herself as she grabbed a quill and paper. Yong looked like he was on the verge of tears, Nuru’s arm wrapped around him in a hug. “Do you know where she lives?” Nuru asked. 

“Oh! Yes of course! How stupid of me! You probably want to go see her for yourself. I’ll write up some directions then. We’ll get you some food for the road and off you go in the morning.” Sonia said, scribbling on the paper. 

“In the morning?” Yong repeated, his hands shaking slightly. 

“Yes. It’s about three hours on foot, if you leave now you won’t make it before nightfall and the roads are dangerous at night. On top of that your friend, uh, Varian? Varian, yes, is in no condition to travel. Poor boy really did a number on himself at the tavern didn’t he? Oh I’m sure Cate will have a good story about that one.” Sonia rambled, paying little attention to the group as Nuru coaxed Yong into drinking some tea to calm his nerves. Hugo still stood at the edge of the room, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance as Sonia continued to ramble. None of it he wanted to hear, none of it was helpful, it was all stupid, useless, _shit,_ and they shouldn’t be wasting their time with it. 

“The directions, _please.”_ Hugo ground out, stretching out a hand for the parchment. 

Nuru shot him a glare over her shoulder. “Why don’t you take some tea to Varian? We’ll wait for the directions. Besides, Yong might have some questions about the wellbeing of his family.” Nuru hissed, shoving a cup of tea into Hugo’s hands. Hugo took it with a roll of his eyes, disappearing around the other side of the curtain.

“Oh, he’s a persistent one isn’t he?” Sonia laughed. 

“That’s one word for it, sure.” Nuru said, annoyance dripping from her voice. 

“So, dear, what is it you want to know?” Sonia asked Yong, he assumed. 

He tuned out the rest of the conversation, placing the tea on the bedside table, and sitting on the edge of the bed. He gently ran his fingers through Varian’s hair, suddenly feeling very exhausted, the events of the day taking its toll. There was still so much they needed to talk about, with all the things Varian said tonight, and the things he heard from the Coronan soldier, they _needed_ to talk. Maybe they had rushed this, maybe there were too many obstacles in their way, but he was still going to fight tooth and nail to have Varian for as long as possible, even if it ended because of his own stupidity. Hugo pulled the bracelets from his pocket, he should just get rid of them, he _should,_ but some sick part of him loved holding onto the trinket as a reminder of his kill. It was twisted as fuck, he just couldn’t let it go. Even though he knew, _he fucking knew,_ it would come to bite him in the ass later. He stuffed the bracelets back into his pocket, the weight feeling unusually heavy. Maybe he could find some way to have the stone fitted into something else, something more fitting of Varian, that way he could keep his trinket without the pressing guilt. Yeah, that might work. He’d look for a place as soon as possible. 

Hugo continued to move his fingers through Varian’s hair, the blue strands moving around his fingers. _Wait,_ the blue strands, _the blue fucking strands._ A defining feature that the Coronan soldier said they were looking for, a defining feature that made Varian stand out in a crowd of thousands. It was something that made him unique, so terribly unique, so distinctly _Varian,_ it was sure to get them caught. Hugo twirled the strands around his finger, his heart hammering in his chest as he thought about what had to be done, he had to take something else from Varian. He didn’t have a choice, _he had to._ Hugo’s hand shook as he pulled a knife from his boot, bringing it to Varian’s hair and watching as the blue strands fell to the ground. _Gone_ , gone, gone, gone, another piece of Varian gone, and it was all his fault. 

Hugo smoothed back Varian’s hair, placing a shaky kiss to his forehead, his eyebrows knitting together as he fought back tears of his own for some unknown reason. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking _sorry.”_ Hugo whispered as he slid into the bed, holding Varian as close and as tight as possible. And only then did he let a tear fall, falling into the exact place those lovely blue strands had been cut from. 


	27. Happy Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!!! I just wanted to say a quick thank you for reading, kudoing, and commenting on my little fic here!!! I really appreciate each and everyone of y’all!!! So question for y’all ive gotten quite a bit of lovely art for this fic and was wondering if it’s better to put the art at the end of the new chapters or at the end of the chapter they are relevant to? I wanna make sure these lovely artists get the recognition they deserve!! And I’d also like to apologize with how long this took to come out and how long it is!! The next chapter should be the big chapter I’ve had planned for quite some time!!! On that note I apologize in advance and enjoy!!!!!

“So, dear, what is it you want to know?” Sonia asked, dumping a healthy amount of sugar into her tea and mixing it in. 

Yong fiddled with his own cup, he wasn’t much of a tea drinker, but he found himself more fixated on the beverage than the conversation. What did he even want to ask? What was there to ask? He just wanted to see them. “Umm.” Yong started, looking to Nuru for direction. 

Nuru gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, briefly glancing over her shoulder where Hugo had disappeared. “How are they?” Nuru asked, Yong sending her a grateful look. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to get any questions out. He was still reeling from the fact that they were still here, and looking for him no doubt. 

“As well as they can be.” Sonia said with a sigh, taking a small sip from her cup before continuing. “After Yong went missing they relocated to New Pyre.” 

“New Pyre?” Yong asked, the name not ringing a bell. 

“Yes, New Pyre. After the raid the new town was created, a lot of folks didn’t feel comfortable staying here, and New Pyre is close enough to benefit from the docks and far enough to be spared in any raids.” Sonia elaborated, waving her hand through the air as she set her tea down. “Enough of that talk though. You’re a big brother now!” 

“I’m… a big brother?” Yong repeated, a smile working its way onto his face. Sonia nodded, her large smile even visible as she took another sip from her tea. 

“Congrats!” Nuru said, pulling Yong into a side hug and ruffling his hair. 

“Mom must be so happy! She always wanted another baby! She said I’d make the best big brother.” Yong said excitedly, returning Nuru’s hug as best he could. “I bet dad is so happy too! Is it a girl? He wanted a girl.” 

Sonia smiled sadly at that, setting her tea down on the table and grabbing Yong’s hands. “I’m sorry, dear, but your father passed away. About a year ago he took a crew out to go look for you, and, well, they were hit by a storm. There were no survivors.” 

“My dad’s…. gone?” Yong said, the words sinking in and hitting him full force. If he hadn’t already set his tea on the table he’d have dropped it. His hands were shaking as he brought them to his face, tears already rolling down his cheeks. His dad was gone. His heart  _ hurt _ . He just wanted Sonia to be wrong, his dad was out there, he  _ knew  _ he was. Yong didn’t fight as Nuru pulled him into her arms, rocking him gently as she hummed a soft tune. 

“I’ll just leave you to rest now. I know it’s a lot to take in, dear, just know it  _ does  _ get better.” Sonia said, patting Yong’s back before heading out the door. 

Yong cried into Nuru’s arms, freely sobbing, but still mindful of his volume as he didn’t want to disturb Varian and Hugo. He missed his family, and it hurt that he’d never get to see at least one of them again. Was it selfish of him to want them all to be together? Happy and healthy and  _ alive.  _ It just hurt a lot and he missed his dad. He never even got to say goodbye. It sucked. 

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.” Nuru whispered, running her hand through Yong’s hair as she continued to rock him, repeating the words as if they’d make the pain disappear. 

“I miss him.” Yong said, his voice hitching in his throat as another sob wracked his body. 

“I know. I know.” Nuru said, something in her voice telling Yong that maybe she did know, maybe she did understand how he was feeling, so he held on tighter, hugging her as if it might take away both of their pain. Yong didn’t know how long they stayed like that, all he knew was at some point during the night he fell asleep, and at some point Nuru left. 

******************************

The first thing Varian registered when he woke up was the searing pain in his head, like a hot poker was being shoved repeatedly through his head, and he knew what hot pokers felt like, the scar on his thigh was evidence of that. The next thing that he realized came in waves. He was in a bed with a pair of arms wrapped around him, and arms typically had a  _ person  _ attached,  _ and  _ he didn’t remember  _ shit.  _ Which meant he was  _ in bed  _ with  _ a person  _ and  _ didn’t remember shit.  _ He was pressed so close to their chest that he couldn’t tell who they were, and quite frankly he was scared to look. Had they… _ no,  _ he didn’t want to think about that, plus he was still clothed so that was a good sign.  _ Wasn’t it?  _ Fuck, how much time had he lost? What had he done? He was trying desperately to wrack his brain for clues, but it was hard to think of anything with his splitting headache. Why had he thought drinking that much was a good idea? That was a starting point at least he remembered drinking, his conversation with Caine, their little fight before, but anything after,  _ gone.  _ He vaguely remembered leaving the tavern,  _ maybe?  _ But that could just be his mind trying to fill in the blanks from how he got from point A to point B. 

“I can  _ hear  _ you thinking.” Even though the voice was familiar Varian went straight into panic mode, pushing away from the other person and pressing himself up against the wall, his legs tangled in the blankets. It was only after the loud thud and the disgruntled string of curses that he registered who this person was. 

“Hugo?” Varian asked, carefully peeking over the side of the bed. 

“Well, good morning to you too, Sweet Cheeks.” Hugo groaned, rubbing his back most likely from where he’d landed. 

“Hugh!” Varian laughed in relief, lunging into Hugo’s arms and promptly knocking him over again, wrapping Hugo in a tight hug as he settled on Hugo’s lap. “I’m so glad it’s you! I thought- did we- it’s morning?  _ Fuck. _ ” Varian said, digging the heels of his palms against his eyes, trying desperately to fight off the headache. 

“Yeah, it’s morning.” Hugo confirmed, gently taking Varian’s hands in his and placing a kiss to the inside of his wrists. “But don’t worry. There’s no rush. We have all the time in the world to figure shit out.” 

“And we didn’t- did we?” Varian asked, his face flushing at the thought. He did not want his first time with Hugo to be when he was absolutely shit face drunk. 

“No. Nothing happened. Well, I wouldn’t say  _ nothing,  _ you did elbow me in the face.” Hugo said with a soft laugh, which in turn made Varian turn redder. 

“Sorry.” Varian said, gently cupping Hugo’s face and running his thumb over the small bruise that had formed along Hugo’s cheekbone. “Does it hurt?” 

“Only a little.” Hugo responded with a shrug, his face turning red as Varian placed a kiss over the bruise, slowly making his way to Hugo’s lips. Varian kept the kiss short and sweet, resting his forehead against Hugo’s as soon as he pulled away. Hugo smiled, settling his hands on Varian’s hips. “How are you feeling?” 

“Honestly? Like shit, but I guess that’s what I get for drinking that much when I should’ve been looking for Yong.” Varian chuckled, running a hand through his hair only to freeze as the realization hit him.  _ Yong, _ they were supposed to be looking for Yong. Had they found him? Was he gone for good? Varian leapt to his feet, his head screaming in protest at the sudden movement, his feet still tangled in blankets doing him no favors as he struggled to both gain balance and get out of them. “Where’s Yong? Did you find him? Is he okay? I was so  _ stupid,  _ so  _ fucking stupid.  _ We need to find him. What if he’s hurt? Fuck, I- we need to go. We need-“ 

Varian’s words cut off into a yelp as he tripped over the blankets, arms flailing as he tried to regain his balance, Hugo catching him before he could fall to the ground. “Someday we’ll have a normal conversation without you tripping over something.” Hugo teased, Varian’s face heating up in embarrassment. 

“We need-“ Varian started only to be cut off by Hugo gently placing a finger to his lips. 

“Yong is here. He’s  _ okay.  _ We even know where his family is now. But that can wait until we’ve got you feeling a little better. Plus, there are some things I want to talk to you about.” Hugo said, handing Varian the teacup that had been sitting on the bedside table. “It’s supposed to help with the hangover. I’m sure it’s cold now, but should still do the trick.” 

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Varian asked, gratefully taking the cup, his posture more relaxed now that he knew Yong was safe. At least it was one less thing he had to worry about. Varian took a sip from the cup, his nose wrinkling in distaste at the bitter flavor. 

“Did you- was  _ this _ because of me? Because of the things I said? I know what I said was shitty but I’m working on being better. I didn’t- if I caused  _ this  _ I don’t-“ Varian felt his heart drop. He’d never seen Hugo so upset. Angry, sure, but never really genuinely upset. It hurt, it hurt  _ him  _ to see Hugo like this. Varian set the cup down, cupping Hugo’s face once again. 

“No, no. It’s not your fault. I’m- I just have a lot of things on my mind, but it’s going to be okay. I’m going to make sure it’s okay.” Varian said, although he wasn’t sure how much of it he believed himself. It  _ was  _ partially because of Hugo, but not his words, it was the decision Varian had to make, the decision that needed to be made before sundown. He didn’t know what to do. He knew what he  _ wanted,  _ but that didn’t make it the right choice. Was there even a right choice? All he knew was he couldn’t tell the others, they’d want to fight, and he couldn’t let them get hurt because of him, he couldn’t put that decision on their shoulders. It was his and his alone to bear. 

His words seemed to have the opposite effect of what he wanted, Hugo’s grip on his forearms tightening, like he was scared to let him go, like he’d lose him if he did, his green eyes wide in panic. “What does that mean? Varian, what’s-“

“Oh good, you’re up.” Nuru said, standing with the curtain pulled back, her hand still resting on the drapes, a bag settled on her hip. “If we leave now we can get to New Pyre by lunch time. I’m assuming Hugo’s already filled you in?” 

“Uh, kind of?” Varian said, taking a step back from Hugo. Hugo still keeping their hands together, his eyes still on Varian. 

“Typical.” Nuru said, with a roll of her eyes, tossing the bag on the bed. “Basically we know where Yong’s family is so we’re heading out as soon as you’re ready. Sonia, the woman whose house this is, let us stay the night and is preparing some sandwiches downstairs for the trip. It’s about a three hour trip, but like I said if we leave soon we can be there by lunch and hopefully be back here before sundown. Granted the Coronan soldiers are gone, we can set sail before dawn.” 

“Coronan soldiers are on our ship? Do they know I’m with you guys? Do they know I’m here?” Varian asked, panic rising in his chest. He shouldn’t have trusted Caine, he should’ve known she’d turn him in the second she could. 

“Don’t know. Didn’t exactly ask them.” Hugo said, a slight frown on his face as he watched Varian closely. Varian in turn studied Hugo’s face, he looked as guilty as Varian felt. Were they both hiding something from each other? 

“There’s some stuff in the bag you might want to take a look at.” Nuru said, standing awkwardly by the two males, neither of them seeming to pay her any mind. “I’ll leave you to it then. Be ready in ten?” Nuru asked with a nod, closing the curtain to give them some privacy, obviously sensing the odd tension in the room. 

Varian turned away, busying himself with ruffling through the bag. There were all sorts of things inside, chemicals, books, and even some gauze and medication for his ankle. Nuru must have raided their ship while they were sleeping. He smiled at the thought, pulling the gauze and medicine from the bag and sitting back on the bed. Varian winced as he bent down, his fingers working to undo the laces of his boots, the pain in his wrist much more evident than it had been before, Hugo watching him like a hawk the whole time. It was starting to set him on edge. 

“You can stop staring.” Varian said, lifting his eyes for a brief moment to meet Hugo’s green ones. 

“Var, what did you mean, when you said you were going to make sure everything was okay?” Hugo asked, kneeling in front of Varian and taking over undoing the laces, Varian’s fingers shaking too much to complete the task. 

“Nothing. I- it’s nothing. Just bad word choice is all.” Varian said, letting Hugo remove his boot as he sipped at the remaining tea. It was still as bitter as before, just a good deal colder. 

“You sure?” Hugo asked, his tone almost neutral as if he knew he was toeing a line. Hugo still kept his eyes locked with Varian’s even as he applied the medication to his abused ankle. Varian’s breath hitching at the sensation of the cool gel on his burnt skin. 

“I’m sure.” Varian said, his eyes darting away from Hugo’s, his hand absentmindedly rubbing at his injured wrist now that he couldn’t busy himself with drinking the tea. 

“Varian, we  _ need  _ to talk about this. If something is hurting you I  _ need  _ to know.” Hugo insisted, his voice hardening like he was preparing for a fight as he wrapped the gauze a little too tightly, Varian wincing slightly at the action. 

“And we will.” Varian said, his tone matching Hugo’s as he slipped on his boot, not bothering to retie the laces. “Just not now, but  _ soon.  _ I  _ promise.”  _

The word tasted more bitter than the tea on his tongue, because he knew they’d never talk about it, he wouldn’t give them the chance.  _ It was a fucking lie.  _ It made him feel  _ sick.  _ He didn’t want to lie to Hugo, but it was to protect him. He would understand, one day. But for now he’d enjoy the little time he had left, so he plastered a fake smile on his face, letting it fall the moment he claimed Hugo’s lips in a needy kiss. Because it very well might be their last, because just like the promise he made, he was about to break Hugo’s fucking  _ heart.  _

The journey to New Pyre was quiet. There was a thick tension in the air, an uneasiness that came with the beginning of the end. No one spoke, no one needed to. In just a short amount of time their group would be down to three, well as far as the others knew. Varian knew that after today, things would go back to normal. Yong would be safe at home, Hugo and Nuru would set sail and go back to life on the sea, and Varian, he’d go home to Old Corona back to life on the farm, back to being amongst stuck up nobles and fake princesses, probably forced to marry a duchess of some sort, and he’d be  _ miserable.  _ But things would never be normal again. As much as he would try to fit back in, he’d never be able to. His experiences had changed him, for better or for worse Varian was a different person now, they  _ all  _ were. 

Varian looked up at Hugo, the taller smiling down at him as he gave his hand a squeeze, Varian’s gaze falling to where their hands were linked together. Hugo’s hand practically engulfed Varian’s, Hugo’s much more calloused and rough than Varian’s own. They were by all means opposites, never meant to cross paths, never meant to become  _ this.  _ And now, whatever fantasy of freedom Varian had built up was coming crumbling down. He was finally going to get his wish of returning home, only to realize that he didn’t want it anymore. He didn’t  _ belong,  _ he never had. He belonged  _ here,  _ with Hugo and Nuru and Yong, at sea. But as much as it pained them he had to give it all up to keep them safe, they couldn’t  _ die  _ for him, not now, not  _ ever.  _

Varian removed his hand, stuffing both of them in his pockets instead, his eyes focusing on the dirt beneath his boots instead of the hurt and confused look on Hugo’s face. His heart felt like it was splintering into tiny pieces. It would be easier this way, Hugo could recover from a breakup, if he knew he was leaving to protect him, he’d never stop fighting for him. 

“You okay, Goggles?” Hugo asked, his voice sounding terribly loud amongst the quiet crunching of the burnt grass beneath their feet. 

“I’m fine.” Varian said, Hugo shooting him an unconvinced look. Varian rolled his eyes playfully, a soft shaky smile on his lips. He let out a sigh, wrapping his arms around himself, it wasn’t cold out, but a shiver still went up his spine. “It’s just bittersweet is all.” Varian elaborated, stiffening as Hugo pulled him to his side, rubbing Varian’s arm as if to stave off the cold. 

“I know, but Yong’s almost home and then we can do whatever we want.” Hugo said, placing a soft kiss to Varian’s temple, letting his lips linger longer than usual. He knew something was wrong, Varian could tell by the way Hugo hardly let him leave his side. He  _ knew  _ he was losing him, and it hurt Varian’s heart more. 

“Yeah.” Varian sighed, glancing at the high walls of the city that now stood before them. It was a strange sight, the city looking to be dropped in the middle of a sandy desert, the surrounding charred trees cleared, the iron gates keeping the citizens in and everyone else  _ out.  _ The gates stretched as far as the eye could see, separating the rest of Koto from the docks. 

“There it is, New Pyre.” Nuru announced, stuffing the map into her pocket. Yong looked nervous, his eyebrows furrowed together as he eyed the city with contempt. Hugo tightened his hold on Varian, bringing him as close as possible. And Varian’s heart sunk as now began his final hours with his friends, with  _ Hugo.  _

*********************

Hugo knew he had messed up, he’d more than messed up apparently, he’d royally  _ fucked up.  _ Varian was barely looking at him, falling stiff under his touch, pulling away whenever he tried to hold his hand. Despite the younger constantly telling him it wasn’t his fault, Hugo had a hard time believing it. They had hardly talked since Varian woke up, their journey was even quieter, an odd tension in the air as if they were heading towards inevitable doom. And Varian had said that  _ word,  _ the one he’d freaked out about just hours before, it left Hugo with this terrible sense of unease. Varian was hiding something, he knew he was, he just didn’t know what, and the little  _ bastard  _ refused to talk. Now they were in New Pyre and he couldn’t help but feel it was the beginning of the end. He could practically taste the change in the air, maybe he was getting ahead of himself, maybe he was more attached to Yong than he thought, maybe that’s all that was making Varian fidgety too. He prayed to whatever fucked up deity that dictated their lives that that was the case. 

The small group approached the gate, guards placed along the bottom, some on top of the wall arrows pointed down at them. Hugo didn’t remember much about the last time he was in Koto but he didn’t remember them being so  _ defensive.  _

“State your business here.” A guard said, cutting the group off from entering the city. 

“Well, aren’t you a friendly bunch?” Hugo said with a roll of his eyes, his annoyance evident on his face as he leaned forward just a tad to jab the guards metal plated chest. 

“State your business, or  _ turn around.”  _ The guard said through gritted teeth, his patience obviously wearing thin as he swatted Hugo’s hand away. 

Hugo laughed at the guards demeanor. Just because they had to guard a gate didn’t mean they had to have a stick up their ass. “Would you get a look at this guy, Goggles? Someone doesn’t know how to have a little fun, eh?” 

Varian shook his head, slipping out of Hugo’s grip and pushing him back slightly. “Sorry about him. We’re, uh, we’re here to, uh,-“

Hugo frowned, it only deepened when Varian looked to  _ Nuru  _ for help instead of him. It stung his pride a little, still he captured Varian’s wrist, his hand resting on Hugo’s chest. Varian at least acknowledged him then, although it was only a brief glance, but at this point he’d take what he could get. And was that  _ guilt  _ he saw flash across his face? 

“We’re merchants!” Nuru chirped, her voice much more cheery than usual as she held up the bag filled to the brim with chemicals. 

The guard poked through the bag, giving a satisfied hum when he found nothing unusual. “Why come all the way out here? Most merchants just stick to the docks.” 

“Well, no one’s there, and we need to sell our stuff. We need to make ends meet, and the docks don’t have enough foot traffic.” Nuru said with a pout, placing a delicate hand on the guards upper arm, and Hugo had to suppress a gag. He had to give her credit, she did know how to make people underestimate her so she could get what she wanted, and if the guards flushed face was anything to go by it was working too. “And I would just be  _ so grateful  _ if you let us through.” 

“Sorry Miss, can't do that.” The guard said, clearing his throat and straightening his posture. Nuru frowned, her lips pursing into a pout. Hugo took a small step back, because Nuru was either about to fake a breakdown or deck the guy, and he didn’t want to be in the way of either. She opened her mouth and- 

“Yong? Little brother?” Another soldier came running up to the group, the man looking to be a few years older than Hugo and a great deal taller too. He had to be at least be 6’4, his muscles looking like they were barely being confined in the fabric of his uniform. Hugo had a hard time believing that  _ that _ and Yong came from the same gene pool. 

“Shang!” Yong shouted, running to meet his brother halfway, laughing with delight as he was lifted into the air and spun around. 

“I can take it from here.” Shang said, nodding to the other guard as he set Yong back down. He hugged Yong tightly, tears in both brothers eyes. “I missed you so much. We thought- it doesn’t matter really. You’re here now and you’re  _ safe.”  _

“I missed you too! I missed everyone so much.” Yong said, hugging his brother as tightly as he could.

Hugo even found himself smiling softly at the moment, it was surprisingly touching watching Yong reunite with his brother. He briefly wondered if it would be the same when he reunited with Donella. Was she even looking for him? He’d already long since missed their meetup deadline. Was she worried about him like Yong’s family was? Why did he care so much? He jumped slightly as Varian rested his head on his shoulder, lacing their fingers together, a soft look on his face as well. That’s why he cared, Varian had changed him in ways Donella and Nuru couldn’t, he’d shown him what it felt like to be truly and unconditionally  _ loved.  _ Hugo’s heart fluttered as he glanced down at Varian, the soft curve of his lips, the freckles dusting his cheeks, the point of his nose, he was just so goddamn  _ beautiful.  _ But it wasn’t just that anymore, was it? He was smart, and kind, and he had an attitude like no other. Not to mention he was a fighter, he’d fight tooth and nail for what he believed in. Hugo didn’t deserve him, and yet here he was. He just hoped whatever uneasiness there had been that morning was due to Varian’s hangover and nothing else. Hugo placed a kiss on the top of Varian’s head, the frayed strands of blue tickling his nose. That would be the cause for an argument he was sure of it, as soon as Varian noticed anyways. 

Varian blinked, his eyes darting up to look at Hugo through his dark lashes before turning his face up to look at Hugo, his eyebrows furrowing. “What?” Varian asked softly, concern lacing his voice. 

Hugo brought his free hand up to cup Varian’s cheek, practically melting at the concern his partner showed. He didn’t deserve him in the slightest. He didn’t care if what that guard said was true or not, sure he was still curious, but it didn’t matter in the end, he wanted Varian forever. Regardless of the past, regardless of the future, regardless of all the obstacles they would surely face, he wanted Varian through it all. Hugo shook his head fondly. “Nothing, Sweet Cheeks, nothing at all.” 

Varian looked like he wanted to say more, his eyes searching Hugo’s, but he didn’t, a flash of hurt passing over his features before he turned to face the reunited brothers again. Hugo frowned at that, the soft look on his face being replaced with one of concern. Something nagged at the back of his mind, telling him to push the subject, to ask Varian what was wrong, what was going on, to reassure him that he was  _ here for him.  _ But he pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to take from Yong’s moment, besides they’d have all the time in the world to talk soon enough. 

“Sorry about that.” Shang said, wiping the tears from his eyes as he stood. “Thank you for bringing my brother home. If there’s anything I can do for you let me know.” 

The corners of Hugo’s lips twitched, now  _ that  _ was an offer. He racked his brain, thinking of all the supplies they needed that they could get from Yong’s family. Depending on how wealthy they were they could probably get at least a week's worth of food, it would help put them a good distance further from Corona  _ and  _ Koto. He exchanged a glance with Nuru, knowing she was calculating the same. He never got the chance to ask, Varian speaking before either of them could. “We don’t need anything. We just wanted to make sure Yong was brought safely home, but we should probably get going now that he’s in good hands.” 

Hugo’s frown deepened. Despite his cheery tone, too cheery he might add, Varian’s words were also very rushed, and he was not the kind of person to rush a goodbye,  _ especially  _ when he seemed to be so attached to Yong. 

“You can’t go! I’m- mom will probably want to meet you.” Yong said, his eyes wide and pleading. It was a shit excuse to delay their inevitable separation, but Hugo felt inclined to indulge him. As much as he was ready to set sail again, there really was no rush. 

“We really should be going.” Varian said, glancing up at the sun. That was odd, he  _ was _ rushing them, but why? Had the Coronan soldiers spooked Varian that badly? 

“Yong’s right. She’ll most likely want to get you fed too.” Shang said with a shrug, a hand resting on Yong’s shoulder. 

“Food? I’m so in!” Nuru cheered, shoving the bag into Hugo’s arms. He simply rolled his eyes, of course Nuru would be swayed by food, she may be small but she ate more than most of the men on the crew, and where it all went he had no clue. 

“But-“ Varian started, desperately searching for an argument, a reason, they should leave right away. 

“What’s the rush, Goggles? We’ve got all the time in the world.” Hugo said, keeping his tone light and teasing, even though the question was genuine. Their eyes met for a second, before Varian quickly glanced away, and Hugo knew he wasn’t going to be getting an answer. 

“Yeah! You guys can even spend the night! Get a fresh start tomorrow.” Yong said, already pulling Varian towards the city, Nuru following behind, and Hugo taking up the rear. This time as they approached the gate they were allowed through, only being acknowledged by a simple nod. Hugo was so caught up in watching the guard that he almost ran straight into Nuru, the group stopping as soon as they entered the city.

_ “Holy fuck.”  _ Hugo said under his breath as he looked around the city. It was completely opposite from the wasteland they’d come from. The streets were bustling, people moving all about, hopping to and from the various stalls that lined the street. Grass poked up from between the cobblestones, trees and green hills in the distance. It wasn’t by any means  _ different  _ from other places he’d been, but the mere transition from the torn down docks to  _ this  _ was enough to make anyone do a double take. It was amazing what one could hide behind a wall. 

“We live on the end of the street, just bordering the forest. You can’t miss it. I wish I could show you the way, but duty calls!” Shang said, ruffling Yong’s hair before running to return to work. 

“See,  _ this  _ is Pyre!” Yong said excitedly gesturing around them. 

“It’s amazing.” Varian said, eyes darting all around as he wrung his hands together, rocking slightly forward on his feet. He was obviously on edge about something, but Yong was ever oblivious, yanking him from stall to stall as they made their way down the street. 

“So, what’s the plan from here?” Nuru asked, walking alongside Hugo.

“Same as before.” Hugo said, eyeing the various trinkets the stalls sported. Some had spices, fruits, chemicals, knick knacks, jewelry, anything and everything was there. He ran his hand through the various necklaces that hung from the racks. “We’re going to get some supplies from Yong’s family, then we set sail. If Varian wants we’ll go find his mom, if not-“ Hugo froze, he hadn’t really thought about what would happen if Varian  _ didn’t  _ want to find his mom. 

“Hugo, I don’t think it’s going to be that simple anymore.” Nuru said, placing a hand on his shoulder, a sad look on her face. 

“What do you mean?” He asked, his eyes lingering on the necklace he had stopped on, the gold cool under his fingers, only half paying attention to Nuru. The chain was long and thin, sporting a simple round emerald pendant. He smiled, imagining how lovely it would look around Varian’s neck, the gold glinting in the sun, the emerald sitting in the middle of his chest,  _ his color  _ on Varian because Varian was  _ his  _ and  _ only his.  _ He was so tempted to slip the necklace off the stand when the merchant wasn’t looking, but Varian deserved something better than stolen goods. He deserved something completely unique to him. 

“I think Varian’s hiding something. I went to the ship last night-“ Nuru started, a sense of urgency to her voice, but Hugo paid it no mind. If they were being followed they would’ve been ambushed on the road, not in the middle of the city. 

“I figured.” Hugo deadpanned, gesturing to the bag around his shoulder, opting to ignore the part about Varian. It was a strange concept, but he had to trust Varian would tell him on his own time. He said he would, so Hugo just had to believe him. Varian was being patient with him, it was only fair he extended him the same courtesy. 

“This is serious. I overheard something on the ship and I think Varian might be planning to sell us out.” Nuru whispered, a soft almost pitying look on her face. It pissed Hugo off, but not as much as the accusation. 

_ “Excuse me?  _ Haven’t you been on his side this whole time? Wasn’t it  _ you _ who wanted us to spare him? To do the right thing and  _ not  _ hand him over to Trevor? And now you’re suddenly  _ against  _ him?” Hugo shot back, keeping his voice low so Yong and Varian didn’t overhear them. They were a good distance away and the noise of the market would likely cover their voices, but he wasn’t taking any chances. 

“Look, it’s not like that it’s- I  _ know  _ what I heard.” Nuru said, her tone more pleading now. 

“Then what is it  _ like?”  _ Hugo asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he fixed her with a glare. She seemed to be at a loss for words, her jaw working as she tried to come up with a response. “Oh, I see, you’re  _ jealous,  _ aren’t you?” 

“Am I-  _ are you fucking kidding me?  _ I am  _ not  _ jealous! And if you’d think with your head for once and not your  _ dick  _ you’d see that he’s fucking  _ lying  _ to you!” Nuru hissed, jabbing Hugo’s chest with her finger, no longer bothering to keep her volume in check. 

“That’s fucking  _ rich!  _ You always tell me that  _ I _ need to be more trusting, that  _ I  _ need to be more open, and now that I am  _ you  _ can’t fucking handle it! You know what?  _ Fuck you, Nuru!”  _ Hugo sneered, smacking her hand away. 

“Fuck me?  _ Fuck you!  _ I’m trying to  _ warn  _ you and you're just pushing me to the side  _ like always!  _ But, whatever!  _ Fine!  _ Just know that when he breaks your  _ fucking heart _ I won’t be there to pick up the pieces.” Nuru said, turning on her heel and storming off in the opposite direction. 

Hugo was at a loss for words, his head swimming with thoughts, anger still very much present. Nuru had always been on his side, no matter how shitty he’d been or his plans were, and now just like that she was gone. A small part of him knew,  _ hoped,  _ she’d come back, but what was the point if she couldn’t be happy for him? He just couldn’t believe that his best friend,  _ his sister,  _ couldn’t just be fucking happy for him. But if she wanted to be selfish that was fine, he didn’t  _ need  _ her, he didn’t need  _ anyone.  _ He glanced over to where Yong and Varian were, looking at the items of a different stand, oblivious to the argument that had just taken place. Varian caught his eye for a second, a small smile immediately gracing his lips as he waved at Hugo, before Yong demanded his attention once more. Hugo could feel his own smile forming, despite the ache in his heart that Nuru had left, perhaps he did need  _ someone.  _ It just wasn’t Nuru. 

Hugo turned his attention back to the stand, the necklace glinting in the sunlight. “How much for something like this?” He asked the vendor. 

“Oh, I don’t think  _ you  _ can afford something like that.” The vendor answered, eyeing Hugo with disgust. 

“I think I can.” Hugo narrowed his eyes at the vendor, his patience already thin. He fished into his pocket, pulling out Varian’s bracelet. The vendor’s eyes widened in shock as he took it in his hands. “I need you to make this into something like that. You can keep whatever gold you don’t use. Can you do that?” 

“Yes, sir. Of course.” The vendor responded, weighing the bracelet in his hand, his tone drastically different now that he knew Hugo could pay. It was  _ disgusting.  _ “Is there anything else I can do for you?” 

Hugo was about to shake his head when something else caught his eye. It was perfect, and absolutely  _ Varian _ . He quickly pointed to the item. “I need you to add that.” 

“But that’s a-“ 

“I know what it is.” Hugo cut him off with a glare. “When will it be ready?” 

“I can have it ready in a few hours.” The vendor answered, taking the item off the stand. 

“Good. I’ll be back in a few hours then.” Hugo said with a small nod. He hated having to trust the vendor with his things, but he had no other choice. If he wanted to have something to give Varian that he truly deserved he’d have to put a little faith in the vendor. He quickly rejoined Yong and Varian, easily slipping his hand into Varian’s. Varian smiled up at him, the ends seeming somewhat forced, but Hugo pushed the thought away, chalking it up to a long and stressful day. Besides soon enough he’d have a genuine smile on his face if Hugo’s surprise went as planned, and he couldn’t wait for that. To see Varian’s eyes light up, his face flushed slightly at the thought of Hugo caring so much, the softness of the kiss he’d surely receive in thanks. It would all be worth it, he just needed to wait a few hours. 

“Is she okay?” Varian asked, his eyes darting to where Nuru had disappeared. 

“She’ll be fine. She just needs some space.” Hugo said, Varian’s eyebrows still furrowed in concern. Hugo gently lifted his chin, Varian’s expression softening slightly at the touch. “Everything is going to be okay. You have nothing to worry about.” Hugo leaned down, capturing Varian’s lips in a kiss, his lips soft and warm, but Varian did not return the kiss. He didn’t push Hugo away, he didn’t do  _ anything.  _ It was disturbing, almost like he was holding back for some strange reason, Varian stiff under his touch, Nuru’s words coming to the forefront of his mind. Hugo pulled away, concern in his eyes as he looked into Varian’s blue ones. Maybe it was a trick of the light, but he swore they looked almost watery. 

“Guys! There it is!” Yong said, calling the two older over. Varian quickly joined Yong before Hugo could stop him and ask him what was wrong, his hand slipping through his fingers. Reluctantly, Hugo followed, his eyes following the dirt path that stretched out before them, trees lining the way to a small house on the hill. It wasn’t a steep hill, just elevated enough to set the house slightly higher than the rest of the town. There was nothing outstanding about the house either, just a normal sized house needing some patchwork here and there, but Yong’s face lit up like he’d just spotted the most majestic castle. 

“You’re finally home, kid.” Varian said, ruffling Yong’s hair, a more genuine smile on his face, but this time there was no mistaking the shine of tears in his eyes. 

“Yeah.” Yong said, his smile dropping as he nervously wrung his hands together. “Come with me? Please?” 

Varian nodded, taking Yong’s hand in his, offering him a soft reassuring smile. Yong still looked nervous, not moving from his spot, his hand squeezing Varian’s to hell as he bit at his bottom lip. Hugo gently nudged Yong, offering the boy his own hand as well. Hugo looked straight ahead as he spoke, not really wanting to see if Yong would take his hand or not. “Well, are we going or not?” 

Yong nodded, taking Hugo’s hand, the taller shocked by the action. “Yeah! Let’s go!” Yong said, this time moving forward confidently, Hugo’s face flushing slightly at the fact that the boy chose to trust him. He was so shocked he almost missed the soft, grateful look Varian shot his way, mouthing a quick ‘thank you’, which in turn caused Hugo’s cheeks to heat up further. Before he knew it, they were at the front steps, Yong dropping Varian’s hand so he could knock on the door. Hugo glanced at their hands, a small swell of pride rising in his chest over the fact that Yong chose to keep holding  _ his  _ hand instead of Varian’s. It was an odd feeling as he was never one to pay children much mind, but perhaps their small bonding moment held more weight than he thought. And then the door opened. 

“Hello?” A woman answered the door, short and plump in stature, her hair done up in a messy bun, a few streaks of grey amongst the black, her dark eyes kind despite the circles underneath them. She froze when she spotted Yong, tears welling in her eyes, a hand covering her mouth in a vain attempt to hold back a sob. 

“Hi, mama.” Yong said, his own voice soft and shaky. No other words were exchanged in the moment, Yong flinging himself into his mother's arms as the two sobbed in the doorway. It was a touching moment, and Hugo felt like he was intruding on it, like he shouldn’t really be there. He fully intended to leave, to give Yong and his mom some privacy, but Yong tugged his hand, effectively pulling him into the hug, joining them on the ground. Part of him still felt like he didn’t belong, but Varian was also pulled into the hug, easily nestling into it, his eyes screwed shut as tears leaked from the corners, so Hugo allowed himself the moment of vulnerability, returning the hug as best he could. Although it couldn’t stop the guilt that rose in his chest as he thought about how he stole this moment from Nuru, she would be here too if he hadn’t pushed her too far. He’d have a hell of a lot of apologizing to do, but so would she because she was wrong about Varian, and he was willing to bet his life on it. 

*******************

He felt like shit, all around  _ shit.  _ His head still hurt, his arm and wrist fairing no better, at least his wrist wasn’t broken, only his ankle was showing improvement, now that it had the medicated cream on it. Not to mention he was an emotional mess. He was trying to put on a happy face, trying to support Yong, trying not to be too obvious about his intentions around Hugo. He knew he should’ve just ended things at the docks, but the selfish part of him wanted to make sure Yong was returned home safely, and now that he was,  _ what were they still doing here?  _ He didn’t really want to say goodbye, he was quite fond of Yong, but he didn’t have a choice, he needed to get back by sundown, and he really didn’t want to risk staying any longer than necessary. He glanced out the window at the sun, it was sitting just past the midpoint in the sky, starting its slow descent. He needed to leave  _ now  _ if he stood a chance at getting back in time, he needed to say his goodbyes, end things. His time was up in this little fantasy world he’d created for himself. 

He dropped his eyes back down to the food on his plate, the food he’d barely touched, opting instead to push it around. Nuru had rejoined the group, her eyes constantly following his every move, it was unnerving. He wasn’t sure what her and Hugo talked about, but with the way she was staring him down it was fairly obvious it was about him. She hadn’t confronted him yet, although he wasn’t sure she could between Yong talking his family’s ears off and the noise of his younger siblings. It turned out Yong had a fairly large family, consisting of two older brothers, three younger brothers, and a baby sister. Varian had never been around so much noise in his life, even when he was a child it was ingrained into him that he needed to be on his best behavior at all times. It would’ve been nice under different circumstances, now he just felt sick, overwhelmed, even Hugo’s hand resting on his thigh, a gesture meant to be comforting, sent his stomach turning. 

“You need to eat something.” Hugo whispered, keeping his voice low enough so he didn’t disturb the conversation around them. 

“I’m not hungry.” Varian said, continuing to push the food around, eventually setting down his fork completely, just looking at the plate was making him sick. 

“Varian-“ He could practically hear the plea on the tip of Hugo’s tongue, but he didn’t let him finish. He needed to get this over with, it was time to bite the bullet. 

“We need to talk.” Varian said, not able to bring himself to look Hugo in the eye. His hands were shaking in anticipation of what he was about to do, his chest aching with every breath. 

“Okay, we will. As soon as I get back, I’ve just got to do something real quick.” Hugo said, placing a hasty kiss to Varian’s cheek before heading out the door, leaving no room for argument and a stunned Varian in his wake. He blinked, his hand hovering over his cheek where Hugo’s lips had been, the skin tingling beneath. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, a sense of relief washing over him before it was crushed by the guilt. It was a strange position to be in, the longer the conversation got put off the more relieved he felt, but there was also a crushing guilt that weighed down on him. He felt like he was teasing Hugo, stringing him along with false promises and giving him hope, but their relationship had always been doomed from the start, and Varian had been a fool to think otherwise. Even his past relationships, if they could be called that, had been dictated by Coronan royalty, he was a pawn and he knew it, so why did he have hope that he’d be let go so easily? 

“Help me clean the plates, dear?” Varian jumped at the sound of Yong’s mom’s, Mei’s, voice, turning in his chair to face her, the table now empty besides the two of them and the dirty plates. When bad everyone else left? Had he been that absorbed in his thoughts? “Varian?” 

Varian jumped again, quickly gathering the plates. “Sorry, I’m- sorry.” He mumbled under his breath, placing the dirty plates in the sink. He really needed to pull himself together, he was being suspicious as fuck if even Yong’s mom noticed something was up, and given how her eyebrows furrowed she definitely did. 

“I know I’ve already thanked you a million times for bringing my baby home, but if you need anything, anything at all, please let me know.” Mei said, clearing the plates of any leftover food, pausing for a second as she contemplated something. “Even if it’s just to talk. I may not be very helpful, but I can at least listen.” 

Varian smiled, scrubbing at his eyes as he tried to prevent the tears that had welled up from falling, it was like a floodgate had been opened. As pathetic as it was he felt the urge to spill his heart out to this woman, at the very least to get it off his chest, maybe then he could think about this properly. Instead he shook his head, he didn’t want to be a burden, he’d spent most of his life being a burden. “I’m okay, thank you.”

Mei nodded, and for a moment Varian thought she was going to drop it as she returned to cleaning the plates. “I don’t know how long the lot of you knew my boy, but this can’t be easy, to let him go that is. Not that you can’t come visit! The door is always open for you! Oh dear, I’m rambling now.” She took a deep breath, wiping her hands on a nearby towel before placing them firmly on Varian’s shoulders. “The point is, I understand that you must be upset, and that’s okay! Saying goodbye is always hard, but it’s not goodbye forever! Like I said you’re always welcome here should fate steer you towards us again.” 

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” Varian said, despite the lump forming in his throat. He knew his chances of seeing any of them again were very slim. If he was lucky he would be married to some noble from Koto, Rapunzel did have to repair the relationship after all this, and he could visit Yong from time to time. He highly doubted he’d see Nuru or Hugo again, he doubted they’d  _ want  _ to see him again. Just the thought hurt, he knew what life was like without Hugo in it, and he didn’t want to go back to it, but what choice did he have? He could live miserably if it meant Hugo got to live  _ at all.  _ It would suck, but he could do it if knowing Hugo was out there on the seas somewhere doing what he loved. He would find someone else to  _ love.  _ The thought hurt more than it should have, and yet it was almost ironic,  _ he _ was letting Hugo go,  _ he  _ was the one breaking Hugo’s heart, but it felt like  _ his  _ was the one being torn to pieces. Varian pressed the back of his hand to his mouth, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from falling, his voice barely audible when he spoke. “I need some air.” 

He was out the door before Mei could protest, before she could do anything but watch. Varian didn’t pay attention to where he was going, his breath coming out far too rapidly, his chest aching with each breath, still he refused to let the tears fall. He just needed space to work out a plan, he needed more  _ time.  _ It was too big a decision to make in a day, granted he’d wasted most of that time by trying to drink away his sorrows and now he was in an even bigger mess. Nuru was definitely suspicious, he was fairly certain Hugo was to a degree as well, and Yong, well at least Yong seemed to be okay. He was home and safe and that’s all that mattered. 

Varian quickly crossed the field behind the house to the small barn, throwing open the door and closing it just as quickly once he was inside, resting his forehead against the rough wooden door. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent around him, a scent he grew up with. It was strangely calming, the smell of the slightly moist wood, the faint smell of hay, the dirt beneath his boots, even the smallest hint of salt in the air from the sea. It was all terribly familiar and comforting. It reminded him of  _ home,  _ and suddenly he felt sick again. He hated this, he hated it all. Why couldn’t he have been left alone that day? All of this never would’ve happened, and he’d remain oblivious to the wonders of the outside world, the freedom,  _ Hugo.  _ He should’ve never gotten involved with him romantically. He should’ve demanded he be taken back to Corona after Equis. Hell, he should’ve waited in Equis until someone was sent for him. He should’ve known they were looking for him. He shouldn’t have been so  _ stupid.  _

Varian pushed himself away from the door, pacing the length of the barn as he thought about his options. He knew he had to leave, there was no other way, he couldn’t put the others at risk, the problem was and always had been Hugo. If he left and didn’t say anything the stubborn bastard would probably come looking for him. He really, really, didn’t want to end on bad terms, he didn’t want to hurt Hugo that way, but if kept him safe it would be worth it, right? There was no other way, was there? If only there was some way for him to explain, after he was gone just to let Hugo and the others that he  _ did  _ care, that he didn’t have a  _ choice.  _

Varian let out a frustrated scream, kicking at a stray pile of hay. It didn’t go in his favor, the boy throwing off his balance and landing with a small thump in the much larger pile of hay. He stuffed his hands into his pockets cursing his luck, of course even this small thing couldn’t work in his favor. At least the hay was soft, as were the frayed ends of the paper in his pocket. Wait.  _ Paper.  _ Once again he was so  _ fucking stupid.  _ He pulled out the note Nuru had tried to recreate from his mom, it was so fucking obvious, he could leave a note. A note for each, all he had to do was pen them and then leave. It would still hurt, but at least he could explain himself and ensure they knew absolutely under no circumstances were they to come for him, he was returning of his own free will, it’s what he  _ wanted.  _

He pushed himself to his feet, feeling a bit better about the situation. He glanced out the window, the sun almost touching the horizon. He was almost out of time, he wouldn’t make it all the way back to the docks in time but hopefully Caine was feeling generous today. He would only have time for one note. He quickly flipped the piece of paper over placing it on a nearby workbench that held all the tools necessary for maintenance on the barn, and if he was lucky a pencil or charcoal he could use to write. He fumbled around the bench, opening various drawers with no luck, until finally his fingers curled around the cool stick of charcoal. 

He smiled at the small victory, briefly catching his reflection in the mirror hanging above the work space. He grimaced at his reflection, he looked like a fucking mess. His skin was paler than usual, dark circles underneath his eyes, his clothes rumpled, hay stuck out in all directions from his hair, the frayed blue strands sticking up haphazardly. Varian froze, his fingers barely brushing the ruined blue streak in his hair. Had he done that?  _ Why  _ would he do that? He knew that Caine at least knew he was here. He had no reason to try and hide now, so if it wasn’t him then- Hugo appeared in the reflection of the mirror, the door ajar as he lingered in the doorway, eyes darting from Varian’s hair to his face and back again. Varian felt his heart rate picking up again. Hugo wouldn’t do this,  _ why  _ would he do this? Just because Hugo was looking at him with those wide guilt filled eyes didn’t mean that he did this. 

“I can explain.”  _ Shit.  _ Varian dropped his hand to his side, slowly turning to face Hugo, the older having a cautious look on his face as if he were expecting Varian to snap at any moment. And honestly he felt like he might. It was a stupid little thing to be upset over, especially if Hugo had a good reason, but it was another  _ choice _ that had been taken from him, another fucked up  _ thing  _ that had been added to the pile of  _ shit  _ he was already dealing with, and he just didn’t  _ fucking need it.  _

“Why?” Varian asked, the charcoal cracking as his hand clenched around it. He was more hurt than angry, he wanted to know the answer, he wanted to know  _ why _ .  _ Why _ couldn’t he ask him first?  _ Why  _ couldn’t they make this decision together?  _ Why  _ did Hugo think he could make the decision for  _ him?  _

“I had to.” Hugo said softly, taking the smallest step forward, testing the waters. Varian shook his head, not satisfied with the answer. Hugo didn’t understand what  _ had  _ to be done. 

“Bullshit.  _ Bull fucking shit!”  _ Varian snapped, taking a step back in surprise at his own outburst. He took a shaky breath, trying to steady the wave of emotions inside him, it didn’t help. He could feel the tears starting to well in his eyes again. “You couldn’t have waited? We could’ve talked about it. It  _ had  _ to be done, right that second?” 

“You’re right, you’re absolutely right, okay? I should’ve waited. I should’ve talked to you, but I panicked.  _ They  _ are looking for you. I didn’t know what else to do. Varian, the things they accused you of- I just can’t lose you.” Hugo said, still standing in the doorway, almost like he was waiting for Varian’s permission to close the distance. 

Varian felt sick again, his heart hammering in his chest. “What did they say?” Varian asked, his palms sweating as he waited for Hugo’s answer. 

“It doesn’t matter. I  _ trust  _ you, to tell me when you’re ready, to tell me the truth. We have all the time in the world, and I’ll wait as long as it takes.” Hugo responded, a soft understanding smile on his face. Varian let out a choked laugh, the tears spilling over. Time, he didn’t have  _ time.  _ He wished he did, he wished he could melt into Hugo’s embrace, letting himself be lost to his sweet words. How could his heart feel so full and broken at the same time? Hugo seemed to take his reaction as an invitation to move closer, quickly closing the distance between them, gently wiping the tears from Varian’s cheeks. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re going to figure this out. Everything is going to be okay.” 

Varian stiffened, removing Hugo’s hands from his face, holding them in his own. “Hugh, I-“ Varian hesitated, the hopeful, caring look in Hugo’s eyes not making this easier. He wished he’d moved faster on the note, it would’ve been so much easier than this. His eyes darted to the ground, he didn’t want to see the hurt in Hugo’s eyes as he broke his heart, he didn’t need that painful memory. 

“Take your time. You don’t have to tell me anything right now, but there is something I want to tell you.” Hugo said, interlocking their fingers. Varian looked up at him in confusion, his stomach twisting in anticipation. “I, uh, you’ve given up so much for me, and just adjusted so well to life out here, on the sea. And I know we started on a rough terms, and I know you miss home. So, I wanted to show you that I’m trying to change, to be better for you, and I wanted to give you a little piece of home.” 

Varian watched as Hugo pulled something from his pocket, gently laying the item in Varian’s hand. The metal was cool under his fingertips, the gold of the delicate chain glittering in the fading sunlight, a pendant that seemed to be a pocket watch but quite a bit smaller hung from the chain, the intricate gold swirls all around the outside save for the familiar blue stone that sat in the center. Hugo gently guided his fingers to the top of the pendant, pressing down on the small knob there, the pendant opening to reveal not a watch, but a compass. Varian stared at it in awe, running his fingers over the metal, it was absolutely  _ perfect.  _ It was the perfect mix between his past and who he was now. 

“I know it’s probably something that I should’ve asked to do, but-“ Hugo started. 

“It’s beautiful.” Varian interrupted, Hugo’s cheeks painted a light pink at the compliment. And that made Varian’s heart flutter, well the whole gesture made his heart flutter, but something about Hugo  _ blushing  _ because of  _ him  _ sent his heart soaring. It was a type of vulnerability he’d never shown before, and before Varian could say more Hugo slipped the necklace over his head, the compass sitting just past the middle of his chest. 

“That’s not all I wanted to say.” Hugo said, gently lifting Varian’s chin so he was looking at him instead of the necklace. His green eyes shone with such hope for the future, such  _ love  _ and admiration. It hurt. “I want to court you. I know it’s not official or anything, but, if you want, if you’ll have me, I want to be your boyfriend.” 

Varian smiled, his face lighting up at the prospect. Of course it would never be an official courtship, but just the thought of Hugo wanting that with  _ him  _ it was touching. He almost said yes, almost threw out all ideas of returning home to stay in Hugo’s arms, and run as far and as long as they had to in order to be together. The words were on the tip of his tongue, and then he saw it. Out of the corner of his eye, a flash of red hair just before the tree line on the outside of the barn. His smile dropped, his heart sinking with it, if he wanted to keep Hugo safe he couldn’t have him. “I can’t.” Varian forced out, stepping away from the taller. 

A brief moment of hurt passed across Hugo’s features before it was replaced by confusion, then back to hurt. “What do you mean? You can’t, or you  _ won’t?”  _

The words hurt,  _ all  _ of this hurt, but he needed to push Hugo away, no matter how badly he didn’t want to. He could feel the tears falling again as he spoke. “I don’t want  _ you.  _ I don’t want a relationship with you. You’re controlling, and you never ask my opinion, and you just  _ do  _ things without  _ thinking about the consequences.  _ I can’t  _ be  _ with someone like that. I’m sorry.” 

Varian pushed past Hugo and out of the barn, not bothering to hide his tears, to hide his pain. He didn’t look back, didn’t want to see the hurt and betrayal on his face, but he didn’t seem to have a choice, Hugo grabbing his wrist to stop him. “I don’t understand. Where is this coming from? Is this about the hair? About what I said before we split up to look for Yong?” 

“No.” Varian said, steeling his nerves as he turned to face Hugo. He needed to get the point across, he needed to make sure he wasn’t going to come after him, he needed to break his heart. And he hated the words that came out of his mouth. “It’s about how  _ you  _ don’t give a shit about anyone around you. You use people and disregard them when you're done. You didn’t  _ care  _ about Yong, you didn’t  _ care  _ about  _ me!  _ You took me from  _ my  _ home. You never gave me the choice to return home, not even after Equis. You  _ forced  _ me on this fucked up adventure.  _ This  _ isn’t healthy, it’s not a real relationship, it’s some kind of fucked up form of comfort that we found in each other. I  _ used  _ you to get through all of this, and you used me. It was never real, none of it. You never  _ really  _ cared about me and I never cared about you. We were  _ never  _ meant to be together and I’m  _ done.”  _

Hugo dropped Varian’s hand, tears glistening in those green eyes he loved so much. Hugo looked like he’d been slapped, like his heart had been torn out and ripped to shreds, and wasn’t that the point? But Hugo wasn’t done fighting. “How can you say that?  _ Everything  _ I’ve done was to protect  _ you!  _ I’ve changed for  _ you!  _ I care about  _ you!  _ Varian, I-“ 

Varian stopped him there, he didn’t want Hugo to finish that sentence, not now, not like this. “Everything you did was for you!  _ You selfish fucking asshole!  _ I could  _ never  _ love someone like  _ you.”  _

That seemed to do the trick, a single tear rolling down Hugo’s cheek as he stared at Varian completely and utterly heartbroken. He fought the urge to run into Hugo’s arms, kiss the pain away, apologize for the harsh words he didn’t mean, he didn’t want to say, but he couldn’t. Instead he turned and ran for the tree line where he saw Caine. The image of Hugo dropping to his knees in defeat, tears flowing down his cheeks, his fists clenched in the grass, burned into Varian’s mind. 

  
  



	28. Ship In A Bottle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone back with another tasty update!!!! Sorry this bad boy got waaaaayy out of hand and is sitting pretty at a 16k update!!!! This is a chapter I’ve had in my head since the very beginning and I’m so excited to finally share with y’all!!!! And I just wanna give a quick shoutout to my dearest friend ace, ace of lanterns, acey bacey wacey, another one of my lovely discord daughters whom this whopper of a chapter is dedicated to!!! She asked for a line for this fic almost thirty chapters ago and were finally here!!! I hope everyone enjoys!!!! WARNINGS: for blood, character death, injuries, limb chopping, and light/implied sexual content at the very end!!!!

In her life she’d seen many broken men, hell she’d been the cause of half of them, and normally she wouldn’t give two shits about the men she left in her wake, but something about _this_ made her heart wrench. Maybe it was the familiarity of it all, how on par with her own situation it had been. It was like life gave her a chance to see the path she didn’t pick play out in front of her, and holy hell did it hurt. She knew it was the right path, the one she should’ve taken, the pain now would spare them later. She could still see the cruel smile on Cassandra’s face as she put a bullet into each of her crew's heads. The princess, _queen,_ nodding in satisfaction as the bodies dropped to the ground, the look of betrayal, the last fleeting emotion on their faces. She should’ve known then Cassandra would never love her, she’d never love anyone more than death. 

“You made the right choice.” Caine said, plucking the last of the hay from Varian’s hair as they waited on the dock of the ship for Cassandra. He’d long since stopped crying, his eyes red and puffy, small hiccups escaping every so often from his mouth. He looked like a fucking mess, the few soldiers that were left on the ship snickering behind their gloved hands. Caine rolled her eyes, she hated nobles with a burning passion. At least pirates had the respect to talk shit to your face, with nobles it was all fake smiles in your face and real talk behind closed doors. It was disgusting. Caine lifted Varian’s head, his glassy blue eyes staring back at her, shiny with unshed tears, his fingers twirling the gold of his necklace between his fingers. “Chin up. Don’t let them see how broken you are, don’t give them any power.” 

Varian didn’t say anything, he hadn’t the whole way back, not a single word. He really must’ve cared for the pirate, but it was simply inevitable, they weren’t meant to be together, one way or another they’d be torn apart. “You made the right choice.” Caine repeated, and this time it felt like it was more for her reassurance than his. 

“Did I?” Came Varian’s soft reply. Caine took a step back, her mind spinning because _she_ had made the _wrong_ choice and _logically_ that meant Varian had to have made the _right_ choice. But she wasn’t so sure anymore, not after seeing how torn apart _he_ was, how torn apart the _pirate_ was, her mind filling with doubt, doubt, _doubt._ And suddenly she didn’t see Varian in front of her, but her younger self, lovestruck, blinded by sweet promises of the future, _naive._

“You did. You _did._ He would’ve left you! He would’ve gotten bored of you, tossed you aside like last night’s trash. He _never_ loved you. You were a fool to think otherwise! He could never love a monster like you.” Caine stiffened, feeling the telltale prick of tears at the corner of her eyes. She wouldn’t cry, she _wouldn’t,_ she hadn’t cried since her father died and she refused to cry because of a _childish mistake._ Because of her own _stupidity._

“I’m not the same as _you. He’s_ not the same as _Cass._ ” Varian said, a sudden anger flaring in his voice. It was admirable that he believed it so strongly, but he was _wrong,_ she was _right,_ she _had_ to be. 

_“Bullshit._ You can pretend it’s not the same, but I know his type, _I’ve_ fallen for people like _him._ You _cannot_ change him no matter how hard you try. So save yourself the pain, kid, and let him fucking _go.”_ Caine hissed, wrapping her hand around the golden necklace around Varian’s neck and giving it a rough tug. To her surprise it didn’t break, no matter how hard she pulled. _Why wouldn’t it fucking break?_

_“Don’t.”_ Varian sneered, pushing Caine away. The guards snickered as she stumbled back tripping over her, _her,_ feet. She caught herself before she could actually fall, but she prided herself on her balance and agility so to say it was a blow to her pride was a gross understatement. And still the stupid necklace stayed intact. 

“You _little bastard.”_ Caine’s lip curled in anger. Couldn’t he see she was just trying to help? Couldn’t he see she was trying to save him from the same pain she suffered? Apparently not since the _fucking_ son of a _bitch_ pushed her. 

“Nice to see you still have your spunk, kid.” The telltale sound of Cassandra’s boots echoing across the dead silent deck. Varian looked two shades paler as Cassandra wrapped her arm around his shoulder, idly twirling his necklace around her finger. “Cute.” 

“What are your orders, Captain?” One of the nearby soldiers asked, all of them standing at attention, everyone except Caine. 

“Pull up the anchors, we set sail as soon as possible. Send a letter to Rapunzel right away, and _please_ for all that is good, someone burn this shithole to the ground.” Cassandra said, Varian almost immediately pulling out of her grasp at the last order, turning to face Caine once again. 

“You said no one would be hurt if I came willingly!” Varian shouted, pointing an accusing finger in Caine’s direction. It took all the willpower she had not to snap the digit then and there. 

“I said your little friends wouldn’t get hurt.” Caine said, trying desperately to keep her anger in check. She wanted to say more, wanted to argue further, but she didn’t get the chance, the sound of a gun cocking gaining her attention. 

“Let me make something abundantly clear.” Cassandra said, a look of absolute terror on Varian’s face as she pressed the gun to his temple. “ _She_ isn’t in charge, _I_ am. I don’t give a shit about whatever lie she told you to get you here. If I _ever_ see your little pirate friends I won’t hesitate to put a bullet through their heads and then yours, _understand?”_

“You need me alive.” Varian said, and Caine had to give him props for even attempting to stand up to Cassandra. 

“Oh, honey, _no_ I _don’t._ You see, Rapunzel doesn’t care if I bring you back dead or alive. She just wants you back. So, I would watch that mouth of yours before I decide to kill you just for the hell of it. And won’t that paint a pretty little target on your plaything’s back?” Cassandra sneered, her finger lightly pressing on the trigger, moving the gun away from his head just a fraction as the shot rang out. Varian flinched away, Cassandra pulling him close, her still smoking gun pressing into his gut. She didn’t bother to lower her voice, Varian likely wouldn’t be able to hear her if she did, not with how close he had been to the shot. Caine knew from experience his ear was likely ringing like hell. “You’re just lucky she _prefers_ you alive.” 

Cassandra let him go, turning her attention to the soldiers that had gathered around. “Well, boys, what are you waiting for? Let’s get moving!” 

With only a moment’s more of pause the crew sprung into action, Cassandra moving to take her place behind the wheel. Caine could see her out of the corner of her eye, watching Varian, _his_ eyes gazing out to the docks, searching, calculating, for a way to escape. Because he knew, _she knew,_ he had made the wrong choice. 

“Don’t.” Caine said, her voice low as she wrapped a hand around Varian’s arm. He didn’t say anything, didn’t acknowledge her existence besides the clenching of his jaw, his eyes still locked on the horizon, wanting, longing. The very same look she had when she gave up life on the sea to be with Cassandra. And her heart ached. She released Varian’s arm, no longer being able to look at him a moment more, instead moving her eyes to Cassandra and the small triumphant smirk in her face. “She won’t miss next time.” 

He knew it was true, she knew it was true, and most of all Caine knew she had made a _mistake._

***********************************

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, he wasn’t sure it mattered anymore. Or perhaps it was the only thing that did, the thing that he somehow always took for granted. He always claimed to have enough time, there was no need to rush here or there, not when you had no one holding you down, nothing stopping you from doing whatever you pleased. Perhaps it was too much, too much freedom, too many choices when none of them really mattered. There had only been two choices in his life that he could say without a doubt that he did not regret making, saving Nuru and kidnapping Varian. Two vastly different things in comparison, but both Nuru and Varian had saved him in their own ways. They were the only things that mattered, they were the things that had changed his life, they were the _only_ choices he’d make over and over even if it meant giving up all other freedoms. But Varian, _Varian,_ had taught him that choices weren’t something to be taken lightly. And Varian was by far the best choice he _ever_ made, and just like time always seemed to do, he slipped through his fingers. 

Eventually the tears stopped, the pain in his chest didn’t, that was constant, a terribly harsh reminder as to why he didn’t _do_ relationships. He never opened himself up to someone like this, it was terrifying and exciting and he never wanted it to end, and yet it had. He’d fucked up, Varian was gone and he took his heart with him. 

Hugo slowly uncurled his fingers, the joints stiff from being curled around the grass for so long, they felt numb, _he_ felt numb. He was numb, but he felt everything, each touch, each kiss, every flutter of his heart, everything he ever experienced with Varian. He rocked forward, wrapping his arms around his middle, trying to get all these _goddamn fucking feelings_ to _stop._ Why did this hurt so much? He shouldn’t fucking care this much, but he did. He _hurt,_ Varian had _hurt_ him, and he still wanted him back. He wanted Varian back so fucking bad. He wiped uselessly at his eyes, his fogged glasses restricting his vision, not that it really mattered, he couldn’t see that well through the tears that had subsequently started again. He felt pathetic, weak, _broken_. Donella would be so disappointed, she’d probably shrug him off and tell him that’s what he got for not following orders. She was probably right. He didn’t know how much worse this day could possibly get. 

Lightning split the sky, the first small drops of rain hitting the ground. Of _fucking_ course it would start raining now of all times. Hugo didn’t bother to move as the steady drops started to fall, it wasn’t bad yet anyways, just a light drizzle. He could hear footsteps approaching, light and airy, the only thing giving Nuru’s usually silent steps away was the soft crunch of the dead grass beneath her boots. He curled further in on himself, she had been right, because of course she had. She had seen the signs that he refused to acknowledge, the problems he thought he could fix with a pretty piece of jewelry and a half assed apology. 

“You were right.” Hugo mumbled, not bothering to look up. He didn’t want to see her smug face, the smirk on her lips from being right, the twinkle of satisfaction in her eye. She stopped, her feet shifting in front of him. 

“I know.” She said, joining Hugo on the ground, pulling him into her arms. He felt so _goddamn stupid_ but he couldn’t stop himself from latching onto her. His shoulders shook as he cried into her shoulder, one of her hands rubbing soothing circles on his back, the other smoothing back his hair as she placed a soft kiss to his forehead. “I’m sorry.” 

For some reason those words hurt more. She was apologizing even though he had been an asshole, pushing her concerns away because he didn’t want to see it, he didn’t want it to be real. He wanted _her_ to be wrong. But she wasn’t Varian had left, he’d sold them out, he’d- wait, he didn’t did he? If he sold them out there would already be soldiers on their asses. He had said he was going home, he didn’t say how, he figured he was turning himself in to the soldiers. _Fuck,_ Varian was turning himself _in._ This whole fucking thing, he didn’t really know if Varian’s words were true or not, but Varian was gave _himself_ up for _them._ And Hugo couldn’t let him do that. _Especially_ not when that soldier had told him that Varian was wanted for attempted _murder_ of the _queen._ He’d be hung as soon as he stepped foot on Coronan soil. Even if Varian wanted no part in Hugo’s life anymore, he couldn’t let him die. 

“We need to go.” Hugo said, hating the way his voice sounded, broken, scratchy from crying. He pushed away from Nuru, his legs a bit shaky and unsteady underneath him. 

“I know you probably want to just leave this all behind, but we shouldn’t rush. We still need supplies and-“ Nuru rushed to catch up with him as she fumbled over her words, her mind likely turning from the sudden change. 

“No, no, that’s not- what exactly did you overhear on the ship?” Hugo asked, not slowing his pace in the slightest, the rain starting to come down in thicker sheets. He could feel the cold water soaking through his skin, it was almost grounding, he could think clearer. And the clearer he thought the faster his legs carried him. He really, _really,_ didn’t want to raid Corona again. 

“I-“ Nuru sighed, accepting that Hugo wasn’t going to be swayed. “There was a red headed woman talking to another woman with short wavy hair. The redhead said she found Varian and she gave him a choice, us or them. I thought that he- he was acting so strangely it made sense- Hugo, I’m sorry. I don’t think he meant the things he said.” 

Hugo froze, his shoulders stiff, his breath hitching in his throat, and suddenly he felt like he’d never left the ground, like the tears might start again. He didn’t want to think about the fact that apparently Nuru had heard the whole conversation. “Don’t say that. Don’t give me hope. We’re just going to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed, what he decides to do from there is up to him. I can’t- I need to respect his decisions whatever they are. I’ve been treating him like another piece of treasure, but he’s not. He has his own thoughts and feelings, and I love that about him. I want him to share with me, I want him to be open. I want to have stupid conversations, and intelligent ones. I want- I didn’t- I didn’t realize I was stifling that side of him. I’m sorry, Nuru, I’m sorry if I did the same to you.” 

“No, no, you didn’t. You _never_ made me feel that way. You may be a stubborn asshole, but I love you, you irritating piece of shit.” Nuru said, using the hem of her sleeve to wipe away the tears that had once fallen despite Hugo’s best efforts. Not that it did much good with the continued onslaught of the rain, but he appreciated the effort. He felt stupid for crying so much about all these stupid things, but Nuru’s gesture was oddly comforting. “Seriously though, you’ve done so much for me and I don’t think I tell you enough how grateful I am. Yeah, you can be selfish as hell, but when push comes to shove you always have everyone’s best interest at heart. And if Varian can’t see that then he doesn’t deserve you.” 

“Thank you.” Hugo said softly, taking Nuru’s hand in his. It was strange, he felt lighter somehow, he still hurt, but _less._

“Anytime. Now let’s go save a dumbass noble.” Nuru didn’t let go of Hugo’s hand as they resumed their run. It didn’t really take them long to get to the house, the two shivering now that they were safe from the rain for the time being. Hugo didn’t stop to think about it, moving to grab their singular bag of supplies. 

“Oh my. Let me get you some towels.” Mei said, already moving towards the linen closet. 

“That’s not necessary. We have to go, but thank you for the hospitality.” Hugo said, the words quickly rolling off his tongue, his hand already on the knob of the front door. 

“Where’s Varian?” Yong’s voice was soft, almost lost in the sound of the rain drumming against the house. Hugo hesitated, dropping his hand to his side. 

“Gone.” Hugo said, feeling everyone’s eyes boring into his back, waiting for more, waiting for something. He was the captain damnit and it was about fucking time he led. “I have reason to believe that he’s in trouble. He left of his own choice, to save us, and now we have to save him. I don’t know if he’ll rejoin us, but we have to do what’s right. It’s not going to be easy, we might not even survive, I just _have_ to do this. I can’t- neither of you have to go with me, but I’m going after him.” 

“Of course I’m coming! I pledged my loyalty to you a long time ago and I’m sure as hell not going back on my word now that you’ve decided to grow a conscience.” Nuru said, joining Hugo at the door, a bag that Mei gave her sometime during Hugo’s speech slung over her shoulder, placing her hand over his on the door knob. They exchanged a small smile, after their conversation outside Hugo knew Nuru wouldn’t let him leave alone, but he’d be lying if he said there wasn’t a small sliver of doubt. 

“I’m coming too!” Yong said, his chest puffed up in determination, a fire burning in his eyes. “Varian is my friend. He helped me when no one else did. He’s the reason I got to come home, if he’s in trouble I want to help.” 

“I appreciate it, but I don’t think you understand-” Hugo stopped when Yong stood from his seat, a look on his young face unlike anything he had seen. 

“Varian is my friend and he’s in trouble. That’s _all_ I need to understand.” Yong said, his tone leaving no room for argument. It was admirable, Hugo had to admit, but he knew first hand that life on the seas was no place for a child. Especially when he had a family here, a family that would take proper care of him, he would grow up happy and healthy and _loved._ Almost as if he was reading his mind, Yong crossed his arms over his chest and spoke again. “We’re a _family. All of us._ And I’m not going to let anything happen to _my_ family.” 

“How can I argue with that?” Hugo asked, silently hoping Yong’s mother would in fact argue with that. Unfortunately, it seemed Yong had the most supportive mother in existence as she knelt down and handed Yong two bags, one he assumed was for Yong, and one that would’ve been for Varian. 

“If this is what you really want to do, I’ll support you. You know where we are now, you know you can always return home.” Mei said, placing a soft kiss to Yong’s forehead, tears pricking the corners of her eyes as she let her baby boy go. 

“I love you, mama.” Yong said, wrapping her in a tight hug before joining the others. 

“I love you too.” Mei said, wiping uselessly at her eyes to stop the tears. She stood, facing the two pirates as Yong placed his hand on top of the other’s. “I trust you’ll bring him back to me again.” 

Hugo gave a small nod, and together they walked through the door as a _family._

**********************

Varian hit the deck _hard._ His lungs burned with each breath he took, he was so fucking exhausted but he couldn’t give up. Pyre was being burnt to the ground because of his _stupidity_ , because he believed Caine would uphold her end of the deal, because for some _idiotic reason_ he thought Cassandra would be merciful. If he knew they were going to have to fight regardless he would’ve _fought._ He wouldn’t have broken Hugo’s heart, they would’ve stayed united and _strong._ Now they were torn apart, by his own hand, and he was _alone._ Alone to clean up the mess he created, alone to fight for the town he led to their doom, alone with the crushing guilt of pushing Hugo away for no _fucking reason,_ alone and _broken._ Still he wouldn’t go down without a fight, not this time, not _ever._

Varian pushed himself to his feet, the smoke rising from the fires that burnt the docks behind them. They had left the docks no more than twenty minutes ago, the heat of the flames could still be felt from the safety of the ship. And for over twenty minutes Varian had been fighting to get off the boat. As soon as the first torch was lit he knew he had to do something, and despite the pain in his chest, the ringing in his ear from Cassandra’s warning shot, Caine’s warning to shut up and be obedient, he wasn’t going to sit back and do nothing. He was no longer going to be a pawn, a bystander in his own _fucking_ story. 

Luckily Cassandra’s threat seemed to be just that, a threat. She hadn’t reacted more than an amused snicker when he first tried to get off the boat, the soldiers quickly apprehending him, only for them to repeat the process. He didn’t know where Caine was in all this mess, but he had yet to be killed or restrained and he wasn’t particularly sure if that was a good thing or not. At the very least the guards were finding some entertainment in all of this, laughing each time Varian was knocked back onto his ass. But since the rain started and the deck became slick with water, the soldiers seemed less inclined to indulge in Varian’s escape attempts. Most had dispersed to do whatever duties they needed to to keep the ship afloat, leaving Varian alone with a singular guard who couldn’t be more than a few years older than himself. And damn was he eager to please. 

“I think it’s time to give it up, kid.” Cassandra called, her voice sounding distant, almost lost to the wind, that smug smirk of hers still apparent through the sheets of rain. 

“Yeah, time to give up.” The guard echoed, an even smugger grin on his face than Cassandra’s, his hands planted firmly on his hips, tufts of dirty blonde hair poking out from beneath his helmet, and his shit brown eyes twinkling with some sort of sick satisfaction. It was ironic really, how much the scenario reminded Varian of the raid on Corona, the rain, the fire, the smug blonde. The only difference was he knew Corona wasn’t where he belonged, he knew he’d never really be happy there, he knew _here,_ on the sea with his newfound family, _that_ is where he _belonged._

“Not a chance in fucking _hell.”_ Varian sneered, lunging forward, only for his feet to slip out from under him, not able to find purchase on the slick deck. His teeth rattled as he landed face first, new pain blossoming in his chest. The guards cruel laugh filling his ears. 

“Oh, that’s just pathetic! I didn’t even have to touch you that time!” He laughed, bending down so he could look Varian in the eyes, his tone mocking, high pitched and fake, his lips pursed into a pout. “You should really learn to stay down. If you’re lucky we just might take pity on you. You know, I kind of already do. You must’ve been pretty desperate to let that pirate scum fuck you.”

Varian’s blood boiled at the words. _How dare he!_ How dare he think so lowly of Hugo. But he supposed he wasn’t much better. Hugo probably thought he hated him, he wanted nothing to do with him, he was just pirate scum, and it couldn’t be further from the truth. Varian squeezed his eyes shut tightly, his fingers curling into fists as he moved to push himself upright. All his life he tried to be like the people around him, tried to fit in with the scheming nobles, the fake smiles, the lies and deception. And no matter how hard he tried he never felt like he belonged. But he’d been _wrong._ He lied, and schemed, and left Hugo along this whole time. He wasn’t any better than the rest of the people around him. He was just as _fucked up_ as Caine, or Cassandra, or _Rapunzel._ But that didn’t mean he couldn’t _be_ better. He could grow and learn from this, and all of his mistakes, he could _fight_ everything he was raised to be. And he’d spend every _damn minute_ of the rest of his fucking _life_ making it up to Nuru, to Yong, _to Hugo,_ if he was given the chance. 

“You _wish_ you were half the person he is. He’s smart, and cunning, and he’d never give up on anyone he cares about. He’s too damn stubborn too.” Varian chuckled dryly to himself, the raindrops rolling down his cheeks similarly to tears, a wave of nostalgia hitting him as he thought about his time with Hugo. His heart beating rapidly in his chest as he reached into his pocket as discreetly as possible, his fingertips brushing the cool glass vial within. He thanked whatever higher power there was that he still had some kind of chemical on him, he didn’t know exactly what it was, but whatever it was would have to do. 

“Then why hasn’t he come for you?” The guard said, leaning forward far too close for Varian’s liking, their noses almost touching. Varian hated every second of it, every word the other said, but it made what he had to do easier. 

_“Burn in hell.”_ Varian sneered, his upper lip curling in anger as he slammed the vial in between the guards eyes, the chemical a bright green, spreading rapidly, into his eyes, down his face, the rain water only spreading it further. The guard screamed, scrambling back as he scrubbed desperately at his eyes in a vain attempt at getting the substance off. Maybe it was a trick of the dull lighting, only odd parts of the man’s face lit up every so often in the darkness of the night with the help of the lightning strikes, but it almost looked like his face was melting, the skin seemingly dripping down his face with the bright green chemical. An almost sick sense of satisfaction washed over Varian, he had been the cause of that, _he_ had done _that._ The tips of Varian’s fingers burned, almost numbingly, the green mixed with red, small cuts littering his fingertips from the glass. He wanted to scream just as much as the writhing sack of shit in front of him, but he didn’t have that luxury, the other soldiers already making their way over due to the commotion. Varian leapt to his feet, the ship swaying dangerously as the waves got larger the further out they got from the port. He could barely see the small spec of a dock in the distance. He was running out of time, _he was running out of time._

Varian collided hard with the side of the ship as it tipped in the opposite direction, the boy almost going over the railing with the force of it. Varian’s stomach churned as he was faced with the dark waters, swirling, turning menacingly, white sea foam coating the top of each wave, each one larger than the last. He didn’t know if he had it in him, to face the beast of the sea, he didn’t know if he’d live, but he had to try to fix the mess he made. He couldn’t let Pyre burn on his account. With a shaky breath Varian planted his hands firmly on the edge of the ship, ready to launch himself over the side. He never got the chance, a hand roughly grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. Cassandra’s face full of fury, her wavy hair whipping around her in the wind, her dull green eyes filled with nothing but contempt. 

And he knew, _his time was up._

*************************

There was a time not so long ago when Hugo would’ve found the sight before him thrilling, beautiful even, but now he couldn’t help the odd sense of despair that washed over him. Perhaps it was the fact that he’d never been on the receiving end of an attack, or maybe it was the sense of urgency that the situation called for. He didn’t really know, but he hated the feeling. 

It had taken them longer than necessary to get to the docks, their small crew weighed down by two bags of supplies each courtesy of Yong’s mom. Although Hugo now carried four, courtesy of Yong. He didn’t argue, they didn’t have the time for that, Hugo simply took the bags from the younger boy in hopes it would get them moving faster. It didn’t, not really. But now he was the one frozen, frozen as people ran by screaming, gathering their loved ones and whatever items they could save from the flames that covered the town. The panic as thick in the air as the smoke that surrounded them. The heat from the flames suffocating. The screams, _the fucking screams,_ they wouldn’t stop, they filled Hugo’s ears and it was all he could fucking hear. And his gut twisted, is this what he had put people through? Is this what he had so willingly caused and even took _joy_ in causing? Had Varian really changed him that much, that this was no longer appealing? No, this, _this_ was fucking _terrifying._

He had something to fight for, and by extension he had something to lose. Before he could run head first into danger without a care in the world, but now he had people to look after. Nuru was here, she typically stayed on the ship during raids, Yong was here, he had promised to bring him home, and Varian, he was out there somewhere in this mess. Varian had to be okay, _he had to be,_ he couldn’t lose him. Hell, he’d find a way to deal with his broken heart, _he could do that,_ if it meant Varian was alive. He _needed_ Varian to be alive. If only he could get his feet to fucking move. 

“We need to move!” Nuru yelled over the commotion, her eyes slightly watery from the burn of the smoke. 

“Right.” Hugo said, his voice sounding distant to his own ears like it had come from someone else. Yong might’ve said something, he didn’t hear, the roar of the fire too loud in his ears, the screams of the citizens, the cruel laughs of the soldiers. He could taste the ash on his tongue. These were all people, _innocent people,_ with lives and families and homes that were being torn apart. For what? Nothing but shits and giggles by the look of it. These were real fucking _people,_ and for some reason he’d never thought of them as such before. Even his own crew had been thought of as tools at his disposal. Donella had taught him not to get attached, and constantly scolded him for doing so. So he didn’t. He never got attached to his crew, to the people he killed, to the people he hurt, until Nuru, until Yong, until _Varian._ And now that’s all he could see, any of these people could’ve been Varian. Any of these people could be as important to someone else as Varian still was to him. And his heart _fucking ached._

“Hugo! _Now!”_ Nuru shouted, snapping her fingers in front of Hugo’s face. She had a look of urgency on her face, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. 

“Right.” Hugo repeated, swallowing thickly. Nuru gave a small nod, seeming to accept that response before she jogged ahead, quickly lost amongst the smoke and chaos. Hugo grabbed Yong’s hand, holding on tightly as they followed Nuru. They couldn’t afford to lose Yong in this mess, _he_ couldn’t lose anyone else. 

They moved quickly, Hugo doing his best to block out the sounds around them, just focusing on keeping Nuru and Yong safe, focusing on finding Varian. His lungs burned from both the exertion and the smoke. The heat from the flames licked at his skin, still he pushed harder. They needed to get to their ship, they needed to find Varian, they needed to- 

_“Shit.”_ Hugo hissed under his breath, Yong slamming into his back as they halted suddenly. The Coronan soldiers preparing to light their ship on fire. A ship that was filled to the brim with _chemicals_ and he was fairly certain Yong’s explosives were still on there as well. 

“Wait-“ Nuru shouted, but it was too late the soldiers tossed their glowing torches onto the deck, the fire spreading quickly despite the rain. They wouldn’t have much time to run, Hugo pulling Nuru and Yong behind him, turning to wrap his arms around them in an attempt to shield them from the blast. The screams got louder as debris rained from the sky, chunks of wood nearly missing the small group that huddled on the dock. Hugo’s ears rang, coughing a bit to try and clear his lungs, it didn’t help. 

“Are you guys okay?!” Hugo yelled, perhaps louder than necessary if the way Yong flinched was anything to go by. They didn’t seem hurt, but their soot covered faces looked at him in horror. 

“Are _you_ okay?” Nuru asked, her eyes darting to his shoulder. He followed her gaze, Yong looking so terribly young all of a sudden, the horror clear on his face. 

“Oh.” Hugo said, his eyes landing on the piece of wood protruding from his shoulder. He was sure it looked worse than it actually was, he hadn’t even noticed it until it was pointed out, and now that he was really looking at it he figured it couldn’t be larger than an average letter opener. Hugo couldn’t help but laugh, of course out of all things it had to be the size of a fucking _letter opener._ Wasn’t that _fucking_ ironic? 

“This isn’t funny!” Yong said, his face scrunched up half in concern and half in anger. “You’re hurt!” 

“I’m fine.” Hugo said, pulling the piece of wood from his shoulder and tossing it to the ground. He was fairly certain it was the same shoulder Varian had stabbed, maybe that’s why he didn’t feel it, the tissue hadn’t had proper time to heal. “We need to find a new ship.” 

“Maybe I can help with that.” Hugo turned quickly, his hand already reaching for his sword as a red headed made her way over to them. Her loose white shirt clung to her skin, the rain having soaked it right through, her tight black pants leaving very little to the imagination, but the thing that grabbed Hugo’s attention was the sash around her, littered with various medals and awards, and the big bright fucking Corona sun at the top. Without a moment's hesitation Hugo drew his sword, pointing it at her to prevent her from coming any closer. She laughed, holding her hands up in surrender. “Now is this really necessary? I’m just here to help.” 

“It sure looks like that’s what you’re doing.” Hugo sneered, gesturing to the fires around them. “Looks like you’ve really helped so _many_ fucking _people.”_

“Oh don’t act all high and mighty, like you’ve never done worse. But,” She pushed Hugo sword down, the group taking a step back as she moved forwards. “That’s not why I’m here. I’m going to help you get your little boyfriend back.” 

The word stung. Varian wasn’t his boyfriend, he never would be at this point, he’d made that clear. It fucking hurt like hell, part of him wanted to turn around, steal a ship and leave Varian to whatever fate he chose, but he couldn’t. No matter how much it hurt, he still didn’t want anything bad to happen to Varian. “He’s not-“ 

“Do you honestly believe that? Did you _honestly_ believe a word he said? You’re really _fucking_ stupid. _I_ told him to break your heart. He wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t _make_ him. I told him if he came with us none of this _shit_ would _fucking happen.”_ She said, her confidence dying with the last of her words. Her smug exterior melted away, and Hugo found himself feeling sorry for her. Her words simultaneously hurt and gave him hope. He didn’t know what to believe, he didn’t know if he could trust her. 

“What do you want?” He asked, ignoring the way his voice shook, ignoring the way his hands shook. His heart beat rapidly in his chest, hope swelling within at the possibility of Varian not having meant what he said, he squished it. He couldn’t, he _wouldn’t,_ put himself through the heartbreak again if she was lying. He needed to focus, focus on now, focus on what _she_ wanted, because people like _her_ didn’t just offer help without parameters. 

“I want a crew.” The woman said, whatever break in her exterior she had gone, her walls put up once again. “I’m done with Corona’s bullshit. I want to sail the seas again, and I need a crew to do that.” 

“Why now?” Hugo tried his best to keep his expression neutral, his free hand tightly in Yong’s, he must’ve felt his shaking because Yong gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. He needed to know her motives, what was her breaking point? Would she betray them? Was it all just a ploy to capture them all? 

“Look, kid, I made a mistake. I thought I could prevent your boyfriend from making the same one, but _you_ being _here_ proves I was wrong. I just want a second chance. I want my _fucking life_ back.” She was pleading, her lips pursed, her eyebrows furrowed, her shoulders stiff. She expected to be denied, she knew she was playing with fire, she knew they didn’t really need her, but whatever she’d gotten Varian into she really, truly, regretted it. 

“I can’t promise you a crew,” Hugo started, lowering his sword. Donella would have his head if he actually promised her some of their crew. And he wasn’t going to make any more promises he couldn’t keep. “But, you can plead your case to them. If they choose to follow you they will be allowed to go _freely,_ but it _has_ to be _their choice.”_

“I can live with that.” The redhead said with a sigh, sticking her hand out for Hugo to shake. He took it, albeit reluctantly. Still not one hundred percent sure trusting her was the right move, but they were running out of time, and whether he liked it or not they needed all the help they could get. 

***********************

Hugo rubbed at his eyes, trying to clear his vision because he _clearly_ had smoke in his eyes or he was hallucinating or _something,_ because _this_ barely floating piece of shit couldn’t be the ship Caine had been talking about. “Are you serious?” 

“Dead.” Caine responded, already pulling the ropes loose so they could be on their way. 

“It makes sense. It’s smaller so it’ll ride the waves easier. And it’s lighter, it’ll be a hell of a lot faster than a big bulky ship.” Nuru said, running her hands along the weathered wood of the steering wheel with an odd sense of admiration. 

“You’re a smart one! I could use an expert like yourself on my crew.” Caine said, shooting Nuru a wink. Nuru’s face flushed immediately as she struggled to find words. Hugo rolled his eyes, stepping in between the two. 

“She’s staying on _my_ crew.” Hugo said firmly, fixing Caine with a glare. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you said it would be _their_ choice?” Caine responded smugly, dropping the ropes into the ocean below. Hugo was seething, he couldn’t really get a good read on her and it was driving him insane. One moment she was snarky and the next she was vulnerable, looking like she was on the verge of a breakdown. It kept throwing him for a loop. “We should be able to catch up with the moonstone within the hour. She may be the fastest ship in the seven seas, but she wasn’t built for this kind of weather. Cass knows this, so she’ll be taking her time. Although I’m sure Varian’s already found a way to tick her off, he’s a snarky little shit.” 

Hugo snickered at that. Varian always was a little spitfire, it’s what had drawn Hugo to him, it’s what made him unique, different from anyone he’d ever met. It’s what he lov- He stopped himself quickly, shaking his head to clear those thoughts, he couldn’t go down that path right now. Not when there was so much on the line and Varian likely didn’t feel the same. “She wouldn’t hurt him, would she? They want him alive, right?” 

Caine didn’t say anything, and that told him more than any words could. 

Hugo worked quickly to help her with the rest of the ropes before the two of them moved to bring up the anchor. It took longer than he’d have liked. He briefly glanced to the center mast where Yong was tying their supplies to it. It was mostly busy work to keep Yong out of the way, _safe._ Once the anchor was secure Hugo ran over to Yong, wrapping a rope around the mast before tying it around Yong’s waist. 

“What’s this for?” Yong asked, his hair whipping around in the wind, his cheeks pink from the continuous onslaught of rain. 

“So if you fall overboard we can find you.” Hugo explained, giving the rope an experimental tug. 

“O-oh.” Yong stammered, looking like he was regretting his decision of coming along. It was too late now, it was too late for all of them. Their fate now belonged to the sea. The boat rocked dangerously as they moved further out to sea, the burning town of Pyre already disappearing amongst the flames, smoke, and rain. 

Hugo wiped uselessly at his glasses, trying to clear the water from them with no luck. “Are there cannons on this thing?! We’re going to need cannons!” 

“I wouldn’t worry about that right now!” Nuru yelled, pointing to the giant wave approaching them. 

_“Fucking hell.”_ Hugo cursed, his mind racing. They needed to do something. It would be impossible to outrun. 

“I’m going through it!” Nuru decided, turning the ship sharply so they were facing the wave. 

“Are you _fucking_ crazy?!” Caine shouted, her knuckles white from how tight she was holding onto the side of the ship. 

“If we try to go over that thing we’re going to capsize! If we ride the wave we’re losing all our ground! We’ll never catch up at that point! I’m going through it!” Nuru responded, her face set with determination. 

“Nuru-“ 

“Shut the sails and hold on tight!” 

Hugo didn’t argue, there was no point, even if he could somehow wrestle her away from the wheel the wave was practically upon them, it’s dark shadow covering most of the small vessel. Caine seemed to agree, the two of them moving quickly to secure the small sails, Caine latching onto the side of the ship as Hugo joined Yong at the mast, the young boy looking terrified out of his mind. This was a bad idea, a horrible _fucking_ idea. He should’ve fought harder for Yong to stay behind. 

“It’s going to be okay. Just hold on tight and hold your breath. It’s going to be fine.” Hugo said, holding onto the mast as tightly as possible, Yong clinging to him. 

“Hang on!” Nuru shouted, the ship groaning as it collided with the water. Hugo took a deep breath, Yong doing the same, as he tried his best to hold on to the small boy and the mast, water rushing past. Hugo could feel his fingers slipping, fingernails digging into the wood as the water lifted them up and threatened to pull them away. It did him no good, his hand slipping off the mast, the water carrying him along with it. He knew better than to fight it, but if he got lucky he could grab the edge before he was swept into the sea. He did not want to drown before he knew if Varian was safe, he didn’t want all of this to be for nothing. But it was hard to stay positive as he was spun around in the water, tumbling every which way, his glasses somehow staying on the entire fucking way. He barely managed to grab onto the ledge, his arms screaming in protest as the rest of the water washed over him. Hugo’s breath left him momentarily as he slammed into the side of the ship, his arms and lungs aching as he coughed up whatever water had managed to lodge itself in his chest. 

“So it’s not just Varian that’s the trouble magnet, huh?” Caine quipped, helping Hugo back onto the ship. 

“Shut up.” Hugo hissed, taking a moment to catch his breath. 

“Everyone accounted for?” Nuru asked, briefly glancing around the ship, before jogging back to the wheel. She likely got pulled away by the water as well, but by the looks of it just so. Yong was still by the mast, the rope holding strong and keeping him in place. He looked terrified, but he was in one piece and that’s all that mattered. 

“Please tell me we’re not doing that again.” Yong said, his wide eyes as he stared up at the stars. Hugo laughed, his shoulders shaking with relief, Yong dissolving into a fit of laughter shortly after, Nuru not long behind them. 

“You’re all fucking crazy.” Caine said, shaking her head as she went about loosening the sails again. “At least the rain is stopping.” 

Hugo stopped laughing at that. If the rain was stopping the waves would be dying down soon. Which meant that the moonstone would be able to reach her full speed, which meant they’d lose her, they’d lose _Varian._

“Fuck.” Hugo cursed. The waves already decreasing in size, the wind becoming less harsh. “How far out are they?” 

“There!” Yong shouted, pointing out the very faint silhouette of a ship in the distance, it’s teal blue stripes visible even in the darkness. They were almost there. They could do this. Everything was going to be okay, everything was- 

“Now would be a good time to find those cannons!” Nuru ordered, turning the ship to follow the other. Hugo scrambled to his feet, pushing all thoughts and doubts aside as they searched for the cannons and moved them into place. 

“There’s no fucking cannonballs!” Caine yelled, blowing a strand of hair out of her face in frustration. Hugo groaned, of course there wouldn’t be any fucking cannonballs. He looked around trying to think of something, his eyes finally landing on their supplies. 

“What’s in the bags?!” Hugo asked, Yong hurrying to rifle through them. 

“Umm, there’s food and water, _a lot_ of water actually.” Yong listed off, holding up one of the bags, drenched in water. Hugo grimaced, there went their food supply. “Chemicals, and ohhh!” 

“Oh? Is that good?” Hugo asked, moving over to where Yong was, the boys eyes alight with excitement. If they had any luck he found some explosives, dynamite, or maybe even- 

“I’ve got a jar of dirt! I’ve got a jar of dirt!” Yong shouted excitedly, holding a giant jar of dirt in the air for everyone to see. 

“How in the _fuck_ is that helpful?” Hugo said, rummaging through the bags himself since Yong obviously wasn’t taking this seriously. They were so close now, there was no way that they hadn’t been spotted. They needed a weapon, something they could defend themselves with, until they could grab Varian and get the fuck out of there. 

“It’s very helpful! Just watch this!” Yong said, moving to the closest cannon and shoving the jar of dirt inside. 

“Wait!” The three observing members of the crew all shouted simultaneously, but they were too late, Yong already lighting the fuse with a dry match he got from who knows where. The explosion rocked the small ship, the jar flying through the air and hitting the moonstone’s centermost mast. Surprisingly the jar didn’t shatter, simply going through the mast, the wood groaning as it snapped in half. The sounds of the soldiers on board shouting reached their ears as the mast fell, taking some of the railing into the water below with it. 

“How in the hell did you do that?” Hugo asked, stunned as he watched the unfolding chaos. 

“Easy! When sand is heated to the right temperature it turns to glass, and, well, that was a lot of sand and glass.” Yong explained, a proud smile on his face. 

“Of course! Of course, you little fucking _genius!”_ Hugo said, grabbing the sides of Yong’s face and planting a kiss to his forehead. Yong made a face at the action, but seemed otherwise unbothered. Hugo felt so fucking stupid, of course that’s what Yong was trying to do. It was brilliant, absolutely brilliant. “How much more dirt do we have?” 

“Uh, that was it.” Yong answered sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. Hugo pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course that was all of it, he supposed it wasn’t a total loss, they did take out a mast which would slow the ship considerably. But now they had definitely been seen, if there had been a chance that they hadn’t yet they were on the Coronan’s radar now. Hugo cursed under his breath, his eye catching the slew of chemicals. He hastily picked some up, popping the cork and taking a whiff from each. He hoped he could tell which chemicals they were by smell alone, if not there could be some serious consequences. Deciding they were safe, Hugo stuffed the vials into the cannon, Yong lighting the fuse as soon as Hugo was done. The chemicals exploded, creating a thick layer of pink and blue smoke around the ships. 

“I’m going aboard.” Hugo announced, grabbing a nearby rope to use to swing over to the other ship. His nerves suddenly hit him. He didn’t know what waited on the other side, he didn’t want to think about it too much. The rescue would either be successful or a suicide mission. He wasn’t sure how many soldiers he could fight off on his own. 

“Not alone you’re not.” Caine said, joining Hugo on the ledge of the ship. He gave her a grateful nod. “Keep us covered.” 

“Good luck!” Yong shouted, sorting through his stash of chemicals. 

“Bring him home!” Nuru cheered, giving Hugo a thumbs up before turning the ship, giving the two enough momentum to swing onto the much larger ship. Hugo took a deep breath, pushing off the ledge of the ship and into the pink and blue smoke. 

**********************

Varian cried out in pain as Cassandra’s heeled boot connected with his chest, his back colliding with the deck. He was fairly certain something cracked, it might’ve just been the rattling of his teeth, maybe something more, but he didn’t have time to think about it, Cassandra stepping down harshly on his chest, pinning him to the floor. Varian tried to remove her foot, his chest rattling with each breath, she didn’t budge, pushing down harder the harder Varian tried to break free. He felt like his ribs were going to snap in half, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He didn’t know why he was still fighting, Pyre was long gone. His chances of escape long gone. Everything he had and held dear long gone. He let go of her boot, glancing past Cassandra’s cruel face and to the stars beyond. It was beautiful. He wondered if his dad was waiting for him up there. Was his mom? He knew they said she was alive but who really knew? Would they be happy to see him? Would Hugo, when his time came? And Yong? And Nuru? He should just give up. He should just let go. 

“I knew it wouldn’t take long to break you. Without that little bag of tricks of yours you’re _nothing.”_ Cassandra sneered, her boot pressing further down still. Varian gasped, the pressure making it difficult to breathe. 

“Cassie, _please.”_ Varian forced out, wiggling underneath her boot, trying desperately to alleviate some of the pain. He squeezed his eyes shut, the tears spilling free. He gripped onto her boot, pushing, scratching, doing anything he could to get her _off._ She was actually going to kill him, she was, and he was _fucking terrified._ He was wrong, he was so fucking wrong. He didn’t want to die, he didn’t want to. Not like this, not when he still had so much he wanted to do. _Fuck,_ he just wanted to see Hugo one more time. 

“Don’t _Cassie,_ me. Open your eyes. I want to _see_ your _pain,_ your _suffering,_ I want you to see death coming and be _helpless_ to stop it. Most of all I want to see that last bit of fleeting hope go out as you realize he’s _not coming._ He doesn’t care about you, _he never did.”_ Cassandra said, the barrel of her gun settling underneath his chin. Varian froze, his eyes flying open as the cool metal connected with his skin. He stopped struggling, stopped fighting, not by choice but by fear. This was it, he was going to die. He could feel the gun shift as she moved her finger to the trigger. “You’ve been more trouble than you're worth. Rapunzel is going to thank me for this.” 

He wondered if he could be fast enough to knock the gun away before she pulled the trigger. Would it matter if he wasn’t? He was going to die regardless. He may as well go out with a fight. His eyes narrowed in determination, his grip tightening on her boot. Cassandra laughed, her tongue clicking as she opened her mouth to say something. She froze suddenly, her head turning up, Varian didn’t bother to follow her gaze, using his foot to kick the foot that wasn’t on his chest out from underneath her and his hand to knock the gun out of her hand. She cursed as she hit the deck, a gunshot went off once again a little too close for comfort before the gun clattering uselessly to the side. His ears were ringing again, but Varian didn’t waste any time, scrambling to get away. He didn’t get far when a deafening groan reached his ears, the mast in front of him starting to tilt dangerously. His eyes went wide as the mast started to fall towards him, he pushed himself up, his feet sliding on the slick deck as he ran out of the way. He barely made it out of the path of the mast, however he didn’t make it out of the path of the sail, the heavy white fabric pulling the still unsteady boy back to the ground. 

It was an odd feeling, the fabric suffocating in its own right but nothing like Cassandra’s boot had been. It muffled the sounds of the commotion from outside this strange little bubble, and Varian strongly considered just staying put until whatever threat there was above had passed. He didn’t get the luxury, feet coming a little too close for comfort as he crawled around, trying to find a way out from underneath the sail. He wondered where Cassandra was. Did she get wrapped up in the sail? Did she get squished by the mast? Part of him wished she did. It was a cruel and selfish part of him, but his life would be so much better without Cassandra in it. He wouldn’t be in as much pain as he was if it wasn’t for her, well, physically. His emotional pain was all his own fault. He wondered how Hugo was doing. He hadn’t seemed to take it well, _Varian_ hadn’t been taking it well. He just hoped that Cassandra and Caine were right, that he wouldn’t come for him, the whole point was to keep Hugo away from all of this. He held onto the compass around his neck tightly as he searched for a way out, he refused to let it go, it would be a harsh reminder of everything he had given up, everything he had lost, everything he fought for. And he’d _never_ stop fighting again. 

After what felt like an eternity Varian found his way out from underneath the sail. The crew ran all around the ship, people barking orders, a sizable dent from where the mast had fallen. By the looks of it no one was injured. Varian pushed himself to his feet, grateful for the ongoing commotion. Maybe he could use this as a chance to escape. He was certain there had to be rowboats somewhere, and they weren’t terribly far from Pyre, he could likely make it back in one piece. Varian ran in the opposite direction as the crew, scooping up a sword as he went, thankful that none of them paid him any mind. At least not for the moment. 

“Load the fucking cannons, you imbeciles!” Cassandra shouted, a small trail of blood flowing from her nose. Likely from when Varian had kicked her to the ground. She definitely wasn’t going to be happy if she caught him. Their eyes locked for a second, Cassandra’s lip curling even further in anger. She raised her gun without hesitation. She didn’t get to shoot this time, a loud _bang_ smothering all other sounds. The ship rocked, pink and blue smoke filling the air. Varian coughed as the smell of the chemicals assaulted his senses, his lungs burning as he sucked in breath after breath of the stuff. There was only one person _stupid_ enough to come up with a plan like this and it was- 

_“Hugo.”_ Varian breathed out, his heart soaring at the sight of the blonde. He looked like shit, his eyes red rimmed, his wet clothes clinging to his skin, the pool of red on his shoulder, his hair and the rest of him covered in odd patches of pink and blue. But he was alive, _and he was here._

Varian felt like he could cry from relief, from happiness. After all the shitty things he had said Hugo shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t have come, and yet he did. Hugo didn’t look as relieved, his shoulders stiff, hesitant, like he was nervous, waiting for Varian to make the first move. Varian was more than happy to oblige, quickly crossing the deck to where Hugo was standing, ignoring the fact that Caine had apparently come with him, that didn’t matter right now, all that mattered was Hugo was here. He didn’t even think about how Hugo must be feeling, he was just so fucking _happy._ He slammed into Hugo, wrapping his arms around him tightly like he didn’t ever want to let go, and he really didn’t. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Varian mumbled into Hugo’s shirt, the older having yet to return the hug. Not that Varian blamed him. He had torn his heart out mere hours ago and now he’d thrown himself into his arms and was sobbing into his chest. Hugo must’ve been extremely confused, but Varian couldn’t find it in himself to care in the moment as relief washed over him. Hugo didn’t hug back, instead cupping Varian’s face gently lifting it so he was looking at him. His eyes glistened with his own unshed tears and it reminded Varian so much of when he left him crying on the ground hurt and abandoned. Hugo looked conflicted, his thumbs absentmindedly running over Varian’s cheeks, his lips pursed as he lost himself in thought. 

“Are you okay?” Hugo asked, his voice soft, distant, almost like he wasn’t sure if it was the right question, almost as if he didn’t want to know the answer. 

“I’m okay, I’m okay.” Varian nodded, his fingers digging into the fabric of Hugo’s shirt, providing some much needed relief to his injured fingers. Hugo’s eyes hardened for a second, hurt flashing across them briefly, and for that second Varian’s heart stopped, thinking maybe this wasn’t a rescue but to make sure Varian got what was coming to him. He hated himself for even thinking that, but he wouldn’t be surprised. He had been harsh, he should’ve just been honest, but he panicked. Hugo hadn’t deserved it, he deserved so much better than what Varian had to offer, and yet he still came. And even now the way Hugo looked at him was with nothing but love and affection, and he didn’t fucking _deserve_ it. “Are you okay?”

Hugo shrugged, the smallest upturn of his lips. “I will be.” 

“Hugh, I-“

“Well isn’t this fucking _adorable.”_ Varian turned quickly at the sound of Cassandra’s voice, her sword in one hand and her gun in the other. “Guess I was wrong. Your little _whore_ does care. Shall we see how much?” 

“Cass-“ Caine shouted. Cassandra didn’t even flinch as she raised her gun and pulled the trigger. Varian pushed Hugo out of the way, Hugo keeping a firm grasp on his wrist and pulling him mostly out of harm's way. They hit the ground with a _thud,_ Varian straddling Hugo, his palms scraping the deck. Varian’s arm screamed in pain, the sleeve of his shirt torn from where the bullet grazed his arm. Blood flowed freely from the wound, it hurt like hell, but nothing compared to the bullet that went through his leg. 

“Are you okay?” Varian asked Hugo, the other seeming a little dazed. If he had to guess he hit his head when they hit the deck. Hugo blinked a few times, regaining his bearings, before nodding. Varian didn’t give him a chance to ask the question himself, scrambling to his feet and pulling Hugo up with him. Hugo immediately pulled Varian flush against him as another gunshot went off, the bullet barely missing them, the wood of the railing splintering where they once stood. 

“Give us a fucking _break_.” Hugo hissed, keeping Varian tightly in his arms, glaring daggers at Cassandra. The two stared each other down, Cassandra looking more amused than threatened. 

“Not a fucking chance.” She said, raising her gun again. 

“Cassandra! Listen to me.” Caine shouted, stepping in front of the gun, and to Varian’s surprise she hesitated, her gun lowering just a fraction. Her expression softened just a tad.

“Caine, move out of the way.” Cassandra said, her voice low, a small warning to it. Varian looked up at Hugo, he wasn’t looking at the women in front of them, his eyes narrowed as he tried to search through the pink and blue smoke to the sea, likely looking for the boat they sailed in on. He wasn’t quite sure what to do himself, they were safe right now, with Caine between them and Cassandra. It would be dumb to move, especially if Caine could talk her down. 

“No. You don’t have to do this, Cass. Just let them go. Come with me and we can sail the seas _together_ just like we always wanted to.” Caine said, reaching a hand out to Cassandra. She lowered her gun a bit more.

“Isn’t that what we're doing? Aren’t you happy here?” Cassandra asked, her expression becoming more neutral, less hate filled. 

“No, I’m not. We can leave this all behind, no more orders, no more loyalties, we can be _free._ We can be like them.” Caine said, glancing back at Varian and Hugo for a second, her expression soft and longing. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears. And it suddenly all made sense to Varian. She wanted for them what she couldn’t have for herself, she thought she could spare Varian the heartbreak of what she went through, she thought they were the same, but they weren’t. Hugo would never do the things Cassandra did. Caine offered him the tiniest of smiles before turning back to Cassandra. “We can be happy. _I love you, Cass.”_

“I love you too.” Cassandra said, lowering her gun with a soft smile on her face. Caine visibly relaxed at the confession, Varian allowing himself to slump against Hugo as he released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 

“But I love Rapunzel more.” All too quickly Cassandra raised her gun firing a shot in the center of Caine’s chest, the redhead stumbling back as she clutched at the rapidly growing red spot. 

“No!” Varian shouted, reaching for Caine as Cassandra fired another shot. 

“Come on, Goggles, there’s nothing you can do.” Hugo said, grabbing Varian by the waist and forcing him into a run. He cast one last glance at Caine, the absolute heart wrenching pain on her face, the look of complete and utter betrayal, the small amount of blood that spilled from her lips, the terrible red stain at the center of her chest, the medals on her sash soaked in blood, her hand reaching for Cassandra in one last feeble attempt at getting through to her as Cassandra kicked her overboard, Caine plummeting into the sea she loved so much. 

Varian held back a sob, his hand tightly grasping Hugo’s as they ran across the ship. He couldn’t let Caine’s sacrifice go to waste, they had to survive this, _they had to._

“Where are we going?” Varian asked, between breaths, his lungs still burning from the smoke and from the beating from Cassandra. 

“I don’t know.” Hugo admitted, his eyes darting all around the ship, the guards finally taking notice of them. “As far away from her as possible.” 

Varian could feel the bullets whizzing past them, some coming too close for comfort as Cassandra returned her attention to them, seemingly unfazed by Caine’s death. “Somebody fucking _stop them!”_ Cassandra ordered. 

“Where the fuck are they?” Hugo mumbled, pulling his sword from its sheath as the soldiers started to approach. The smoke started to clear, the sea becoming more and more visible, the rain having stopped completely now. And finally, with the clearing smoke, Varian could make out the silhouette of a small ship across the deck. Hugo must have spotted it as well, pointing in the direction of the ship. “There! I’ll hold them off, you get to safety.” 

“Like hell you will.” Varian shot back, holding his sword out in front of him, standing back to back with Hugo. “We’re doing this _together.”_

“Varian-” 

Varian shook his head, offering Hugo a soft, reassuring smile. “We fight together or we run together, but I’m not leaving you, not again.”

“You mean that?” Hugo asked, looking over his shoulder at Varian as he kicked the first soldier back into the wave of them that approached. 

“I do.” Varian answered, locking blades with a guard, the metal groaning as they pushed against each other. Varian grit his teeth, his arms shaking with the effort to keep his attacker away. “Look, Hugh, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t-“ Varian moved to the side, letting the guard stumble forward as he slammed the hilt of his sword into the guard’s head. “I didn’t- the things I said-“ 

Hugo ducked, just dodging the swing of a sword. “Are we really doing this _now?”_

“ _Yes.”_ Varian insisted, yelping as he had to jump back to dodge an attack. He recovered quickly, running his sword through the guard’s shoulder. The red spread quickly and Varian felt sick, it reminded him so much of what happened to Caine, the image flashing to the front of his mind. He pushed it aside, he couldn’t think about it right now, if he lost himself he’d put Hugo at risk. He’d already caused him so much pain. “I need you to know I didn’t mean any of it. I thought if I pushed you away you wouldn’t come, you wouldn’t have to deal with all of _this._ I didn’t want to hurt you.” 

“Well you did.” Hugo admitted, not bothering to hide the hurt that flashed across his features. Varian froze, lowering his sword. He hated that look on Hugo’s face, he hated that he caused it. Varian reached for him, another apology on the tip of his tongue. Hugo pulled Varian against him, his sword running through the guard behind Varian. They stared into each other’s eyes, the commotion around them lost. This closeness, _Hugo_ , was the only thing that mattered in the moment. Hugo cupped his cheek with his free hand, his features softening. “I care about you, _a lot._ But it really fucking hurts that you think a few choice words would get me to stop caring.” 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. I care about you too. I just- I’m sorry. I should’ve been honest with you. But I really do care about you, more than I’ve cared about anything before.” Varian said, spinning them around so he could block the incoming attack from another soldier. 

“Does that mean you’ll think about it?” Hugo asked, fending off his own attacker. 

“Think about what?” Varian responded, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. They were back to back again, Varian narrowly moving out of the way of a sword. 

“My proposal. We have a lot of shit to figure out, but I still want to be with you. I- I think I’m falling in love with you.” Hugo confessed, turning to face Varian once again, a soft smile on his face. Hurt still shone behind his eyes, but so did hope and love. Varian let out a choked laugh, tears welling in his eyes from relief. Hugo still cared about him, he still wanted to _be with him._ And he wanted to be with him too, he never wanted to let him go again. They could work things out, they would figure it out. He just didn’t want to be without Hugo anymore. 

“I’m falling in love with you too. I really, really, am.” Varian said, cupping Hugo’s face and pressing their foreheads together. They were practically surrounded now, there was no way they’d get out of this, but if they were going to die at least they’d go together. Hugo closed the distance between them, capturing Varian’s lips, pulling him as close as possible. Varian smiled into the kiss, it hadn’t even been that long since Hugo had last held him, kissed him, but it felt like an eternity. And even though they were likely about to die, at least it was in Hugo’s arms. He’d accepted their fate. Varian deepened the kiss, not wanting to waste a second of their time together, not wanting to take it for granted again. 

“So is that a yes?” Hugo asked, his lips still grazing Varian’s, a smile on his face. 

“That’s a hell yes.” Varian said, claiming Hugo’s lips again. It was messy, but so were they. Varian’s fingers playing with the still damp strands of Hugo’s hair, his other hand cupping the back of his neck. Hugo’s hands had settled on Varian’s lower back, keeping them flush against each other. Hugo smelled like smoke and chemicals, the taste on his lips intoxicating, and something more metallic to the kiss as well. The pink and blue smoke had settled into something more like powder, the substance smearing across Varian’s cheeks as Hugo brought his hands up to his face. The world was lost around them, just the two of them, just each other, nothing else mattered, and for those few moments everything was okay. 

A loud _boom_ rang out, the ship pitching to the side, the sound of wood splintering a little too close for comfort. They broke the kiss, Varian holding on tightly to Hugo as the ship rocked. Some of the soldiers weren’t so lucky, tumbling to the ground with the movement. Hugo looked confused, the attack not having come from the direction of his ship. “What the fu-“ 

Another _boom_ , this time further away. “Stop blowing holes in my fucking ship!” Came Cassandra’s angry cry, her sword cutting the neck of a pirate that had boarded the ship. 

“Fucking hell.” Hugo mumbled, his eyes focusing on the pirate ship that was sailing alongside them, much larger than the ship Hugo had, something about it oddly familiar. Varian’s heart stopped when he saw the woman at the helm. She was Hugo’s boss, he’d recognize her anywhere, her white hair done up in a braid, the way she looked down her nose at them, a scowl on her face. She was _fucking pissed._

Varian yelped as he was spun around, the sound of metal clashing, the tip of a sword centimeters from the tip of Varian’s nose. He stared wide eyed at it frozen in place even as Hugo moved them out of harm's way. They had been so close to being skewered, and Hugo had willingly turned them to take the brunt of the attack. 

“How did I know I’d find you with your tongue halfway down his throat?!” Nuru said, pushing the guard back with her crossed blades. She was quick, wasting no time in slicing her sword across their abdomen, the guard dropping instantly. “And here I am saving _your_ ass once again.” 

“What can I say-“ Hugo shrugged, joining Nuru as she took down guard after guard, the two working in perfect sync together. It was strangely beautiful to watch. “-I have to keep you on your toes _somehow.”_

“I’d rather you didn’t.” Nuru shot back, ducking so Hugo could swing his sword over her. 

“Where’s Yong?” Hugo asked suddenly, his eyebrows furrowing as he glanced around the ship. 

“You- you brought _Yong?”_ Varian sputtered. Why in the ever loving _fuck_ would they bring Yong? Wasn’t he home? Why would he come? 

“Yeah, he wanted to come with us. He wanted to make sure you were okay. You _did_ leave without saying goodbye.” Hugo said, his sword clashing with the guards in front of him, his teeth grit together. Varian grimaced, another wave of guilt hitting him as he was locked in his own battle. He didn’t mean to worry Yong, he didn’t want to worry anyone. He was going to have _a lot_ of apologizing to do. 

“Don’t worry he’s with Donella.” Nuru said, moving onto the next guard. 

“Like that’s better.” Hugo groaned, rolling his eyes, and knocking the guard Varian was fighting out. “Your feet are too close together.” 

Varian shot Hugo a glare over his shoulder. “Is now really the time for this?” He hissed reluctantly moving his feet further apart. 

“No better time to learn than on the battlefield.” Hugo and Nuru echoed, each doing their own impression of who Varian assumed to be Donella. 

“Any other critiques?” Varian said, rolling out of the way of a rushing guard, the guard accidentally running into the one Varian had been fighting. 

_“Actually-“_

“We have to _go.”_ Nuru ordered, cutting off Hugo’s sentence. She pointed in the direction of the ship, a very large man fending off the soldiers that tried to use their ropes to get onto their ship. Varian recognized him from Hugo’s crew, but he couldn’t quite remember his name. 

“Cyrus!” Hugo called, his hand moving as he spoke. Cyrus didn’t answer, at least not in a way Varian understood, the man’s hands also moving in a series of motions, not a single one holding any meaning to Varian. Hugo seemed to understand, a laugh escaping his lips as he responded. “Nice to see you too. I wasn’t sure if you made it out of that little mutiny alive.” 

Cyrus didn’t take long to respond, his middle finger high in the air, and _that_ Varian understood. Hugo laughed louder. “I love you too!” 

Varian couldn’t help but laugh himself, it was nice to see Hugo in his comfort zone. And they were almost there, they were almost _free._ He could practically taste the freedom, it was strange to think before he was running away from Hugo and now he was running away _with_ Hugo. They were so close, they were so fucking close. 

A gunshot went off.

Varian froze, Hugo froze, and Nuru _screamed._ Hugo ran over to her, quickly pressing a hand to her bleeding side. Varian felt like his heart was in his throat, this was all his fault no one was supposed to get hurt, _especially_ not his friends. And now Nuru was bleeding out on the floor, Caine was dead, countless soldiers, pirates, and innocents had all died because of him. He didn’t want anyone else to suffer. They needed to get her out of here so she could get some help. 

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay. You’re okay, the bullet just took out a piece of your side, but we’ll get you all stitched up and taken care of.” Hugo reassured, his hands slick with blood. Cyrus was already at Hugo’s side, lifting Nuru into his arms. 

She looked dazed, but not enough to stay quiet. “I swear if I make it out of this alive, I’m going to kill you.” Her threat would’ve been so much more menacing if it wasn’t for how small she looked in Cyrus’s arms. 

“I know you will, Ru.” Hugo said, placing a soft kiss to her forehead. Hugo simply moved his hands this time, not bothering to speak the words aloud, but Cyrus seemed to understand, giving a nod and heading back to their ship, trying his best not to jostle Nuru. 

Varian joined Hugo at his side, lacing their fingers together. “She’ll be alright, she’s tough. Let’s get out-“ 

Varian pushed Hugo back, a bullet flying between the two of them. Hugo looked shocked, caught off guard, completely different than how he was when fighting with Nuru, but now he also looked _furious._ And by all rights so did Cassandra. 

“You’re not getting away that easily.” Cassandra sneered, her sword dripping with blood, her gun still smoking. “Should I shoot you next, or your little _boyfriend?”_

Steam was practically rising from Hugo, the taller absolutely seething as she waved her gun from Varian to Hugo and back again. “I’m going to make you _pay.”_ Hugo growled, his sword at the ready. “If you even _think_ about hurting any one of my friends I’ll fucking slaughter you.” 

Cassandra smiled, her teeth glistening in the moonlight, her eyes practically glowing with excitement. She looked horrifying. And she raised her gun, pulling the trigger just as quickly, Varian barely moving out of the way in time. The bullet leaving a smoking hole in the deck, and Varian _knew_ she was just trying to get a rise out of Hugo, and it was fucking working. 

“Oops.” Cassandra said with a shrug, her smile growing as Hugo’s grip tightened on his sword. 

“You want to fight? Fine, let’s fucking _fight.”_ Hugo sneered, a look of anger on his face like Varian had seen before. But he couldn’t let Hugo fight. He knew Cassandra and he knew how much she loved to play with her victims before slaughtering them. She was goading him into his demise. 

“Hugh, don’t-“ 

He didn’t listen, the older already lunging at Cassandra. Their swords clashed, the metal screeching as they pushed against each other. Cassandra looked mildly entertained and Hugo looking downright pissed off. 

“It’s cute that you think you can win. People like you _don’t_ win.” Cassandra said, spinning out of the way, Hugo stumbling forward. He ducked as her sword swung through the air, kicking her legs out from underneath her. Her gun clattered to the ground, Varian diving for it as Cassandra leapt to her feet. Hugo didn’t miss a beat, swinging his sword through the air, Cassandra leaning back to avoid the attack, the sword still leaving a sizable cut along her cheek and nose. She seemed unfazed, grabbing Hugo’s arm and bringing her elbow down harshly. Hugo gasped, dropping his sword as Cassandra kicked him in the gut. He hit the ground, Cassandra stomping on his hand as he reached for his sword. “Nice try.” 

“Thanks, but it’s not me you have to worry about.” Hugo laughed. Varian leveled the gun to Cassandra’s head, his hands shaking, his heart pounding in his chest. He wasn’t sure if he could actually pull the trigger, he just hoped she’d let them go. 

“Oh isn’t this so fucking _precious._ You think you can protect him? Go ahead then, pull the trigger.” Cassandra smiled, the blood from her cut dripping down her face as she stepped up to the gun, pressing her forehead against it. “A bit of a warning the kickback can be a real _bitch.”_

“Just- just let us go and I won’t shoot you.” Varian said, trying his best to keep his expression neutral, his hands still shaking. 

“See, I don’t think you will. You would’ve done it already. You don’t have the _guts._ Come on, Varian, pull the fucking trigger. _Pull the fucking trigger.”_ Cassandra said, a wide smirk on her face, strangely relaxed for someone that had a gun to her head. Varian sputtered, his eyes darting to Hugo, the other on his knees, his sword just out of reach. If he could keep Cassandra distracted just a little longer- Cassandra followed his gaze, her smile widening even more. Cassandra ripped the gun out of Varian’s hands, spinning around and kicking Hugo’s injured shoulder. He skidded back, pain evident on his face. Varian dove for the sword, Cassandra reacting quickly, grabbing a fistful of his hair and yanking him up. Varian’s hands flew to his head, struggling against her, trying to pry her hand off. His scalp felt like it was on fire, the strands of his hair threatening to rip from the roots. 

“I told you to pull the trigger, and you couldn’t even do it. Now you get to watch your whore die before I put a bullet in your head. All because you couldn’t make a fucking _choice_.” Cassandra said, moving her hand to his jaw, her nails digging into his skin as she forced him to look at Hugo. Hugo’s chest was heaving, his hand gripping his shoulder, his blood, or maybe it was Nuru’s, staining the fabric of his shirt. Varian supposed she was right, he needed to make a choice. He needed to do something. He needed to stop letting everyone decide for him, he needed to take control of his life. He’d fight for what he wanted. He’d make his own choices. 

Varian’s eyes darted to the sword, it wasn’t too far from him, if he moved quickly he could get it. He didn’t have a plan beyond that, just get the sword and _swing._ He wouldn’t hesitate this time. 

And Varian made a choice. 

“I’m sorry.” Varian said, a soft smile on his lips, his eyes hardened in determination. He didn’t know if he’d survive, but Hugo would, and that’s all that mattered. 

Hugo shook his head, likely having figured out Varian’s plan. “Varian-“ 

Varian elbowed Cassandra in the gut, the woman loosening her hold enough for Varian to pull free, her nails dragging down his jawline. He skidded on his knees, scooping the sword up. He raised it high in the air bringing it down in one fell swoop. The sound of flesh tearing reached his ears, Cassandra’s scream, a gunshot. Blood splattered across his face, his eyes wide in terror, his breathing far too short, far too rapid. He couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything but stare in shock. Her scream echoed in his ears, the sounds of the raging battle lost to him. All he could hear was the scream, the complete agony. It was almost too much, the screaming, the clashing of the swords, Hugo’s terrified look, the blood sticky and warm on his face. And all he could do was stare at Cassandra’s severed hand, the gun still clutched in it. 

************************

Hugo stared in shock. He’d seen his fair share of wounds, bloody injuries that had to be stitched and healed, but this was the first time he’d ever witnessed a limb being severed and he wasn’t sure he ever wanted to see it again. Eventually Hugo tore his eyes away from the bleeding stump of Cassandra’s hand, settling on the smoking bullet hole in the deck inches from where he sat. There had been far too many close calls for one battle, with the explosion on the dock, being surrounded by soldiers, almost being shot _multiple_ times, Nuru _actually_ being shot, and this last fight with Cassandra. And Varian had ended it, he’d made that choice. Hugo knew he didn’t have it in him to actually kill anyone, hell, he doubted he’d actually hurt anyone if his life didn’t depend on it. But he’d done it for _him._ And now Hugo needed to make sure it didn’t go to waste. 

He moved over to Varian, the younger shaking, his eyes blown wide, looking two shades paler than normal, he wasn’t looking at Hugo, more so looking through him. He tried to wipe the blood from his face, but his hands weren’t the cleanest, the action doing nothing but smearing the blood further. “Hey, we _need_ to go. Babe, please, we need to go _now.”_

Varian didn’t react. Hugo hated this, this whole shitty situation, but he didn’t have time to talk Varian out of whatever mind space he was in, he didn’t have the time to comfort him. He gently shook Varian’s shoulders, his blue eyes finally snapping to Hugo’s worried green ones. “We need to go.” Hugo repeated, eyeing the soldiers that were drawing closer due to Cassandra’s screams, they still hadn’t stopped. 

Varian gave the smallest of nods and that was all the invitation Hugo needed to pull him to his feet, holding tightly onto his hand as they ran towards where the ropes had been. Cyrus threw them a rope, Hugo wrapping an arm tightly around Varian the other gripping the rope, grateful that Varian was present enough to hold onto him. 

“Hold on tight.” Hugo instructed, nonetheless, launching them off the ship and towards the other, the one he for so long called home. Varian’s eyes were still elsewhere, looking back at the other ship and the life he just left behind. The life he’d willingly left behind for _him._ Varian had chosen _him._ His heart soared at the thought, especially since a few hours ago he thought he’d never get to hold Varian, kiss him, be with him again. But it still ached, the pain of his words wouldn’t go away just like that, just like he knew the pain of _his_ actions wouldn’t just disappear for Varian. 

Hugo fell to his knees as soon as his feet hit the deck, Varian joining him. He wanted to kiss the fucking floor, he wanted to kiss _Varian._ They had made it, they actually made it. The cannons were a distant sound in his ears, the gentle rocking of the ship moving away from the other a comforting feeling, the waves so much calmer than they had been. And Hugo felt like he could drop from exhaustion then and there. 

“We made it.” Varian said softly, his eyes still distant, but significantly less hazy. 

“Yeah.” Hugo said, trying to catch his breath. 

“We’re safe?” Varian asked, his face looking utterly more exhausted than Hugo felt. 

Hugo nodded, humming in confirmation. “Yeah, we’re safe.” 

“Good.” Varian glanced up to the sky, the stars still shining bright above, and then his eyes rolled back. Hugo caught him before he could face plant on the deck, not that it was a very far fall. He pulled him onto his lap, running a hand through his hair, a wave of guilt hitting him as he carefully avoided the spot where his streak would’ve been. He felt like he could stay here forever, waiting for Varian to wake up, it was so peaceful. He knew it wasn’t an option when Cyrus ruffled his hair. 

The older man waited for Hugo to look up before moving his hands. _“Are you okay?”_

“Debatable.” Hugo answered, signing as best he could with his free hand. “How’re Nuru and Yong?” 

_“Alive.”_ Cyrus said, Hugo rolling his eyes at the answer. He’d been hoping for a little more than that. _“Donella wants to speak with you.”_

Hugo didn’t bother speaking, the sign simple enough that he could do it with his one hand. _“No.”_

_“No?”_

_“No.”_ Hugo repeated, closing his eyes for a second, every bone in his body aching, _exhausted._

_“I’ll tell her you’ll see her first thing in the morning.”_ Cyrus said, his movements slower, making sure Hugo could properly interpret his words. Hugo smiled, grateful that Cyrus was going to take this bullet for him at least for the night. _“Your old room still hasn’t changed. Hurry before she comes looking for you.”_

_“Thank you.”_ Hugo said, nodding to Cyrus. He stood shakily, carrying Varian in his arms. The younger wasn’t heavy, but his arms still shook from the effort. He really wanted to check on Yong and Nuru too, unfortunately that would have to wait until he slept for a couple hours, or days. 

Hugo moved easily through the ship, every twist and turn he knew like the back of his hand. Until he finally stopped in front of a door across from the kitchens. It had been a supply closet once, somewhere to keep excess food, but Donella had made it into a room when Hugo joined the crew at the ripe old age of nine. She hadn’t thought it suitable for him to sleep with all the grown men in the sleeping quarters and he’d always be grateful for that. He pushed open the door, the room exactly as he remembered it, a small twin bed in the corner, shelves with various knick knacks on them, and a porthole that he had covered with some cloth after he realized the sun could be absolutely brutal shining through it, especially after a night of drinking. He set Varian down on the bed, heading into the kitchen to grab an emergency kit, a couple bowls of water, and some cloths. 

He settled on the edge of the bed as he went to work cleaning his various wounds and stitching up his shoulder. He removed his gloves, changing one out for a clean one, and wrapping the hand Cassandra had stepped on in some bandages, it wasn’t as tight as he’d have liked but it was the best he could do alone. He then moved on to Varian, starting by cleaning his wounds, stitching the cut on his arm from where the bullet had grazed him, luckily he didn’t wake up for that part. He felt a little bad for removing Varian’s shirt without his permission, but it was necessary to clean his arm. And he was glad he did when he saw the nasty purple and blue bruises that lined his chest. He lightly ran his hand over them, taking note of the slight rattle to Varian’s breathing, he’d probably fractured them. Hugo wrapped his chest like he had his own hand, careful not to wrap the gauze too tight. 

Hugo gently brushed back Varian’s bangs, smiling softly to himself. They were both such fucking messes, but somehow they completed each other, and the longer he spent with Varian the longer he couldn’t imagine spending his life with anyone else. He dipped a cloth into the water, gently running it across Varian’s face, washing the blood away. It was strangely therapeutic, the simple motions soothing almost, he felt like he was washing away their rocky past, their rough beginnings, like they were starting new. 

Hugo cleaned off the last bit of blood when Varian’s eyes fluttered open. “Hey, sleepyhead.” Hugo teased, putting the cloth back into the bowl. 

“Hey.” Varian said, a soft smile on his lips, reaching a hand up to cup Hugo’s face. 

“How’re you feeling?” Hugo asked, taking Varian’s hand and placing soft kisses on his knuckles. 

“A little shaken up, but I’m okay.” Varian admitted, removing his hand from Hugo’s just long enough to sit upright. “You?” 

“Tired, but I’ll live.” Hugo said, pushing himself fully onto the bed, settling next to Varian and wrapping his arms around him, tucking Varian’s head underneath his chin. 

“I suppose we should talk about all this, about us.” Varian said, his voice quiet and hesitant. 

“It can wait until the morning. But I prom- _swear_ that we’ll talk about it. _All_ of it.” Hugo responded, and he meant it. He wanted all of Varian’s reasonings, he wanted to give Varian his, but right now he was just so emotionally exhausted he wasn’t sure he could handle that heavy of a conversation at the moment. 

“I really am sorry. For all of it.” Varian said, pushing away from Hugo’s embrace so he could properly look at him. 

“I know.” Hugo said simply, cupping the back of Varian’s neck and placing a kiss to his forehead. Varian’s eyebrows furrowed, his lips parting like he wanted to say more. Hugo put a finger to his lips. “Tomorrow, please.” 

“This is important.” Varian said, kissing Hugo’s finger. Hugo sighed, gesturing for him to continue. He knew he wouldn’t be able to deny Varian, especially if he started pouting. Varian smiled, placing a soft kiss to Hugo’s lips. “I want you to know that whatever we talk about tomorrow it won’t change how I see you. I meant what I said. I’m falling for you and nothing you could possibly say will make me stop.” 

“Nothing?” Hugo asked, his heart skipping a beat. He couldn’t- he didn’t actually mean that. How could he when he didn’t know the things that Hugo had done. But there was something so genuine, so sincere, about the way Varian said it that made Hugo believe it was true. 

“Nothing.” Varian repeated, his eyes hardened in a way that left no room for argument, no room for doubt. And it was everything Hugo needed to hear. He captured Varian’s lips in a desperate and needy kiss, Varian climbing into his lap as Hugo threaded his hand through his hair, Varian’s fingers scratching lightly at his undercut, Hugo’s other hand on Varian’s hip. Varian parted his lips, granting Hugo’s tongue access to explore the rest of his mouth. His fingers tugged at the hem of Hugo’s shirt, the two separating just long enough for it to be tossed aside. Varian moved on to Hugo’s jawline, placing kiss after kiss further and further down. Hugo pulled Varian back up to his lips, placing a soft kiss to his swollen lips. 

“We should take it slow.” Hugo said, not wanting to force Varian into anything he wasn’t ready for. As much as he wanted him completely, in every way possible, he wouldn’t do anything Varian wasn’t comfortable with. 

“Yeah. We can take it slow, but I’m ready for this. I _want_ you, Hugo.” Varian said, locking his legs around Hugo’s waist. His blue eyes blown wide with desire. 

“I want you too.” Hugo said, Varian quickly capturing his lips once again. He gently laid Varian back on the bed, the kiss slower, deeper, more intimate on every level. And Hugo smiled through it all, enjoying every moment, every new feeling that swelled in his heart, because sure he had sex plenty of times before, but that was the first night he made love. 


	29. Change the Tides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey!!! I’m back bitches!!! Just a quick warnings for this chapter!!! The majority is from raps POV and a little surprise at the end!!! But there are descriptions of injuries and such so nastiness ahead!! 
> 
> Now to the fun stuff!!!! This chapter is dedicated to the lovely littlemisslol!!! She is one of my dearest friends and it’s her birthday!!!!!!! Actually I’m a wee bit early but it’s the thought that counts!!! So wish her a happy birthday!! She deserves all the love today and everyday!!!! Love you much babes!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Sorry your chapter is boring lol!!

She was eight years old when she had to make her first decision. It wasn’t a hard decision, it shouldn’t have held any weight and yet it did. 

_ “Rapunzel, dear, do you want to wear the pink and purple dress or the white and gold one?” The little girl reluctantly tore her eyes away from the window. All she wanted to do was go play, but Mother insisted this was important. It was her ball, her first introduction into society as Corona’s princess, heir to the throne.  _

_ “I don’t care.” She responded, turning her attention back to the birds on the tree branch. They looked so happy and free, they had friends, they had each other. She wanted that.  _

_ “It’s important that you choose. This is how the kingdom will see you for the rest of your life.” Rapunzel frowned at her mother’s words. Why was a dress so important? She didn’t understand, but she hopped out of her seat and moved over to the dresses. One a stain pink and purple dress with delicate flowery details, the other a white and gold dress with lace and lots of glitter. The pink was light, soft to the touch, whereas the white was heavy, the fabric scratchy, but it had glitter and she liked glitter.  _

_ “I like this one.” She said with a nod of her head.  _

She was ten years old when she learned that she was viewed as above everyone else, she was more important. She learned she was powerful, and she learned some people weren’t so lucky. 

_ “Rapunzel, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” She slowly lifted her head from her book, folding the corner of the page she was on and standing to greet her father with a curtsy. “Posture, dear, and don’t ruin the books like that.”  _

_ “Yes, Father.” She said, the words rolling easily off her tongue, her heart sinking just a tad as he straightened out the page and closed the book.  _

_ “This is Lord Quirin. Do you remember who he is?” Her father asked, standing next to a rather large man. He was very intimidating, but she didn’t let it shake her confidence. She had never met him before, only read about him and his family in her classes.  _

_ “He is the leader of Old Corona. He maintains our fields and makes sure our people have enough to eat. It is an honor to meet someone of such high status.” She gave another curtsy, her words sounding stiff and rehearsed even to her own ears. She just wanted to go back to her book.  _

_ Instead her father caught her arm mid curtsy, righting her before she could protest. She didn’t understand what she had done wrong, that’s how she greeted mother and father, surely Quirin deserved the same respect. “You are never to bow to someone below you, do you understand?”  _

_ “But-“  _

_ “You are a princess,  _ **_everyone_ ** _ is below you.” Rapunzel froze, she didn’t know what to say, what to think. She didn’t do anything important, she just read books all day. Quirin made sure the people were fed, shouldn’t he be the important one?  _

_ “This is my son, Varian.” Rapunzel blinked, surely she had missed something as she lost herself in thought. Quirin was now on one knee, a small child in front of him. He couldn’t have been older than five or six, even then he looked small, his clothes hung off his frame, his sleeves covering his hands, his face had too many freckles, there was an odd blue streak in his hair, almost looking like someone had run a paintbrush through it, and his too large front teeth stuck out terribly as he sucked on one of the sleeves. She couldn’t help but turn up her nose as she wrinkled it in disgust. Didn’t he have a tailor? Or  _ **_manners?_ **

_ “Varian will lead Old Corona one day. It is important that the two of you start building your relationship now.” Rapunzel knew better than to argue, still she wasn’t happy. She didn’t want to waste a perfectly good day like this. She just hoped it would be the last time she saw Varian.  _

She was twelve years old when she realized she had her first friend. She broke her first promise, she hurt her friend, unintentionally, but she had. 

_ Rapunzel giggled as they ran through the halls of the castle. She may not have liked Varian at first, but the more time they spent together the more she realized she was actually growing quite fond of the younger. She even found herself missing his company on days he didn’t come to the castle. She couldn’t wait until she was allowed to go to Old Corona to visit. They were so different from each other, but they got along fairly well. Varian loved sciences and she loved art. She found their classes boring and Varian found them interesting. While she definitely wasn’t dumb by any means Varian was far smarter. And that worked to her advantage. When their tutor wasn’t looking she’d slide Varian her assignments and the boy would finish them for her, leaving Rapunzel more time to paint and draw. If they were extra lucky, like they were today, their tutor would let them go early and off to the kitchens they ran, hoping to catch some cookies as they came out of the oven.  _

_ “Are you sure it’s okay I did your test?” Varian asked, bringing his hand to his mouth as they slowed down. Rapunzel frowned, tugging his hand away from his mouth, she hated that habit of his. She thought she broke it when she started rolling up his sleeves, apparently not.  _

_ “Oh, yeah. It’ll be fine! Don’t worry if anything happens I’ll tell them it was my idea, I promise. Besides, they can’t do anything. I  _ **_am_ ** _ the princess.” Rapunzel said, taking Varian’s hand and pulling him into the kitchen. Varian gave a small nod and a smile in return. It dropped as soon as they entered the kitchen. Her father, Quirin, and their tutor were all standing there. She had never seen her father look so angry before, she was terrified.  _

_ “Who’s idea was it?” Her father asked, neither child daring to answer. She could feel Varian shaking next to her, his hand sweaty, his other flying to his mouth. “Who’s  _ **_fucking_ ** _ idea was it?!”  _

_ They both jumped as her father slammed his hands on the counter. She hastily dropped Varian’s hand. “It was Varian’s idea.” Rapunzel blurted out. She hadn’t meant to say it, not really. She just didn’t want to get in trouble, but Varian would be fine, right? “I- I said it was a bad idea but-but he wanted-“  _

_ “But I- I didn’t say that! It was-“  _

_ The king held up his hand, silencing Varian’s protests. “Are you calling my daughter a liar?”  _

_ “I- no. I-“ Varian stuttered, looking to Quirin for help, to Rapunzel. She hung her head. She couldn’t get in trouble, she couldn’t.  _

_ “Very well. Rapunzel, go to your room.” Rapunzel’s head snapped up at that, she didn’t want to leave Varian. He was probably going to get yelled at, and it would be scary, but she wanted to hold his hand through it, she wanted to be there for him. “ _ **_Rapunzel.”_ ** __

_ “I’m sorry.” She whispered, running out the door, pretending she didn’t see his terrified blue eyes, pretending she didn't hear her father yelling, pretending she didn’t hear Quirin’s protests, pretending she didn’t hear the terrible slap that echoed through the halls, pretending she didn’t hear Varian’s cries.  _

She was fourteen when she realized not everything was as it seemed. She always knew there was more to politics than just laws. She knew one day she’d have to marry for the sake of Corona and not her own personal desires. She hadn’t realized it was more than just marriage, everything in her life would be dictated until she was queen. And even then. 

_ “Rapunzel, we need to talk about what you saw.” She couldn’t look at her father, she hadn’t been able to after that night. How could he cheat on mother like that? Didn’t they love each other?  _

_ “I haven’t told her.” She insisted, she hadn’t, she wouldn’t. She couldn’t break her heart.  _

_ “She already knows.”  _

_ “What?” Rapunzel‘s mind spun. How did she already know? How was she okay with it?  _

_ “You have to understand, as king it’s my job to do what’s best for Corona. And sometimes that includes building relationships, some of a more…. physical nature. Believe me it brings me no pleasure.”  _

_ She couldn’t look at him, she didn’t want to. Her mouth hung open as she processed the information, surely there was a better way to do things. Why did it have to come to  _ **_that?_ ** _ “I- I don’t understand. I won’t- I don’t want that! I won’t do that! There has to be another way!”  _

_ “You’ll understand one day.”  _

_ “I won’t.”  _

She was sixteen when she had to make her first official decision as princess. She chose the fate of the people at her feet, at her mercy, she held their lives in her hands. She didn’t want to be the one responsible for the decision, she didn’t want to make it. But she had to for the good of her people.

_ She had known Cassandra for exactly a year. For six months the older woman was her lady in waiting. Her mother thought it would be good to have someone closer in age to her for the job. Rapunzel agreed. Although they had different interests, much like her and Varian, they got along, and she quickly considered Cassandra a friend. However, Cassandra had other dreams. And six months later she joined Corona’s navy and set sail. They exchanged letters every day, Rapunzel writing about her life in the castle, the things her and Varian did, the odd times she would go to Old Corona. And Cassandra would tell her about her adventures on the sea, the people she met, the things she got to see. She told Rapunzel about the pirate she had met, how they fell in love, and how she wanted her to join her when she returned to Corona. Of course she said yes.  _

_ “Do you know what you’ve done? You’ve given those filthy pirates a way in! They’ll tear Corona to shreds! Is that what you want?!” Rapunzel flinched are her father's words.  _

_ “No! But-“  _

_ “If any of them step foot in Corona they will be shot on the spot! And that’s final.”  _

_ “You can’t do that! They didn’t do anything! Don’t they deserve-“  _

_ “Do Coronan’s deserve to be murdered? Pillaged? Raped? Is that what you want? Because that’s what those filthy pirates will do.”  _

_ Rapunzel’s mouth snapped shut. She hated everything about this conversation, she didn’t believe people could be that evil, she didn’t believe they didn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt, she couldn’t stand by and watch as these people were killed for doing nothing that they knew of. She was a princess, she should have the power to change it.  _

_ Her father was halfway to the door when she stood from her seat. “I have a proposal.”  _

_ “Excuse me?”  _

_ “I have a proposal.” She repeated, lifting her chin and straightening her back. She could see the way his jaw worked, an argument on the tip of his tongue. “You always say I need to step up, I need to take my responsibilities seriously, and now I am.”  _

_ “And what exactly is this proposal?”  _

_ “I propose a choice.”  _

She was eighteen when she fell in love. She fell fast and hard. She was blinded by love, she was selfish, and she broke so many promises. 

_ She pulled her cloak tightly around her, an excellent disguise if she did say so herself. She could be free of her title here, like this, and see Corona as a regular citizen. Everything outside of the castle was beautiful. Her eyes lit up as she took in the lanterns hanging from the shops, the smells of the bakery, the vendors packing up for the night. All of it was so beautiful and she had Varian to thank for it.  _

_ “Stop! Thief!”  _

_ Rapunzel turned quickly, almost tripping over her feet as she saw a figure run past. She narrowed her eyes, running after them, grabbing a frying pan off a nearby stand. No one else seemed to care, but she wasn’t about to let the thief get away, not on her watch, not in  _ **_her_ ** _ kingdom.  _

_ “Hey! Give that back! It doesn’t belong to you!” Rapunzel yelled, following the thief down an alleyway, the hairs on the back of her neck standing up. This definitely wasn’t a good idea, but she was too far in now.  _

_ “No shit!” The thief yelled back, Rapunzel catching a hint of a goatee and a flash of white teeth. She faltered just a tad. “Look, Freckles, I’d love to stay and chat but I’m sort of on a time crunch, so if you’d just back the fuck up it would be greatly appreciated! I’m sure someone as persistent as yourself has a bright future in-“ _

_ She threw the frying pan, the item hitting the thief in the back of their head with a sickening  _ **_crack._ ** _ The thief fell to the ground shortly after, the bag spilling open on the ground, various jewels and coins breaking free. It had to be more than just one shop they stole from. But she pushed the thought aside, panic welling in her chest when the thief didn’t move. She hadn’t  _ **_killed_ ** _ him, did she?  _

_ “Please don’t be dead.” Rapunzel mumbled, picking up the frying pan just in case she’d need it again. She carefully moved around the stiff body, praying to the sun above she just hadn’t killed a person. She tugged off the thief’s mask, the black fabric lying as useless as it’s owner. She experimentally poked him with the frying pan, trying to see if he’d wake up that way to no avail. Hesitantly she lowered herself to the ground, placing two of her fingers to his neck, checking for a pulse. She let out a sigh of relief at the steady  _ **_thrum_ ** _ underneath her fingertips. At least he was alive, now she just had to figure out what to do with him. She knew she couldn’t leave him out here, he may be a thief but if she left him who knew what would happen to him. She took a deep breath and slung his arm around her shoulder, leaving behind the mask and jewels, he wouldn’t be needing them anytime soon. They weren’t even his to begin with. She should see about getting them to their rightful owners. No, right now she needed to worry about the man she most likely gave brain damage to, then she could figure out the jewels if they were still there. She moved as quickly as she could back to the castle, she couldn’t go to her father and by extension she couldn’t go to her mother, her only option was Varian. She just had to cross her fingers he would know what to do.  _

_ ********************************************* _

_ “Are you fucking crazy?!” Varian hissed, his shorter legs making it hard for him to keep up with her even with her added weight as they hurried through the passageways. They didn’t have much time to get to her room before Quirin was likely to come for Varian, and they needed to be there before anyone else.  _

_ “Maybe a little.” Rapunzel said with a shrug, ignoring the irritated puff of air that Varian let out.  _

_ “Why don’t we just hand him over to the guards or something? You said he’s a thief.”  _

_ Rapunzel swallowed thickly. She couldn’t do that, not after the incident with Cassandra’s girlfriend she couldn’t risk- she simply wouldn’t do it. She didn’t want anymore deaths on her hands, especially over something so miniscule as a couple of jewels. “We can’t.” _

_ She could see the argument on the tip of his tongue, she cut him off with a wave of her hand. “I need you to trust me on this. Everything is going to be just fine, I promise.” His frown just deepened and it irritated her to no end. Why couldn’t he just  _ **_trust_ ** _ her? Why did he always have to make things so difficult? She absolutely hated pulling rank but he really left her no choice.  _

_ “Rapun-”  _

_ “You  _ **_will_ ** _ help me get him inside, and you  _ **_won’t_ ** _ tell a single soul about any of this.” Varian floundered, his mouth snapping closed but no words of affirmation following either. She needed to know he understood, she needed to know she had an ally in this. “And that’s an  _ **_order,_ ** _ do you understand?”  _

_ She held her head up tall, perhaps too tall if the way he shrunk back was anything to go by, her green eyes boring down into his blue. Finally, he gave the smallest nod, dipping his head down into a semi bow, it wasn’t anywhere near acceptable, but she supposed it would do. “Yes, Princess.”  _

_ Rapunzel watched him for a second more, giving a nod of her own, accepting his answer. “Good, now help me out would you?”  _

_ ******************************************* _

_ The following months went by in a blur. Eugene wasn’t discovered and they bonded that night. He told her stories about the outside world, she told him about castle life. She found herself sneaking out more and more often, sometimes with Varian’s help, sometimes not. She spent her time dreaming about life about the castle, just her and Eugene exploring the world together. It sounded so nice, but she knew it was too good to be true. It could never happen she was a princess and it was her duty to stay and marry for the good of Corona. All she knew was their time together was winding down, she needed to come up with a plan and quick. Eugene had something important to tell her.  _

_ He proposed, because of course he had, and she said yes, because how could she say no to the love of her life.  _

_ “We could just leave. Sure they’d come looking for you but we can take ‘em!” Eugene said, waving the frying pan through the air. Rapunzel laughed, the coolness of the roofing seeping through her dress.  _

_ “I can’t do that. My people need me.” Rapunzel sighed despite the smile on her lips.  _

_ “I need you.” Rapunzel smiled wider at his words, placing a quick kiss to his lips.  _

_ “I need you too.” Rapunzel said, lacing their fingers together and resting her head on his chest. “We’ll figure something out. I’m not going to give you up that easily.”  _

_ “Why couldn’t things here be more progressive like they are in Arendelle? I heard Princess Anna gets to marry a commoner and all he had to do was save her life, granted her sister  _ **_is_ ** _ the queen, but I digress.”  _

_ Rapunzel tuned out the rest of his words, her mind spinning as she formulated a plan. If all she needed was for Eugene to save her, she could make that happen. But there was no one she trusted that wouldn’t tell her father about her plan. No one but  _ **_Varian._ **

_ ************************ _

_ “Can I trust you?” Rapunzel asked, her legs swinging back and forth from where she had perched herself on Varian’s workbench.  _

_ “Of course.” Varian responded, his eyes scanning over the blueprints in his hands, frowning at whatever he saw on the paper. Rapunzel frowned studying him closely, she needed to be one hundred percent sure she could trust him. She couldn’t risk him ratting her out to her father. If he did she’d lose Eugene forever. She pushed herself off the table, her bare feet padding against the cold stone floor, stopping once she was in front of him, her hands placed firmly on his shoulders. “Rapunzel?”  _

_ “If I asked you to do something, would you do it?” She kept her expression neutral, Varian looking confused, his eyes darting around the room, looking anywhere but at her.  _

_ “I’m- I guess?” Varian stuttered, Rapunzel’s fingers digging into his shoulders. Didn’t he understand the importance of the question?  _

_ “It’s a simple yes or no question, Varian.” She could feel his slight shaking underneath her grip. Oh, that was interesting.  _

_ “Yes, anything you ask Princess.”  _

_ “Anything?”  _

_ “Anything.”  _

_ Rapunzel smiled, Varian may not trust her, he may not respect her, but he  _ **_feared_ ** _ her, and that was just as powerful a motivator. _

_ ************************** _

_ “Varian stop this! It’s over! We- we got what we wanted.” Rapunzel pleaded, the frying pan gripped tightly in her hands. The chains around Varian’s wrists broken, tears flowing down his cheeks, his hands shaking, the smoke from the fire curling around him.  _

_ “No!  _ **_You_ ** _ got what  _ **_you_ ** _ wanted!” His voice broke as he curled in on himself. He looked so young, so terribly young.  _

_ “Var-“  _

_ “ _ **_Don’t!_ ** _ They’re going to kill me, is that what you wanted?” She shook her head, she didn’t think he saw. “Just let me go,  _ **_please,_ ** _ just let me go.”  _

_ Rapunzel lowered the pan, glancing around the room, or what was left of it. The wall blown to pieces, the glass vials shattered on the floor, the chemicals burning, Varian on the other side of the flames, his eyes blown wide in panic, in  _ **_fear,_ ** _ behind him a giant machine of some sort, the thing that had blown the wall clean out. She couldn’t let him go, he was a threat to Corona, to her people. And she knew Varian had no reason to fear her, but she had every reason to fear  _ **_him._ **

_ **************************** _

“Varian did this?” Rapunzel asked, her fingers drumming against the table, trying her best to keep her tone even, but it was hard to keep the anger out when her best friend had been rushed to medical wing upon her arrival, her ship and crew torn to shreds. 

“Yup.” Cassandra responded, popping the ‘p’. Her face paler than normal, her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat, her eyes sporting sizable dark marks underneath, her arm wrapped tightly against her chest in a sling, the missing hand at the end sending Rapunzel’s stomach churning. “Him and his pirate whore.” 

Rapunzel sucked in a deep breath, quietly sliding her feet out of her shoes and placing them on the cold stone floor, the sensation grounding. Almost as grounding as Eugene’s hand on her shoulder as he gave a comforting squeeze. “He did  _ all  _ of this?” 

“Yes, how many times do I have to  _ tell  _ you?! He cut off my hand, he tore my ship apart, he  _ killed  _ Caine!” Rapunzel flinched at Cassandra’s tone, normally she would’ve told her to calm down, to not use that tone when speaking to the queen, but she had been through a lot, the least Rapunzel could do was offer some leeway. 

“I just don’t think Varian is capable of all that.” Eugene said, his eyebrows creased, his fingers running over his lips as he thought. 

“People are capable of terrible things when they’re backed into a corner.” Rapunzel mumbled under her breath, no one heard her. 

“I knew  _ you  _ wouldn’t believe me,  _ your majesty. _ ” Cassandra hissed, gesturing to the guards to open the door, judging by the wince on her face she tried to use her injured hand first. Rapunzel gave a small nod of consent, watching closely as the doors opened. A young man walking through, perhaps a few years younger than herself, but not quite as young as Varian. His dirty blonde hair was cut short, a choppy, obviously rushed job, fresh white bandages wrapped around his eyes, the burnt flesh visible around the edges, sickening scars down his cheeks and lips. Rapunzel felt sick. “Don’t be shy, dear, step all the way in. This is Matthias, one of Varian’s  _ victims.”  _

“Holy  _ shit.”  _ Eugene whispered next to her, Rapunzel placing her hand over his. 

“What happened?” Rapunzel asked, running her thumb over Eugene’s hand, her heart pounding in her chest. She wasn’t sure she could handle Cassandra being right. She wasn’t sure she could believe Varian did  _ this.  _

“Just as the general said. The little bastard attacked her, killed Caine, and shoved some- some kind of potion in my face.” His tone was surprisingly even, calm, cold, and calculated. Although there was a slight waver to it, she imagined due to the pain. 

“Show them.” Cassandra ordered, a smile twisting her lips. Matthias hesitated for a second before reaching up to undo the bandages. Rapunzel gasped as they fell to the floor, the scarring almost covering the entirety of his face, the bridge of his nose littered with cuts, almost completely destroyed, his one brown eye was barely visible, the eye swollen and puffy, his other eye was completely dull, blinded, a sickly green staining the iris. Rapunzel felt even more sick, if that was possible.

“I saw it all, your majesty. Cassandra wouldn’t lie to you.” Matthias said, his tone more confident as he rubbed the bandages between his fingers. 

“You’re right.” Rapunzel said with a nod. Cassandra  _ wouldn’t  _ lie to her. She needed to deal with the problem on her own. This was her mess, her monster, and now she had to clean it up. She slipped her shoes back on, standing from her seat, placing her hands firmly on the table, and she made her choice. “Prepare the Sundrop. I’m going to deal with Varian on my own.” 

***************************** 

She paced the deck, fifty paces one way, stop, turn, fifty paces the other way. It was mindless and tedious at the same time, but it was all she could do to keep from going  _ completely  _ insane. She had gone over her research so many times that the words on the pages started to blur together, nothing made sense anymore, and with no breakthroughs in the past, what,  _ eighteen years  _ it was hard to keep herself motivated. Unfortunately today was one of those days that she just couldn’t focus anymore, and she bored, so  _ fucking bored.  _ She stopped when she came to the railing of the ship, leaning over until she was certain if she leaned any further she’d fall overboard. She should probably just let herself, end it all right here, right now, what did she have left anyways? It had been days, weeks, months, years, maybe? Since she sent the letter for Varian, and he had yet to come. Not that she could really blame him, to him she was nothing more than an absentee mother. Regardless it still stung a bit, and she’d rather feel anything else, so she pushed herself over the ledge. 

She felt nothing as she landed in the rowboat, the wheels creaking as it crashed into the water with the sudden force of her intrusion. She waited for the rocking to settle before she moved, sighing as she pressed her cheek up against the rough wood, her eyes narrowed at the clear water below and then at the ugly green barrier that kept her trapped. Slowly she dipped a single digit into the water, a hiss escaping her lips as the water tore her flesh away from her bone. She smiled, pushing her whole hand into the water, and for a blissful moment the searing pain was all she could feel. Then the water rippled. 

Ulla pulled her hand away, inspecting the damage as red billowed to the surface of the water. The entirety of her hand was bone, flesh hanging from between her fingers. She frowned, that was definitely going to take some time to heal. She didn’t take her eyes away from her hand even as a head broke the surface. “Well?” 

“We found him.” 

Ulla froze, turning her attention to the siren on the side of her rowboat. The sirens skin pale, almost see through, their hair blood red at the roots only to get lighter the further away from their scalp it went, a tactic of luring prey in thinking they were injured. She watched as their features shifted into something more human, their eyes becoming smaller, no longer charcoal black but a soft ocean blue, their smile shrinking, their lips turning soft and pouty, their teeth retracting, less pointy, the scales that littered their body disappearing completely, their once flat chest replaced with curves. Ulla paid it no mind, she was no longer entranced by their beauty, by their soft, airy, sing song voices. She didn’t give a  _ shit  _ about any of that anymore. “And?” 

“He’s about two or three months away, if the tides stay the same.” The siren answered, Ulla frowning at the response. 

“Then change the tides.” Ulla said, leaning forward, the boat tipping dangerously, the whistle around her neck ghosting over the water. 

“The tides are up to the moon,  _ not us.  _ We cannot disobey her wishes.” 

“Don’t  _ bullshit  _ me, Nicola. I know what you’re capable of.” Ulla tutted, moving her finger back and forth. “I wanted him here  _ last week _ . So,  _ change the fucking tides or else.”  _

Ulla watched closely as Nicola’s eyes flicked to the whistle. She smiled, daring the siren to try, all it would take was a small rock of the boat, she’d fall in, she’d be helpless. She tapped her skeletal fingers against the boat, her eyes shining a bright green for only a second, it was enough. 

Nicola sucked in a breath, their features shifting back into something more fishy. “I’ll change the tides.” 

“Excellent!” Ulla chirped, clasping her hands together excitedly. Soon she would be seeing her son. She wondered what he liked, should she make some snacks or something? She didn’t want to be rude after all. She frowned, she didn’t think she had anything to make snacks. That was a problem, she wanted to make a good impression.

  
“Nicola, dear.” The siren froze, almost fully submerged already. “Bring back a sailor or two. I want my little boy to be well fed.” 

“He’s not like you.” Ulla pulled a face at the words, the siren unable to hide the disgust in their voice. Well, that was fucking rude. Who were they to judge? Ulla brushed it off, she refused to let it ruin her mood. She was finally going to be getting what she wanted, she was going to be  _ free.  _

“No.  _ Not yet.”  _


	30. To The End Of This World And All Others

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the boys talk!!! There’s some soft, angst, and soft again!!! Enjoy!!!

Hugo didn’t fall asleep right away. He stayed awake long after Varian had fallen asleep, running his fingers through his hair, Varian’s head resting on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around Hugo’s middle, his mouth open slightly, their limbs still tangled together. He didn’t mind though it was a nice reminder that this was  _ real,  _ that this had really happened, that Varian was safe and in his arms, and  _ his.  _ If he was being completely honest he was a little scared to fall asleep, he was scared that he’d wake up and Varian would be gone, or worse that this was a dream. It was so odd to be in this position, he’d never stuck around to cuddle, much less  _ sleep,  _ but as his eyes started to slip closed he found a small smile working its way onto his face. He could really get used to this as long as it was with Varian,  _ only  _ with Varian. Hugo placed one last kiss to the top of Varian’s head before letting his eyes slip closed and he drifted off to sleep. 

***********************

He woke to the sound of fabric rustling, the smell of food drifting through the door, and small bits of sunlight shining on his face. He turned with a groan, fully intending to pull Varian into his arms and ignore his responsibilities. He was still so emotionally drained and all he wanted to do was stay in bed with his boyfriend. A dumb smile worked its way onto his lips at the thought.  _ His boyfriend,  _ Varian was  _ his boyfriend.  _ He was so absolutely giddy at the thought. It faded when he was met with an empty bed, his eyes flying open as he shot up in bed. Had it all been a dream? Did Varian leave? What if Don-

“Sorry. Did I wake you?” Varian asked, his soft blue eyes glancing over his freckled shoulder as he pulled his pants up, his hair an absolute mess, but he still looked like a fucking angel. 

“No.” Hugo said, a soft smile on his lips, his eyes raking over what was left of Varian’s exposed body. He wished he could see his reaction properly, but he swore he saw a faint blush dust his cheeks as he turned back around. “Have you seen-“ 

“Your glasses.” Varian finished, handing Hugo his glasses and placing a small kiss to his forehead. Hugo smiled wider,  _ fucking hell,  _ he was lucky. Could Varian get any more perfect? 

Hugo reached up, cupping Varian’s face, the other flashing a goofy lopsided grin as he leaned into the touch. “Thank you.” Hugo said softly, pulling Varian into a soft kiss. He craned his neck up, his lips moving gently against Varian’s, scooting closer to the edge of the bed, Varian’s hands planted firmly on the mattress as he leaned down. Hugo ran his tongue over Varian’s teeth, asking for entrance to his mouth. Varian complied with a laugh, allowing Hugo to deepen the kiss, rocking forward a bit. Hugo’s hand quickly found the back of Varian’s neck, fully intending to pull him back into bed and ignore the rest of the world. They more than deserved it after the past few days. 

Varian pulled away, nibbling at Hugo’s bottom lip as he went. “You should get dressed.” 

Hugo groaned, flopping back down. Varian was right of course, it was going to be another exhausting day with his upcoming conversation with Donella and Varian, the day was sure to be anything but peaceful. That didn’t mean he couldn’t make the most of the morning. Varian had turned around again as he pulled his shirt over his head. Hugo couldn’t help but chuckle at that as he started to dress himself, of course Varian would still have some sense of modesty even after they had sex last night. He watched him for a moment, Varian’s fingers gently running over the various, dust covered trinkets that lined the shelves before deeming one worth further inspection and picking it up, turning it over in his hands. Hugo softly padded across the small room, wrapping his arms around Varian’s middle, rubbing circles on his stomach as he placed kisses down his neck. “How’re you feeling?” 

“Sore.” Varian answered, leaning back against Hugo slightly. “But good. You?” 

“Same. That was a hell of a fight, huh, sweet cheeks?” Hugo teased, finally getting a look at what Varian had in his hands, a wave of nostalgia hitting him. 

“Did you make this?” Varian asked, his fingertips lightly grazing over the rusted metal and gears of the small mechanical mouse. 

“Yeah, I could never get the mechanics to work though. Could never find the right pieces.” Hugo said, this time placing a kiss to Varian’s cheek. 

“Well, I think she’s beautiful. I could take a look, I think if I adjust a few things I should be able to get her up and running.” Varian said, turning in Hugo’s grip. Hugo’s heart fluttered in his chest, his head tilting slightly to the side. No one had offered that before, not Nuru, and definitely not Donella. He had asked Don once her response had simply been that if he couldn’t figure it out by himself he didn’t deserve to have it. And yet here Varian was offering out of the kindness of his heart, it threw him for a loop. He realized he’d gone too long without an answer when Varian’s face flushed red, quickly shoving the mouse into Hugo’s hand. “I mean- I don’t have to- if you want I could-“ 

Hugo cut off Varian’s rambling with a quick kiss to his lips, putting his old friend back on the shelf. “I’d love that, but some other time. Something tells me we’ve got a hell of a day ahead of us.” 

“Yeah.” Varian said softly, his eyes dropping to the floor, his fingers digging a bit into Hugo’s upper arms like he was scared of letting go. “I still owe you an explanation, don’t I?” 

“And so do I.” Hugo said, gently lifting Varian’s chin. His heart ached at the beginnings of tears glistening in Varian’s eyes. Hugo smoothed Varian’s hair back, placing a kiss to his forehead, his nose, his cheeks. “Don’t worry about it. Whatever you say, whatever you’ve done, we’ll be okay, we’ll figure it out.” 

“I don’t want to lose you.” Varian said, burying his face in Hugo’s shoulder. Hugo held him close, his arms shaking slightly as he placed another kiss into Varian’s hair. He swallowed past the lump forming in his throat, nothing Varian had hidden in his past, nothing he said or did could be worse than what he had. 

“You won’t.” Hugo said simply. His heart hammered in his chest, he should just get it over with, he should just tell him the truth, they could move on. Varian  _ had  _ said  _ nothing  _ could make him stop falling for him. Hugo took a deep breath, pulling back slightly so he could look Varian in the eyes. He cupped Varian’s face, taking a moment to memorize each little detail of it in case this was the last time he got to, each freckle, each curve, the feel of his skin, the exact shade of his eyes,  _ everything.  _ “Varian-“ 

Three soft knocks sounded from the door, followed by two louder ones. Hugo sighed, pressing his forehead against Varian’s, he’d recognize Cyrus’s knock anywhere. Looks like this conversation would have to be put on hold  _ again.  _ “I have to go talk to the captain now, but as soon as I get back we’re going to have that conversation.” 

“Hugo-“ Hugo pulled Varian in for a kiss, quick and passionate. He broke it before he wouldn’t be able to. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Hugo said, Varian grabbing his wrist before he could open the door. 

“Wait, I’m coming with you.” Varian said, his eyes set with determination. He wouldn’t back down easily, but Hugo knew if Varian was there it would just make his conversation with Donella worse.  _ Especially  _ once he got to the part about Ulla. 

“No, you can’t. I  _ need  _ you to stay here.” Hugo said, his eyes pleading with the shorter, but he was just as stubborn as ever. 

“I’m- I’m not letting you do this alone. All of this was my fault, if I can just explain-“

“You can’t.” 

“Like hell I can.” Varian shot back, putting himself between Hugo and the door. Another knock came from the door, Cyrus was getting impatient. 

“No, Varian, you really can’t. She’s- just trust me on this,  _ please.  _ You need to stay here.” Hugo pleaded, placing his hands on Varian's shoulders. 

Varian deflated, the fight leaving him just as quickly as it had come. He was likely as emotionally exhausted as Hugo if not more. “Okay. I trust you.” 

“I’ll be back soon.” Hugo reassured, pecking Varian’s lips and moving him away from the door. His heart hurt a bit at the look on Varian’s face, his eyes wide, hurt, his mouth in a thin line. He looked hurt, his hand rubbing at his arm, his eyes downcast. He opened the door and headed out before he could change his mind and run back to Varian or tell him he could come. 

_ “Everything alright? Took you awhile.”  _ Cyrus asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. 

“Yeah. I think it will be.” Hugo answered, absentmindedly moving his hands in the proper motions. 

_ “Good. Donella’s pissed, she was expecting you earlier.”  _ Cyrus said, the frustration clear on his face. He must’ve gotten an earful from her already.

“Good for her.” Hugo said, rolling his eyes as they finally moved away from the door. 

Cyrus froze for a second, his lips pursed as he contemplated something before holding up a small key.  _ “Should I lock it?”  _

This time Hugo froze, eyeing the door. He remembered all the times Donella had locked him in his room, some had been more traumatizing than others. He felt sick doing the same to Varian, but he really,  _ really,  _ couldn't risk him barging in on his conversation with Don. Varian had said he trusted him and by locking Varian inside he was pretty much telling the younger that he didn’t. It was just another thing to add to the list of things he had to apologize for, the things he had to explain. At this point he could write a whole goddamn  _ novel.  _ He hated himself for his answer, the hand motion simple and concise.  _ “Yes.”  _

Hugo held his head up high as he started to move away, the soft click of the lock reaching his ears. He knew Varian had to have heard it, he knew how loud it sounded on the other side of the door. And sure enough by the time Cyrus joined him he could hear the jiggle of the doorknob, the knock on the door, and Varian’s muffled cry. “What the  _ fuck?!  _ Hugo!” 

Hugo kept walking, trying not to let it bother him. Right now he needed to focus on what he was going to say to Donella. How he could convince her to let Varian stay, how he would plead his case, and if everything went well, he could hopefully get his own ship again. Cyrus chuckled next to him. 

_ “You sure know how to pick them.”  _

_ “I’m so glad you approve.”  _ Hugo rolled his eyes, paying no mind to the looks the crew sent his way. It felt like a walk of shame and perhaps in some ways it was. He’d lost his own crew, he failed his mission, he’d needed Donella to come and save him. He’d failed so drastically in their eyes he couldn’t really blame them, but as far as they knew, as far as  _ he  _ knew he was still in Donella’s favor so they didn’t dare say anything. 

_ “He’ll be good for you. You need someone that’s not afraid to give you a nice kick in the ass.”  _ Cyrus said, laughing as Hugo flipped him off. It faded as they approached Donella’s door, Cyrus placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and giving it a light squeeze.  _ “Good luck.”  _

_ “Thank you.”  _ Hugo took a deep breath, not bothering to knock before swinging the door open. 

*****************************

Varian pounded on the door. What the  _ fuck _ had happened? They had a  _ good  _ morning, they had an  _ amazing  _ night, they seemed like they were actually on the road to developing and working past all their shit, and then Hugo goes and fucking does  _ this.  _ “What the fuck! You fucking  _ asshole!  _ Get your ass back here! Hugo!” 

Varian kicked the door, which in hindsight was not a good idea given that he was barefoot. He yelped, grabbing his foot and flopping back down on the bed.  _ “Fuck.”  _

Varian sighed, staring up at the ceiling. He hated this, he hated it so much. He hurt more than he’d let on, his fingers ached, a phantom burn ever present in the tips, his arm from where he’d been shot throbbed, his chest hurt the most, he was fairly certain something was at the very least bruised, and he was sore from their more  _ intimate  _ activities. But his heart hurt more than any of that. He supposed he couldn’t blame Hugo for not trusting him, he  _ had  _ broken his heart the last time he trusted him, and he couldn’t expect a half assed apology and a good fuck to fix that. They probably shouldn’t have slept together at all, but it had felt  _ right.  _ And after everything that had happened it felt like the right next step to take. It had felt wonderful waking up next to Hugo, wonderful and terrifying for some reason. Maybe it was the rightness of it all, how whole and complete Hugo made him feel, how it felt like they were  _ made  _ for each other. How he knew no one else would  _ ever  _ make him feel the same. 

It had been hell to get here, so many people had been hurt, Caine was dead, Nuru was injured, Yong apparently left his family again, and he had- he felt sick just thinking about Cassandra. It scared him, how his heart fluttered with excitement as he thought back on those moments, the thrill of the fight, the  _ power  _ of hurting someone like that. He’d left scars they’d never be able to forget. He didn’t  _ want  _ to feel that way, but there was still a  _ thrum  _ in his fingertips as he itched for the thrill of battle again. Something in the back of mind screamed at him that he’d felt it before, he’d been just as terrified then, and same as before there had been a pair of wide green eyes staring back at him. He curled in on himself, a few tears slipping past his lashes. Why did he feel this way? He shouldn’t be happy about causing people pain, he shouldn’t long to do it again. He was so fucking terrified of these feelings. What the fuck was  _ wrong  _ with him? 

The room seemed smaller, almost like it was shrinking. His breath rattled in his chest as he hugged his arms. He wanted his old life back, he wanted the new one he’d fought so hard for, he wanted his dad, he wanted Rapunzel, he wanted  _ Hugo.  _ He wanted all of it and he wanted nothing at the same time. There were too many thoughts in his head, too many conflicting emotions, all of it terrifying. But there wasn’t enough space for them anymore. It was too small, his head, his heart, he didn’t know anymore,  _ everything was too small.  _ He needed to get out, he needed to breathe, he needed to clear his head. He pushed himself to his feet again, not bothering to wipe away his tears, his hands shaking as he tried the door again to no avail. He needed- he couldn’t-  _ not again.  _ Varian sunk to his knees, one hand on the doorknob, the other clamped over his mouth in a vain attempt at suppressing a sob. After  _ everything _ he was still just a prisoner. 

_ “Hey kid.” Varian jumped, his head hitting the underside of the machine he was currently working on at the sound of Eugene’s voice. “Whatcha working on?”  _

_ “Do you ever knock?” Varian groaned, rubbing his sore forehead as he pushed himself out from underneath the machine, Eugene halfway through the window.  _

_ “Oh, sorry. Old habits die hard, I guess.” Eugene said with a chuckle. He at least had the decency to look embarrassed. It faded as quickly as it came. “So, that’s a nice chair?”  _

_ Varian rolled his eyes, wiping some sweat from his brow effectively smearing grease across it instead. “Well you’re not  _ **_wrong.”_ ** _ Varian pursed his lips as he looked at the blueprints. “Some noble over in Equis came up with this idea that supposedly helps convert criminals using shock therapy.”  _

_ “Yeesh. And that’s-“ Eugene looked pale, his hand flying to his throat.  _

_ “Yup.”  _

_ “That’s- well, there’s gotta be a better way than  _ **_that.”_ **

_ Varian frowned, stroking his chin, spreading more grease across it as he sat in the chair. Eugene let out a light chuckle. “The science is hardly sound, but dad asked if I could build it.” He lowered his head, suddenly wishing he had said no, that he’d fought his dad harder on the subject. It wouldn’t work, it would only do more harm than good. “That’s all he cared about. He didn’t care about anything I said.”  _

_ Varian flinched as Eugene placed a hand on his shoulder. “Then you’ve done everything you can. Your father isn’t exactly the most caring man.” His tone was light like it was supposed to be a joke, but for some reason it hurt more, probably because it was true. “Hey, why don’t I teach you a very important life lesson?”  _

_ “And what’s that?” Varian asked, tilting his head as he looked up at Eugene, the older man’s grin wide, his eyes glistening with excitement.  _

_ “I’m going to teach you how to pick a lock.”  _

Varian took a shaky breath. He needed to pull himself together so he could get the fuck out of this terribly small room and find a proper spot to  _ think.  _ He fumbled with the items on Hugo’s desk, grabbing anything that might help before settling back in front of the door. He made quick work of the lock, the various other tools between his lips as his hands worked until finally there was a soft click. Varian let out a sigh of relief, pressing his forehead against the wood of the door. He should stay, he should wait for Hugo to come back like he said he would. If he left it just proved that Hugo had a reason to lock him in. He should stay,  _ he should stay,  _ but everything inside him was screaming at him to run, to get out, he needed to  _ get out.  _

_ He didn’t know how much time he had. Rapunzel was coming, she had to be. He needed to be gone before she got there. He needed to move. He needed to get out. He couldn’t  _ **_be_ ** _ here. He couldn’t-  _

Varian swung open the door, the outside a stark contrast to the inside of the room. The corridor was bustling, people moving every which way around the kitchen. If he had to guess Hugo’s room had previously been a storage closet, most likely for food given the proximity to the kitchen. No one paid him much mind as they continued about their duties, some cooking, some drinking, some eating. The air smelled heavy of food and rum, Varian’s stomach growling as the smell hit him. He ignored it, the room may have been too quiet, but  _ this  _ was too fucking overwhelming. He quickly picked a direction and started running. He needed to find somewhere that was quiet, but he wasn’t alone. Then he could think, then he could sort through all his emotions. If he could find Nuru and Yong that would be ideal. He could check on both of them, but he didn’t know a damn thing about the layout of this ship. And not only was it much larger than Hugo’s it was a hell of a lot busier too. He probably should’ve stopped and asked someone for directions, it made the most sense, but his mind was too much of a mess for him to think clearly, so he continued running. 

His lungs ached, the wood of the ship digging uncomfortably into his feet as he cleared a set of stairs, finally coming up onto the deck. The sea air was refreshing, more grounding than the various aromas in the kitchen. It was still just as busy but it was definitely an improvement. Now he just needed to find a place where he could relax and clear his head and wait for Hu- 

Varian yelped as a hand touched his shoulder. He spun on his heel, really wishing he’d taken the time to put on his shoes before running out. He vaguely recognized the tall, muscular man from Hugo’s ship, and from the battle, but if he survived the mutiny did that mean the others were here as well? He could feel his panic start to rise again, the man in front of him moving his hands in those little motions he’d seen before. 

“I- I don’t know what you’re saying.” Varian said, taking a cautious step back. He didn’t know if he was yelling, or angry, or something else, and it put him on edge. The man, Cyrus if he remembered correctly, reached forward grabbing Varian’s wrist. Varian instinctively tried to pull away, but Cyrus’s grip was too strong. “I-”

Cyrus held a finger to his lips, gently turning Varian’s hand over in his grip and opening his palm. Cyrus ran his finger over Varian’s outstretched palm, Varian furrowing his eyebrows as he watched the movements closely. It didn’t take him long to realize that the older man was spelling something out. His movements were slow, making sure Varian could catch each letter as he spelled. He paused for a moment before repeating the letters, spelling over and over until Varian responded. 

“Go back?” Varian asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he waited for Cyrus to confirm or deny. The man nodded his head only for Varian to shake his. “I’m  _ not _ going back to that room.” Varian said, his tone short and clipped, staring up at the man defiantly, his eyes narrowing into a glare. He was sure he looked absolutely menacing with his pout and tear stained cheeks. He pulled his arm back again, Cyrus’s grip not budging. It was strong but it wasn’t painful. 

Cyrus frowned, drawing on Varian’s hand again. One letter this time, but it was all he needed to understand the question.  _ “Why?”  _

Varian took a step back, Cyrus letting him go, taken a bit aback by the question. He had expected to be dragged back to Hugo’s room kicking and screaming. He didn’t expect  _ this.  _ How was he supposed to answer that question when he wasn’t sure himself? So he just answered with what he did know. “I, uh, I wanted somewhere quiet to think.” 

Cyrus quirked an eyebrow. Varian mentally scolded himself. It was a stupid answer, the room had been quiet, the problem was that it was  _ too  _ quiet. And he didn’t want to be alone, not with those strange memories or feelings that kept popping up.

“I don’t want to be alone.” Varian admitted softly, his voice almost lost amongst the hustle and bustle of the ship as he dropped his gaze to the ground. Cyrus hooked a finger under Varian’s chin, lifting his face. Varian’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment, he was so fucking stupid, Cyrus probably couldn’t understand what he was saying without reading his lips. Varian repeated his words, this time making sure Cyrus could see him. “I don’t want to be alone. Could you- can you take me to where Yong and Nuru are?” 

Cyrus shook his head, pressing his hands together and leaning his head on them. Of course they were still asleep. It had been just as long a day for them, and Nuru needed all the rest she could get right now. “Right, sorry.” Varian mumbled, sighing as he glanced around the ship. Maybe he should just go back to Hugo’s room, this whole thing was just an overreaction, surely going back now wouldn’t be as bad. He knew it would be. All these thoughts, feelings, memories, his upcoming conversation with Hugo, it was all too much. He wouldn’t be able to say  _ enough.  _ What if Hugo couldn’t handle it? What if his reasonings weren’t good enough? What if  _ he  _ wasn’t good enough? What if Hugo left him? He needed to go back, he needed to show Hugo he could trust him. Despite the dread that settled in his chest he met Cyrus’s gaze again. “Can-“ 

Cyrus took his wrist again, pulling him along as he led him to wherever they were going. They stopped in the center of the ship, Cyrus pointing up. Varian tilted his head to the side, not quite understanding what the older was trying to say. “I don’t-“

Cyrus pointed up again, taking Varian’s hand and writing again.  _ “Quiet.” _

Varian glanced up again, using his free hand to block the sun as best he could, spotting the crow’s nest above. He brought his attention back to Cyrus as he continued writing. 

_ “Quiet, not  _ **_too_ ** _ quiet.”  _

Varian smiled at the older man, feeling his eyes start to fill with tears again as relief washed over him. He’d technically be alone up there, but the noise from down below should keep him from spiraling again. He launched himself at Cyrus wrapping him in a tight hug. “Thank you.” He whispered, even though he knew he couldn’t hear him. Varian pulled back from the hug. “How do I say thank you?”

Cyrus blinked, a small smile working its way onto his face. He moved his hands slowly, Varian copying his movements as best he could. He let out a light laugh as Varian fumbled through the movements, gently reaching out and guiding his hands into the proper movements, nodding as soon as he was satisfied with Varian’s motions. 

Varian smiled up at him, signing the words a few more times on his own.  _ “Thank you. Thank you.” _

Varian stared up at the mast in front of him. It was definitely taller than anything he’d climbed when he was growing up. He was never particularly afraid of heights, then again he’d never been that  _ high  _ before. He could still change his mind and go back to the room, but he knew he wouldn’t, he couldn’t. He took a deep breath before gripping the rungs. It was just like climbing the trees back in Old Corona, granted it was probably easier even though the height made it look more menacing, just one foot at a time. He’d be there in no time. Varian pulled himself up, steadily making his way up the ladder. One foot up, one hand up, easy, don’t slip, don’t look down,  _ easy _ . 

_ “Come on, Var! Hurry up!” Rapunzel laughed, swinging upside down from the tree branch, her brunette hair blocking most of her face.  _

_ “I’m coming!” Varian shouted back, his face set in determination as his small hands gripped onto the tree, his tongue sticking out in concentration. He didn’t make it far before falling back down to the ground, a small  _ **_‘oof’_ ** _ escaping from his lips as he landed in the dirt. Rapunzel laughed harder. Varian narrowed his eyes at her, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes. He tried again, and again, and again, using every bit of strength his eight year old body had.  _

_ “You almost had it that time!” Rapunzel giggled, her tone more mocking than encouraging.  _

_ “Shut up!” Varian huffed, glaring up at the princess as she bounced on her branch.  _

_ “No- no I’m serious.” She burst into more giggles, doubling over briefly before she continued her jumping. One, two, three-  _ **_snap._ **

Varian’s foot slipped. He scrambled to find purchase, trying his best to remain calm enough to find the rung he’d missed. He glanced down, it was a mistake,  _ fucking hell it was a mistake.  _ When the fuck had he gotten so high? The world swam below him, spinning, shifting, morphing. He screwed his eyes shut, blindly finding the rung again. Only once he felt secure did he open his eyes again, but this time he knew better than to look down. He took a shaky breath before continuing his trek. It didn’t take him much longer to get to the top, pulling himself into the crow’s nest and making his way as far from the opening as possible. 

Varian froze, his breath catching in his throat as he took in the view. It was  _ breathtaking.  _ It was  _ perfect.  _ The soft blue of the sky mixed with the dark inky depths of the ocean, the wind blowing through his hair, the spray of the ocean mist coating his skin. He could still hear the hustle and bustle of the crew below, but there was a certain serenity up here that he didn’t have before. It wasn’t too high up where the noise didn’t reach him so he didn’t feel so alone, but it was secluded enough where he could properly think. It really was perfect. He’d have to thank Cyrus whenever he saw him again. He closed his eyes, a soft smile on his face as he lost himself in the feeling of the sea, the soft mist, the salty smell. 

Whatever happened next, whatever came their way, they’d figure it out  _ together.  _ His memories were still a mystery, those awful feelings of excitement in battle, the way he’d pushed Hugo away, they’d work through it all. And he knew they’d be okay, they’d be better,  _ stronger.  _ Because even after all he had said, all he had done, Hugo  _ still  _ decided to come after him. And he did it not for himself, but for  _ Varian,  _ because he  _ loved  _ him, he had  _ chosen _ him. Hugo  _ loved  _ **_him._ ** The thought made him absolutely giddy. And finally Varian opened his eyes, laughing into the sky. 

****************************************

Donella looked fucking pissed. Even more so than when he’d first told her about taking Varian captive. At least then she understood the profit they might gain, she saw Hugo’s reasonings, she saw his logic. Now there was no logic, there was no profit, the only reasoning being that he loved Varian.  _ Fuck,  _ what a strange thought. He never would’ve thought that he’d fall in love, it wasn’t part of the plan, it wasn’t something he saw for himself. But  _ fuck,  _ he was in  _ love  _ with  _ Varian.  _ He smiled at the thought, his heart soaring, he felt lighter, whole,  _ complete.  _ He was dragged harshly back to reality at the sound of Donella’s voice. 

“Satisfied with yourself?” Donella asked, leaning against her desk, various maps and papers spread about it, her worn leather chair sitting behind it, the fireplace off to the side roaring as the flames burned the wood they sat on. 

Hugo slowly dragged his eyes up to Donella’s face, a coin twirling between her fingers, her expression smooth except the small twitch of her nose that told him she was  _ beyond  _ pissed. But he refused to back down, not on this. “Quite.” 

“I’m so glad you think  _ a good fuck  _ was worth losing all of our profit from Corona, an attack on Equis, losing our  _ profit  _ from Equis, losing one of  _ my  _ best ships,  _ and  _ getting Corona’s Royal Navy on our asses! Not including the countless lives we’ve lost all so  _ you  _ could get  _ fucking laid!”  _ Donella scolded, slamming her coin down on the desk, pushing herself forward slightly. 

Hugo clenched his jaw. It would do him no good to argue, she wouldn’t be happy with his answer anyways, it wasn’t  _ acceptable.  _ He shouldn’t argue he should just agree with her and plead his case for Varian to stay. He shouldn’t argue,  _ he shouldn’t-  _ “It’s not like that!  _ Varian  _ is more than that! I  _ know  _ I fucked shit up, but  _ none  _ of that is Varian’s fault!” 

“Isn’t it?” Donella sneered, her upper lip curling slightly.  _ “Everything  _ that happened was because of  _ that boy!  _ Everything except the mutiny, that was your own damn fault.” 

Hugo tried not to let the words sting. She was right, it was his fault, but he wouldn’t let Varian be dragged down with him. _ He  _ deserved respect. “His name is-“ 

“I don’t give a  _ fuck  _ what his name is, he walks the plank at dusk. Your little fucktoy has caused more than enough problems. Detain him until it’s time.” Donella said, turning around to rifle through her papers, disregarding Hugo completely. She didn’t care about what he had to say, she didn’t care about how he  _ felt,  _ he was as disposable as anyone else on the ship. It fucking  _ hurt.  _

“If he walks the plank so do I.” Hugo said, his fists clenched at his sides, his head held high. He couldn’t show a moment of weakness, he couldn’t let her know how much her words had hurt. He needed to stay strong, he couldn’t budge or else she’d get what she wanted. 

Donella laughed, she fucking  _ laughed.  _ “Don’t be so dramatic. Once he’s gone things will go back to normal and you’ll be over it in a week. I’ll even set you up with another ship-“ 

“You think you can replace him with a  _ ship?!”  _ Hugo took a step back, staring in awe at his mentor, his captain, the person he had always looked up to. Was he that bad? Had he been that way before Varian? He knew the answer and he  _ hated  _ it. “You can’t fucking do that! He-“ 

Donella spun around, her white braid whipping through the air. “I can do whatever the fuck I like! I’m the captain, I  _ let  _ you serve on my ship,  _ I  _ owe  _ you  _ nothing. If you want to throw your life away for some  _ whore-“  _

“Don’t fucking call him that! He’s-” Hugo cut himself off, his eyes meeting Donella’s. He didn’t let himself waver, he knew he needed to stand his ground, she needed to know he wasn’t going to back down, not when it came to Varian, not when it came to those he cared about. He was going to stop being so fucking selfish and put others first. And that started with convincing Don to let Varian stay,  _ with him.  _ “I love him.”

Donella looked shocked for a moment, her mouth opening and shutting again as she processed the information. It didn’t take more than a second for her features to smooth again, the anger returning with it. “You love the way your dick feels in his ass, that’s it. Whatever little fantasy you’ve conjured means nothing. He won’t stay, not once he sees you for what you really are.” 

“No, he  _ won’t _ . We’ve both fucked up, neither of us are perfect, but we love each other, and that’s all we need. Wherever he goes, whatever you decide to do, I’m going with  _ him.”  _ Hugo said, not wavering in the slightest. He didn’t let her see his inner battle of what he’d  _ actually  _ do if worse came to worse and she wouldn’t allow Varian to stay. He’d have to decide if he wanted to lose Varian or leave behind the only home he had. It was a terrifying thought, but he knew his answer, he knew he couldn’t live without Varian. He’d felt so  _ broken  _ when he thought he lost him, he couldn’t go through that again. He didn’t want  _ Varian  _ to go through that again. 

“You really care about him that much?” Donella asked, a strange look crossing her face, something he couldn’t read, but this time it stayed. 

“Yeah, I do. He’s smart, but like really fucking stupid. He’s the kindest person I’ve ever met, but he’s got an attitude like no other. He’s so selfless, but he doesn’t see his own value. He’s just- I love him, I really fucking do.” Hugo smiled softly as he spoke, the words falling naturally off his tongue, they felt  _ right.  _ He was head over heels in love. He was on cloud nine and he didn’t want to come down. 

“One month.” Donella said suddenly, that strange look still on her face, it almost looked nostalgic. Hugo blinked at her response, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t that. “One month, and if he doesn’t prove his worth to this crew then  _ both  _ of you leave.” 

Hugo sucked in a deep breath, nodding his head. It was going to be rough, a month was nowhere near enough time to get Varian up to Donella’s standards. Hell, it took Nuru a  _ year.  _ He just prayed Varian had inherited Ulla’s seafaring ways. Regardless, a month gave him enough time to come up with a back up plan should Varian fail Donella’s evaluation. 

“Don’t make me regret this.” Donella sighed, bringing Hugo’s attention back to her as she approached. She gently turned him around, her fingers combing through his hair, undoing the knots that he’d acquired overnight. He leaned into the touch, his eyes slipping closed as she worked. “Love…. isn’t easy. It’s more than pretty words, it’s hard work.” She parted a section of his hair, her fingers working deftly to make a small braid on either side of his head. It almost reminded him of when she’d do his hair as a child. Her next words were so softly spoken that he almost didn’t catch them. “Just be careful who you give your heart to, I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Hugo stiffened slightly, they never really talked about their feelings, not with each other. This whole conversation had been strange, especially his confession, but for some reason Donella’s last words hit him the hardest. He  _ knew  _ he loved Varian, he didn’t know that Donella cared that much. Sure he’d always gotten special treatment but he had assumed it was because he was to take over for her one day, he’d never looked deeper, he’d buried his own thoughts on the subject. He wanted to say something, he felt like he  _ should.  _ A lump caught in his throat, he wanted to return the sentiment, he really did, but he still needed to process it on his own. Donella actually cared about him, it was everything his nine year old self wanted, but everything his current self told him he couldn’t trust. He pushed the feelings away, he’d deal with them later, right now he had other things to focus on.

“I’m not afraid of getting hurt. I don’t want to hurt him.” Hugo said, turning to face Donella again as she finished tying up his hair. He pulled the bracelet from his pocket, it had been a heavier weight than usual, he didn’t know if it was something they could recover from. Donella would know what to do, she had too. “I- I killed his dad. He doesn’t know, but- I don’t know what to do.” 

Whatever softness that was previously there disappeared from her features, smoothing back into the more neutral look he was familiar with. She placed her hand on top of his, covering the bracelet from view. “Don’t worry about it,  _ forget  _ about it. I’ll take care of this and he never has to know.” 

Hugo simply nodded, letting her take the bracelet and throw it into the roaring fire, the flames licking at the metal, the stone cracking from the heat. He could feel the weight being lifted off his shoulders, it was one less thing he had to worry about. Even if someone tried to out him, even if someone else  _ knew,  _ it was his word against theirs, and he knew Varian would believe him. 

“Now go and get something to eat. I expect you and your whor-  _ whatever he is,  _ back here by dusk to go over expectations.” Donella instructed, returning to her desk and not sparing Hugo another glance. 

“Thank you.” Hugo said softly over his shoulder, not bothering to wait for a response before heading out the door. He felt lighter, better, now that one conversation was over all he had to do was focus on Varian, most likely a very  _ pissed off  _ Varian. Honestly he didn’t care what kind of mood he went back to, the point was he was going back to  _ Varian,  _ and as long as he got to be with him he was happy. He was almost to the staircase that led to his room when he felt a tap on his shoulder. 

_ “He’s not there.”  _ Cyrus said as Hugo turned to face him. 

“You let him out?” Hugo asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. He should’ve known better than to trust Cyrus with the key, he always was a big softy. 

_ “No. Did you know your boy knows how to lock pick?”  _ Cyrus said, the corners of his lips turning up slightly in a mocking grin. Hugo rolled his eyes, the fucking smug bastard. But no, he didn’t know Varian knew how to pick a lock, which honestly raised a few questions. Why didn’t he just do that when they were trapped in Equis? Why did he seem so impressed when Hugo picked the locks off their cuffs? Maybe it had to do with that chunk of time Varian was missing from memories? Maybe he was starting to remember. That was still very concerning to Hugo, but Varian had been so nonchalant about it he’d let it slip to the back of his mind, but now that they were going to clear the air maybe it was the proper time to address it. 

“Where is he?” Hugo asked, hoping that he’d found Nuru and Yong, scratch that, Nuru would probably beat his ass for locking Varian in the room in the first place. Wherever he was he hoped it was quiet, and he hadn’t gotten himself in trouble. He highly doubted he could get Varian to come back to his room anytime soon, but they still needed to talk and he’d prefer to have it out of the way before they had to see Donella. 

Cyrus didn’t answer with words, he simply turned Hugo around and pointed up. Hugo groaned, of course that’s where Varian would be, the one place he loathed with a passion.  _ “Thanks.”  _ Hugo said, and given by the way Cyrus snickered he could detect the sarcasm. 

Hugo grimaced as he approached the ladder, it was going to be hell to climb with his injured shoulder and hand, but he’d manage. He briefly wondered if he yelled for him Varian would just come down. He knew the only thing he’d get is a boot to the face. The climb wasn’t too bad, every step he got further and further from the safety of the deck, he’d climbed much higher before, still he didn’t let himself look down. He wasn’t  _ scared  _ of height per say, he just hated them so fucking much. There was something about being so high up that made him feel vulnerable, maybe it was how he knew if he fell he’d have no control over what happened to him. He supposed it was similar to falling in love. He had no control over what happened, no control over how he felt, no control over how  _ Varian  _ felt, but goddamn it he’d leap over and over again if it meant he could have him for even a moment. 

Hugo pulled himself into the crows nest, his heart stopping as he spotted Varian. He looked so peaceful, his face turned to the sky, standing on his tiptoes, his arms straight as he braced himself on the railing. He leaned forward ever so slightly, the softest upturn of his lips. Hugo committed the image to memory, his own smile returning. The soft curves of Varian’s face, the sharp point of his nose, the way his freckles seemed larger due to the mist that dusted his skin, the glittering of water on his eyelashes and hair, he was so fucking  _ beautiful.  _

“You’re a fucking jackass.” Varian said, shooting Hugo a glare out of the corner of his eye as he lowered himself to stand properly, the peaceful look on his face gone, his eyebrows furrowing. Hugo hated how guilty that made him feel, that he was the reason Varian went from happy to troubled. Varian sighed, leaning against the railing, resting on his forearms. “I get it- I get that you don’t trust me. I hurt you, it’s only fair that you-“ 

_ “Don’t.”  _ Hugo said, taking Varian’s hand. Who the fuck hurt Varian this way, that he thought he’d want payback? Varian turned to look at him, eyes wide, questioning. “That’s not what this is. It wasn’t to get back at you for hurting me. I- I did it because I know you’d barge in there with your self sacrificing  _ bullshit,  _ and take the blame for everything. It’s not you I didn’t trust, it was  _ her.  _ She wouldn’t have given you the chance to explain. But you’re  _ not  _ to blame, this isn’t your fault. I want you to know that.” 

“But it  _ is  _ my fault.” Varian said, pulling his hand away from Hugo, taking the smallest step away from him. “ _ Everything  _ is my fault. If I had just stayed with my dad he’d still be alive-“ 

“You don’t know that.” Hugo said, pretending the words didn’t sting. He didn’t know if they were both there if he would’ve killed Varian too. 

“-if I had listened in Equis we wouldn’t have been caught-“

“We wouldn’t have met Yong, he wouldn’t have been brought back to his family.” 

“-if I had  _ talked  _ to you and  _ told  _ you about leaving I- Caine wouldn’t be dead-“ 

“That was  _ her  _ choice, she didn’t have to come with.” 

“-you wouldn’t be hurt,  _ Nuru  _ wouldn’t be hurt-“ 

“ _ Our  _ choices, we couldn’t lose you.” 

“-I- Cass’s hand-“ 

“You did what you had to, you did it to  _ protect  _ me.”

“You don’t  _ fucking  _ get it! You don’t get it.” Varian was spiraling, Hugo could see it in the way Varian’s eyes filled with tears, his hands shaking, the slight crack in his voice. Hugo reached out to him, Varian took a step back. “When I said those things to you, I  _ wanted  _ to hurt you. I wanted to make sure you didn’t come after me. I was so scared of losing you I thought it was better to hurt you. It hurt, but I did it. But when- with Cassandra, I wanted to  _ hurt  _ her, it felt  _ good.  _ I’m scared that- if that’s who I am- I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to hurt you, not again.” 

Hugo didn’t give him time to back up again, not that he had anywhere to go at this point, and pulled Varian into a hug, one hand resting on the back of Varian’s head as he placed a shaky kiss into his hair, his own tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. He blinked them away the best he could, a few falling into Varian’s hair. “That’s  _ not  _ you. You won’t hurt me again, just like I’m not going to hurt you. I’ve done a hell of a lot worse shit then you have, hell I hurt  _ you _ a lot more. Everything you’ve been through has been because of me. Your words stung because they’re  _ true.  _ I’m a selfish asshole, but I’m working on it because- because I love you. Whatever you’re feeling, whatever happened in your past, we’ll figure it out together, we’ll work out our shit  _ together.  _ I’m not going to let you go so easily again. I love you, I love you so fucking much.” 

Hugo felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest as Varian stiffened against him, his fingers digging into the fabric of Hugo’s shirt. What if he didn’t return the sentiment? What if he’d misread how Varian felt and he didn’t actually love him? Varian pulled away slowly, looking up at Hugo with the biggest smile on his tear stained face. 

“You mean that?” Varian asked, moving up onto his tiptoes so he could press their foreheads together, his hands cupping Hugo’s face, gently wiping away the few tears Hugo hadn’t even noticed fell. 

Hugo nodded, a small laugh escaping his lips. “I do, with everything that I am or  _ ever  _ will be. I love you, Varian, to the end of this world and all others.” 

“I love you too.” Varian said with a laugh of his own, quickly pecking Hugo’s lips as his own tears finally fell. “To the end of this world and all others.” 

Hugo claimed Varian’s lips, moving his gently against them. Hugo pulled Varian closer, one hand on the small of his back, the other on the back of his neck, weaving his fingers through his hair. Varian let out a little squeak at the movement, but he didn’t complain, Hugo smiling against his lips. Varian let out a content hum as Hugo deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring Varian’s mouth. Varian swirled his tongue around Hugo’s, smiling as Hugo pressed him up against the mast. Hugo fully intended to devour him then and there, but small droplets of rain stopped him. He reluctantly pulled away, staring up at the clear sky as the soft drizzle settled in. It was strangely calming, cleansing almost, like all of their past problems were being washed away, their mistakes gone, they we’re starting new, fresh, and Hugo couldn’t be happier. 

“We should head down before it gets worse. Besides I want to get something to eat before these scumbags get all the good shit. Plus the captain wants to speak to both of us later.” Hugo said, kissing the back of Varian’s hand gently. Varian used the opportunity to pull Hugo close to him again, that peaceful look returning to his face. 

“We can stay a little longer.” Varian said, and Hugo nodded, Varian eagerly claiming his lips once again. The rest of the world melted away. It was just the two of them, the rain, and a fresh start. 

************************

The fire had long since died, but Donella couldn’t tear her eyes away from it, or more specifically the glint of gold against the cinders. Hugo was in  _ love.  _ It was a dangerous concept. One she probably should have expected sooner or later, but he’d seemed so content with the occasional slut she hadn’t thought it a real possibility. And now here she was backed into a corner because Hugo had caught feelings. She was certain it wouldn’t last long, he was simply love struck for the moment. Something that boy did obviously caught his attention. It really wasn’t any of her business, it didn’t matter anyway it wouldn’t last longer than a month. 

She pulled the bracelet from the ashes, dusting it off. One way or another this relationship was going to end, whether Hugo got bored or she had to end it herself. She slipped the bracelet into her pocket, patting it lightly as she did so. It never hurt to have an insurance policy. 


End file.
